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BMW collection time....

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#1 OFFLINE   blakey79

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Posted 12 May 2018 - 06:08 AM

The sun is shining, my alarm has been moved off snooze, I need a wee, coffee consumption taking place....

Today is the day, from Paris to Berlin and every disco I been in, no no no sorry Basingstoke to WW residence in Utopia.

So here’s the plan, due to winning the raffle, and me thinking if I win,,,a fairy dust emblazoned Cora’s would waft me to utopia and I can cruise back like a boss in the bmw. What’s happening is the below.


1. Wife’s car needs to be dropped off for new tyres...

2 Walk back

3. Drive to Oxford

4, Car share to utopia

5. Drive back

Utopia is a place right ???
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#2 ONLINE   BoggyMires

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Posted 12 May 2018 - 06:21 AM

Never heard of it. Good luck with colecktshun.


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#3 OFFLINE   loserone

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Posted 12 May 2018 - 06:47 AM

As noted in previous thread, Utopia is a few miles away from WW's gaff. Right part of the world though
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#4 ONLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 12 May 2018 - 07:05 AM




Make sure you try for a wee before you set off. Even if you feel like you dont need one.
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#5 OFFLINE   blakey79

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Posted 12 May 2018 - 07:10 AM

I squeezed it out, I don’t remember drinking lucozade...

#6 OFFLINE   blakey79

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Posted 12 May 2018 - 08:56 AM

Morning started

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#7 ONLINE   Aston Martin

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Posted 12 May 2018 - 08:57 AM

I’m expecting a Mini.
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#8 OFFLINE   blakey79

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Posted 12 May 2018 - 08:58 AM

Just been dropped of in Oxford, and just to reassure listeners wee number 2 achieved.

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#9 OFFLINE   blakey79

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Posted 12 May 2018 - 12:32 PM

Wee number 3 needed but not achieved....
Scotch corner 29 miles away...

And I was going to save this as my piece de resistance...
I used the website www.blablacar.co.uk to car share up to utopia, it said that the driver had a Burgundy coloured Fiat tipo, it slipped my mind that it would be the 2018 version.

Gutted but interesting guy despite only driving for 6 months and this is the first time he’s driven up the M1...

All gotta start somewhere..
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#10 ONLINE   The Reverend Bluejeans

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Posted 12 May 2018 - 01:08 PM

Coffee and a fag first thing result in a massive poo about 20 mins later. It's like a scene from Das Boot.


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#11 ONLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 12 May 2018 - 01:13 PM

A chain smoker I used to live with literally referred to his first tab of the day, as THE GRENADE pin. Once hed pulled that out, you could garuntee a brown explosion soon thereafter.
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#12 ONLINE   The Reverend Bluejeans

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Posted 12 May 2018 - 01:19 PM

A chain smoker I used to live with literally referred to his first tab of the day, as THE GRENADE pin. Once hed pulled that out, you could garuntee a brown explosion soon thereafter.

 

This is the sequence I believe.

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#13 OFFLINE   blakey79

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Posted 12 May 2018 - 07:03 PM

Nearly home just stopped off in Oxford

Wilsonwilson top man, an absolute legend....

Car is fantastic and I’m torn as to what to do to it. Time will tell but think I’ll stick it in for an MOT, and take it from there.

Had to move the car at the petrol station due to well common courtesy..and a minibus of rugby players. I really like this car, and am genuinely surprised it has 165000 miles on it, I like it so much I even let out a bottom burp to show how in touch I am,and how this could be the start of a great relationship...

Haters gonna hate but since the journey has soldiered on, no poop count, but must be up to at least 5 wee stops in total..

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#14 OFFLINE   Björn

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Posted 12 May 2018 - 07:06 PM

Top bombing. I've got its doppelgänger!
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#15 ONLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 12 May 2018 - 07:11 PM

Glad youre happy with it fella. Great to meet you too. All credit for the cars good order must go to its former owners flat4alfa and stephen01 of course. I didn't even have it long enough to fart in it.

