BeEP Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 Are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin. A long, long time ago (last month) I was at my local garage having a Renault Clio MOTed (yes, that one, now owned by Angrydicky), when I happened to enquire about a Volvo V70 T5 which had been in the car park for a number of weeks. “Heater matrix gone, she’s scrapping it” was the response. Obviously, I toddled off to have a closer look. Despite every panel having a dent or scrape I saw pound signs a car needing rescuing. Only 128k, MOT until next August and a full black leather interior, surely this shouldn’t be scrapped. OK, so the ABS light is also on (it transpires that it’s been on for years, and the owner’s garage helpfully reset it before each MOT). I asked the garage if they could see whether the owner minded me contacting them, and whilst waiting for a reply did a quick CarTakeBack quote and googled changing the heater matrix (it’s really simple). For brevity, we agreed a price, met at the car for her to reclaim her belongings and sign paperwork and the car was mine. Now I needed to get a car home which distributed water over the floor as quickly as I poured it in. I could have risked driving it the three quarters of a mile I guess, or got a friend to tow me on a rope. But being an independent sort, I decided to take the trailer and do it properly. It needed to be outside business hours so the car park was empty(ish) so last Wednesday, at 7am, in the rain, I went to get it. Started it, turned it round, switched it off. Backed trailer up. Got in to drive onto trailer. Wouldn’t start; well it caught each time then immediately died. After numerous attempts, and not wanting to have to winch it on, I decided to bump it on with the starter. Turn key, hop along, stop as engine dies. Repeat. At the top of the ramps I realised I was a bit off centre. One more hop and hissssssssss. I got out and had a look. Despite only just rubbing the side of the trailer the nsf tyre had somehow acquired a nice hole in the sidewall. “Oh bother”, or similar I shouted muttered, Nothing for it but to continue. Hop, stop. Hop, stop. Two thirds of the way onto the trailer, just one more hop I thought. Turn key, engine catches…..and continues to run. Before feet hit brake and clutch the bumper has ridden over the posts at the front of the trailer (which I assume were put there as markers – don’t come any further forward than this!) which had impaled themselves through the front undertray. “Oh bother”, I muttered again. The car was firmly stuck so although the noseweight was clearly way too high I had no choice but to put the straps on and limp sadly home. Look, leather… Angle grinder out, cut off posts from trailer, reverse off (obviously it started first time now) removing remainder of undertray, park in workshop and go inside for a cup of tea and to warm up. Suitably refreshed, I went back outside to swap the punctured tyre for the spare. I knew I had the locking wheel bolt key so what could go wrong. The pile of Kwik-Fit receipts for various tyres should have set alarm bells ringing. Yes, wheel nuts applied by gorilla with windy gun. The non-locking ones succumbed to my longest breaker bar, then I stupidly applied the same technique to the locking wheel bolt, and promptly destroyed the key. I may have said “bother” again. Hammering a variety of normal sockets on unsurprisingly didn’t work, and just as I was about to give up I spotted a locking wheel nut tool amongst the bits belonging to Craig the Princess which still reside in my workshop. It’s the type which cut a reverse thread, and although I didn’t hold out much hope it bit on the bolt and eventually, with my largest breaker bar and scaffold pole over the end, the bolt came out. Now I needed to get the tool off the bolt so I could do the other side (the two at the rear weren’t so tight and came off with a 12 point socket hammered over them). The instructions say grind flats on the sides of the bolt and hold in a vice to remove. This I did, but I refer you to the scaffold pole used in tightening it. With the vice tightened to breaking point (clue) I heaved on the bar. Bang. Yep, the casting of the vice had sheared completely across the saddle. Guess what I said. But it does have 20 valves, a turbo and many horses hidden in here: Changing the heater matrix (remember, this was the only thing I needed to do) took less than an hour! I still need to sort a replacement tyre out and replace under dash trim, but expect ‘project’ to be replaced by ‘for sale’ shortly. It’s not cursed, honestly, and will probably* provide its new owner with years minutes of reliable, fairly fast motoring. Supernaut, paulplom, scdan4 and 36 others 39 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exiled_Tat_Gatherer Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 Excellent saving and all worth the 'bother' I'd say. Friday is always a bit brighter - but that write up just made my day. Sounds a lot like my pathetic attempts every time I involve a trailer!No ar*e end shots - towbar? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeEP Posted November 16, 2018 Author Share Posted November 16, 2018 No towbar unfortunately. I'd be slightly tempted to keep it if there were. