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Roffle

Mighty AX, steed of rambunctiousness for Sale. NOW A ROFFLE

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69 replies to this topic

#61 OFFLINE   Datsuncog

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Posted 12 September 2018 - 03:06 PM

Anyway, it’s all beside the point. This roffle needs to be postponed until the 22nd. KTHXBAI

 

Well, roffles being roffles and people being people (especially roffles where a ticket costs more than a bag of moderately poncey crisps), I think it's fair to predict that this one will stretch out for a week or two more, gathering a few more rofflees here and there, before there's a critical mass of tickets allocated and suddenly it all gets a bit exciting regarding the last few numbers...

 

as riot.png

 

I believe eminent mathematicians refer to this as The Roffleslide Effect when conducting statistical analyses, expressed as:

 

R = (t x a)  x (n x y)

            d

where:

  • is the number of tickets left, 
  • a is the perceived Autoshite desirability rating of the vehicle in question, on a scale of 0 (PT Cruiser) to 100 (Rancho towing a Tagora filled with back-issues of Jalopy magazine and square sausage);
  • d is the distance of the vehicle from Leicester town hall, in miles;
  • n is the face value of the ticket, and
  • y is the perceived number of days before the draw is likely to take place,

 

Once the R-value falls to below 1000, a Roffleslide may well occur.

 

The current R-value of this roffle is rated at 2514.82 (to two decimal places), assuming an Autoshite Desirability Rating (ADR) of 60, and a leisurely fortnight before drawing, so ticket sales will accordingly be slow at this point. 

 

Conversely, the R-value of the recent Mazda 323p roffle was 827 at its inception, hence it selling out very quickly.

 

By my calculations*, once this roffle passes 44 tickets sales on either a Tuesday or a Saturday evening, then a Roffleslide is likely to occur.

 

So if you do fancy your luck with a ticket or two (and I must say, sir, an AX would match your Xantia very nicely, very nicely indeed) I'd hazard that the call for payment and the draw itself are likely to be after the 22nd, rather than before... so it's all much of a muchness, and I can certainly pencil your name in against a ticket of choice if you want to tip me the wink...

 

 

* Please note: I am not a mathematician and this is all utter bollocks, I was thrown into the lower-stream maths class at GCSE because apparently I was that useless. But if anyone wants to develop this into a workable formula, be my guest.


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#62 OFFLINE   Datsuncog

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Posted 13 September 2018 - 11:16 AM

Well kids, ready for some more AX-related trivia?

 

Heuliez proposed this rather snazzy AX Évasion concept back in 1988...

 

Citroen AX Evasion sketch.jpg

 

Several of which were built and appear to have survived.

 

Citroen AX Evasion - Heuliez prototype 3.jpg

 

Citroen AX Evasion - Heuliez prototype.jpg

 

1988 Citroen AX Évasion Concept - press photo.jpg

 

Can anyone else see a hint of ZX estate in this one?

 

Seemingly Citroen decided to pass on it, while Heuliez declined to develop it further, leaving it as an intriguingly early harbinger of the later Citroen Berlingo/ Renault Kangoo/ Toyota Yaris Verso mini-people-carrier sector.

 

I'd drive one.

 

Not quite as show stopping as some of Heuliez' other Citroen coachbuilds, mind...

 

Citroen CX Roadrunner.jpg

 

But probably more aesthetically pleasing than Citroen's putative Espace competitor, the somewhat gawky BX Monospace.

 

Citroen BX Monospace prototype - Heuliez.jpg

 

Ah, the chod that might have been...

 

 

So, anyone else for a ticket or two on this one? If you're not in, ya can't win...

 

Citroen AX Elation 2.jpg


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#63 OFFLINE   binhoker668

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Posted 13 September 2018 - 12:30 PM

I’m up for a couple of tickets, but payday is the 21st. So....um....if that works....
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1986 Austin Montego (Exec)
1988 Fiat Uno
1986 Volvo 340 DL
1991 Ford Escort 1.6
1993 Ford Transit (Smiley)
1992 Peugeot 205 1.1
1994 Fiat Punto
2000 Ford Transit (Smiley)
1987 Mazda 323 GL
1994 Peugeot 405 GLX
1995 Peugeot 405 GLX
1997 Citroen Xantia 1.9 TD SX

1997 Citroen Synergie 1.9 TD SX

2000 VW Golf GT TDi (PD 115)

2004 Seat Toledo II TDi (PD130)

2001 Citroen Xantia 2.0 HDi Forte


#64 OFFLINE   Datsuncog

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Posted 14 September 2018 - 12:16 AM

I’m up for a couple of tickets, but payday is the 21st. So....um....if that works....

