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MEGA SALE! Everything must go! Saab! (Golf sold, Omega roffled.)


worldofceri

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Dearest shite fondlers,

 

After months and years of dreaming I've finally packed my job in and am preparing to go self-employed.  My area of business will be the dynamic, stimulating and probably totally non-lucrative game of car transportation, vehicle delivery and general shitelying.  I know others on here have done this, with varying degrees of success, but "He who dares, wins, Rodney".  And, if it all goes tits up, there's plenty of work around here for steering-wheel attendants so, I can always go back to that and never have to wonder, 'what if?'.

 

So, to clear the ground - literally - I need to make room on the drive.  No pikey beavertail for me.  It'll be a 4wd and a trailer...  Cash is needed, but space is more neededer!  Help me out by buying my old crocks!

 

1.  1988 Saab 900 Turbo.

 

232,000 miles.  No mot.

 

NkMpgq0.jpg

 

I bought this a few years ago from jonathan_dyane of this parish.  It was running well when I first had it and it was my daily for quite a while.  Unfortunately, I am a terrible owner and it has deteriorated considerably.  When I moved house and got myself a garage and drive I figured I'd have more opportunity to tinker with it - maybe learn a bit about K-Jet - but it's been a year now and I haven't touched it.

 

NqmVPMq.jpg

 

What's wrong with it?  Lots.

 

It starts but won't run.  The fuel is perhaps stale, but there's more to it than that.  It's misfiring and, although I can get it to keep going by modulating the throttle, it won't idle at all.

 

Prior to this I was having increasing trouble starting it when warm (suspected duff fuel pump relay), but generally was OK from cold.

 

There is at least one leaky coolant pipe (I cut it over-short as a temporary* measure) and the expansion tank weeps a bit.

 

Power steering leaks.

 

Exhaust manifold leaks.

 

Vibration when driving at speed; probably driveshaft inner cv joints.

 

Sunroof leaks.  Gaffer-tape repair* failed over the winter and the carpets became sodden.  They are (very slowly) drying out at the minute. [edit: recent sunny weather has dries them out a treat.]

 

No headlining (pro: makes the leaky sunroof easier to fix were anyone ever to get that far).

 

Bodywork is poor.  It's had a bodgetastic respray at some point in the past that is now very much showing through.  Doors and wings are particularly bad; there is structural newspaper under some of the once-shiny paint.  Bonnet is not too rusty though, although the paint finish is now awful.  I haven't inspected the structure, but presumably it would need a bit of sparkle stick action for an mot.  I had one jacking point done before the last mot (in 2016) as a precaution.

 

What's right with it?

 

Velour.

 

Turbo.

 

Four good Firestone tyres that, hopefully, won't have flat-spotted as it has been rolled around occasionally.

 

New exhaust from manifold back.

 

Some of the electrics actually work.  (Mirrors and at least three windows.)

 

It's actually pretty clean and tidy inside, despite a damp carpet.  Not a bad place to sit and make brum-brum noises as it rots around you on your drive.

 

bE664Sd.jpg

 

Joking aside it would make a decent summer project for someone with a bit of time and who knows what they're doing.  I have no idea what I'm doing, which is why it's got to this state.  Obviously it can't be driven but I am more than willing to help with loading/towing.  I will even tow it home for someone if I can get the lend of an a-frame.

 

LSF14AE.jpg

 

Shiteist price:  Sold.

 

However, it absolutely has to go, and I would rather someone on here bid me right down than let it go for scrap.

 

Location:  Coventry.  M6 junction 2.

 

 

 

2.  1999 Vauxhall Omega 2.5 V6 CD

3.  2000 VW Golf 1.6 S

 

I also need to sell at least one of these, but I don't really know which.  There are pros and cons for keeping both.  So, whichever sells first I'll let go and, probably, keep the other, for now.
 
7cvfcj7.jpg
 
Omega:  MOT September.
99,999 miles.  If you're very, very quick you can experience the thrill* of seeing it tick over 100k miles.
 
