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Crappest engine ever


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133 replies to this topic

#91 ONLINE   drivewaymyway

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Posted 03 December 2018 - 07:55 PM

How about the old 1980's Fiat 900cc push rod rattler sewing machine of an engine ?? I did my apprenticeship on Fiat and soon discovered no two engines were the same, some were economical and sound, some were powerful and revvy, some were just leaky smokey baskets of recycled scrap.. Some could be coaxed to go like shite off a stick but others would struggle to make any speed against a head wind... Easy to fix though..


Berlingo 1.9D 2005..  Blue. Van

Berlingo 1.9D 2005..  Blueish. Van.

Berlingo 1.9D 2004 Multi...  Silver.

VW Golf GTTDI 1997.. Silver..

Hyundai i30 1.6 CRDI 116, black.

MGF 1.8i.. Silver...  Shite...

2003 Yamaha R1.

Scott Mountain bike.

Daws Stratos road racer bike.

Static bike.

Grey wheelie bin.

Green wheelie bin.

Wheel barrow.. very rusted..

2 wheel sack trolley, bit bent but functional.

 


#92 OFFLINE   somewhatfoolish

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Posted 03 December 2018 - 08:35 PM

Another contender for the crappiest so-called ‘marine engine’ ever must be the Petter Mini Twin (and its little single cylinder sister the Mini 6). Petter took an ageing, noisy, hard to start by hand industrial engine and bolted on an aluminium water-cooled block and heads and then thought it would be a good idea to pump salty seawater through it. Unsurprisingly few have survived. Spares are unobtainable now, of course.

This one here probably has only because it has spent its life on fresh water canals...

https://m.youtube.co...YIBpI&t=59s

Squirrel2 has an air-cooled cousin of this one stashed away somewhere but need ear-defenders on to be anywhere near it when running; just like an ‘80s generator set!

Squirrel2

They weren't any worse than any of their contemporaries, noisy, unreliable exiles stolen from cement mixers covers pretty much all of them other than the Volvo Penta MD series, and the MDs cost a fortune; as long as you treated the cylinder head as a consumable item(!) and replaced it every 5 years or so... The cylinder head is of course the only bit that is now unobtainium! :D
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#93 OFFLINE   MarvinsMom

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Posted 03 December 2018 - 08:43 PM

easy - and i cannt belive its not been mentioned so far - the Rover kettle series.

 

fragile hopeless crap.

 

i had good service out of an 1800 CVH in a mark 2 sierra, and while it wasn't the best thing ever, it went ok. it didn't overheat or melt (like a k-series)

 

unlike the a-series (the engine that the kettle would replace) which while been old as adam, have to me a charm all of their own, and they do just keep on going!


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#94 ONLINE   forddeliveryboy

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Posted 03 December 2018 - 08:55 PM

They built plenty of Dub flat fours but at the same time no one who has rebuilt a few would argue that they were anything other than pitiful pieces of aluminium and cast iron which barely held together.

There is a long list of manufacturers who ballsed up cam chain tensioners, camshafts, cam followers, cooling systems that wouldn't and lubrication systems that didn't.

I'm going to argue that in most cases the manufacturers had their hearts in the right place. Sure there was more than a hint of cynicism in the CVH abortion but at least the car was reasonably cheap to buy and reasonably reliable.

I would argue that the worst has to be judged on the chasm bewteen expectation and reality. As far as I am aware the engines installed in any Citroen DS were not bad engines per se but they were abysmal compared with the powered by some alien space technology that had dropped off planet Moon the rest of the car lead you to expect.


I enjoyed that post, there's so much bullshit passed around about engine tech.

The big fours in otherwise stellar Citroëns were indeed poor by comparison with the rest of the vehicle although I'm not sure that back in the 1960s and 70s anything lasting 300-500k with nothing more than valve clearance adjustments and oil changes should be regarded as abysmal?

