Jump to content


Welcome to Autoshite

Welcome to Autoshite, like most online communities you must register to view or post in our community, but don't worry this is a simple free process that requires minimal information for you to signup. Be apart of Autoshite by signing in or creating an account.
  • Start new topics and reply to others
  • Subscribe to topics and forums to get automatic updates
  • Get your own profile and make new friends
  • Customize your experience here
Guest Message by DevFuse
 

Photo

The grumpy thread


  • Please log in to reply
87383 replies to this topic

#87061 OFFLINE   robinmasters

robinmasters

    Rank: Renault 16

  • Full Members
  • 2,117 posts
  • 7 thanks
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted 11 January 2019 - 07:35 PM

Parking tickets? No problemo...
 
https://www.ebay.co....5.c100752.m1982
 
https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/j~wAAOSwi...


You don't see that many Arabic chaps over here driving the sort of stuff we do.
  • Lord Sterling likes this
I used to have a signature, but now I don't.

#87062 ONLINE   Jazoli

Jazoli

    Omnipresent

  • Full Members
  • 1,865 posts
  • 21 thanks
  • LocationNear a big lake
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted 11 January 2019 - 07:36 PM

Looks like my Saab 9-3 convertible is back up for sale. Someone on here definitely * wanted it but hasn't been in touch since the 19th of December. Cheers for wasting my time fella!

 

Name and shame, its the only way twats will stop being twats on here.


  • richardthestag, Sheefag, barefoot and 3 others like this

sigs are shit, wgaf?


#87063 OFFLINE   beko1987

beko1987

    Reliable Renault

  • Full Members
  • 15,289 posts
  • 64 thanks
  • LocationThame, Oxon
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted 11 January 2019 - 07:41 PM

No fuck him, you don’t want cretins like that living round you.


No, their not made welcome! They live next door to Lenny, who is the most grumpy twat ever, the one who polices the car park and blocks people in who park in his bit of dirt... He likes me though because I service his car, so he's a handy man to know!

So their fairly quiet, and mostly just deal weed. It's great fun arriving home from work, clocking one trying to silently walk away to his car and booming a big, cheery hello how you doing as I walk past
  • myglaren, ProgRocker, Jazoli and 5 others like this
2001 Gooner2 Ph1 1.9Dci Expression (His)
2008 orl Vauxhalls r Shit Zafira 1.8 SRI 140 (Hers)

#87064 OFFLINE   myglaren

myglaren

    Rank: Renault 16

  • Full Members
  • 3,215 posts
  • 10 thanks
  • LocationWashington

Posted 11 January 2019 - 08:23 PM

Which hospital was this? MrsV8 is at Sunderland next week..

 

Would be a London one - probably St. Barts as he is conducting clinical research there.
 


Sent from beyond the grave using the Force.


#87065 OFFLINE   Parky

Parky

    I don't watch much Television

  • Full Members
  • 6,253 posts
  • 94 thanks
  • LocationBut I hear Breaking Bad is very good
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted 12 January 2019 - 11:41 AM

It’s a very sad day gentlemen. And ladies. Stop the clocks, lower the flags to half mast, and cancel all TV programming to be replaced with sombre music.

Today, I Parky, have taken the daily for its MOT and it.....has.....failed. I am ashamed. For the first time in my 11 year tenure of said Seat I have faced the humiliation of a failure sheet.

Fortunately it was because the sealing ring on the fuel filler cap had a small split in it which might have allowed fuel to leak a bit if the car was upside down. Fair enough. One replacement cap ordered for £6 and I can’t see it being a job to change considering it screws in and out when you fill it up. Other than that it was fine. Even the emissions were all bob on so it’s not all bad at all. Still a bit annoying though, I would rather he had passed it and made me promise to buy a new one ASAP, but instead it means going back later in the week to get it signed off.

