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Roffle

Mighty AX ROFFLING at £11 a go. Pull your socks up in preparation for the Big Wheel Trim Reveal this week!! (or maybe next week)

Roffle

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#31 OFFLINE   retropnaed

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Posted 05 September 2018 - 01:16 PM

2 of your finest roffle numbers please sir 


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#32 OFFLINE   Datsuncog

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Posted 05 September 2018 - 01:42 PM

2 of your finest roffle numbers please sir 

 

Boom! Done! Thanking you squire!

 

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#33 OFFLINE   prepace

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Posted 05 September 2018 - 05:52 PM

2 of those lucky dip style numbers for me please.
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‘04 Alfa 147 2.0
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#34 OFFLINE   yes oui si

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Posted 05 September 2018 - 05:54 PM

Two randoms pls
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ebehyh.png
Top grammar tips!

Bought = purchased. Brought = relocated
Lose = misplace/opposite of win. Loose = your mum


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#35 OFFLINE   Datsuncog

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Posted 05 September 2018 - 06:01 PM

Yeehaw! We're rollin' now!

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#36 OFFLINE   Partridge

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Posted 05 September 2018 - 07:06 PM

Lovely - but those wheel trims need launching into the sea.

GLWTS ;)

Agreed. It really needs some disgusting after market items from a caravaning shop to complete the 90's bog spec rancidness.

 

(That's a compliment, by the way)


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#37 OFFLINE   UltraWomble

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Posted 05 September 2018 - 07:30 PM

 It really needs some disgusting after market items from a caravaning shop to complete the 90's bog spec rancidness.

Or painting white

]27602065058_de6f8cb392_c.jpg


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#38 OFFLINE   Datsuncog

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Posted 06 September 2018 - 10:21 AM

So to all those forum folks whose lucky numbers proved slightly defective for the Volvo and Mazda roffledraws last night - here's your chance to turn that frown upside down!

 

Okay, so this particular AX hasn't yet acquired the fine patination* of Bucketeer's late example, but give it some more time and that lacquer will start peeling off a treat. Hey, they always do.

 

Leaving the OMG Wheeltrim Controversy to one side, this really does look a fine example of the breed and should do someone a star turn as an economical little gigglebox.

 

My wantage levels are high, even though my capacity to absorb further vehicles into the fleet is low. Also, AXs sadly fall into MrsDC's hit list of 'vehicles she can't abide', along with MGBs and VWs in general. Which means that I can certainly buy one, but any FTPs and other problems will be met with thinly-disguised fire and fury...

 

 

For the love of Pete, someone please buy some more tickets for this before my will breaks and I'm faced with the prospect of somehow surreptitiously retrieving it from Somerset and then hiding it under the bed. Which will be challenging on both counts.


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#39 OFFLINE   Andy F

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Posted 06 September 2018 - 10:37 AM

I adored my AXs and am yet to successfully give a stranger off the internet any money in roffle form yet.

 

Two randoms please


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#40 OFFLINE   Datsuncog

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Posted 06 September 2018 - 10:59 AM

I adored my AXs and am yet to successfully give a stranger off the internet any money in roffle form yet.

 

Two randoms please

 

Bang! Two randoms are indeed yours.

 

By-the-bye, ancient lore and tradition states that if you write your roffle numbers onto a scrap of calf vellum at midnight by the light of a full moon, using a half-and-half mixture of weasel blood and used 20/50 multigrade, then sew the parchment into a pig's bladder along with a long-stale Feu Orange air freshener using a silver needle, and go to sleep with the whole lot under your pillow for seven consecutive nights, all your wildest roffledreams will then come true and a lump of gently disintegrating chod will soon magically appear at your doorstep.

 

Substitute the motor oil for LHM if the roffleprize is a Citroen, and K-Seal if it's a Rover.

 

I'm given to understand that The Moog regularly uses this technique to great effect.

 

Just sayin'.

 

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#41 OFFLINE   The Moog

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Posted 06 September 2018 - 11:26 AM

Nah I just buy loads of tickets - so do that if you want to win!
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#42 OFFLINE   Tomtation

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Posted 06 September 2018 - 11:30 AM

Sir Datsuncog, you are the Rofflemeister! Such eloquent persuasiveness to buy tickets. If I didn't already own it I might just be tempted to buy a couple.

 

I am now off to the land of wine and cheese, i'll check in with a helpful* comment or two as and when I can but leave you all in the very capable hands of Datsuncog. I believe the phrase is chodspeed chaps?


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Mon Voitures:

 

1985 Citroen BX19 GT (Super comfy amazing wonderful cruising machine)

1995 Citroen AX 1.0i Elation (In town around town and about town car)

2012 Kia Venga 2 1.4 CRDI (remapped for reduction of boringness)


#43 OFFLINE   Datsuncog

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Posted 06 September 2018 - 11:41 AM

Nah I just buy loads of tickets - so do that if you want to win!

