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Guest Message by DevFuse
 

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Roffle

A roffle attempt to foist more big, luxury* chod on another shiter. Also foresail £350.

Roffle

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98 replies to this topic

#61 OFFLINE   Ohdearme

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Posted 18 January 2019 - 12:56 PM

Wife says we have no room on the drive...

Were I to consult Mystic Meg there’s a good chance she’d see me parking the Galaxy and Voyager side by side and turning them into some kind of two room homeless shelter to live in once evicted from the house!

I’m hoping the carrier bag hooks on the Voyager rear seat will seal the deal with wifey I win :)

This maybe offset by her being unable to use the passenger window to escape my legendary arse guffs though.
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#62 OFFLINE   TheDoctor

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Posted 18 January 2019 - 01:02 PM

This is immensely horrid and lovely all at once.
For the first time in a while, I don't want entry to a roffle! Not even by proxy!

The autoshitist formerly known as Pandamonium. 


#63 OFFLINE   stephen01

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Posted 18 January 2019 - 04:07 PM

1x random-  thanks



#64 OFFLINE   chodweaver

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Posted 18 January 2019 - 05:12 PM

All updated


'Ridiculing shit engineering for over half a century'

 

Vomit colour Corsa 1.4 Comfort badermatic (the one constant, reliable thing in my life /Quentin)

XM 2.1 SEDTurbo (leaky driveway ornament)

LT Multicruiser (guest bedroom and backup kitchen)

Mk1 MR2 (rumours of its health are lies)

 

In the Voyager Sanitorium:

Chrysler Graf Spee Limited 3.3 + LPG (suspected OMGHG, Driver's window failure, ABS, AC and driver's seat heater failures)

Spears and reapers Chrysler Graf Spee Limited 3.3 + LPG (suspected long term abuse by PO, passenger's window failure)

 

(I'm sure I've forgotten at least one...)


#65 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted 18 January 2019 - 06:00 PM

My parents had one of these for a while years ago. I was amazed how much like driving a dormer bungalow it was. Comfy seats though.


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Opinions expressed are those of this cunt, not any other cunt. They do not represent the views of those responsible for this forum.
Like any true Englishman I'm never unintentionally rude. If you're offended by this post, good as that is what was my intention.


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#66 OFFLINE   bub2006

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Posted 18 January 2019 - 06:12 PM

I always had a liking for these. Insurance is over 300 quid extra for remaining 7 months!

#67 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted 18 January 2019 - 06:13 PM

I always had a liking for these. Insurance is over 300 quid extra for remaining 7 months!

 

Spoil yaself!


Opinions expressed are those of this cunt, not any other cunt. They do not represent the views of those responsible for this forum.
Like any true Englishman I'm never unintentionally rude. If you're offended by this post, good as that is what was my intention.


Champion cunt in the cunt count 2018.


#68 OFFLINE   cms206

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Posted 18 January 2019 - 06:13 PM

Tempting.

Congleton is about 7 tanks of pez away by my reckoning (253 miles).

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#69 OFFLINE   Talbot

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Posted 18 January 2019 - 06:46 PM

Congleton is about 7 tanks of pez away by my reckoning (253 miles).


220 miles for me.. just 6 tanks. Bargainous!

All joking aside, I've never even fuelled an LPG vehicle before now, so it could be an interesting* new experience. I wonder if there's even any LPG filling station anywhere near home.

Edit: Google says no.
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Current fleet:  Mercedes.  Xantia.  Berlingo.  Discovery.  Forward Control.  Nova. Historic shite.

#70 OFFLINE   yes oui si

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Posted 18 January 2019 - 08:36 PM

I've always avoided it in the past because they've all been an hour's drive away... But now I work virtually next door to somewhere that sells it.

Still put off by 99% of installations looking like you need to kneel to fill them :/


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Top grammar tips!

Bought = purchased. Brought = relocated
Lose = misplace/opposite of win. Loose = your mum


#71 OFFLINE   Bucketeer

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Posted 18 January 2019 - 08:45 PM

I'm happy to kneel if it saves me money.
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#72 OFFLINE   Talbot

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Posted 18 January 2019 - 08:51 PM

I'm happy to kneel if it saves me money.


This one seems to be more of a "kneel so that it costs about the same as a normal car" rather than actually *saving* money.

I'd hate to run one on Pez.
Current fleet:  Mercedes.  Xantia.  Berlingo.  Discovery.  Forward Control.  Nova. Historic shite.