Previous owner had it for fourteen years and I have every old invoice from his custodianship, so full history and verifiable mileage.  Drives very nicely, is clean inside and out and, again: Velour.  
 
Exterior scrubs up very nicely aside from some giffer scrapes on the bumpers and mirrors, which are really not noticeable from a few feet away.  There's just the start of a bit if rust coming through on the rear arches, but I don't think it's ever had any bodywork repairs.  Interior is almost mint aside from the passenger grab handle which has come apart and is taped together.
 
d3OVpkQ.jpg
 
Bad points:  It loses a little coolant and runs a little hotter than I would like, although never overheats.  Also, the heater is stone cold.  Internet wisdom suggest hgf is virtually unheard of on these so, a thorough flush of the cooling system, new heater bypass valve (supplied) and thermostat would hopefully restore proper service.  The crankcase breather system also needs cleaning out and I reckon it will benefit from an atf change.  If I keep it, I'll be doing all these things anyway.
 
O94YHoh.jpg
 
Shiteist price:  Roffled.
 
Oh yeah, it also has a towbar and twin electrics.  Cambelt not due for yonks.
 
 
 
Golf:  MOT May 2019.  Yes, over 12 months mot.
161,000 miles.
 
SeDM2l1.jpg
 
We've had our Golf over four years now and, because it's been my wife's car and not mine, it's pretty much wanted for nothing.
 
Last year it had a secondhand gearbox (apparently low mileage, but no evidence) and new clutch.  New throttle body earlier this year.  All the tyres are good (one was advised on the mot but, it's on the back, it'll last ages yet).  Regular oil changes by yours truly.  New plugs last week.
 
Exterior very presentable;  a few small dents and scrapes as you'd expect.  I've even taken a clay bar to it in living memory.
 
Inside is clean and tidy, if VAG dark.  Only let down by the scratched-up soft-touch plastics that this era of motor were afflicted with.
 
Engine light is on, but has been nearly all the time we've had it.  It always passes the emissions test.  I suspect a genuine lambda-sonde might help.  Rocker cover leaks so needs a drop of oil now and again.  The interior lights don't work; common problem relating to the door control modules inside the doors.  Everything else works including the 6-CD changer in the boot.
 
Shiteist price:  Sold.
 
Cambelt also not due for yonks.
 
 
Sorry for the long post.  I can be contacted directly on ZeroSeven double-8 O 9 1 O O twenty four.
 
Cheers, Ceri.
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Might have a few contacts re tacho fitting plus I'm sometime at a loss for things to do and I'd get my arse into gear and get my digi card if it was any use to you.

 

Thanks.  I'd be very interested to know of anywhere that can shave a few quid off the price of fitting the tacho.

 

And, if you'd be interested, I'll bear you in mind if - down the line - I feel I could use someone to 'keep the wheels turning' so I can have a holiday!

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In Coventry just round the corner from you. I'll be off soon after my operation so always up for a trip out. Many years of experience in dodging Vosa weigh bridges! Would a van not be better for towing? Then you'd also have the option of the odd side load of throw a motorbike in the back etc. Can remember using a new smiley face transit twin wheel van towing trailers and it was a beast in its day. 

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Good luck! You do know a tachometer is required for trailer work? It's not an easy game, but some folk seem good at making it work. I wasn't one of them...

Not if you are pulled over in a non sign written vehicle and don't mention you are doing it for cash...

 

You don't need a CPC for private work either...

 

Same as if you have a scrap car on and get pulled. It isn't scrap officer, it's a restoration project so no i don't need a waste transfer licence...

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Sadly, I have nothing to offer in terms of advice or taking on any of your fleet, but all the very best of luck in your disposals and in your new venture. One thing this place does utilise is shite-friendly transporter services... so you've a ready market at your fingertips, as it were.

 

GLWTS!!

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Tachometer optional.  Tachograph compulsory.

 

But, pedantry aside, yes mate, I do.

 

£1700 for the tacho and fitting; £300 for the download hardware and software and £32 for a company card from DVLA.

