Jump to content


Welcome to Autoshite

Welcome to Autoshite, like most online communities you must register to view or post in our community, but don't worry this is a simple free process that requires minimal information for you to signup. Be apart of Autoshite by signing in or creating an account.
  • Start new topics and reply to others
  • Subscribe to topics and forums to get automatic updates
  • Get your own profile and make new friends
  • Customize your experience here
Guest Message by DevFuse
 

Photo

The grumpy thread


  • Please log in to reply
89727 replies to this topic

#89701 ONLINE   myglaren

myglaren

    Rank: Renault 16

  • Full Members
  • 3,428 posts
  • 12 thanks
  • LocationWashington

Posted Yesterday, 04:57 PM

They look more like legs and feet but if you say so...


  • Sheefag, DeeJay, mercedade and 1 other like this

Sent from beyond the grave using the Force.


#89702 OFFLINE   colc

colc

    Rank: Renault 16

  • Full Members
  • 4,312 posts
  • 6 thanks
  • LocationThe Garden of Ingerland..........
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted Yesterday, 05:22 PM

Lorries have been haring up and down our lane, delivering stone to the property up the hill from us..................now our water supply has been cut...............not a co-incidence, I think.............


You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish

#89703 ONLINE   Angrydicky

Angrydicky

    Rank: Lancia Gamma

  • Full Members
  • 5,010 posts
  • 11 thanks
  • LocationNorfolk/Suffolk border
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted Yesterday, 07:12 PM

It's official. The site of Shitefest Cymru is now completely ruined. Our usual music session at the hotel tonight. Barman was surly as f&ck. Wouldn't even say goodnight, and starting to hint that it might be a good idea for us to leave at 10pm. Not the first time either. Might very well be the last time though. Why on earth would I want to put money behind the bar when some of it goes to that useless muppet?

 

That place used to be the heart of the community. It's feeling pretty desolate here right now. Thankfully, a pub a short drive away has been more welcoming. 

Shame, the people that used to run it were top folks and the fella even came out in his Jeep (with various tow ropes) to try and retrieve Mike's Spitfire when he crashed it. No winch so he attempted to use a handy telegraph pole as a snatch block!!! It didn't work because the ropes kept breaking, but full marks for effort. 


Current fleet:

1935 Standard 12
1953 Austin A40 Somerset 
1958 Austin A55 Cambridge

1959 Austin A35 

1980 Vauxhall Royale 2.8 auto

1983 Ford Sierra 1.6 Base (1/5) 

1987 Austin Maestro 1.3L

1996 Renault Clio 'Nicole'
 

 

 


#89704 OFFLINE   Cavcraft

Cavcraft

    Rank: Glasses/bottles/bottles/filter tips/John Player Special no

  • Staff
  • 43,449 posts
  • 194 thanks
  • LocationMoving up on second base Behind Nicholas van whats-his-face.
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted Yesterday, 07:16 PM

You think that's bad?

A mate of mine entered a Viagra eating competition and it was going really well,


Up until he was beaten off by some stiff opposition.

 

Hard to know what you're complaining about, tbh. I swallowed a Viagra then knocked all the others on the floor. Spent a full 30 minutes on all fives looking for them.


  • ruffgeezer, myglaren, ProgRocker and 8 others like this
"As for actually admitting to liking Corsas on a public forum: you're a bollock-brained, biscuit-eating, faux-northern, bastardy, bollocky, wank-brain"

#89705 OFFLINE   mercrocker

mercrocker

    Morris Major Elite

  • Full Members
  • 8,627 posts
  • 79 thanks
  • LocationNew Forest
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted Yesterday, 07:18 PM

I can't even take them.   Had a pill phobia since childhood and can't get tablets down. 

 

 

 

 

I'd just end up with a stiff neck.....


  • Cavcraft likes this

1963 Morry Thou

1955 Cowley

1987 VW T25 Holdsworth

1990 190E

197? Portafold Caravan 

2000 Fiesta Zetec Ghia

 


#89706 ONLINE   richardmorris

richardmorris

    Rank: Lancia Gamma

  • Full Members
  • 7,610 posts
  • 42 thanks
  • LocationUK
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted Yesterday, 07:19 PM

Fucksticks. attachicon.gifIMG_20190321_104548.jpg

Keep it elevated - higher than your heart if possible.


