Cars or jobs you hate working on

[Captain Furious]

I did a front spring on the same car, I definitely wouldn't entertain that again.  If the compressors let go it would launch itself over the moon.  Its the kind of job where you're literally taking your life in your hands if you're using crappy DIY spring compressors.

[JimH]

I did a Mk3 Mondeo clutch on the drive a few years back, vowed that would be my last major DIY undertaking.  Everything about it was absolute misery from start to finish.  It was basically a combination of all the jobs I really hate rolled into one.

It seems to be pretty much the way things are done now.

 

1. Clutch fails

2. Shrug shoulders because this is an FWD car and all FWD cars are like Mk1 Golfs obviously. Drive shafts off, unbolt bell housing, remove gearbox (probably with your hands) swap the clutch over, slap it back together. Doddle.

3. With No2 in mind open factory workshop database/pdf manual. Scan down list of jobs which is probably about 8 steps long. Sorted.

4. Venture out to workshop and lie under car pondering what you are going to do for the rest of the day once this is done.

5. Slowly absorb that there are some important bits in the way of the gearbox. In fact you can barely see the gearbox.

6. Go back to the two pages you printed off.

7. Take in the full meaning of "Prepare car as per sections 34, 35, 36 and 37"

8  Pop back to the PC and take a look at the aforementioned sections. This might take a while because Tolstoy would think that they "go on a bit".

9. Pick heart off floor.

10. Dismantle car from around the clutch.

 

It's not commonplace but clutches do wear. Surely there is a better way of designing these things such that you do not need to dismantle the entire front suspension to replace it.

 

Oh and Honda Accord/Rover 600. Dismantle the front suspension to change the discs. Bravo!

[Zelandeth]

Oh, thinking of Rovers...

 

KV6 thermostat anyone?

[The_Equalizer]

I did a front spring on the same car, I definitely wouldn't entertain that again.  If the compressors let go it would launch itself over the moon.  Its the kind of job where you're literally taking your life in your hands if you're using crappy DIY spring compressors.

 

Springs certainly add a bit of 'excitement' to mechanicing. In order of possible danger/wounding:

 

1) Slipped spanner resulting bad bruising;

2) Nut rounding taking the skin off your knuckles;

3) Cutting yourself on rogue sharp edge of rusty metal with added chance of infection plus tetanus for good measure;

4) Unplanned spring decompression with loss of head.

 

One and two are given. It's three and four that add 'spice' to Autoshiting.

[JimH]

One job I absolutely, utterly and completely loathe doing is popping tyres back onto the bead.

 

Memories of Bert Tlisley, I reckon.

[Exiled_Tat_Gatherer]

Sadly I'm an idiot - so approach every job with gay abandon........... I always end up hating the fucking job and associated car afterwards though. I've not EVER had a single job go 'easily' on a car. One way or another that pile of auto-shite is thinking - right you bastard, this is for driving like a twat....... and there goes another collection of knuckle/elbow/anywhere on the head - skin........ 

[Guest MattJY]

Renaults and suspension/drivshafts/wheelbearings......grrrrrh

[pshome]

I like working on my cars, even difficult jobs are OK, the satisfaction when something has been achieved is always worth the effort. My problem is that i tend to spend a lot of money on special tools. A good job needs good tools, and a good quailtiy tool is awlways worth the money, isn't it? The money spent this way is usually more than that it would cost to have the job done by a garage. Hardly ever do i need the tools again, and if, i can't find them or forgot i have them.

[davehedgehog31]

Not done it often, but hate using DIY style spring compressors, don't fancy taking a coiled spring to the face.

 

My dad claims to have completed this task with cable ties back in the day. 

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

It seems to be pretty much the way things are done now.

 

1. Clutch fails

2. Book it into a garage if it's not expensive.

3. Weigh the cunt in if it is.

 

 

 

FTFY m8

 

But seriously - I had a Peugeot 207GTi clutch done by a very good specialist for £275 all in. A clutch kit is about 100 quid, so why the fuck would anyone DIY? 