 

Hence the sales!

 

Sodding autocorrect! That's what I get for browsing the forum during an MOT test...

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My old 900 Turbo had similar running issues. It turned out to be all the tiny bore vacuum pipes that run to the boost controller and whatnot. Never did get it to run right, and never gelled with it. Eventually scrapped it when the exhaust fell off at the downpipe in the outskirts of Vienna, and got on a plane home instead.

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I've got a really good car transporter I'd consider selling for about a grand, you can put anything on it and I have!!!

 

The only thing it really needs is a winch, I almost sold it a few years back for £1700 but I broke the winch the day I was to take it over to the buyer (dropped a load of heavy planks on top and broke the case, idiot me) but he desperately needed it the next day, gutted.

 

I'm paying storage on it now and truthfully time is money to me nowadays so I'm better simply paying people (like yourself) to move cars around for me as and when.

 

It's a Polish/Czech built one that every Polish or Czech person uses, twin axle, super strong things. In fact the guy who last delivered a car for me had exactly the same one!!!

 

Hit me back if it's any good to you.

 

Ps as a business you'll do ok, I did the same for a while when I lost my garage, could make an easy £1-200 a day after all was said and done plus it was nice to get to see a few new parts of the country.

 

A few tips,

Don't get fucked about by people offering to pay when the job is done, ALWAYS without fail get paid in advance, saves a ton of hassle. I once sold a peice of shit Suzuki SJ (not mine) and when I dropped it off the buyer tried to reject it (don't blame him really) and subsequently tried to get his delivery money back as well. I pointed out he needed to take it up with the seller and not me as I was only delivering it and the cash he had paid in was already spent. After a bit of time back and forth on the phone to the seller he was ok with it but if I'd been collecting the delivery money there and then it could have got sticky.

 

Always do the mileage from your door to the drop off/collection, I've had a few people try and get money off by quoting me mileage from their door to door not mine, can make a huge difference.

 

Always take a good booster pack and have a good winch, saves hours of hassle.

 

Contact with both parties is essential, don't take the word of one party or another, can you get access at anytime, can you get a trailer in and out of the collection/delivery address?

 

I'm probably teaching you to stuck eggs but these are just a few of the hassle items I had when doing it.

 

Also a 4x4 and trailer is a good idea, avoid vans,a lot don't tow as much as you'd think plus they've generally had a hammering unless your putting big money into it. Also if your out in the dark the cops hate it and tend to pull you all the time and that's without the trailer and car on the back.

 

I used a few vehicles and found a Jeep grand Cherokee LPG was great along with my Merc Ml, nice and comfy plus you don't get stuck in the snow which is where you can make lots of ££££££ from people who've had bumps but don't have fully comp etc.

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Good advice vaughant :)

 

I too can help out with advice/insurance contacts etc if you need anything...

 

Make sure you carry relative goods in transit insurance to the correct value depending on what your carrying (up to £50k seems to be the norm) - mine is more but thats because I have a customer I move £400k Lamborghinis for etc etc.

 

Also make sure you have public liability insurance.

 

May seem like a lot of upfront expense but I assure you do it the right way and you won’t come unstuck.

 

Lastly, Stay well away from Shiply and the like. These are NOT my type of customers as all that is important to them is price alone and I pride myself on my level of service, punctuality, meticulous communication throughout (hell if you had my £20k motor I’d want updates throughout as I don’t know you from Adam) and you will find yourself travelling the country for peanuts. I am not the cheapest but if you want the job done right first time then ultimately you get what you pay for...

 

Just message me if you want to pick brains etc.

 

I’m sure you’ll be fine.

 

 

 

James

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I've got a really good car transporter I'd consider selling for about a grand, you can put anything on it and I have!!!

 

Quoting because I've pm'd you about this but you don't seem to have read it...  Would like more details, if poss!

 

 

Thanks, by the way, to all who've made encouraging noises and offered advice re the business venture.  Very much appreciated.

 

 

Also, 

 

BUMP!  Plz purchase my chod.  kthxbai.

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