That is lie down with your leg on a cushion or two. Not sit up with your leg round your neck!
  • Mercedes E320 coupé
  • Fiat X1/9
  • Citroën 2CV6

Thanked by 1 Member:
Amishtat

#89707 OFFLINE   strangeangel

strangeangel

    Rank: moped

  • Full Members
  • 3,287 posts
  • 23 thanks
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted Yesterday, 07:23 PM

but WTF is all the flashing people out of a side road/driveway straight  into the path of cyclists, motorcyclists, lorries et al.

 

This. A pox upon all Knights of the Road.


  • myglaren, Lacquer Peel and richardmorris like this

#89708 OFFLINE   ruffgeezer

ruffgeezer

    Rank: Renault 16

  • Full Members
  • 3,571 posts
  • 15 thanks
  • LocationLincolnshire Cuntryside
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted Yesterday, 08:10 PM

I can't even take them. Had a pill phobia since childhood and can't get tablets down.




I'd just end up with a stiff neck.....



I had a Viagra suppository once, all I got was a hard stool.
  • mercrocker and Cavcraft like this
2000 Freelander 1.8
2002 V70 D5; mega. mega miles. Mega broken.

1995 AX VTS2007 Kuga (Mrs Ruff's)
***This space available for more Chod!***
autoshite2.jpg
Autoshite Dealership Stickers £1.75 including postage, Pm me for info!

#89709 ONLINE   sierraman

sierraman

    Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

  • Full Members
  • 11,127 posts
  • 108 thanks

Posted Yesterday, 09:55 PM

"Wats ur lowest price mate"

On a car that's already a fucking steal.

Fuck off.


Why do people ask this? It ought to be some sort of law that you have your hands placed in a 10 tonne press if you are found asking or texting or whatever an absolutely fucking stupid question like ‘What’s UR lowest price?’
  • colc, Shite Knight, Cavcraft and 2 others like this

#89710 ONLINE   LightBulbFun

LightBulbFun

    Rank: Invacar Model 70

  • Full Members
  • 1,590 posts
  • 35 thanks
  • LocationLondon
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted Yesterday, 10:14 PM

image (4).png

 

:)

 

(Applicable meme is applicable)


  • colc, HillmanImp, ProgRocker and 13 others like this

#89711 OFFLINE   fairkens

fairkens

    Rank: BL Wedge

  • Full Members
  • 819 posts
  • 3 thanks
  • LocationWest Yorkshire
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted Yesterday, 11:03 PM

I had a Viagra suppository once, all I got was a hard stool.


I went to the chemist for some viagra, asked him if you could get it over the counter

He said he could if he took two
  • myglaren, Rusty_Rocket, Supernaut and 1 other like this
Erm, I've got a bit of a problem

#89712 OFFLINE   Mrcento

Mrcento

    Rank: Austin Maxi

  • Full Members
  • 497 posts
  • 4 thanks
  • LocationDundee
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted Yesterday, 11:18 PM

Why do people ask this? It ought to be some sort of law that you have your hands placed in a 10 tonne press if you are found asking or texting or whatever an absolutely fucking stupid question like ‘What’s UR lowest price?’

 

I've started replying with a price way higher than the asking price

 

"yeh but ur only asking £450 on the ad"

 

"Exactly, "Only". Ask a daft question, you'll get a daft answer".

 

Anyone that comes straight out with a "Lowest price, mate" question isn't a serious buyer anyway IMO. Even if they showed up, they'd likely just start trying to re-haggle the already haggled price that wasn't for haggling.


  • myglaren, twosmoke300, strangeangel and 1 other like this

Fiat Cinquecento Sporting 1.2 16v conversion, Land Rover Discovery 300tdi


#89713 ONLINE   sierraman

sierraman

    Rank: Talbot Matra Rancho

  • Full Members
  • 11,127 posts
  • 108 thanks

Posted Today, 06:08 AM

Maybe I’m a bit old fashioned. Car is 10 miles away so I’ll go and look at it, say it’s £800, bid him £700 and settle at £750 or whatever. Turn up and be polite, have actual money on me to pay for it, not be picking up on every minor scratch it has. Not rabbiting on chatting shit etc.