[sierraman]

I dunno. Might like crouching with your head inside a wheel arch for 4-5 hours on your hands an knees kneeling in a puddle of gearbox oil.

[Bobthebeard]

Anything involving ramps, axle stands or jacks.

Irrational hatred of going underneath cars unless on a proper lift. Gives me nightmares.

[SierraMikeHotel]

Anything involving ramps, axle stands or jacks.

Irrational hatred of going underneath cars unless on a proper lift. Gives me nightmares.

Not irrational at all. I knew someone, years ago, who was killed when his Triumph Toledo fell on him. He was only about 19.

[2MB]

Anything involving gear oil.

Same here. It fuckin stinks. Differential oil is even worse. 1 drop on clothing can make a full load of washing, the tumble dryer and subsequently the whole house smell eggy

[fordperv]

Not done it often, but hate using DIY style spring compressors, don't fancy taking a coiled spring to the face.

 

My dad claims to have completed this task with cable ties back in the day.

Don't forget springs weren't as high a poundage rating or as long back then, also cable ties were better made, on old cars building struts back up I have got the top plate in place on top of the spring and compressed the spring with palms on the top cup whilst an assist puts the relevant little bits and the nut on so I can believe he has took the tension of the spring like that

[The_Equalizer]

Anything involving ramps, axle stands or jacks.

Irrational hatred of going underneath cars unless on a proper lift. Gives me nightmares.

 

This is where I ensure eveything is doubled-up. Even when on axel stands, I still stick the wheel underneath and have the jack just touching another supporting point of the body. Still a bit of an odd feeling when lying underneath the best part of a couple of tons of metal and trying to navigate about is a right pain. Do like pits though - something comforting about them!

[sierraman]

I hate pits so claustrophobic. Worse are old DIY type pits, aside from the fire risk a lot aren’t built to hold a modern car, you know what people were like in the 50’s, cutting corners. I had one once at a garage, it was just single leaf facing bricks sat on a base of hardcore. I’d be fairly sure with the weight of a modern car on it it would have caved in.

[xtriple]

I have had a car fall on me when underneath, I can assure you it hurts! Jaguar MK 10 and it was my head that caught the car and my mates knee, both were/are a proper mess - Ambulance man said 'You'll need a sewing machine to stitch that up!' which I thought was helpful at the time

[lanciamatt]

I used to work for motosave in the early 2000s, and metro exhaust front pipes were a bastard to seal especially with those fiddly clamps, also mk1 mondeo brake disks literally siezed on solid, only way to get them off was smash them into half.

[eddyramrod]

Everything.

 

I learned in the early 70s, my early teens, to hate drum brakes and those fiddly springs, and look, I've managed to avoid having to do anything to them ever since.

ALL jobs, whatever they are and wherever on the car, take at least six times longer than you thought and require extra expense.  Fuck it, pay a pro.

[twosmoke300]

The tossy c shaped exhaust down pipe clamps used on older vag stuff ! Even with the proper tool poor access on , say a t4, makes it a right cock about

[sierraman]

The absolute plethora of undertrays on Passat B6s make getting at anything a twat. I suppose it keeps the shit and water off the brake pipes.

[delux]

Anything on any Land Rover, ever!  

 

I'm usually the guy who works away quite happily, I dont mind brake pipes, I find welding quite therapeutic and I love anything electrical, trickier the better!

 

...but as soon as I have to do anything on any of those, the mood changes!

 

I do not want to lie upside down, in the drivers footwell messing about with master cylinders on discos.

 

I dont care if you think the body lifts off easily because I've done it on rangies and discos and it sodding doesnt! Yeah, you simply heave off the mounting bolts, wrestle the big multiplugs absorb the crusty heatshields with your eyes, simply take the big multiplugs apart and feed it down the tiny hole at the back of the engine, break the flimsy pipes for the air suspension...etc...etc...