 

Yaaay! I'd reckon we can get that to work okay - 'tis only a week away.

 

I'd be mega-surprised if all tickets were to go and the payment call went out before then, especially since Tomtation's still away sunning himself in the AX's homeland and I'm allegedly running this Donald Duck operation.

 

Have you a set of preferred lucky numbers, or shall I random you up?



#65 OFFLINE   binhoker668

binhoker668

    Wise up wee lad.

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Posted 14 September 2018 - 06:39 AM

Randoms indeed Sir.
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1986 Austin Montego (Exec)
1988 Fiat Uno
1986 Volvo 340 DL
1991 Ford Escort 1.6
1993 Ford Transit (Smiley)
1992 Peugeot 205 1.1
1994 Fiat Punto
2000 Ford Transit (Smiley)
1987 Mazda 323 GL
1994 Peugeot 405 GLX
1995 Peugeot 405 GLX
1997 Citroen Xantia 1.9 TD SX

1997 Citroen Synergie 1.9 TD SX

2000 VW Golf GT TDi (PD 115)

2004 Seat Toledo II TDi (PD130)

2001 Citroen Xantia 2.0 HDi Forte


#66 OFFLINE   Datsuncog

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Posted 14 September 2018 - 07:39 AM

No bother... just for you, dude!

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4. Andy F
5.
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7. sickboy
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9. retropnaed
10. binhoker668
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21. yes ou si
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45. Alanism
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47. retropnaed
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51. yes ou si
52.
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54. pandamonium
55.
56.
57. prepace
58.
59.

 

Fifteen down, 44 to go!


Rollcall of shite:

1980 Ford Cortina 1.6 L (1997); 1976 Mini Clubman 1.0 (1997); 1973 Vauxhall Viva HC 1.3 (1997-2005); 1984 Datsun Sunny B11 1.5 Coupé (1999-2000); 1983 Datsun Sunny B11 1.5 Coupé (2000); 1986 Ford Fiesta 1.1 Ghia (2001-2003); 1996 Ford Escort 1.6 LX (2003-2008); 1985 Toyota Corona 2.4 Avante (2005-2006); 1981 Ford Cortina 2.0 GL Estate (2008-2010); 1993 Volkswagen Polo 1.0 Genesis (2010); 1996 Citroen XM 2.5TD VSX Estate (2010-2011); 1988 Volvo 240 2.0 GL Estate (2011-2012); 2004 Alfa Romeo 156 1.9JTD Veloce (2012-2014); 1993 Volkswagen Polo 1.0 Fox (2013-2014); 1996 Renault Laguna 1.8 RN (2014 - 2018); 1997 Renault Laguna 2.0 RT Sport (2015-2017); 1998 Renault Laguna 1.8 RT Sport (2017 - 2018); 2003 Subaru Forester 2.0 XT (2018 - present)

 

822434.png 836445.png


#67 OFFLINE   Datsuncog

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Posted 14 September 2018 - 01:52 PM

Friday's AX of the day:

 

Citroen AX Dangel 4x4.jpg

 

That's right, it's Citroen's little-known challenger to the all-slaying beast that was the Fiat Panda 4x4 in the highly competitive vignoble market - the Citroen AX 4x4, with off-road capabilities supplied by notable gallic OLLI-fiddlers, Dangel.

 

citroeen_ax_4x4_img_27952.jpg

 

Only produced for a scant two years ('92-'94) and never sold outside mainland Europe, the little Cit came fitted with the TU3 motor adapted with a transfer box running out the back of the gearbox.

 

Fairly agricultural in temperament, reports suggest that the AX 4x4 was somewhat fragile in daily use down on la ferme, and tended to revert to 4x2 or 4x0 status with alarming regularity, when anything above 50lbs/ft was demanded of it.

