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E39 Brown Trout (tm) ROFFLE BACK OFF.


Jim Bell

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This thread is channeling Hendry quite well.

Harry Fairbairn is the BMW dealer in Inverness which is a front for Arnold Clark. Can't have BMW customers buying cars from the same dealer brand as Peugeot or Renault customers.

For many years Inverness dealer was Calterdon - an independent agent and one of the smallest in the UK. Calum, Terry and Donny were the brothers that started it and derived the name.

Always had great service from them when I was in Inverness.

 

Bought a number of cars off them including UBL 44Y.

 

Shame the dealer belongs to AC now.......

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Having only one key at the moment I decided to make the best of it till I can get another cut and coded by BavarianShitter.

 

The old key is well worn? Split and cracked on the rubber.

 

 

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So.........

 

 

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This is wiggedy wiggedy wack.

 

 

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So we do the inproves.

 

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The rubber took a bit of trimming eith a Fairbairn-Sykes to make room enough for the chip to sit flush enough to close the case.

 

 

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Proof is in the pudding so gave it a bash.

 

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Works grand thank fuck.

 

56p improvement. Buttons are now far more positive and direct. Looks better too. Us BMW keepers are vain pricks.

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Good grief man. You don't mean to say that previously you had to approach the car, extend your arm and unlock the car manually via one of the door locks, like a bastard?

No man, my dailly ordeal wasnt THAT dire. I did have to mash at the buttons a few times and a bit harder than is probably advisable though.

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I have to do that with my SVX because the previous owner took the central locking module out.

 

*unlock the door manually rather than getting buggered.

Ive no real issue using a key as its infidelity more reliable. For some reason though, the last three cars Ive had set the alarms off if you open the door with the key, even if theyve been locked with the key. Alarm siren turns off if you put the key in ign but I still give myself a right bad fright.

 

Shitty "feature" IMO.

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Been annoying me.

 

Part of the emergency warning triangle kit from inside the boot? You're meant to assemble it or fold it out or something in the event of a breakdown.

Reminds me a bit of one which was with my e34 when I first bought it.

I threw it away. For reliability. Never broke down once in 10 years. True.

L118 UOW RIP.

 

But it maybe looks a bit small for that. Could it be part of the door-catch / locking mechanism?

Or a shower-head holder? That was an option I'd never seen on a 5-series. Fucking ace that. Have a quick shower in the car park or use it to wash the car.

Could be man. I assumed it was summat from inside the rear drivers door. Its stowed safely in the boot in case it turns out to be of use.

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Could be man. I assumed it was summat from inside the rear drivers door. Its stowed safely in the boot in case it turns out to be of use.

Could be the rod connecting the door lock button (or whatever you call the thing on top of the card)? Does all of this stuff work?

 

And I'll gladly take you up on that offer to have a look at the car. Even though my E39 is manual, and its been a while since I sold my auto 728i (so not sure of how much of use I'll be in that regard...).

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It was ever thus, the steering wheel was sans traces of narve agent but the remote key blippers looked well dosed.

 

Proverb #5 from the shitters handbook........"It is brave man who doth fondle with single old key before having obtained a working second"

 

I reckon you have deffo gained more on the swings than you have lost of the roundabouts with regard to recent car shenanigans

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Took the trout out for its first real distance run today.

I taped up the rear window for now and hit the petrol station.

 

Supplies for me.

 

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Supplies for the car.

 

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Ouch.

 

 

 

 

Reset trip meter for mpg calculations down the road.

 

 

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And off we went to the next county up. Drive was grand and the trout kicked upstream like a trooper.

 

 

 

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A half a day crawling around a shed later, and I have a boot full of precious treasure.

 

 

 

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My dads tools all need to be properly sorted and sold. A lifetimes collection with reciepts for all he bought.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Couldnt get the cabinets in the E39 but the cavernous boot swallowed most of the tools.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Slammed.

 

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The car wasnt as happy on the return leg when fully laden. Im pretty sure the box is slipping a bit, especially when cold, so a box service is now firmly on the cards.

 

 

Made it back home and the onboard LIE-O-TRON reckons at over 30mpgs.

 

If thats true, Ill be happy enough.

 

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Actual mpg man maths to be concluded at next refill.

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It has an engine.

 

Big one too.

 

Not that big though.

 

 

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Top car find.... The Abs unit not having a heatshield and being right next to that exhaust has borked quite a few of these cars. Evil Bay still likes to recommend another look at abs units every few days.

 

Sent from my F8331 using Tapatalk

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That's a great collection of tools. Can't you keep some for yourself WW?

I could, but its not my "estate" unfortunately. Theres value in them and the family want to split that.

 

My own small Halfords Proffesional set is still clean and barely opened so Im absolutely sure that Id never ever touch most of this stuff if I kept it all.

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