£6 repair to get another years ticket isn’t so bad
  • HillmanImp, richardthestag, myglaren and 17 others like this

#87066 OFFLINE   Saabnut

Saabnut

    Rank: BL Wedge

  • Full Members
  • 675 posts
  • 36 thanks
  • LocationAberdeenshire
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted 12 January 2019 - 12:30 PM

Bah! After the dash across europe the rear brake pads are down to metal on the Saab and I am approximately 1000 miles from home! Parts in France are ££££, take ages and the store is the far side of Le Mans. Fortunately Bill at Saabits has come to the rescue and a new set are making their way down here. Of course, this is the first time I have forgotten to chuck a trolley jack in the boot so it will have to be the OE jack FFS!


  • richardthestag, purplebargeken, Hooli and 1 other like this

#87067 OFFLINE   Hooli

Hooli

    Rank Outsider

  • Full Members
  • 15,197 posts
  • 186 thanks
  • LocationThe next petrol station
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted 12 January 2019 - 01:17 PM

You mean you don't check them weekly along with oil & water like the manual suggests?


  • purplebargeken and beko1987 like this

Opinions expressed are those of this cunt, not any other cunt. They do not represent the views of those responsible for this forum.
Like any true Englishman I'm never unintentionally rude. If you're offended by this post, good as that is what was my intention.

 

Champion cunt in the cunt count 2018.


#87068 OFFLINE   purplebargeken

purplebargeken

    Someone who is developing reduced levels of patience!

  • Full Members
  • 13,739 posts
  • 53 thanks
  • LocationSatan's Shitty Toilet
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted 12 January 2019 - 01:42 PM

Reckless Saab owner, who'd have thought it.


  • beko1987 and Hooli like this

Hyundai i10 auto - white goods car shite
Triumph Toledo - 2.0 for added sleeper shite
Rover 45 Club - CVT easy gear change shite
Triumph Dolomite 1300 - unsullied shite


#87069 OFFLINE   Hooli

Hooli

    Rank Outsider

  • Full Members
  • 15,197 posts
  • 186 thanks
  • LocationThe next petrol station
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted 12 January 2019 - 01:50 PM

Saab owners forums would berate him for shoddy maintenance....


  • beko1987 and Remspoor like this

Opinions expressed are those of this cunt, not any other cunt. They do not represent the views of those responsible for this forum.
Like any true Englishman I'm never unintentionally rude. If you're offended by this post, good as that is what was my intention.

 

Champion cunt in the cunt count 2018.


#87070 OFFLINE   Saabnut

Saabnut

    Rank: BL Wedge

  • Full Members
  • 675 posts
  • 36 thanks
  • LocationAberdeenshire
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted 12 January 2019 - 02:20 PM

Saab owners forums would berate him for shoddy maintenance....

 

They would not dare! :-) Besides, I check them every time they start making odd noises.....


  • chaseracer, richardthestag, Talbot and 5 others like this

#87071 OFFLINE   anonymous user

anonymous user

    Rank: Lancia Gamma

  • Full Members
  • 5,284 posts
  • 12 thanks
  • LocationAbject Poverty
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted 12 January 2019 - 04:09 PM

They would not dare! :-) Besides, I check them every time they start making odd noises.....


What, the forums?
  • wuvvum, chaseracer, HillmanImp and 10 others like this

#87072 OFFLINE   omegod

omegod

    Rank: Renault 16

  • Full Members
  • 2,091 posts
  • 30 thanks
  • LocationLiverpool
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted 12 January 2019 - 04:47 PM

I fucking detest winter, outdoor car jobs that should take an hour end up being 4 hour twatfests 


  • Wack likes this

#87073 ONLINE   Aston Martin

Aston Martin

    Rank: Renault 16

  • Full Members
  • 2,438 posts
  • 13 thanks
  • LocationHull

Posted 12 January 2019 - 04:57 PM

I have broken every rib in my chest... ok, maybe just bruised something.

I was leaning over a brick wall to grab a bucket (too lazy to climb the steps) and bam, chest exploded.