Strangely that’s not the done thing anymore. You turn up in a pack of four, conducting some sort of lost episode of Wheeler Dealers. But prior to all this you try finalising the price before you’ve even arrived. Thus providing a platform later for some aggressive bidding when you’ve found a scratch on a £300 car.
  • Angrydicky, myglaren, mercrocker and 3 others like this

#89714 OFFLINE   Mrcento

Mrcento

    Rank: Austin Maxi

  • Full Members
  • 497 posts
  • 4 thanks
  • LocationDundee
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted Today, 06:58 AM

Maybe I’m a bit old fashioned. Car is 10 miles away so I’ll go and look at it, say it’s £800, bid him £700 and settle at £750 or whatever. Turn up and be polite, have actual money on me to pay for it, not be picking up on every minor scratch it has. Not rabbiting on chatting shit etc.

Strangely that’s not the done thing anymore. You turn up in a pack of four, conducting some sort of lost episode of Wheeler Dealers. But prior to all this you try finalising the price before you’ve even arrived. Thus providing a platform later for some aggressive bidding when you’ve found a scratch on a £300 car.

 

When i sold my Ignis sport, it was pretty much like that. It was taking up my lock up and i needed it away to get the space for something else, £350.

 

A boy from Aberdeen messaged me basically saying he already had one and wanted it for parts for his, £300, he'd have it collected, cash in hand, no worries. To which i agreed.

 

Collection day arrived, his dad comes down with a low loader... "£150 yeah?"... "No, £300 was agreed", "Nah mate, he's no paying that, it's £150", "It's not going anywhere for £150 buddy, or £200, or £250, It's £300 and if i'm not getting £300, you've wasted a trip to Dundee"

 

What followed was basically an argument, I let him take it for £280 in the end but some of the parts that were going with it mysteriously fell off it in between backing it out the lockup and going on the truck and stayed in the garage, so he ended up with a worse deal than if he'd just paid the £300.


  • Angrydicky, myglaren, barefoot and 7 others like this

Fiat Cinquecento Sporting 1.2 16v conversion, Land Rover Discovery 300tdi


#89715 OFFLINE   Shite Knight

Shite Knight

    I am a member!

  • Full Members
  • 4,505 posts
  • 50 thanks
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted Today, 08:04 AM

When i sold my Ignis sport, it was pretty much like that. It was taking up my lock up and i needed it away to get the space for something else, £350.

A boy from Aberdeen messaged me basically saying he already had one and wanted it for parts for his, £300, he'd have it collected, cash in hand, no worries. To which i agreed.

Collection day arrived, his dad comes down with a low loader... "£150 yeah?"... "No, £300 was agreed", "Nah mate, he's no paying that, it's £150", "It's not going anywhere for £150 buddy, or £200, or £250, It's £300 and if i'm not getting £300, you've wasted a trip to Dundee"

What followed was basically an argument, I let him take it for £280 in the end but some of the parts that were going with it mysteriously fell off it in between backing it out the lockup and going on the truck and stayed in the garage, so he ended up with a worse deal than if he'd just paid the £300.

When I was selling a mazda 323 for £150 recently I still had loads of people asking what's the lowest I'd take until someone I'd bought a set of wheels from the previous week said they would have it for the £150 and would collect it later the next day.
When I turned up at my unit to do the deal they were already there poking at the car, there was the buyer plus 5 of his mates with two of them in a recovery truck.
I had thought it would be a straight forward transaction like when I had went to buy his wheels, I turned up, gave him the full asking price, took the wheels and fucked off, instead I got him and his mates poking at my cars, opening bonnets and the buyer comes out with "what's the lowest you'd take?"
Fuck off and die!

Sent from my G3121 using Tapatalk
  • Angrydicky, myglaren and Mrcento like this

#89716 OFFLINE   New POD

New POD

    Apologising everyday since 1990

  • Full Members
  • 7,210 posts
  • 29 thanks
  • LocationFormby - Just around the corner from MikeR
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted Today, 08:09 AM

Tell me whats the most you'd pay?

Well for that you can have the shell. the engine, and the steering wheel. But not the gearbox, brakes, or wheels.
  • myglaren, Cavcraft and clayts450 like this

#89717 OFFLINE   Shite Knight

Shite Knight

    I am a member!

  • Full Members
  • 4,505 posts
  • 50 thanks
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted Today, 08:17 AM

Maybe I’m a bit old fashioned. Car is 10 miles away so I’ll go and look at it, say it’s £800, bid him £700 and settle at £750 or whatever. Turn up and be polite, have actual money on me to pay for it, not be picking up on every minor scratch it has. Not rabbiting on chatting shit etc.