Perhaps part of the problem was the company producing cars with the 'correct' power - ie just enough for straight, fast French roads. And so not enough for some slow English ones which still drive round field corners just before steep short hills, despite the torque. Even though they were old fashioned, for anyone coming from anything British, the engines alone were wonderful. But yes, compared with the aerodynamics, suspension and braking they were a bit crap.
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#95 OFFLINE   MikeR

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Posted 03 December 2018 - 08:59 PM

anything with a cam belt with a sub 100k life


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#96 OFFLINE   Skut

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Posted 03 December 2018 - 09:43 PM

How about the old 1980's Fiat 900cc push rod rattler sewing machine of an engine ?? I did my apprenticeship on Fiat and soon discovered no two engines were the same, some were economical and sound, some were powerful and revvy, some were just leaky smokey baskets of recycled scrap.. Some could be coaxed to go like shite off a stick but others would struggle to make any speed against a head wind... Easy to fix though..


Many moons ago I read an online account of why some Fiat engines seem to perform so differently. It suggested that Fiat was not annealing the blocks consistently after casting and that some were warping creating internal friction. Could have been apocryphal but having owned a lot of 80s Fiats I wouldnt be surprised.

Personal nomination would be something like the 50s Ford Sidevalve engine. Even in the 30s it was hardly cutting edge and by the 50s selling an engine with a predicted lifespan with proper servicing of 40000 miles was pathetic. Early ones had thermosiphon cooling. Which is a fancy term to describe it being too amateurish and wank to have a water pump.
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#97 OFFLINE   cros

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Posted 04 December 2018 - 02:48 PM

MGA twin cam? Most recalled. Jowett yes - rushed into production and snapped crankshafts galore. Pity as it really killed Jowett.

Twin cam had a few issues to be sure; I had the PA in mind, it's amazing how people coped with the location of that dynamo. At least you didn't get rust in the electricity though.
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#98 ONLINE   red5

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Posted 04 December 2018 - 08:09 PM

They eat waterpumps and cambelt tensioners too. We had 3 go on our old Leon. Awful engines.

 

Don't forget the piston slap.


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#99 OFFLINE   Alfaisti

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Posted 04 December 2018 - 09:32 PM

Vauxhall's 1256cc engine as fitted to Viva and Shoveit absolutely awful heavy as and no power
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#100 OFFLINE   MrSchwifty

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Posted 05 December 2018 - 02:03 PM

The 3 cylinder Turbo Diesel from VW - as found in the Polo, Lupo etc. A hateful, rough, gutless lump. 


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At least its not on fire. 


#101 OFFLINE   leafsprung

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Posted 05 December 2018 - 02:25 PM

I don't quite get the hate for the venerable old 2 1/4 land rover petrol. They weren't bad engines at all and there's a lot of affection for them in LR circles. 300,000 miles plus isn't uncommon and they don't tend to give many serious issues if maintained and treated sensibly. I've had a few and if you accept they were a low revving, long-stroke engine designed (albeit many moons ago) for torque, fitted to a heavy agricultural utility vehicle with zero concessions to comfort, convenience and efficiency then they're pretty characterful and quite pleasant to be behind. They were designed in pre-small turbo diesel days when we weren't all rushing round like blue-arsed flies. A mate of mine had a series 3 with a military reconditioned 2 1/4 which was set up by an ex-REME mechanic. He was forever mincing the starter by trying to start it when it was running it was that smooth and quiet. It would start with the smallest flick of the key.  

 

I'm sure many people's judgements of a range of engines are clouded by badly maintained, amateur tuned examples which are then assessed against modern expectations and standards.

 

Of course there were some horrors, the only one I can contribute was the 2.5 'turbo' diesel in the Isuzu KB/Vauxhall Brava I had to endure in a work vehicle. The 100bhp rating was clearly utter horseshit. I don't quite know how it was possible to produce so little usable power from that capacity. No doubt it' would have run on piss and still been reliable once the tin plate bodies had long since returned to the soil.      