 

My only regret.

 

Should have farted in it.


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#16 OFFLINE   blakey79

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Posted 12 May 2018 - 07:17 PM

Parp, there you go WW, pleasure was all mine..
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#17 OFFLINE   purplebargeken

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Posted 12 May 2018 - 07:36 PM

One should fart in all of one's cars. Using different farts of course. 


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#18 ONLINE   Jim Bell

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Posted 12 May 2018 - 07:40 PM

I usually save them up until I get into someone elses car.


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#19 ONLINE   The Reverend Bluejeans

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Posted 12 May 2018 - 09:16 PM

Nearly home just stopped off in Oxford

Wilsonwilson top man, an absolute legend....

Car is fantastic and I’m torn as to what to do to it. Time will tell but think I’ll stick it in for an MOT, and take it from there.

Had to move the car at the petrol station due to well common courtesy..and a minibus of rugby players. I really like this car, and am genuinely surprised it has 165000 miles on it, I like it so much I even let out a bottom burp to show how in touch I am,and how this could be the start of a great relationship...

Haters gonna hate but since the journey has soldiered on, no poop count, but must be up to at least 5 wee stops in total..

 

 

Is that fucking thing still going? With me, that's four owners in a year. 


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#20 OFFLINE   blakey79

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Posted 12 May 2018 - 10:11 PM

It happened just outside of Bramley, a mahoosive shout of Yes.....

After an absolutely torrid week at work, where people's morals and values have caused me to question,well just question myself and others..this week has seriously recharged my mojo...

Middle of the week great news you've won a car, wow,what,where,when,who, Utopia and I get to travel to there as well.. So Basingstoke to Newcastle that will be 11 hours by coach, and the train fare well it wouldn't be fair to my bank balance to punish it to that degree.. Or you can travel with a stranger for 5 hours, for the cost of £33.00 offering door to door service courtesy of www.blablacar.co.uk, no I'm not on commission..

So my chaffeur Jamie was a great kid, but initially worried me by stating that he'd never driven on a motorway, at this stage I'd normally be wanting to grab the wheel but his calm demeanour, and our shared experiences of Scotland where he was travelling to kept me sane but the nagging doubt of work and sheer WTF am I doing today hung over me like a fog.

Meet WilsonWilson, what a true gent, and his awesome long nose dog, he put me at ease, offered me refreshments and offered me a test drive, wow it was a raffle prize, but he rolled out the red carpet..
The car was immaculate and he went as far to tell me of the known faults and that he'd checked the oil, and cleaned the windscreen, what a truely awesome dude... The fog was still there, and sadly just before arriving at WilsonWilson abode I received a truely crap email about something that I will need to sort out next week, yes work related grgrgrgrgrrrrrrr


On the motorway back home Christ over 400 miles, in a old car, what if it fails, what precautions have I taken, normally old cars are sold when they have faults ( insert own mother and fathers pearls of wisdom )
This drives alright you know, what time will I be back home, who knows, who ca.........

165000 miles, well this is an adventure, confession time I've owned 2 Bmws before and guess what both of them died on me, and no doubt with my luck boohoo who FFS Blakey79 cheer up, your normally the optimistic one....

Right sort it out, you da man


image.jpeg image.jpeg


A www this is a nice relaxing drive...

Fear of the Unknown

M1, this is good

Lol M6 toll road, shit the window doesn't drop down enough, I've a que behind me quick thinking required, and I'm paying the price now, quick as a flash rear window power down and contactless payment paid however my shoulder isn't designed to go that angle....

Piss stop required, traffic lights red, lads in an Astra, I can feel there eyes burning the side of my head, turn and mouth .... What then foot down go, this is good and I out dragged a 2017 astra, what's that in the corner of my mouth, a grin, not yet, a smirk...

At Didcot now, about 40 ish miles to go, fuel light on, let's take the lanes back home Didcot to pangbourne, in a decent car, hold on, sports mode, clear road, was that the traction control lighting up, pull out of a junction woohoo rear wheel drive I've missed you... 20 miles left to get back home...