 

Surviving examples apparently became sought after in Europe as a cheap motorsport car, with a claimed 300bhp available on tap when fully fettled.

 

As a WBOD, one of these would surely have no equal... and they are out there.

 

https://www.reezocar...oen-ax 4x4.html

 

 

This daily update on the Joy of AX was brought to you by Datsuncog Trivia Ltd, a wholly independent subsidiary of Tomtation Roffle Enterprises Inc.


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#68 OFFLINE   Datsuncog

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Posted 17 September 2018 - 02:26 PM

MOAR fascinating* AX phacts for you all...

 

You may recall in a previous post, my cursory lunchtime Google browsing extensive and exhaustive research had uncovered the popularity of the AX 4x4 as a cheap-thrills motorsport chariot for continentals?

 

Well, it seems that you don't necessarily need AWD to be a total slayer in an AX.

 

I was unaware that the AX, in 2wd Sport and GTi guises, pretty much owned its class in the sub-1400cc FIA European Rallycross Championship category, taking a stonking seven Championship titles between 1993 and 2001. Only the Peugeot 205 (and later 106) Rallye could come near it.

 

Citroen AX results FIA Rallycross 1993-2002.png

 

Left hooker only, and running the TU24 motor with twin Solex carbs (as apparently Webers were too tall for the engine bay), the Sport was the no-frills, stripped down version of the GTi but with a unique head and gearbox ratios, giving the tweaked 1.3 motor a fairly credible 0-60 time of 8.8 seconds - the same as the fabled 1.6 version of the 205 GTi. Not bad going.

 

Citroen AX Sport - rally.jpg

 

So there we go. Proof positive that these cars are all about WIN.

 

I am going to convince you 'orrible lot that you NEED an AX in your life.

 

And therefore your best and cheapest way of gaining access to the non-stop merry-go-round of thrills and laughter that is mini-Cit ownership, is through the simple expediency of buying a handful of roffletickets for this 'ere transport of delight. Just tip me the wink, ladies and gentlemen, and I can make the magic happen.

 

Paul-Daniels--1981.jpg

 

Because you know what inevitably happens - suddenly one day all the good ones are whiteroomed for OMG MEGABUCKZ, the way Novas and Fiestas went overnight, while the bad ones are still inexplicably ££££ for a bundle of total scrap. And that's that.

 

Be in for the win while these little gallic go-karts are still to be found in the Roffle section - rather than divided between the 'Ebay Bargains* ' and 'Fuck me, just scrap it' threads.

 

You know it makes sense.


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#69 OFFLINE   Tomtation

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Posted Yesterday, 09:06 AM

Hello ladies and gentlemens, I am now back from my adventures in the land of cheese and wine.

 

The first two days was a bit like

winecheese.jpg

 

The following were a bit more like

tired meme.jpg

 

We Stayed over in Orleans to break the driving slog south, had a really nice meal out with more wine than is sensible for a 6 hour drive the following day, did I mention I like wine? Anyway we passed a noisy and rammed bar on the way back to the hotel with feather boas everywhere and waiters dressed as the actual fucking village people (as in YMCA song), naturally I made a beeline for such an establishment. The main waiter was a man in a dress = win, he was very charismatic :). We managed to persuade our friend Patrick to pose with said dressed man, just because. We almost absconded with the hat too but failed at the last minute, which was a shame as it was a nice hat.

 

patrick boy dress photo.jpg

 

There was depressingly small amounts of cheese and wine consumed this time as we were on a 'walking holiday'. We started our epic journey along the most famous route that no-one has ever heard of - Le GR3 (Grand Randonée number 3), this fabled route traces the river Loire, starts a decent way south (between Marseille and Lyon) and ends up finishing around Nantes on the west coast. We chose the 3 because when we get futher north and west there are vineyards all over the place = awesome.