 

That's your explanation, and you're sticking to it. Fair enough so! ;)

 

Up next: Eddyramrod and his amazing lucky Y-fronts.

 

 

EDIT: Sorry, how many tickets d'you want for this here draw?

 

:mrgreen:  :mrgreen: :mrgreen:  



#44 OFFLINE   Datsuncog

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Posted 06 September 2018 - 11:57 AM

Sir Datsuncog, you are the Rofflemeister! Such eloquent persuasiveness to buy tickets. If I didn't already own it I might just be tempted to buy a couple.

 

I am now off to the land of wine and cheese, i'll check in with a helpful* comment or two as and when I can but leave you all in the very capable hands of Datsuncog. I believe the phrase is chodspeed chaps?

 

Hey hey, have a cracking time en France - and be sure to keep an eye out for owt chod-worthy you might pass on the way.

 

Here's hoping you're back in a few weeks laden with Camembert and Bordeaux, to find a full roffleboard and some promised spondulicks ripe for the collecting!

 

I'll keep spruiking and panhandling at this end like a low-rent Charles Saatchi, and I'm sure this thread will be **absolutely fine** in your absence...

 

Community Chaos.gif

^^^Tomtation, 20th September

 

Chodspeed, indeed!


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#45 OFFLINE   The Moog

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Posted 06 September 2018 - 12:40 PM

 

 

EDIT: Sorry, how many tickets d'you want for this here draw?

 

:mrgreen:  :mrgreen: :mrgreen:  

 

In no reflection on the car - unless it is something I really want then £11 is out of my roffle range (yes I know it doesnt make sense) 


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#46 OFFLINE   Datsuncog

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Posted 06 September 2018 - 12:49 PM

In no reflection on the car - unless it is something I really want then £11 is out of my roffle range (yes I know it doesnt make sense) 

 

Heh, fully understand and I do but jest!

 

My limited roffle history is also solely for cars that I really would want to own and keep (and therefore worth the hassle of retrieval from The Mainland), or else for random shitters that are very very cheap and so I don't mind palming it off on someone else if my number comes up - the recent MGF roffle being a noble exception for a good cause.

 

Trouble is, I've kind of had a hankering for an AX ever since my last Polo pushed its luck too far, and this one does look a bit tasty... I can see prices for decent examples of these baby Citroens starting to climb before too very long, and don't want to be kicking myself for missing the boat... hnnng.



#47 OFFLINE   Alanism

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Posted 06 September 2018 - 01:12 PM

45 and 13 please.


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Saab 9-5 Estate

Ducati S4


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#48 OFFLINE   Datsuncog

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Posted 06 September 2018 - 01:21 PM

45 and 13 please.

 

Duly allocated, chief! Best of luck!

 

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Y'know what, I'm going to stick myself down for a ticket and all. Clearly I don't have enough grief going on at the minute, and require the worrisome prospect of a needless overseas journey and all manner of ongoing domestic strife to make me happy with my lot.

 

That's 20% of the tickets now snapped up in a little over 24hrs, so I think this one might be selling out sooner rather than later... if you can envisage this cheeky little Cit in your life, then don't delay - roffle today!


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#49 OFFLINE   Andy F

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Posted 08 September 2018 - 08:31 AM

Bang! Two randoms are indeed yours.

By-the-bye, ancient lore and tradition states that if you write your roffle numbers onto a scrap of calf vellum at midnight by the light of a full moon, using a half-and-half mixture of weasel blood and used 20/50 multigrade, then sew the parchment into a pig's bladder along with a long-stale Feu Orange air freshener using a silver needle, and go to sleep with the whole lot under your pillow for seven consecutive nights, all your wildest roffledreams will then come true and a lump of gently disintegrating chod will soon magically appear at your doorstep.

Substitute the motor oil for LHM if the roffleprize is a Citroen, and K-Seal if it's a Rover.

I'm given to understand that The Moog regularly uses this technique to great effect.

.


I gave this a go last night, but realised I should have waited until the roffle was ready about to be drawn. I hate wasting 20/50 but at least I have plenty of weasel blood left over.

Oh well, worth it for a bump
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Citroen Xantia HDi Exclusive

Citroen Xantia HDi LX

Citroen Xsara Picasso

Citroen Xsara Picasso

Yes I like Matching pairs

VW T25 Autohomes camper 1.9 WBX

Needs a friend


#50 OFFLINE   Datsuncog

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Posted 08 September 2018 - 12:43 PM

I gave this a go last night, but realised I should have waited until the roffle was ready about to be drawn. I hate wasting 20/50 but at least I have plenty of weasel blood left over.