 

If you are servicing an early freelander (or as I call it, an Allegro) and someone has cut a big hole in the shitguard to get into the sump plug rather than break and round all the mounting bolts it was probably me who cut it! Even then, thats only because a colleague threw my air chisel on the roof!

 

On the advice of the local ramraider dealer I tried fitting the 'repair' kit to the active suspension distribution block under the drivers side. When I had finished I bled the system (fill it up, roadtest it trying to make it tip over then top fluid up). I was happy to find it was not leaking but not so happy when warning light came on. Checked the code, called the dealer who informed me 'The units fucked, they are bad for that!'

 

Why bolt the battery in on later freelanders with a brass insert in a plastic battery tray then position in right at the front so all the shite off the road can speed up they electrolysis! If people have to lever the battery out then mount the battery tray in a vice to get the retaining bolt out then its not designed that well!

 

Even the old stuff is shite. I used to work for a tit who had a fetish for the older ones, Even coarser, noisier and leakier than the transit/peugeot/ford ones of today. I remember being told 'Yeah, the gearbox always crunch going into second, they all do it!' Well design the fuckin gearbox better!

 

I am not a big fan of Kia Sedonas and being a mechanic I think the French could do with thinking things out better.

I think German cars are over complicated. Do we need a control unit in each door? Do we need to connect things together with fibre optics? If you are going to fit control units everywhere could you stop putting them in tupperware boxes (BMW) or under badly sealed windows (Merc, BMW) or under the sodding carpet (Audi) Cnuts! Would be nice if the guy who tapes up the wiring properly or doesnt position it to collect water (Every sodding VW/Seat/Skoda). 

 

But they are all tolerable compared to the green oval!

[sierraman]

Heaving big fuck off struts out is fun as well.

 

You really do need the proper tool on an increasing amount of stuff. I see a fair few doing some fairly involved jobs at the roadside with a Halfords 12 sided socket set. I must have about 4 or 5 different ball joint splitting type tools, not one does everything.

[omegod]

Drivers side ex manifold gasket on a V6 Omega, just don't , really just don't, Wilkinson Sword designed the engine bay I swear !

[twosmoke300]

Heaving big fuck off struts out is fun as well.

 

You really do need the proper tool on an increasing amount of stuff. I see a fair few doing some fairly involved jobs at the roadside with a Halfords 12 sided socket set. I must have about 4 or 5 different ball joint splitting type tools, not one does everything.

A hammer does 99% of balljoints tho

[sierraman]

Length of scaffold bar and a copper mallet knocks most wishbone ball joints out as well.

[Mrcento]

Anything involving ramps, axle stands or jacks.

Irrational hatred of going underneath cars unless on a proper lift. Gives me nightmares.

 

I'm the same. To be honest, i go under most things, but my disco 1 is the first thing i've owned i refuse to go under on anything but its own 4 wheels. The added weight over a normal car + it's general crumbliness = a large dose of "fuck that".

 

Springs certainly add a bit of 'excitement' to mechanicing. In order of possible danger/wounding:

 

1) Slipped spanner resulting bad bruising;

2) Nut rounding taking the skin off your knuckles;

3) Cutting yourself on rogue sharp edge of rusty metal with added chance of infection plus tetanus for good measure;

4) Unplanned spring decompression with loss of head.

 

One and two are given. It's three and four that add 'spice' to Autoshiting.

 

True story, i did vehicle engineering at college and we did spring compression. The lecturer then said he had to leave the room when we were doing it because that's the job that made him gave up working in a garage after watching his mate getting fatally wounded when a compressor failed.

 

That was confidence inspiring.

[pshome]

I did my first spring compression job using floral wire, lots of it, much to my mother's annoyance. I was 19 and stupid and my Passat needed a new front wheel bearing. Now 37 years later, i wonder, why did i even take that spring out?

[Ghosty]

Honda D and F-series engines, in any application, be it Rover or Honda.

 

Transverse block.

 

The oil filter is under the inlet manifold/throttle body/fuel rail. Best access is from underneath.