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davehedgehog31 Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 Brilliant write up and well saved! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minimad5 Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 That's lovely Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parky Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 Superb save Mr Hedgehog. Being a Volvo, i think I can imagine what the next owner will look like.... cms206, GrumpiusMaximus, beko1987 and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeEP Posted November 16, 2018 Author Share Posted November 16, 2018 Not sure any hedgehogs were involved in saving it, but I'm quite happy to point it North when the time comes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Split_Pin Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 Good save for an hour's work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sierraman Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 Manual as well for added shiteness. How quick are we talking with these things, I know they were popular with the cops. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bramz7 Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 These are definitely in my to own list....watching with interest. Don't you just love it when a car struggles with you all the way? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inconsistant Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 Nice write up, I felt like I was there with you. You did the right thing and will be rewarded in the fullness of time. drum and BeEP 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeEP Posted November 16, 2018 Author Share Posted November 16, 2018 Manual as well for added shiteness. How quick are we talking with these things, I know they were popular with the cops. Google suggests 0 - 60 just over 7s Don't you just love it when a car struggles with you all the way? A week ago I would have quite happily have set fire to it! I still need to get the locking wheel bolt tool off the last bolt; but at least the car is liberated from such daft inventions now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs6C Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 I have a slightly later T5 ('T' plate 1999) and it is a fantastic thing. Over 200k miles now and drives really well. Attend to the service items at service intervals and they seem very happy. Should add that it had the heater matrix leak and replacement before my ownership; there are still some telltale blue/green drip marks on the passenger side floormat! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeEP Posted November 16, 2018 Author Share Posted November 16, 2018 I have a slightly later T5 ('T' plate 1999) and it is a fantastic thing. Over 200k miles now and drives really well. Attend to the service items at service intervals and they seem very happy. It came with a wodge of paperwork, including receipts for annual servicing. The only thing missing is evidence of a cambelt change; Mrs6C 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
omegod Posted November 16, 2018 Share Posted November 16, 2018 Did the garage have CCTV at all, would like to see the trailer kerfuffle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeEP Posted November 16, 2018 Author Share Posted November 16, 2018 Did the garage have CCTV at all, would like to see the trailer kerfuffle I asked them that when I popped back to make sure I hadn't left bits of Volvo on the car park. Luckily they haven't Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs6C Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 It came with a wodge of paperwork, including receipts for annual servicing. The only thing missing is evidence of a cambelt change;If it has been serviced at a Volvo dealer, they have a centralised database of all the service records, indexed by registration number. You can go in and ask for the service records for your car and find out if it was done by Volvo. I can't remember if you have to take in the logbook to show that it's you car, but that's not a difficult thing to remember to take along! This might be worthwhile too, if you can get the car to a Volvo dealer by 31-Dec-18:https://www.volvocars.com/uk/own/explore/all-systems-go BeEP and dome 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeEP Posted November 17, 2018 Author Share Posted November 17, 2018 If it has been serviced at a Volvo dealer, they have a centralised database of all the service records, indexed by registration number. Thank you, interesting to know. However, all the servicing since the previous owners acquired the car in 2004 has been done at an independent garage. Which I can understand given London prices; until it ended up recovered to my village (the owner was visiting relatives here) the poor thing had lived there all its life. Mrs6C 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 The heater matrix is ridiculously easy in these. You could probably get it down to 20 minutes, and most of that would be mopping up spillages. Before the Volvo the last car I had with a leaky matrix was a Xantia, it got a monkey shit. The ABS is easy enough to fix too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twiggy Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 That was fascinating, thank you. I`ve always fancied a Volvo, particularly a 740/940 estate, but good ones are getting a bit pricey just now. The V70 looks good, particularly the diesel variety. Good luck with it ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shirley Knott Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 This looks very nice and made for an interesting read too. One day I'll probably replace my 940 with a T5. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamworthbay Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 Looks a complete bargain, they are stupidly quick for an old barge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeEP Posted November 17, 2018 Author Share Posted November 17, 2018 Thanks for the compliments; the photo above is from its best angle! When this becomes a for sale thread I'll show all it's scrapes; it is a bit battered - normal for London. Excellent tyre procured and fitted in exchange for two old metric Metro wheels & tyres. Metro wheels were then going to be exchanged for slightly* outlawed weed killer - normal for Norfolk, where even cash is a bit new-fangled. Rocket88 and Tickman 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rml2345 Posted November 17, 2018 Share Posted November 17, 2018 That looks pretty good, well saved! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeEP Posted November 23, 2018 Author Share Posted November 23, 2018 As confidently predicted in the opening post, this fine vehicle is now very much for sale, at a bargain* price to shiters of merely £420. Location: Norfolk/Cambridsgire border, 5 miles from Wisbech and 8 miles from Downham Market. I can collect potential buyers from Downham Market or March train stations, or Wisbech bus station. Before the details I’d like to state an overriding caveat; I haven’t driven this car other than up and down my track. However, it was the previous owner’s only car for 14 years, and has only been off the road for around two months due to the aforementioned heater matrix becoming incontinent. It certainly sounds healthy and I’ve run it up to temperature a few times. The price reflects this, and the fact that there is an obvious differemce in the lengths of the lists of good and bad stuff. So here goes… Good stuff MOT until August 25th 2019. Only 128,000 miles. Service history for last 14 years including annual services. Full black leather interior (wear on driver’s seat bolster as shown in photos). Interior is in very clean, tidy condition. Excellent tyres all round including spare. The hilarious* puncture episode has actually resulted in an improvement as the replacement is better than the one which came off. Matching set of original Volvo floor mats (OK, I’m getting desperate here!). Not quite so good stuff ABS and TRACS lights on. Pressing the TRACS button makes no difference to the latter, but maybe I just don’t understand how it’s meant to work. No evidence of a cambelt change in the history. Change interval is 110k. Electric windows all work from their own switches but nsf doesn’t work from driver’s door and nsr only goes down. Heated seats don’t work. Load area cover present and undamaged but doesn’t retract. All corners are scuffed and there is a significant scuff/damage to nsr wheel arch and door. Some rust at bottom of osr door. Lacquer peel at back of roof. Nearside front foglight missing and the grilles that (I think) should sit next to both front foglights are also missing. Alloy wheels showing various stages of corrosion although all seem to still be airtight. Front undertray with car but no longer attached (see opening post).I think that’s it, so have some photos and form an orderly queue. I’ll advertise it for somewhat more in the usual places next week if no interest on here. HillmanImp, wuvvum, inconsistant and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purplebargeken Posted November 23, 2018 Share Posted November 23, 2018 Bargain! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeEP Posted November 23, 2018 Author Share Posted November 23, 2018 Bargain! Thanks, I'd like to think so. It would be good if someone on here could make use of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeEP Posted November 23, 2018 Author Share Posted November 23, 2018 Provisionally sold to a prolific shiter . Will update later garethj, Saabnut, The Moog and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Posted November 23, 2018 Share Posted November 23, 2018 ABS and TRACS lights on. Pressing the TRACS button makes no difference to the latter, but maybe I just don’t understand how it’s meant to work. ABS and TRACS lights come on together if there's a fault in the ABS. It's likely to be a dry joint in the ABS ECU, which is free and reasonably easy to sort out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sierraman Posted November 23, 2018 Share Posted November 23, 2018 Can’t go wrong there. Even if the belt went in six months time you’d still see most of your money back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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