 

Ah - a schoolboy error. Never fear, we've all done it!

 

Mind you - if you're quick, you might be able to nip down to the bookie's and put your life savings on #4 being drawn as the bonus ball for tonight's Lotto draw. 100% win absolutely guaranteed.

 

Or maybe half the life savings on #4, the other half on #36.

 

Hmmm. Yeah, I see the problem here. But one way or the other, deffo guaranteed*.

 

 

Oh, and for those who find themselves a little short on weasel blood, apparently Lidl have it on offer this weekend. I think it's usually down that middle aisle, between the Spicy Donkey Flavour corn snacks and replacement solar panels for the International Space Station.

 

For those who prefer to go the traditional route, who else fancies a ticket or two for this petite charmeuse?


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#51 OFFLINE   Datsuncog

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Posted 09 September 2018 - 09:24 AM

Further proof that a Citroen AX not only gives you the sort of attractiveness levels unseen since they stopped selling Hai Karate aftershave in Poundland, but also offers unparalleled opportunities for motorsport thrills.

 

 

For less than the price of two pints of indifferent lager from an over-fancy city centre bar, this could be you. ^^^^


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#52 OFFLINE   Datsuncog

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Posted 10 September 2018 - 12:52 PM

The Citroen AX - the only car fully approved* to be driven on the Great Wall Of China.

 

Citroen AX - Press Ad, France.jpg

 

*Not even slightly approved.


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#53 OFFLINE   pandamonium

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Posted 10 September 2018 - 05:48 PM

I'm in. One random please
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2001 Suzuki Wagon R+


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#54 OFFLINE   Datsuncog

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Posted 10 September 2018 - 07:12 PM

I'm in. One random please


Bish bash bosh. One sweet-smelling ticket to Winnersville for you, sir.

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It's the way I tell 'em.

 

Jimmy-Cricket.jpg



#55 OFFLINE   Datsuncog

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Posted 11 September 2018 - 02:38 PM

Citroen AX - Aulnay Plant.jpg

 

Citroen built almost two and a half million of these little blighters over a twelve year period.

 

That's over 200,000 a year.

 

Or 16, 841 a month.

 

3, 886 a week.

 

647 a day (assuming a six day week).

 

81 an hour (9-5).

 

Nearly one and a half cars every minute. For twelve years.

 

:shock:  :shock:  :shock:

 

 

Now there's something to throw in during those awkward lulls in conversation with workmates....

 

AS Roffle Presentation.png

 

You're very welcome.


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#56 OFFLINE   GeordieInExile

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Posted 11 September 2018 - 03:01 PM

The amount of painted metal inside this makes me almost as happy as the needlessly sporty front seats.


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Gannin' along the Scotswood Rooooooad... in my 9-5 Aero.


#57 ONLINE   binhoker668

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Posted 11 September 2018 - 04:32 PM

Heh, you sound like me... very like me.

Give it a week and see how things look, hey? ;)


Where was the penniless losers quote? That shit is no good. At all.

1986 Austin Montego (Exec)
1988 Fiat Uno
1986 Volvo 340 DL
1991 Ford Escort 1.6
1993 Ford Transit (Smiley)
1992 Peugeot 205 1.1
1994 Fiat Punto
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1994 Peugeot 405 GLX
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2001 Citroen Xantia 2.0 HDi Forte


#58 OFFLINE   pandamonium

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Posted 11 September 2018 - 04:39 PM

Just Scott being his usual charming self...

 

Screenshot_20180911-173730.jpg


2001 Suzuki Wagon R+


#59 OFFLINE   Datsuncog

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Posted 11 September 2018 - 05:04 PM

Where was the penniless losers quote? That shit is no good. At all.


Wasn't it on the for sale thread for the Audi 80?



I resemble that remark.



#60 ONLINE   binhoker668

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Posted 11 September 2018 - 05:13 PM

Anyway, it’s all beside the point. This roffle needs to be postponed until the 22nd. KTHXBAI
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1986 Austin Montego (Exec)
1988 Fiat Uno
1986 Volvo 340 DL
1991 Ford Escort 1.6
1993 Ford Transit (Smiley)
1992 Peugeot 205 1.1
1994 Fiat Punto
2000 Ford Transit (Smiley)
1987 Mazda 323 GL
1994 Peugeot 405 GLX
1995 Peugeot 405 GLX
1997 Citroen Xantia 1.9 TD SX

1997 Citroen Synergie 1.9 TD SX

2000 VW Golf GT TDi (PD 115)

2004 Seat Toledo II TDi (PD130)

2001 Citroen Xantia 2.0 HDi Forte






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