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Jaaaaaaaaaaag......100 Gallons of dinosaurs

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200 replies to this topic

#181 OFFLINE   Junkman

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Posted 08 December 2018 - 03:15 PM


Unplug the MAF

Turn the ignition on for at least 5 secs

Turn ignition off

Plug the MAF back in

 

Do you have to do this durig the second New Moon after Ting at the crossroads where the witches meet on Walpurgisnacht, carrying a rabbit's foot and a sorcerer's pendant?

 

What a load of horseshit.

Flog that pile of silicone idiots and buy an old Renault, ffs.


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#182 OFFLINE   richardmorris

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Posted 08 December 2018 - 03:18 PM

teh back seat is very comfortable + you can see what I can only assume is the stiletto heel hole in the headlining :)


I nearly bought a Cx prestige with mystery holes in the roof lining and lots of glitter in the carpet!
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#183 OFFLINE   richardmorris

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Posted 08 December 2018 - 03:27 PM

Do you have to do this durig the second New Moon after Ting at the crossroads where the witches meet on Walpurgisnacht, carrying a rabbit's foot and a sorcerer's pendant?
 
What a load of horseshit.
Flog that pile of silicone idiots and buy an old Renault, ffs.


My Citroen c5 allegedly learned how you drove and programmed the ignition accordingly. I can only assume it thought I was a suicidal masochist who lived for random error messages and the occasional total switch off ( whilst driving). I can still wake in in a cold sweat hearing a “bing” and seeing anti-pollution fault on a screen. Swapping the battery did involve turning everything off. Opening the windows and then waiting for five minutes before removing the battery, then turning the lights on and then starting the ignition. Oy vey!
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#184 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted 08 December 2018 - 03:30 PM

Do you have to do this durig the second New Moon after Ting at the crossroads where the witches meet on Walpurgisnacht, carrying a rabbit's foot and a sorcerer's pendant?

 

What a load of horseshit.

Flog that pile of silicone idiots and buy an old Renault, ffs.

 

Nope, holding a good Scotch outside a public house is the ideal time.

 

I have no desire for an old renault as I need a car not a comedy heap roughly shaped like a car.


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#185 OFFLINE   Junkman

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Posted 08 December 2018 - 03:34 PM

Why did you buy a Jaaag then?


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1967 Renault 16 Grand Luxe.......................Thanks to Weber now running well on regular gas

1993 Peugeot 405 2.0 auto Saloon..........................................A disappointment for many

1997 Peugeot 405 2.0 auto Estate..............................Is being regularly crashed into things


#186 OFFLINE   richardmorris

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Posted 08 December 2018 - 03:37 PM

Why did you buy a Jaaag then?


Touché
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#187 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted 08 December 2018 - 03:40 PM

Why did you buy a Jaaag then?

 

Because Vee Eight.

 

Next silly question?


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Like any true Englishman I'm never unintentionally rude. If you're offended by this post, good as that is what was my intention.


#188 OFFLINE   forddeliveryboy

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Posted 08 December 2018 - 03:54 PM

2000 miles with no FTP? It's not broken, those fault codes are just the car having a chat with you. One of the loveliest engines ever.
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#189 OFFLINE   Junkman

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Posted 08 December 2018 - 04:18 PM

Because Vee Eight.

 

Next silly question?

 

Isn't there a country famous for doing proper V8s?

Flog that shitbox and get yourself a real car, ffs.

 

Why would anyone buy a Jaaaag with 2/3 of a Jaaaag engine?


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1967 Renault 16 Grand Luxe.......................Thanks to Weber now running well on regular gas

1993 Peugeot 405 2.0 auto Saloon..........................................A disappointment for many

1997 Peugeot 405 2.0 auto Estate..............................Is being regularly crashed into things


#190 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted 08 December 2018 - 05:38 PM

Great Britain is the only country that matters in this world and if I could afford to run a V12 I probably would.