Strangely that’s not the done thing anymore. You turn up in a pack of four, conducting some sort of lost episode of Wheeler Dealers. But prior to all this you try finalising the price before you’ve even arrived. Thus providing a platform later for some aggressive bidding when you’ve found a scratch on a £300 car.

I'm the same, if I'm selling a car and someone arranges to come and see it without any of this best price/lowest offer nonsense beforehand, they turn up on time and are polite I am more likely to sell it at a lower price if they make a bid.
I find its the same when buying a car, you know that the seller has probably had loads of "best price m8" messages and will probably be incredibly frustrated with the whole ordeal so when you turn up, assess the car and make an offer you're more likely to get somewhere rather than being told to fuck right off.

Sent from my G3121 using Tapatalk
  • myglaren likes this

#89718 OFFLINE   strangeangel

strangeangel

    Rank: moped

  • Full Members
  • 3,287 posts
  • 23 thanks
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted Today, 09:48 AM

Strangely that’s not the done thing anymore. You turn up in a pack of four, conducting some sort of lost episode of Wheeler Dealers. But prior to all this you try finalising the price before you’ve even arrived. Thus providing a platform later for some aggressive bidding when you’ve found a scratch on a £300 car.

 

IME the ones who try and negotiate the price down (I use this phrase loosely) by sending messages like '200' are the ones who invariably fail to show up.

 

This place aside, the world of sub-£500 motors is replete with some of the most monumental gene pool rejects you could ever hope not to meet, and I simply can't be arsed with it anymore.


  • Cavcraft likes this

#89719 OFFLINE   Cavcraft

Cavcraft

    Rank: Glasses/bottles/bottles/filter tips/John Player Special no

  • Staff
  • 43,449 posts
  • 194 thanks
  • LocationMoving up on second base Behind Nicholas van whats-his-face.
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted Today, 10:14 AM

Usually the ones who travel the furthest are most likely to buy without pissing about. Those that decide 'no offers' doesn't apply to them are either going to pay the full price, or go home empty handed. It's only their own money they're wasting g.
  • Spiny Norman and myglaren like this
"As for actually admitting to liking Corsas on a public forum: you're a bollock-brained, biscuit-eating, faux-northern, bastardy, bollocky, wank-brain"

#89720 OFFLINE   Spiny Norman

Spiny Norman

    Rank: Renault 16

  • Full Members
  • 4,033 posts
  • 0 thanks
  • LocationCruising for burgers in daddy's new car
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted Today, 11:25 AM

When I sold mine a couple of weeks ago I got into a long drawn out email conversation with a guy about 2 miles away who turned out to be a total timewaster, on the morning he was meant to be coming to see it messaged me with the old "I've only managed to lift £xxx from the cash machine, that's all I've got" line, so I told him to FRO.

Next weekend a bloke came up from Ayr (about 40 miles), had a quick poke round and drove the thing away after a civilised bit of haggling which saw me get more for it than I was expecting.

No wonder so many old cars get scrapped when people simply aren't willing to stand in front of you and make a spirited bid on something.


  • myglaren, Cavcraft, strangeangel and 1 other like this

...and that's when I shot him, your Honour.


#89721 OFFLINE   HillmanImp

HillmanImp

    Rank: Lancia Gamma

  • Full Members
  • 7,552 posts
  • 14 thanks
  • LocationBratfurd innit
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted Today, 12:37 PM

I had the opposite problem when trying to sell a false beard for 20 Shekels. Chap just game me the full whack and didn't even haggle. Bert couldn't believe it. I ended up chucking in a gourd that was worth at least 10 to make up for it.

 

One born every minute eh?