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#102 OFFLINE   stonedagain

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Posted 05 December 2018 - 03:22 PM

The 3 cylinder Turbo Diesel from VW - as found in the Polo, Lupo etc. A hateful, rough, gutless lump.

Mrs Stoned's Polo is a 1.4 TDI, it pulls like a train. Well impressed with it! The rest of the car though.........
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#103 ONLINE   Hooli

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Posted 05 December 2018 - 04:37 PM

The piece of shit pretending to be a power plant in a C15. It's barely got the grunt to turn the water pump let alone move a van.

Even for a basic NA diesel it's rough slow gutless noisey and generally awful. Mind you the rest of a C15 is as bad so it's lucky they have zero performance.
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#104 OFFLINE   Ghosty

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Posted 05 December 2018 - 04:44 PM

Honda D-Series.


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#105 ONLINE   twosmoke300

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Posted 06 December 2018 - 07:56 AM

Honda D-Series.


Just cos you have had a few bad examples
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One of the funniest things ive read on here - RIP Dave

 

Quote

 

Brilliant... late in for lunch I fired up an off-brand pot noodle and while carrying it to the lounge successfully spilled it all over myself, burned the piss out of my hand, soaked my phone with the juice, soaked a load of expense receipts I was also carrying and it hit the hall floor and just fucking exploded....it was literally dripping from the ceiling in my newly decorated hallway. The obvious and considered reaction was to throw an immediate, massive paddy and boot the fucker down the hall while screaming, which has made the whole scenario about 18 times worse.


#106 ONLINE   twosmoke300

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Posted 06 December 2018 - 07:57 AM

The piece of shit pretending to be a power plant in a C15. It's barely got the grunt to turn the water pump let alone move a van.

Even for a basic NA diesel it's rough slow gutless noisey and generally awful. Mind you the rest of a C15 is as bad so it's lucky they have zero performance.


Try that in a boxer !
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One of the funniest things ive read on here - RIP Dave

 

Quote

 

Brilliant... late in for lunch I fired up an off-brand pot noodle and while carrying it to the lounge successfully spilled it all over myself, burned the piss out of my hand, soaked my phone with the juice, soaked a load of expense receipts I was also carrying and it hit the hall floor and just fucking exploded....it was literally dripping from the ceiling in my newly decorated hallway. The obvious and considered reaction was to throw an immediate, massive paddy and boot the fucker down the hall while screaming, which has made the whole scenario about 18 times worse.


#107 OFFLINE   bigstraight6

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Posted 06 December 2018 - 04:39 PM

Mrs Stoned's Polo is a 1.4 TDI, it pulls like a train. Well impressed with it! The rest of the car though.........


I concur, my old Polo 1.4 TDI is the same and will cruise at 80 all day on the motorway and it’s on 146,000 miles now.
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#108 ONLINE   xtriple

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Posted 06 December 2018 - 04:46 PM

I have owned precisely one LR and it was a big old Safari thing with millions of windows (worth mucho coin now apparently) and that was fitted with the 2 1/4 petrol (I think) it was certainly a sidevalve/overhead valve thing and I want to say it was 6 cylinder but I ain't sure, could have been a four... anyway, it was thirsty as all hell, slow as a rusty clockwork slow worm and utterly lovely! So smooth and quiet, just a lovely thing weighed down by a MASSIVE LR body. To be fair, the entire car was mint and the old boy I took it in P/X from had had it since the year dot.

 

He bought a Range Rover from me - what a mug! I preferred the Landy all day long but it is the only LR I have driven that I actually liked, the rest all feel baggy and worn out, that was tight and precise... even the steering!