I did the same thing before, climbing into a shipping container.
1993 Fiat Panda Parade
2016 Cactus
2006 Fiat Panda Alessi


If you're going to have a funky car, have it in a funky colour.


#87074 OFFLINE   richardmorris

richardmorris

    Rank: Lancia Gamma

  • Full Members
  • 7,235 posts
  • 36 thanks
  • LocationUK
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted 12 January 2019 - 05:03 PM

Walked out of the post office / smiths in camberley this morning after being ignored by the counter staff for several minutes. Yes it was 5 minutes to nine but they were sitting at their counter talking and I wanted to hand them a parcel with the correct postage on it for their bag.
We don’t open till nine.
I’d just like you to put it in the bag please.
We don’t open till nine.
Can I just hand you the box?
You’ll have to weigh it to pay the postage.
I’ve done that, but ok, and put it on the scales.
Nothing, and start chatting to themselves again.
We can’t do anything, see if my colleague round try corner can help ( pre pay box things).

At which point I said I’d try a post office and walked out- it was by then after 9 anyway. Last time I went to camberley they overcharged me too, so won’t be going back.
The one local to work is open 6am to 10pm in a spa - although they too have lost a packet of ours -we had an unpaid post card so put £2 of stamps on ten days ago sent it back, and that’s the last we’ve heard of it.
  • Mercedes E320 coupé
  • Fiat X1/9
  • Citroën 2CV6

#87075 OFFLINE   richardmorris

richardmorris

    Rank: Lancia Gamma

  • Full Members
  • 7,235 posts
  • 36 thanks
  • LocationUK
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted 12 January 2019 - 05:05 PM

I have broken every rib in my chest... ok, maybe just bruised something.
I was leaning over a brick wall to grab a bucket (too lazy to climb the steps) and bam, chest exploded.
I did the same thing before, climbing into a shipping container.



You could spend hours in casualty but I don’t think they do anything apart from bandage you up even if you manage to get an X-ray ( what my ex radiographer mum says anyway). Take it easy!
  • Mercedes E320 coupé
  • Fiat X1/9
  • Citroën 2CV6

#87076 ONLINE   Aston Martin

Aston Martin

    Rank: Renault 16

  • Full Members
  • 2,438 posts
  • 13 thanks
  • LocationHull

Posted 12 January 2019 - 05:07 PM

You could spend hours in casualty but I don’t think they do anything apart from bandage you up even if you manage to get an X-ray ( what my ex radiographer mum says anyway). Take it easy!



Nothings broken or cracked, think it's just bruised a muscle or something.
  • richardmorris likes this
1993 Fiat Panda Parade
2016 Cactus
2006 Fiat Panda Alessi


If you're going to have a funky car, have it in a funky colour.


#87077 OFFLINE   Talbot

Talbot

    Express

  • Full Members
  • 1,765 posts
  • 49 thanks
  • Locationdowel.
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted 12 January 2019 - 05:10 PM

Bah! After the dash across europe the rear brake pads are down to metal on the Saab and I am approximately 1000 miles from home!


Actually down to the metal, or is it just the wear lip on the disc touching, and there's actually a thin smear of friction material left? If so, good enough for another thousand miles with careful lack of braking? I would.
  • purplebargeken and Christine like this
Current fleet:  Mercedes.  Xantia.  Berlingo.  Discovery.  Forward Control.  Nova. Historic shite.

#87078 OFFLINE   richardmorris

richardmorris

    Rank: Lancia Gamma

  • Full Members
  • 7,235 posts
  • 36 thanks
  • LocationUK
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted 12 January 2019 - 05:45 PM

Hey try not braking- did this in the fiat the other year when a flexi hose collapsed and braking led to non-intentional lane changes. Only had to do a couple of hundred miles though.
  • Mercedes E320 coupé
  • Fiat X1/9
  • Citroën 2CV6

#87079 OFFLINE   John F

John F

    Rank: Ginger Spice

  • Full Members
  • 7,415 posts
  • 58 thanks
  • LocationYr Hen Ogledd
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted 12 January 2019 - 06:45 PM

Saabnut, on 12 Jan 2019 - 12:30 PM, said:

Bah! After the dash across europe the rear brake pads are down to metal on the Saab and I am approximately 1000 miles from home! Parts in France are ££££, take ages and the store is the far side of Le Mans. Fortunately Bill at Saabits has come to the rescue and a new set are making their way down here. Of course, this is the first time I have forgotten to chuck a trolley jack in the boot so it will have to be the OE jack FFS!