#73 OFFLINE   yes oui si

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Posted 18 January 2019 - 09:02 PM

I'm happy to kneel if it saves me money.

You don't have my knees.

I hope not, anyway. I kind of need them, no matter how banjaxed they are...


ebehyh.png
Top grammar tips!

Bought = purchased. Brought = relocated
Lose = misplace/opposite of win. Loose = your mum


#74 OFFLINE   bub2006

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Posted 18 January 2019 - 09:13 PM

Spoil yaself!

I can barely keep my head afloat at the minute! I will try one in time though. Maybe when insurance comes down!

#75 OFFLINE   Bucketeer

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Posted 18 January 2019 - 10:34 PM

TBF I'd have to kneel to clear out the roof gutters, being a pointlessly lanky Easter Island statue halfwit clown.

Anyway, there seems to be a lot of excuses here and not so much of the buying. This is an absolute barg by any measure of bargedness.
You could spend £6 on a ticket for this or £6 on six pounds worth of something that isn't this.
Alternatively, £350 would buy you this second hand seven seat leather sofa...

$_58.JPG

...or seven leathery seats that come with heating, lights, a stereo and a humping great engine, all contained within a mobile metal box.
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#76 ONLINE   GrumpiusMaximus

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Posted 18 January 2019 - 10:42 PM

Tried to persuade Lady Grumpius that this was a viable option if she considered it an extension to our house.

 

Failure.


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#77 OFFLINE   chodweaver

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Posted 18 January 2019 - 11:09 PM

I've always avoided it in the past because they've all been an hour's drive away... But now I work virtually next door to somewhere that sells it.

Still put off by 99% of installations looking like you need to kneel to fill them :/

The connection at the filler is a gas tight seal - once locked on, you hold in a button on the pump (usually at head height) and wait for it to fill. Not so uncivilized, really.

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  • yes oui si likes this

'Ridiculing shit engineering for over half a century'

 

Vomit colour Corsa 1.4 Comfort badermatic (the one constant, reliable thing in my life /Quentin)

XM 2.1 SEDTurbo (leaky driveway ornament)

LT Multicruiser (guest bedroom and backup kitchen)

Mk1 MR2 (rumours of its health are lies)

 

In the Voyager Sanitorium:

Chrysler Graf Spee Limited 3.3 + LPG (suspected OMGHG, Driver's window failure, ABS, AC and driver's seat heater failures)

Spears and reapers Chrysler Graf Spee Limited 3.3 + LPG (suspected long term abuse by PO, passenger's window failure)

 

(I'm sure I've forgotten at least one...)


#78 OFFLINE   bub2006

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Posted 19 January 2019 - 07:57 AM

The connection at the filler is a gas tight seal - once locked on, you hold in a button on the pump (usually at head height) and wait for it to fill. Not so uncivilized, really.

Sent from my BV6000 using Tapatalk

Is it frowned upon to headbutt the stop switch?

#79 OFFLINE   chodweaver

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Posted 19 January 2019 - 10:07 AM

Only at Sainsbury's filling stations.



At Morrison's, you get extra reward points for it

Sent from my BV6000 using Tapatalk

'Ridiculing shit engineering for over half a century'

 

Vomit colour Corsa 1.4 Comfort badermatic (the one constant, reliable thing in my life /Quentin)

XM 2.1 SEDTurbo (leaky driveway ornament)

LT Multicruiser (guest bedroom and backup kitchen)

Mk1 MR2 (rumours of its health are lies)

 

In the Voyager Sanitorium:

Chrysler Graf Spee Limited 3.3 + LPG (suspected OMGHG, Driver's window failure, ABS, AC and driver's seat heater failures)

Spears and reapers Chrysler Graf Spee Limited 3.3 + LPG (suspected long term abuse by PO, passenger's window failure)

 

(I'm sure I've forgotten at least one...)


#80 OFFLINE   Minimad5

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Posted 19 January 2019 - 04:57 PM

God knows why, but throw me down for two tickets
Quote watanabe:
If I put rusty metal into Warren's minge machine, does it come clean and sparkling, like gash Calgon?

#81 OFFLINE   chodweaver

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Posted 19 January 2019 - 05:11 PM

Will do. You're beginning to understand how I come to have three of them...