  • Angrydicky, mercrocker, Stanky and 3 others like this
1965 Singer Chamois
1972 Triumph GT6
1987 Citroen Visa 10e
1991 Porsche 944
1998 Jaguar XJ8 Sport

#89722 OFFLINE   Lord Sterling

Lord Sterling

    Rank: Autoshite's Magic Muslim

  • Full Members
  • 7,563 posts
  • 41 thanks
  • LocationWorcestershire, Bruxelles or İstanbul, Türkiye
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted Today, 01:23 PM

Work. Work is pissing me off. Office manager trying to accuse me of not doing certain set tasks yesterday when in fact they were not actually there yesterday.
.31109980376_e6f01e6edd_o.jpg

▄▀▄▀▄█▓▒░..AUTOSHITE; bringing misery and despair to the world of motoring..░▒▓█▄▀▄▀▄

سبحان الله

AUTOSHITES CRUMBLING EXECUSHITE LEAGUE...
'02 Vauxhall Vectra SRi 2.2 130 DTi estate - ...Daily...
'03 BMW 316i SE - ...Second base/toy... :|
'97 Rover 825 Sterling auto - ...Needs; sills, radiator... :|
'95 Rover 827 Sterling auto - ...Needs; recommissioning... :(
'90 Rover 827 Sterling auto - ...Needs; engine work... :sad:
'87 Rover 825 Sterling auto - ...Needs; reccomissioning... :neutral:
'87 Rover 820E auto - ...Garaged, needs recommissioning... :mrgreen:


Hey, try not to buy anymore cars, yeah?....

#89723 OFFLINE   MikeR

MikeR

    Rank: Citroen Ami

  • Full Members
  • 1,550 posts
  • 27 thanks
  • LocationFormby
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted Today, 02:21 PM

the local council fuck wits are chasing dog owners for fixed fines for walking on unsigned  "pitches" , play areas or  not using a lead ...

 

 

living next to the farmers fields and footpaths , the dog has spiced up your spuds and carrots today !!!


Tottering Information Terminals Seriously Upset Passengers


#89724 ONLINE   Redfred

Redfred

    Rank Morris Ital

  • Full Members
  • 38 posts
  • 0 thanks
  • LocationThat bit in the middle
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted Today, 02:26 PM

Whats making me grumpy at the moment?
The shitey weather
Fuckwit boy racers in their fart boxes at stupid o’clock
Crappy mental health
And today my back went ping in spectacular fashion, it currently hurts to even breathe. Supposed to be going out for dinner tonight with some of my blokes friends but looking likely I won’t make it.

#89725 OFFLINE   colc

colc

    Rank: Renault 16

  • Full Members
  • 4,312 posts
  • 6 thanks
  • LocationThe Garden of Ingerland..........
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted Today, 02:30 PM

Why do people ask this? It ought to be some sort of law that you have your hands placed in a 10 tonne press if you are found asking or texting or whatever an absolutely fucking stupid question like ‘What’s UR lowest price?’

 

 

I wouldn't bother with hands.............


You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish

#89726 OFFLINE   Tenmil Socket

Tenmil Socket

    Rank: Austin Maxi

  • Full Members
  • 122 posts
  • 1 thanks
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted Today, 02:46 PM

You think that's bad?

A mate of mine entered a Viagra eating competition and it was going really well,


Up until he was beaten off by some stiff opposition.

 

I've heard the Viagra eye drops aren't any good. They just make you look hard...


  • myglaren, purplebargeken, mercrocker and 1 other like this

 

Originally Posted by leedsrhinos126 
talking about bodge jobs i am currently using my 125cc scooter with Sockets as front

 

wheel bearings, its scary but it works (21mm + 20mm if ur interested lol)

 


#89727 ONLINE   HarmonicCheeseburger

HarmonicCheeseburger

    Rank: Citroen Ami

  • Full Members
  • 1,589 posts
  • 15 thanks
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted Today, 03:14 PM

Work. Work is pissing me off. Office manager trying to accuse me of not doing certain set tasks yesterday when in fact they were not actually there yesterday.

Post said managers phone number on a dating website.  


  • Angrydicky and myglaren like this

1994 K11 1.0 CVT Micra - Spent way more then needed but loving it :)

 

 

 

#89728 OFFLINE   mercrocker

mercrocker

    Morris Major Elite

  • Full Members
  • 8,627 posts
  • 79 thanks
  • LocationNew Forest
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted Today, 03:39 PM

^^^This was done at a previous work-place.   Caused a fuckton of shit, not least because said manager's wife found the text messages - at a time when he was already in hooky for playing away.   (almost) felt sorry for the cunt.


  • Angrydicky, purplebargeken and stonedagain like this

1963 Morry Thou

1955 Cowley

1987 VW T25 Holdsworth

1990 190E

197? Portafold Caravan 

2000 Fiesta Zetec Ghia

 





0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users