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#109 ONLINE   twosmoke300

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Posted 06 December 2018 - 05:06 PM

Isnt that the 2.6 IOE landrover engine ? As you say , smooth as silk but used more fuel than the v8


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One of the funniest things ive read on here - RIP Dave

 

Quote

 

Brilliant... late in for lunch I fired up an off-brand pot noodle and while carrying it to the lounge successfully spilled it all over myself, burned the piss out of my hand, soaked my phone with the juice, soaked a load of expense receipts I was also carrying and it hit the hall floor and just fucking exploded....it was literally dripping from the ceiling in my newly decorated hallway. The obvious and considered reaction was to throw an immediate, massive paddy and boot the fucker down the hall while screaming, which has made the whole scenario about 18 times worse.


#110 ONLINE   xtriple

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Posted 06 December 2018 - 05:39 PM

Yes, you are possibly (probably) correct. It was a LONG time ago and y memory ain't what it used to be sonny :)


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#111 ONLINE   forddeliveryboy

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Posted 06 December 2018 - 05:45 PM

Ime there are examples of almost all engines which don't run right, either because they weren't run in right or abuse in service (driving too gently for years can be as bad as any other abuse). There can be engines which are crap design but run very nicely because they happened to come off the production lines better than the rest and they've been serviced right.

The crappiest engine I've ever driven much was a gf's 1.9D VW on about 90k. It was rough and gutless (more than usual) and I reckoned it hadn't ever been run in properly (home counties lady owner from new previously) so overdue for an oil change I took it up to the Western Isles and worked it properly hard.

After that, it ran a good deal more smoothly, pulled harder and felt like a different lump altogether. Trouble being, it's all but impossible to do that with many modern engines without attaching a caravan coz they're so powerful.
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#112 ONLINE   twosmoke300

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Posted 06 December 2018 - 05:49 PM

Deffo right there - I used to work on White Arrow transits and they were the quickest and most mechanically reliable vans we worked on . Beaten from day one
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One of the funniest things ive read on here - RIP Dave

 

Quote

 

Brilliant... late in for lunch I fired up an off-brand pot noodle and while carrying it to the lounge successfully spilled it all over myself, burned the piss out of my hand, soaked my phone with the juice, soaked a load of expense receipts I was also carrying and it hit the hall floor and just fucking exploded....it was literally dripping from the ceiling in my newly decorated hallway. The obvious and considered reaction was to throw an immediate, massive paddy and boot the fucker down the hall while screaming, which has made the whole scenario about 18 times worse.


#113 ONLINE   PhilA

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Posted 07 December 2018 - 03:06 AM

Probably find that opened up the tolerances a little then the bearings got hardened to that shape, so the engine would be more loose than otherwise intended, and as such more willing and lively feeling.

Whereas by the time the bearings have worn to those tolerances in an engine treated with some sympathy, the thing's well past its' prime and any slack is offset by worn rings and such.

My old man used to reckon a worn engine that burned a bit of oil was better because the oil slowed the burn of cheap fuel and provided more of an impulse against the piston, providing greater torque. But, this was in the days of A-series Austins and Ford Valencia lumps ferrying us around.

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#114 OFFLINE   somewhatfoolish

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Posted 07 December 2018 - 08:06 AM

Isnt that the 2.6 IOE landrover engine ? As you say , smooth as silk but used more fuel than the v8

Early LRs had 1.6 then 2.0 IOE 4 cylinder engines, before the arrival of the stereotype 2&1/4 OHV in ~1958; long wheelbase ones were available with the IOE 6 from 1961 I think.
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#115 OFFLINE   sierraman

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Posted 07 December 2018 - 09:51 AM

Deffo right there - I used to work on White Arrow transits and they were the quickest and most mechanically reliable vans we worked on . Beaten from day one


I had several Transits all being run all day long took within an inch of their lives but on BP ultimate diesel. Never had a turbo or an injector go on them. Plenty of door hinges, clutches and DMFs mind. All did 100-120k over 3 years no problem with the usual stuff that causes grief on diesels.