 

This really isn't a problem in the Internet age (unless B****t fucks things up, obviously) - my old Disco 300 TDi shat a front propshaft UJ on the way to Innsbruck a couple of years ago, I got a new propshaft complete with UJs delivered from Paddocks to our hotel within 2 days for £80 all-in.

 

The new shaft was fitted within 20 mins once I'd found somewhere that stocked 9/16" spanners, because like a tit I'd only packed my Metric spanner roll and didn't want to risk rounding off the nuts with a 14 mm.


  • I_am_Diesel, purplebargeken, Rusty_Rocket and 1 other like this

Never knowingly under-ambitious

 

'99 Land Rover Discovery ES V8

'94 Vauxhall Calibra V6
'91 Maserati 222 SE

'88 Yamaha XJ900F

'86 Honda CBX 750F
'82 Suzuki GSX1100SZ Katana


#87080 OFFLINE   wuvvum

wuvvum

    Rank: Talbot Tagora

  • Full Members
  • 13,022 posts
  • 40 thanks

Posted 12 January 2019 - 06:50 PM

The one local to work is open 6am to 10pm in a spa - although they too have lost a packet of ours -we had an unpaid post card so put £2 of stamps on ten days ago sent it back, and that’s the last we’ve heard of it.

You haven't annoyed Sheefag recently, have you?


  • Pillock, Parky, Sheefag and 5 others like this

#87081 ONLINE   Aston Martin

Aston Martin

    Rank: Renault 16

  • Full Members
  • 2,438 posts
  • 13 thanks
  • LocationHull

Posted 12 January 2019 - 07:04 PM

The Cactus rear view camera turns off above 8 MPH, I had to turn my head like a peasant.
  • purplebargeken and Wack like this
1993 Fiat Panda Parade
2016 Cactus
2006 Fiat Panda Alessi


If you're going to have a funky car, have it in a funky colour.


#87082 OFFLINE   catsinthewelder

catsinthewelder

    Rank: Renault 16

  • Full Members
  • 4,008 posts
  • 28 thanks
  • LocationLudlow

Posted 12 January 2019 - 07:40 PM

Is that 8mph forwards or backwards?


95 Rover 220SLi

94 Peugeot 405 Estate
93 Land Rover Discovery 200TDI

90 Dacia 1310


#87083 ONLINE   Aston Martin

Aston Martin

    Rank: Renault 16

  • Full Members
  • 2,438 posts
  • 13 thanks
  • LocationHull

Posted 12 January 2019 - 07:43 PM

Is that 8mph forwards or backwards?


Backwards.
  • oldcars likes this
1993 Fiat Panda Parade
2016 Cactus
2006 Fiat Panda Alessi


If you're going to have a funky car, have it in a funky colour.


#87084 OFFLINE   Saabnut

Saabnut

    Rank: BL Wedge

  • Full Members
  • 675 posts
  • 36 thanks
  • LocationAberdeenshire
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted 13 January 2019 - 08:57 AM

Actually down to the metal, or is it just the wear lip on the disc touching, and there's actually a thin smear of friction material left? If so, good enough for another thousand miles with careful lack of braking? I would.

