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Suzuki something something GSR.


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#1 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 11:40 AM

Being a fan of japanish warm hatches throughout the ages, my interest pants were pricked with a WANT BONE when Garethj advertised his Suzuki Ballerino GSR for sale.

Sadly, it was out of my price range.

Hapilly nobody else wanted it.

Sadly it was then advertised on ebay.

Hapilly I got drunk and entertained myself by bidding against Loserone.

Sadly, I won the auction.

Happily, the reserve wasnt met.

Sadly, Gareth said I could buy it anyway.

Happily, I found I couldnt really afford it after all.

Sadly, Loserone offered to half it with me.

Happily, a three way deal was done.

Sadly, I couldnt go and collect it due to unexpected circumstances.

Happily, Bucketeer is a legend and offered to do all the legwork.
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#2 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 11:44 AM

Bucketeer set off from Misnk or wherever the fuck location he woke up in more than ten thousand miles away at a most ungodly hour. Being a man of unpeckable taste and outlook, he was in good spirits and driving a Volvo that usually* starts. He set off for Gareths, which is about 1000 miles away as the cow files.

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#3 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 11:47 AM

We wished him well and I fucked off to work a ten or eleven hour shift.

Updates were provided and after barely three or four hours Bucketeer arrived at the start of his journey.

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THE OLD SWITCHEROO.
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#4 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 11:50 AM

The car. Though Im sure you all saw the for sale thread.

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Its a turn of the century 1.8 litre shoe. With electric side windoes and the indicators on the other side.
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#5 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 11:54 AM

The front end looks like a Toyota Corrola and the back end looks like a Daewoo Lanos. That butters absolutely no parsnips however as everyone that looks at it forgets what it looks like immediately after they stop looking right at it.

Witch one is it m8?


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#6 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 11:58 AM

Bucketeer trundled north and sent positive reviews ahead via modern mediums of digital communication.

He barely stopped for a wee but did thankfully stop for a wee.

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Very rear badge.
No m8 it r not a mottobike.

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#7 ONLINE   Felly Magic

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 12:01 PM

This place...etc etc


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#8 OFFLINE   SiC

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 12:01 PM

I haven't seen one of these for so long I've forgotten they existed or what they even looked like.
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Oldies: 1972 Austin 1100 2dr - Project Rust bucket, 1974 MGB GT - A stereotypical classic car.
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#9 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 12:08 PM

If it was winter, it would have been dark by the time Bucketeer made it up to Nyacassel upon Toon, but it was the height of sticky summer so it was still light and we could view the three door in all of its anonymous glory. .

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Loserone and Scaryoldcortina arrived to have a look round it and Scary poked at the breaks in a knowing way.

After a look round it, we proved that you CAN get four grown men in a small three door hatchback, but you probably shouldnt.

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#10 OFFLINE   loserone

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 12:11 PM

A loser and a scary coming to find a bucket and a bell.ce893f719a28b41b01b014c5a1ecdc80.0.jpg
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405 with no head, Leaf, 206 GTI with a knackered axle, Legacy H6 Spec B.  Half a.. something. It's japanese and silver, but I don't remember it.
Moaty's cat's back, Zak.


#11 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 12:22 PM

There was still a few hours till Bucketeers bus (yes. Bus) home, so we went to the nearest pub to talk bollocks about cars for a bit.

Bucketeer toddled off for the National Express and I headed for home.


Pez shot.

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Speed clocks. White dials for faster miles.

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#12 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 12:34 PM

Big thanks to Bucketeer for taking the time to collect, and deliver the GSR. A not insubstantial round trip of about 27 hours. What a board legend.



Took it out for a blast and clean today.


Something missing.

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Perfect.
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#13 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 12:36 PM

Something missing.

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Perfect.

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#14 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 12:38 PM

Something missing.

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Perfect.

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#15 OFFLINE   SiC

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 12:39 PM

I like how the steering wheel doesn't even have a logo. It's almost as if Suzuki went to a car parts shop and picked up a generic steering wheel with airbag.
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Oldies: 1972 Austin 1100 2dr - Project Rust bucket, 1974 MGB GT - A stereotypical classic car.
Moderns: 2008 Audi TT - Utterly boring but very compentent, 2010 Aldi A4 - Owned to placate the wife on my crap buying.

#16 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 12:41 PM

Cleans up pretty well.

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#17 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 12:50 PM

Whats it like?


Well, it feels like you would expect a 1990s designed small Japanese car to feel. But with a bigger engine. It pootles around very sedately and quietly when asked to. When you poke the little pedal it roars a bit and the front lifts as the world rushes past. Theres a bit of torque steer if you cane it and its easy enough to slide it if throw it round.

Its pretty much exactly what youd expect.

Theres a bit of a clonk from the front, which gets promoted to a bang over speedbumps. The ignition switch is bit hit and miss. Cant really pick any other "faults". A very short list for such a cheap and entertaining car!


Plans are for me and co-owner Loserone to do a bit of autotesting in it.

Seems very well suited to the purpose.
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#18 OFFLINE   rantingYoof

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 12:57 PM

You aren't half good at bagging bloody nifty smoll cars.