 

hiking-paths-france.jpg

 

We started off in a beatiful volcanic national park region, which unfortunately had a fuckton of river valleys (not quite sea level, but almost) strewn throughout a plateau some 1000-1600 meters above sea level = many hills to climb. I mentioned it traced the loire - we almost never saw it! Started at Mt Jerbier de Jonc (where there are 3 different sources of the river Loire) and finished up in Retournac, which was about 130k along the GR3 with 4.5 days of walking, as it was a reccy walk and it was cunting hot (so the pace was doggedly slow at times) I think that's acceptable for our initial reccy.

 

There was some of this.

hike meme.jpg

 

There was unfortunately none of this

8-ever-had-sex-while-camping.jpg

 

Because of the ruralness of the location I never had any signal or data etc, and we were camping too so my phone died in day 3 and I just left it in my bag. This means no chodtastic pictures i'm afriad, which I was less concerned about as we hardly saw any chod! A brief summary of what I saw:

 

-A few manky Renault 5's that ALL ran terribly (like blue smoke, missfire/stall etc)

-A peugeot 309 that stalled at every junction we followed it to

-Many, mostly tidy MK1 clio's

-Really lots of MK1 Laguna's too, in all states of condition

-MK1 Twingo's everywhere in the towns/cities (but almost none rurally) and most noatble one on the peagé that overtook us when we were doing 90mph!

-An ironically tidy opel Zafira with a numberplate ending WOB (tried and failed to photo this - was very awesome!)

-ONLY saw 3 BX's! Which I was mucho dissappointed anout as I am a proper BX licker...

-Quite a rew AX's, most of which were totally fucked, and parked extremley* well* in the various towns/cities we passed through.

 

Right now onto the actual point of this thread - getting them roffle tickets sold! I've caught up and read through the thread and all I can say is how amazingly impressed I am with the efforts of Sir Datsuncog (for this is how he should be addressed in reflection of rofflage efforts!). In honour of all the most wonderful, impactful and insightful information supplied to ensure we are all as enlighteneed as possible going into the roffle, I think the remaining tickets should be bought. Trés logique, non?

 

Of course if anyone wants to buy it outright - that is also fine.


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Mon Voitures:

 

1985 Citroen BX19 GT (Super comfy amazing wonderful cruising machine)

1995 Citroen AX 1.0i Elation (In town around town and about town car)

2012 Kia Venga 2 1.4 CRDI (remapped for reduction of boringness)


#70 OFFLINE   Datsuncog

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Posted Today, 02:33 PM

AX TRIVIA OF THE DAY:

 

 

Did you know.png

 

... that the S9 Project that became the Citroen AX was conceived as a direct replacement for the Talbot Samba? 

 

That's right, the AX was originally intended to be sold with Talbot badges, in addition to the Citroen double-chevron.

 

Talbot-AX-1.jpg

 

Talbot-AX-2.jpg

 

Instigated in 1983, with the design brief requiring a car to replace both the shared-platform Samba and Citroen LNA (as a 3-dr) as well as the larger Visa (in 5-dr format), PSA supremos decided by 1985 that the Talbot marque should be discontinued for passenger cars.

 

So the Talbot 'AX' was canned - along with last-minute changes to the C28 Project, the Talbot Horizon replacement already nearing completion in Ryton and under the name 'Arizona'.

 

Talbot Arizona - French press article.jpg

 

talbotarizona1.jpg

 

The Arizona appeared on sale in early 1986 as the Horizon's replacement, but wearing Peugeot 309 tags - supposedly much to the annoyance of PSA's Ryton plant staff and management, who felt that Talbot was the 'British' arm of PSA, and others who saw this as a further nail in the coffin of the British car industry.

 

Talbot Arizona - UK press article.jpg

 

Accordingly, later in 1986 the AX was launched in mainland Europe wearing Citroen badges only.

 

With the killing-off of the Alpine and Solara that same year, the only way into a new Talbot was by stepping up into a van cabin.

 

So you could conceivably argue, while tootling around in your amazing roffletastic AX Elation, that you are in fact piloting the last-ever Talbot.

 

Imagine That 2.jpg

 

 

Did you also know?

 

There are still a fair few tickets left for this  - so if you've no luck in securing some for Cavcraft's rapidly-selling-out Pug 107 roffle, then why the merry hell aren't you buying some for this here yoke?

 

Okay, it's somewhat less yellow, but the wheeltrims are better.

 

[ducks]







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    Andy F