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'Ridiculing shit engineering for over half a century'

 

Vomit colour Corsa 1.4 Comfort badermatic (the one constant, reliable thing in my life /Quentin)

XM 2.1 SEDTurbo (leaky driveway ornament)

LT Multicruiser (guest bedroom and backup kitchen)

Mk1 MR2 (rumours of its health are lies)

 

In the Voyager Sanitorium:

Chrysler Graf Spee Limited 3.3 + LPG (suspected OMGHG, Driver's window failure, ABS, AC and driver's seat heater failures)

Spears and reapers Chrysler Graf Spee Limited 3.3 + LPG (suspected long term abuse by PO, passenger's window failure)

 

(I'm sure I've forgotten at least one...)


#82 OFFLINE   chodweaver

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Posted 19 January 2019 - 05:15 PM

God knows why, but throw me down for two tickets

 

Done


'Ridiculing shit engineering for over half a century'

 

Vomit colour Corsa 1.4 Comfort badermatic (the one constant, reliable thing in my life /Quentin)

XM 2.1 SEDTurbo (leaky driveway ornament)

LT Multicruiser (guest bedroom and backup kitchen)

Mk1 MR2 (rumours of its health are lies)

 

In the Voyager Sanitorium:

Chrysler Graf Spee Limited 3.3 + LPG (suspected OMGHG, Driver's window failure, ABS, AC and driver's seat heater failures)

Spears and reapers Chrysler Graf Spee Limited 3.3 + LPG (suspected long term abuse by PO, passenger's window failure)

 

(I'm sure I've forgotten at least one...)


#83 OFFLINE   DodgeRover

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Posted 19 January 2019 - 08:31 PM

220 miles for me.. just 6 tanks. Bargainous!

All joking aside, I've never even fuelled an LPG vehicle before now, so it could be an interesting* new experience. I wonder if there's even any LPG filling station anywhere near home.

Edit: Google says no.


There is reasonably close if you are still near Pullborough, the fuels place that does bulk gas out the back of Billingshurst but they're stupidly expensive 80?ppl
Otherwise loads in the Horsham area, Pease Pottage services are usually the cheapest 64ppl

#84 OFFLINE   bub2006

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Posted 19 January 2019 - 09:12 PM

I've just found out I have a filling station less than 2 miles away. Oh dear.
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#85 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted 19 January 2019 - 09:25 PM

I've just found out I have a filling station less than 2 miles away. Oh dear.

 

How many tickets did you just ask for?


Opinions expressed are those of this cunt, not any other cunt. They do not represent the views of those responsible for this forum.
Like any true Englishman I'm never unintentionally rude. If you're offended by this post, good as that is what was my intention.


Champion cunt in the cunt count 2018.


#86 OFFLINE   bub2006

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Posted 19 January 2019 - 09:28 PM

Shush you

#87 OFFLINE   Ghosty

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Posted 20 January 2019 - 03:56 AM

I know of a BP that sells LPG, they misprogram their sign though so apparently it's 649.9p a litre.


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#88 OFFLINE   chodweaver

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Posted 20 January 2019 - 08:14 AM

There is one reasonably close if you are still near Janet Pullborough...

 

EFA


'Ridiculing shit engineering for over half a century'

 

Vomit colour Corsa 1.4 Comfort badermatic (the one constant, reliable thing in my life /Quentin)

XM 2.1 SEDTurbo (leaky driveway ornament)

LT Multicruiser (guest bedroom and backup kitchen)

Mk1 MR2 (rumours of its health are lies)

 

In the Voyager Sanitorium:

Chrysler Graf Spee Limited 3.3 + LPG (suspected OMGHG, Driver's window failure, ABS, AC and driver's seat heater failures)

Spears and reapers Chrysler Graf Spee Limited 3.3 + LPG (suspected long term abuse by PO, passenger's window failure)

 

(I'm sure I've forgotten at least one...)


#89 OFFLINE   Ohdearme

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Posted 21 January 2019 - 11:57 PM

I know of a BP that sells LPG, they misprogram their sign though so apparently it's 649.9p a litre.


Sounds about right for BP pricing...

Audi A1 Sport Diseasel - Wife shite
Ford Galuxury 2.0 Aspen

Ford Mondeo Ghia X - Roffling Off

SAAB 9-5 Aero Estate - MOT disasterz
Mazda 3 1.4 - Borrowed Dad shite -
Saab 9-5 2.3lpt - Roffled Off - Pending Collect

 


#90 ONLINE   loserone

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Posted 22 January 2019 - 12:10 PM

Can #19 please be reassigned to bangernomics, on my account.

Thanks
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If I win this I will literally drive it around.






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