I almost enjo....yeah this has been good, cleared my head, time to myself, and when was the last time I did something for just my enjoyment, he'll yeah to long...
Radio on now......Snap Rhythm is a dancer, yeah, this is go...come on blakey79
Up and up the volume goes, I overtake a car, fair enough they were dwawdling, I hit the redline in first second, the car hasn't faultered once....


I'm taking risks my fuel light is on, I'm still a little while to get back home, but I'm not tired, it's 9pm, I've been on the road since 9am...
What am I going to do with this car, I've already got a car, and my wife won't ever part with her GTI, I let of a celebratory trump in the car, you deserve to live....




And then the roundabout outside Bramley, I'm a driving God, and the shout of yes escapes my mouth, and whilst holding the tiniest bit of oversteer and then Buddy holly by weezer is playing on the radio....

The smile is back, Blakey 79 is back....

Thank you for bringing back the mojo......


Thank you for brainwashing you, I'm pray at the altar that is Autoshite

And I only had this amount of fuel left...and no I haven't bothered checking my emails from work, I'm on a bit of a high...unlike my fuel tank...

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#21 ONLINE   The Reverend Bluejeans

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Posted 13 May 2018 - 08:06 AM

The faults with this fine* vehicle are/were:

 

Both front window regs are bolloxed. They're cheap new if a bit of a bastard to fit because E46.

 

Central locking was always hit and miss.

 

When the guy who gave it me picked it up, it boiled it's tits off in traffic. Because, in true E46 fashion, the cooling fan was NFG. Well, the fan worked, but the lunatic electrical system that powers it did not. E46's don't have a simple fast/slow cooling fan like an E36 because that would be too simple. No, those crazy fun loving Germans got someone from from France to redesign it with as many failure points as possible. The fan is 12v and earth so 12v and an earth make it run fast enough to pull an HE111 off the ground. So, there is a speed control unit on the side of the fan. But that's not enough. This speed control unit on the side of the fan needs another control relay. And the relay that controls the speed control unit needs a pulsed wire feed from the engine ECU. Any of this can/will go wrong including the ECU when the power source resistor goes pop. This is why I hate E46's. 

 

So, a cheap 12v fan was ordered from the Bay, made on the Orient. It has a simple 12v feed so it comes on with the ignition and runs all the time. This set up could do with refining really but it stopped this turd from having any more cooling shenanigans last Summer. 

 

The head has already been skimmed, probably in 2016. It's had a rad and water pump but we fitted a new stat because some clown had pulled the centre out of the old one to keep it cooler when that does the exact opposite. 

 

One rear tyre was borderline fucked when I sold it but it does drive well enough and it flew through the MOT in June with clean emissions. The head has been skimmed to buggery and they didn't skim it with the front timing cover fitted, hence the slight oil leak. 


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#22 OFFLINE   flat4alfa

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Posted 13 May 2018 - 10:26 PM

Excellent news!

 

So my over-estimation of petrol requirement for arrival at Utopia, only got you home as well !  Didcot is a bit of a walk from here too

 

Yes RBJ hates them with a pash.  I quite liked it you know, because bicycle money.  What I didn't like was the hard rear suspension (wrang coils?) and ....well too many cars so didn't fix the window or lock and played with the Rovers instead.

 

It was reliable with a great battery, that could be left for weeks on end.  Jump in and go.  Never overheated even in M1 commute traffic and loaded with family for a Weymouth weekender.  Leaks to buggery though, like an old Austin.

 

Not only that it was the ONLY car put on the driveway by the estate agent and quite likely helped sell our house within 36 hours of going on.  Because pretension, that worked.


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#23 ONLINE   The Reverend Bluejeans

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Posted 15 May 2018 - 06:13 PM

You've got an Alfa 33 mark 1. Any pix m8?


