Dearest shite fondlers,
After months and years of dreaming I've finally packed my job in and am preparing to go self-employed. My area of business will be the dynamic, stimulating and probably totally non-lucrative game of car transportation, vehicle delivery and general shitelying. I know others on here have done this, with varying degrees of success, but "He who dares, wins, Rodney". And, if it all goes tits up, there's plenty of work around here for steering-wheel attendants so, I can always go back to that and never have to wonder, 'what if?'.
So, to clear the ground - literally - I need to make room on the drive. No pikey beavertail for me. It'll be a 4wd and a trailer... Cash is needed, but space is more neededer! Help me out by buying my old crocks!
1. 1988 Saab 900 Turbo.
232,000 miles. No mot.
I bought this a few years ago from jonathan_dyane of this parish. It was running well when I first had it and it was my daily for quite a while. Unfortunately, I am a terrible owner and it has deteriorated considerably. When I moved house and got myself a garage and drive I figured I'd have more opportunity to tinker with it - maybe learn a bit about K-Jet - but it's been a year now and I haven't touched it.
What's wrong with it? Lots.
It starts but won't run. The fuel is perhaps stale, but there's more to it than that. It's misfiring and, although I can get it to keep going by modulating the throttle, it won't idle at all.
Prior to this I was having increasing trouble starting it when warm (suspected duff fuel pump relay), but generally was OK from cold.
There is at least one leaky coolant pipe (I cut it over-short as a temporary* measure) and the expansion tank weeps a bit.
Power steering leaks.
Exhaust manifold leaks.
Vibration when driving at speed; probably driveshaft inner cv joints.
Sunroof leaks. Gaffer-tape repair* failed over the winter and the carpets became sodden. They are (very slowly) drying out at the minute. [edit: recent sunny weather has dries them out a treat.]
No headlining (pro: makes the leaky sunroof easier to fix were anyone ever to get that far).
Bodywork is poor. It's had a bodgetastic respray at some point in the past that is now very much showing through. Doors and wings are particularly bad; there is structural newspaper under some of the once-shiny paint. Bonnet is not too rusty though, although the paint finish is now awful. I haven't inspected the structure, but presumably it would need a bit of sparkle stick action for an mot. I had one jacking point done before the last mot (in 2016) as a precaution.
What's right with it?
Four good Firestone tyres that, hopefully, won't have flat-spotted as it has been rolled around occasionally.
New exhaust from manifold back.
Some of the electrics actually work. (Mirrors and at least three windows.)
It's actually pretty clean and tidy inside, despite a damp carpet. Not a bad place to sit and make brum-brum noises as it rots around you on your drive.
Joking aside it would make a decent summer project for someone with a bit of time and who knows what they're doing. I have no idea what I'm doing, which is why it's got to this state. Obviously it can't be driven but I am more than willing to help with loading/towing. I will even tow it home for someone if I can get the lend of an a-frame.
Shiteist price: £249.99.
However, it absolutely has to go, and I would rather someone on here bid me right down than let it go for scrap.
Location: Coventry. M6 junction 2.
2. 1999 Vauxhall Omega 2.5 V6 CD
3. 2000 VW Golf 1.6 S