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Guest Message by DevFuse
 

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Brown Avensis. *Eyes down*

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428 replies to this topic

#31 ONLINE   mercrocker

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 08:26 AM

Excellent thread so far....Would read to bored wife again.


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1963 Morry Thou

1955 Cowley

1987 VW T25 Holdsworth

1990 190E

197? Portafold Caravan 

2000 Fiesta Zetec Ghia

 


#32 OFFLINE   Richard

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 08:31 AM

Are you venturing to the correct side of the Forth?



#33 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 08:33 AM

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Its a lovely day but the air in here is as thick as mince. Squawking children are choking on it between complaints and demands for ice cream.

Im heading to the quiet carriage for respite.
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#34 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 08:43 AM

Update: I was already in the quiet carriage.

Flick squawking kids the V's in plain view of disinterested patents and wish Id brought headphones.

I usually do. I usually bring a lot of stuff. Jump pack, duct tape, sockets, wd40 etc, but not today. Today its a phone and a phone charger.

Today Im buying a Japanese car from an owner whos mechanical ability far exceeds mine. A(nother) bearing might be loud, it might use a bit of oil but Ive got full confidence that I wont need anything but sat nav.

And air con. Thank god the cars got air con. Im sweating like a racehorse with a limp.

Many thanks to Mr Cade for changing one of the bearings before collection. You dont get service like that on Gumtree.

Unless you buy from TheShaddow.
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#35 ONLINE   Parky

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 08:43 AM

This chap, St Isidore of Seville might come in useful, what with being a sixth century saint responsible for technology and playing bass in a Mumford and Sons tribute band. May his wise counsel and infinite understanding of things invented 1400 years after his death see your WiFi maintained and your vehicle electrical smoke contained within its harnesses on your journey fair traveller

Here he is watching a Microsoft update taking place and praying it hurries up before his missus pops by. Otherwise t’is fair chance she will open the emails and discover he hath won himself a Land Rover Freelander from some bloke in Canvey Island. And lo the steed shalt hath urges to overheat and thine prop shaft hath been removed but it’s otherwise perfect. M8

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#36 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 08:50 AM

Doing it right^
I hope I bump into him today. He sounds class.
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#37 OFFLINE   Tetleysmooth

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 08:53 AM

I'm a tad confused, but:

 

http://autoshite.com...ra-la-la-la-la/



#38 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 08:54 AM

I'm a tad confused, but:
 
http://autoshite.com...ra-la-la-la-la/


Thats where Im heading.

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#39 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 08:59 AM

And if we look out of the Port side of the vehicle, we can see the soul of another Laguna B assending to heaven after a simultaneous coil spring fracture, ecu failure and broken con rod on the A1 south of Haddington.


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The driver sadly went to hell.
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#40 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 09:03 AM

Scotland mostly achieved.

Berwick. Upon the Tweed.


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#41 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 09:04 AM

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P.C. up one to one.
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#42 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 09:09 AM

St Christoper:
I just popped past to see if you were getting on ok. I heard some grunting and crying.

Me: yeah thanks I feel a bit better.

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Colin: Did you know that the 1.8 engine from the Toyota Avensis was used to power SOME Lotus Elises?

Me: I did not know that Colin.

Colin: its on Wikipedia so it must be true. Ok I hate you, bye.

St Christopher: sorry, he gets like this when he hasnt had his wrens.
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#43 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 09:43 AM

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#44 OFFLINE   Tetleysmooth

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 09:50 AM

                                                                     ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

Retirement home for former Avensis owners.


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#45 ONLINE   egg

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 09:54 AM

Why has no one asked about poo count?
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1993 Ford Mondeo 1.6 base, 1993 Ford Mondeo 1.6 GLX , 1995 Mazda 323c 1.5 auto.


#46 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 09:59 AM

Why has no one asked about poo count?



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P.C. up one to two.
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#47 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 10:00 AM

We miss you Savvy.

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#48 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 10:02 AM

Smoll y tho train.

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Waverly station never ceases to amaze me. Its big and lovely. Always busy and full of bewildered American bams.
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#49 ONLINE   egg

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 10:04 AM

I'm pissing myself laughing at this fred, much to Mrs Egg's annoyance.

1993 Ford Mondeo 1.6 base, 1993 Ford Mondeo 1.6 GLX , 1995 Mazda 323c 1.5 auto.


#50 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 10:07 AM

Last train seems a bit right wing.

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Bur theres a woman over there that seems nice.

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Holy Mary:
Hello traveller, I bring you blessings and advice. Please note that the toilet facilities on this train are out of order.

Me: Jesus christ.


Holy Mary: Sorry, hes on his holidays.

Me:

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#51 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 10:16 AM

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#52 OFFLINE   DSdriver

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 10:26 AM

Whilst crossing the dangerous waters of the Atlantic* you may wish to have the assistance of Santa Caterina da Siena, she looks after those at sea and is highly rated by nuns but not kittens. Her speciality is Italian chod but reasonable rates are available for others

10098996835_0e5a88a2a7_z.jpgNuns and Santa Caterina da Siena at Varazze, Liguria, Italy by Jean-Pierre Declemy, on Flickr


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JohnF said:
"I have to say, I don't really like the styling of Citroens.

But I just love the fact that they exist."

#53 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 10:26 AM

St Genevieve's competition interlude.

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Hi, Im St Genevieve, the patron saint of Paris and Disasters. I like attention but barely anyone knows I exist. Like Moatys Cat. If you can correctly answer my Sunday Bloody Sunday question correctly, you could win ONE POUND and a small but handy shock proof rubberised LED torch (brand new).

No cheating.

The first person to guess the correct train fare (Newcastle-Stirling) for todays traveller wins the prizes. Fare is a whole pound value.

Go!
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#54 ONLINE   bramz7

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 10:27 AM

£58.

buyer of impulse, seller of regret

 

Current fleet:

 

1984 Renault 18 TD Estate

1991 Saab 900 XS Auto

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#55 ONLINE   cort16

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 10:29 AM

To calculated train fairs in advance you think of a sensible number then double it. So £44

I estimate this car needs £3000 maybe £4000 spending on it to get it rite and when this is done it will be wotrth about £1500!!


#56 ONLINE   egg

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 10:29 AM

£48

1993 Ford Mondeo 1.6 base, 1993 Ford Mondeo 1.6 GLX , 1995 Mazda 323c 1.5 auto.


#57 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 10:30 AM

Lower than all.

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#58 OFFLINE   Nyphur

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 10:34 AM

£39 by virtue of split ticketing and the watchful gaze of Saint Matthew
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Windows 10 Pro Licenses, £5 each, PM me for details.


#59 OFFLINE   clayts450

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 10:34 AM

£27 and £10 back through Quidco


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Current

1992 Rover 214SLi; 2003 Chrysler PT Cruiser Limited CRD2004 Rover Streetwise S

 

Historical choddage (stopped driving 1999-2016)
1969 VW Beetle 1300;  1977 Morris Marina 1.3 Super; 1983 Skoda Estelle 120L; Rover Metro; Vauxhall CorsaVauxhall Cavalier ; 2001 Rover 45 V6 Connie (May to Oct 2018)


#60 OFFLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 10:34 AM

Lower still.

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