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#24 OFFLINE   Lord Sterling

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Posted 15 May 2018 - 10:38 PM

SIIIK YO. Welcome to the e46 owners club, grab a white shirt, tie and sunglasses and grab a seat over there...

When I dropped off the killer Lanos, me and tha_Wilsons of Newcastle had a minor chinwag about this car. It's a bit posher than mine having leather, wood and being an estate (ffs :|) alas, as brookjm/Heritage Motor etc... has a 330d estate, I have asked for dibs, sadly at the rate of my (lack thereof) employment I'll never see it :(

I'm glad RBJ hates them, someone has to ;)

Good luck with it, I'll be keenly following its updates.
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#25 OFFLINE   flat4alfa

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 11:53 AM

You've got an Alfa 33 mark 1. Any pix m8?

 

Yes, one of the handful of surviving QO or Quadrifoglio Oro.  All that means is Gold Cloverleaf, the comfy one with the geography teacher seats and a trip computer of lies.

 

485623_10151991429642598_1137433194_n.jpIMG_4036.jpg

 

Wife hates it.

 

Being exhumed from storage in a weeks time hopefully.  All it needed was bushings for the MOT, but it got put away.


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#26 ONLINE   The Reverend Bluejeans

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 03:29 PM

I had a few back in the day, from a 1.3 Boxer 4C to a silver Green Cloverleaf that went like fuck. I bought it from a bloke in Thame for £250 in 1996, usual rusty blebs all over it but it really did go like the clappers. It was sold to a guy who built a Minari kit car with the running gear. 


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#27 ONLINE   The Reverend Bluejeans

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 03:30 PM


I'm glad RBJ hates them, someone has to ;)

 

 

They're an odd car. Some just go on and on with bugger all maintenance (like yours) and some are just a fucking nightmare. 


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#28 OFFLINE   320touring

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 06:43 PM

They're an odd car. Some just go on and on with bugger all maintenance (like yours) and most are just a fucking nightmare.


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#29 OFFLINE   flat4alfa

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 06:55 PM

Green Cloverleaf that went like fuck.

 

This was my QV, that also WLF

 

GCLint_-_Copy.jpg

GCLint.jpg

 

This was 9 years ago, so good going but it needed much welding and I had no space* (or talent) so scrapped it rFQiMnvtBExsXVxT0NtP.gif

Still got the engine and all the running gear doors panels the lot though.  But i'll build a Minari, that will GLF

 

* two Beta saloons and a Trevi were arriving.  I'm better now though.


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#30 OFFLINE   Isaac Hunt

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 07:34 PM

The faults with this fine* vehicle are/were:
 
Both front window regs are bolloxed. They're cheap new if a bit of a bastard to fit because E46.
 
Central locking was always hit and miss.
 
When the guy who gave it me picked it up, it boiled it's tits off in traffic. Because, in true E46 fashion, the cooling fan was NFG. Well, the fan worked, but the lunatic electrical system that powers it did not.
 
So, a cheap 12v fan was ordered from the Bay, made on the Orient. It has a simple 12v feed so it comes on with the ignition and runs all the time. This set up could do with refining really but it stopped this turd from having any more cooling shenanigans last Summer. 
 
The head has already been skimmed, probably in 2016. It's had a rad and water pump but we fitted a new stat because some clown had pulled the centre out of the old one to keep it cooler when that does the exact opposite. 
 
The head has been skimmed to buggery and they didn't skim it with the front timing cover fitted, hence the slight oil leak.


For some strange reason, for which I have no rational rational explanation, I somehow expected a Bee Emm bike of this here Parish to be AGAN and sans fault or Shitters Fixes. However, what does one expect for the same price as a prawn sarny in Sparks and Mencer ehh Mister Ratennar.

I particularly like the Shanghai Special 12v fan fix. A car in the family has just had a new fan for a Fauxhall at a cost of some £481. It was a tow into a garage and miles away from me, not that I might have got to a Shanghia Special with and I hose thermostatic switch and a 12v feed.





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