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#191 OFFLINE   Ohdearme

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Posted 08 December 2018 - 08:32 PM

As a reward for not breaking I've given it it's second wash on my ownership.


What are these ‘washes’ that you speak of? I’ve never encountered one in all my shitery owning.
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#192 OFFLINE   Noel Tidybeard

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Posted 08 December 2018 - 10:08 PM

My Citroen c5 allegedly learned how you drove and programmed the ignition accordingly. I can only assume it thought I was a suicidal masochist who lived for random error messages and the occasional total switch off ( whilst driving). I can still wake in in a cold sweat hearing a “bing” and seeing anti-pollution fault on a screen. Swapping the battery did involve turning everything off. Opening the windows and then waiting for five minutes before removing the battery, then turning the lights on and then starting the ignition, whilst standing on one leg with the left trouser leg rolled up to the knee

 

EFA


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#193 OFFLINE   richardmorris

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Posted 09 December 2018 - 03:52 PM

EFA


Not to mention fingers crossed and praying for it to start again.
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#194 OFFLINE   Noel Tidybeard

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Posted 09 December 2018 - 05:18 PM

Not to mention fingers crossed and praying for it to start again.

standard!


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#195 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted 13 December 2018 - 10:31 PM

I went to see the local well respected on forums Jag specialist to ask about the knackered bush at the rear. Seems it's the A-frame & they always do both sides as the remaining one normally tears getting the A-frame off. About £220+vat, so £260 or so. I'll get it booked in for the new year & they'll take a look for prop shaft bearings, joints etc too as I said about the clunky gears at times. I think it'll be a clutch pack in the box & so does he, but it's worth checking those bits while it's up on a lift.

 

Even if I can't fix the box I'll be able to turn right out of junctions at more than funeral pace without triggering the TC in the wet afterwards as the RH side of the suspension lifts, triggers the TC & everything stops.... It'll also cure the unsettled feel in fast bends at times when I can feel the body flop over till the suspension takes up the load again as it moves on that knackered bush.

 

Oh & most importantly I will get around to changing the bulb so the gearshift lights up.


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Like any true Englishman I'm never unintentionally rude. If you're offended by this post, good as that is what was my intention.


#196 OFFLINE   richardthestag

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Posted Yesterday, 05:59 PM

Thank for changing teh thread title. my heart missed a beat each time the thread rocked up to the top :D

 

that bush passed the last mot but that doesnt mean anything ;) . at least it explains why the poor old beast didnt like cornering hard, but then I guess the passengers would spill the gin so to speak

 

you planning on digging into the box then  :shock:

 

witchcraft I say witchcraft


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#197 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted Yesterday, 06:04 PM

Dig into the box? not me! I probably would if it was on a bench, but there is no way I'm taking it out on the drive. I did enough daft things like that when I was young.

 

I spotted the bush the first weekend I had this, when the wheels were off to free the brakes up. It does explain a few things indeed & the way he knew exactly what I meant I'd say it's a common issue too.


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#198 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted Yesterday, 06:05 PM

Tonight while flicking through the trip computer when in traffic I found it I've used 100 gallons of dinosaurs since getting this beast, and managed 2155miles in the process.


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Like any true Englishman I'm never unintentionally rude. If you're offended by this post, good as that is what was my intention.


#199 OFFLINE   Supernaut

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Posted Yesterday, 06:57 PM

Over 20mpg?!

You obviously don't care enough about improving the climate™.
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I don't have a 320touring, but I have a 320 coupe.

#200 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted Yesterday, 08:09 PM

I like cold weather.


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Like any true Englishman I'm never unintentionally rude. If you're offended by this post, good as that is what was my intention.


#201 OFFLINE   Ohdearme

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Posted Yesterday, 09:41 PM

I like cold weather.


You’re on your own, I was laid on my back playing with my Galaxys bits last night and bugger me it’s cold. nevermind a sheared bolt, I’m amazed I’ve not snapped one of my sausage fingers off trying to tinker the last few nights...

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