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#19 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 01:00 PM

I like how the steering wheel doesn't even have a logo. It's almost as if Suzuki went to a car parts shop and picked up a generic steering wheel with airbag.


Ha ha! I hadnt even noticed that.

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#20 OFFLINE   sims00

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 01:02 PM

Love this little thing! Reminds me, I need to buy a couple stickers off you!
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#21 OFFLINE   Pillock

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 01:03 PM

I haven't seen one of these for so long I've forgotten they existed or what they even looked like.

I scrolled up so the picture was off the top of the page and I forgot they existed or what they even looked like.
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#22 OFFLINE   Pillock

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 01:15 PM

I like how the steering wheel doesn't even have a logo. It's almost as if Suzuki went to a car parts shop and picked up a generic steering wheel with airbag.

It's just occured to me, this is one of those cars you get in insurance adverts that are just "generic car" without being attributable to any particular manufacturer.
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#23 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 01:15 PM

It's just occured to me, this is one of those cars you get in insurance adverts that are just "generic car" without being attributable to any particular manufacturer.


I cant remember seeing any.
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#24 OFFLINE   SiC

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 01:25 PM

Is the ambulance there on standby, for all those that faint after seeing such a beautifully formed motor vehicle?
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Oldies: 1972 Austin 1100 2dr - Project Rust bucket, 1974 MGB GT - A stereotypical classic car.
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#25 OFFLINE   greengartside

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 02:07 PM

Love the original Blackburn Car Centre plates. Same style as a lot of the local North-West dealerships at that time. (Bank Top & Bury Car Centre, also called BCC spring to mind).

Well bought, the seats look comfortable as funk.
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#26 OFFLINE   loserone

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 02:15 PM

I thought they were, but i'm a bit shorter than Jim

405 with no head, Leaf, 206 GTI with a knackered axle, Legacy H6 Spec B.  Half a.. something. It's japanese and silver, but I don't remember it.
Moaty's cat's back, Zak.


#27 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 04 August 2018 - 02:28 PM

Well bought, the seats look comfortable as funk.

 

 

They are by design for reasonably sized people.  I'm a bit on the LONG AND FAT side so the moulded intagrated head rest just pokes in bottom of my neck and the seat belt peg jabs deeply into my hip.

 

GOD DAMN YOU, ALL THE PIES!


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#28 OFFLINE   Bucketeer

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Posted 07 August 2018 - 12:48 AM

I received a missive in the post regarding an adventure. Two gentle men from the North required a descreet conduit, and I was their man. My heart quivered beneath my silken robe.

At this same moment, my faithfull canine companion bounded in like an excited cloud of black candyfloss to present me with more thrilling news via the medium of dribble.

 

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She had managed to bury her first bone. What I champion I thought. Almost like a real dog.

 

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These thoughts were soon placed on a handy nearby shelf for later perusal as more urgent, strident, pulsating and throbbing matters lay ahead.

A delivery.

Facts were scarce.

Intel patchy.

I'd be going in without the full picture; alone, vulnerable, naked, quivering.

I wouldn't call myself a hero but it was a name I was willing to shrug onto my broad, sinuous, tanned shoulders if required.

 

The first leg of my odyssey involved a foray into the heaving bosum of one of our country's technological marvels. The superfast, hi-tech, self-aware, mega motorway of the future - Mister25.

 

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Mr25 and I danced a slow, heavy, quivering dance. Often close to glorious release but seemingly forever thwarted.

After some passage of time the primary destination was achieved, and beneath a dark, forboding sky full of menace and intrigue, and with a firm but passionless kiss, I said goodbye to GuardKitteh as he watched over my carriage.

 

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With a light, delicate, artist's touch I (incorrectly) began to finger South Shields into my Satellite Navigation device. My silver Japanese companion quivered in anticipation.

 

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Whilst South Korea was tempting, I decided to head for a town built around a new castle. This town was to be many miles up a tough, relentless, stretch of quivering blacktop. My heaving bosom tingled as I slid the gossamer seatbelt across, and I inserted it's cold steel buckle firmly but respectfully into a hole that felt almost designed to fit it. Two became one in a perfect dance of safety-first ecstasy.

 

My Asian companion requested a 'selfie'. Apparently young adults up and down the breadth of The United Britain are indulging in this new, debauched and quite literally lethal pastime. I watched on, open mouthed, moist lipped. If I'm honest my bits were tingling a bit, rumbling and dancing beneath their silken why-fronted master.

 

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The shop in the background of shot summed up my early feeling towards Baleno San. He was definitely a box of delights I was looking forward to rummaging through.

With a firm, fair, but slightly calloused and occasionally naughty hand.

 

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On my way northwards, like a silver bull, relentless.

The air hot, the electicity palpable.

I quivered. Again and again.

 

But that's for another time x


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#29 OFFLINE   Cavcraft

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Posted 07 August 2018 - 05:36 AM

99/7.

Stand aside, Mills & Boon, there's a new Barabara Cartland in town.


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#30 OFFLINE   The Moog

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Posted 07 August 2018 - 06:03 AM

Just off for a cold shower....


How much does insurance reduce with a guard cat?
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