#116 OFFLINE   gtd2000

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Posted 07 December 2018 - 10:27 AM

Meanwhile, back in 2013...

 

http://autoshite.com...ver-kv6-engine/


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Tell it like it is...NOT how it should be ;)

#117 ONLINE   forddeliveryboy

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Posted 07 December 2018 - 04:25 PM

Probably find that opened up the tolerances a little then the bearings got hardened to that shape, so the engine would be more loose than otherwise intended, and as such more willing and lively feeling.
Phil


It didn't feel looser, still newish and snug feeling just less vibration. The bores would have been deglazed and the rings woken up, it carried on for years running really well.

2cv engines would go to sleep if not revved and worked hard, much beyond 60k they wouldn't 'recover' - it was a matter of giving the bores a honing with fine stones then running them 20 miles without the fan on at 55-60, followed by some fresh Total 15/40. Some English drivers still couldn't get out of the habit of treating an engine gently, nor the idea of oil needing replacing every 3-5k.

#118 ONLINE   The Reverend Bluejeans

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Posted 07 December 2018 - 04:58 PM

Look at the original Alfa Romeo twin cam as an example of how to do it right. So good it lasted what, 42 years? 1955 to 1997. Superbly engineered and made with details like studs and nuts for the mains and big ends as opposed to plain bolts. Plus with correct maintenance they are very strong. Even at the very end in the last 164, the 150 bhp 2.0 TS was still a benchmark in thorough and high quality engineering. Unlike the Fiat based thing that replaced it.
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#119 ONLINE   richardthestag

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Posted 07 December 2018 - 07:02 PM

lots of great engines mentioned here, though they may have been in poor installations or even shite/zero maintenance,

 

Crappest engines?

 

Jag 2.8 6 pot, set too lean else as thirsty as 4.2. result = melting pistons

Ford Kent 1340 as fitted to Classic 61/62. 3 bearing crank. Bearing replacement every 10k miles not uncommon

Smart Fortwo 3 pot engine. Economical unless thrashed. lasts 30-40k miles unless thrashed*.


Shitroen C4 GP 2007 1.6HDi - Wife's daily written off, farewell trusty but slightly unpredictable steed

Hyundai i10 2010 newbee - Wife's daily

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Range Rover Vogue 1993 - my daily runner

Daewoo Matiz 2002 - Sold

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Range Rover 1972 - ongoing extensive restoration

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VW Polo 2002 1.2l 3 pot bargain for #2 son

Renna Clio Expression+ 16v Barg for #3 son

 


#120 ONLINE   richardthestag

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Posted 07 December 2018 - 07:07 PM

Interested to see what we get from this. Not crappest as in the usual shitefest of unreliable so much as crappy all round. May I nominate the Land Rover 2 and a quarter litre petrol. Rough. Unrefined. Fuck all power and barely 15mpg. Utter shite

 

strong, reliable, runs on goat piss, fix it with a hammer. in a LR Series will get you into the biggest mess you can find and then drag you out of it again.

 

In it's day cracking unit

 

now cracking unit

 

Ok when compared to a modern engine etc.. 


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Shitroen C4 GP 2007 1.6HDi - Wife's daily written off, farewell trusty but slightly unpredictable steed

Hyundai i10 2010 newbee - Wife's daily

Pug 307 - son's daily runner Sold to Arthur Foxhake

Range Rover Vogue 1993 - my daily runner

Daewoo Matiz 2002 - Sold

Jaguar x308 Sovereign 4 litre - sold to Hooli

Triumph Staaag 1973 - cheaper than a mistress.. just

Range Rover 1972 - ongoing extensive restoration

Range Rover 1972 - complete shed but in line for restoration

Land Rover 1969 SIIa SWB - belongs to Fathathestag but maintained and welded by me

BMW E46 318i touring - sold to hhhugues

VW Polo 2002 1.2l 3 pot bargain for #2 son

Renna Clio Expression+ 16v Barg for #3 son

 





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