 

Sadly down to the metal and attacking the disc that was fitted last pad change, and it is an auto which does not help with avoiding braking. New set on their way, hopefully here between Weds and Fri


  • BorniteIdentity likes this

#87085 OFFLINE   Exiled_Tat_Gatherer

Exiled_Tat_Gatherer

    Fly in the ointment

  • Full Members
  • 1,140 posts
  • 33 thanks
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted 13 January 2019 - 02:26 PM

Saabnut - I have munchkin this week so can't troll down on an evening. But if you're ok for Fri pm I can be down there late with a trolley jack, axle stands and anything else yo may need. Don't know if that's any help or not. Feel free to PM me your address if you want a next to useless extra pair of hands.
You're only about 5 hrs away from me - so not a big deal really.
  • myglaren, Sheefag, Saabnut and 4 others like this

Thanked by 1 Member:
Saabnut

#87086 OFFLINE   Exiled_Tat_Gatherer

Exiled_Tat_Gatherer

    Fly in the ointment

  • Full Members
  • 1,140 posts
  • 33 thanks
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted 13 January 2019 - 02:31 PM

I came to grump - had the MR2 stuck on grass for 20mins earlier. Some utter cunt decided overtaking a slowing bus on the approach to a roundabout meant oncoming mugs like me should just get the f**k out of the way. Nowhere to go but the grass median - of course a ruddy great mound of a thing.
Luckily it weighs the square root of a gnats chuff so I pushed it off the central hump - but the 'wrong' side and the massive ruts I'd created made it a total ball ache to get back onto the road.
Bus driver helped a bit - have to get it into the garage later and see what I've done to the suspension and bottom...... FUCKIT!

#87087 OFFLINE   dozeydustman

dozeydustman

    Grange Hill's Sausage on a fork

  • Full Members
  • 2,806 posts
  • 41 thanks
  • LocationSomewhere being your friend, Row-land
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted 13 January 2019 - 02:35 PM

I thought I was getting over my lurgy having spent the best part of the last 4 days asleep & waking up at a normal time this morning. Throat is no longer sore, snots going etc.

 

Still can't keep food or non-water drink down. I've not eaten since breakfast on Wednesday.

 

Fuck.


Dream shite.

Talbot Sunbeam - Shove-it - Viva HC - Samba - Triumph Dolly - Triumph 2000 - Avenger - Pug 205 with a suitcase engine - AEC Mammoth Major - Hillman Hunter - Allegro - another Simca would be nice as well - Pug 309 with a Poissy engine - Routemaster


#87088 OFFLINE   Saabnut

Saabnut

    Rank: BL Wedge

  • Full Members
  • 675 posts
  • 36 thanks
  • LocationAberdeenshire
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted 13 January 2019 - 02:42 PM

Saabnut - I have munchkin this week so can't troll down on an evening. But if you're ok for Fri pm I can be down there late with a trolley jack, axle stands and anything else yo may need. Don't know if that's any help or not. Feel free to PM me your address if you want a next to useless extra pair of hands.
You're only about 5 hrs away from me - so not a big deal really.

 

That is really, really kind of you. I hope it will not be required, I am sure* the OE jack will be in the car, I have a basic tool kit here, and it is only a set of brake pads. I can always make Bucketeer earn his keep if I need a hand, but will keep you in mind if it all goes tits up. Thanks again.


  • purplebargeken and Exiled_Tat_Gatherer like this

#87089 OFFLINE   bub2006

bub2006

    Rank: Isuzu Florian

  • Full Members
  • 9,165 posts
  • 29 thanks
  • Locationderbyshire

Posted 13 January 2019 - 04:05 PM

Another thread locked and deleted. I don't know why as so much can happen in here in 5 minutes. Either way another interesting post to the dogs.
  • John F likes this

#87090 OFFLINE   omegod

omegod

    Rank: Renault 16

  • Full Members
  • 2,091 posts
  • 30 thanks
  • LocationLiverpool
  • Country : Country Flag

Posted 13 January 2019 - 04:05 PM

Ok so replaced the rear axle on my copart focus with some precision jacking, all boltholes line up and it is loosely screwed in but can I fuck get the trailing arms to line up with their bolt holes, I've had this before but can't remember how I did it , maybe bolt the trailing arms in first ......grumble grumble 






1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users