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Shirley Knott's Evil Web Of Shite - Volvo gets a clean sheet MOT, now on to wheel trims, thermostat and brakes revisited


Shirley Knott

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They’re not too bad to actually change, on paper at least. The trouble I had was more down to the lack of space up under the dash and the fact mine was seized solid. Having to work upside down to do it with drips of coolant falling on you and running down your arms doesn’t help either.

To get better access I stripped out most of the lower dash, drivers side, and moved various things under the dash out the way. Then took out the drivers seat and stripped out the pedals. Mine was an auto so only had two pedals but they still got in the way.

Removing the seat means you can lay on your back on the cars floor easily, laying with your head up where the pedals go looking straight up under the dash.

 

Your car being much newer than mine, hopefully you won’t have this issue. But after stripping everything out on mine I found a rusty stain on the bulkhead/heel board panel just near where the brake pedal was...

Yep, I poked it and it went through leaving a 50p size hole through into the engine bay! So I had to do some carefull and fuc*ing awkward cutting and welding aswell before I could refit the new valve and all the other crap.

Fingers crossed yours will be ok though.

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Right, whilst waiting for bits to turn up to allow me to try and cobble together an improvised repair for my heater control valve, I thought I'd get cracking with the half leather seats bought last weekend.

 

The reason I'd bought the seats was that the cloth originals had started so come apart at the stitching again despite having had them repaired last summer. TBF the upholsterer had warned me that the material was terrible and not worth the effort but at the time I wouldn't be told, serves me right really.

 

The 'new' replacements were properly filthy and also had what looked like paint/rust marks all over them, so much so I was slightly reluctant to buy them at the time because of the state they were in...

 

 

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I thought I'd have a punt on them as they were mega cheap obviously he who dares wins and all that. Also I had a secret weapon, we've recently bought a carpet cleaner with a fairly impressive wet and dry shampoo attachment. Tools were assembled....

 

 

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I've never really bothered cleaning seats before but after seeing the results I think I'm converted, I knew they were dirty but was slightly taken aback by the level of muck that came out of them...

 

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When all was said and done they came up very nicely indeed, amazingly even the bit that looked like paint had been splashed over it came up nicely...

 

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I've had the seats in and out of the 940 so many times now that I've got it down to a fine art, swapping them over didn't take long at all!

 

Before...

 

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After...

 

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Whilst leather seats are better suited to a chap of my elevated social standing, disappointingly I actually prefer the original seats! They have the 90's airport lounge chic that I often reference and enjoy so much in cars of this era, but alas they were shite and would have continued to split at the seams until they became an eyesore. At least the part leather jobbies seem much tougher and better made so it's a good result of sorts.

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Nice work.

That shitty water looks rank! Amazing how much shift can come out of a seat. Makes you wonder what all that dirt actually is... maybe better not thinking about that actually!

 

I did the carpets with a wet vac in my old mk2 Granada and it came out much the same. They looked like new afterwards but it took a good few sunny warm days to dry out. I’d like to have a good go at the carpets in my Volvo this summer.

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The new ones kind have the best of both worlds.  Fabric in the middle so you dont burn the small of your back when you get into the car after its sat in the sun all day on a sunny afternoon when your shirt rides up a bit, and leather at the edges so everyone knows immediately that youre not a vegan.

 

Perfect combo!

 

Looks great too.

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That shitty water looks rank! Amazing how much shift can come out of a seat. Makes you wonder what all that dirt actually is... maybe better not thinking about that actually!

 

 

Yup, I try hard not to think about it. 

 

Carpet cleaners are class, this is my first and the novelty has nowhere near warn off yet. Pretty much anything that stands still for more than 2 minutes gets the wet and dry treatment at present so it was only a matter of time until the cars started to see some Bissel love.

 

 

The new ones kind have the best of both worlds.  Fabric in the middle so you dont burn the small of your back when you get into the car after its sat in the sun all day on a sunny afternoon when your shirt rides up a bit, and leather at the edges so everyone knows immediately that youre not a vegan.

 

 

Agreed, but completely lacking in airport lounge goodness.

 

As mentioned the originals were much cooler, but if it comes at the cost of them falling to pieces as I sat on them (Literally) then it's counter intuitive

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I bought one of those wet and dry Henry vacuum cleaners late last year. It tends to pull remarkable amount of crap out of any car I have and in the house too.

 

 

It's pretty satisfying seeing the muck that comes out isn't it?

 

For some reason I hadn't given any thought to using it on car upholstery until now but the results speak for themselves. Those seats looked almost ready for a skip and yet came out looking fairly decent after a good clean.

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With much trepidation tomorrow I will attempt to work out an alternative to the leaking heater control valve of much unobtanium.

 

Bits assembled...

 

 

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Parts are as follows:

 

1 X Aftermarket Mk1 Golf heater control valve (Meyle)

1 X Kit Car brass bodied heater control valve

2 X  500mm of 16mm ID/23mm OD heater hose

4 X 16mm OD straight junctions

2 X 90 degree 16mm OD elbows

1 X 23mm ID large bush 

A plethora of decent hose clips and spring clamps of the correct size

 

Total spend is circa £45 so less then half of what a replacement valve would have costed if they still existed, and they don't so I've got nothing to loose really...

 

I'm not sure which valve I'll go with although I like the idea of a brass jobbie as opposed to plastic, I'm also unsure whether I'll aim to fit the new valve in the original location behind the clutch pedal or look to relocate it in the engine bay which on the face of it would make much more sense.

 

RE cables, I work with a chap who restores 60's motorbikes, he's agreed to extend and/or fabricate a cable to run from the heater control in the cabin should some modification be required so that's that sorted. Something that's bugging me slightly is that the original valve appears to have two cables running from it, I know one of them opens and closes the heater valve itself (It's just a tap really) but literally haven't got a clue what the other cable does? I recon it's to perhaps open some kind of vent flap but who knows...

 

Either way I've got no choice other than to give it a go, what could possibly go wrong?

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Now you say that, but remember I'm going in blind and this shit is engineering. My propensity to fuck it up/make things worse is immense...

 

My experience of dealing with heater valves extends to a Ford Ka a decade ago, the valve on that was easily accessible from a fitting and also a purchasing  perspective.

 

I shall not lie, I am filled with deep existential dread about what horrors await me tomorrow.

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The Volvo is now almost sorted after cobbling things together.

 

Clutch pedal had to come out as Dan mentioned...

 

 

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After that the slave cylinder and mounting bracket for the pedal were also removed giving better access to the control valve as can be seen here in this sweaty potato cam shot (Yes, that was the best I could do)...

 

 

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It turns out that there's a kind of plastic housing that sits in front of the original valve that's responsible for operating the the two cables. The upper cable with an eyelet appears to operate a flap somewhere in the vent system as when working it back and forth a definite 'thunk' sound can be heard as a vent opens/closes, the lower cable is controlled by the temperature dial in the cabin and operates the valve itself opening and closing it to allow hot coolant to flow through.

 

The process from this point onwards presented some problems. Neither of the two valves offered pipework of a sufficient length to reach far enough through the firewall to connect a hose to. Luckily I spotted a bung/blank just underneath the original recess, I removed said bung, made a 20mm hole in the middle and routed the hose from the bay through it and into the cabin, the fit is very snug indeed so no worries about it allowing anything through. Here you can see the new valve in situ, look slightly above the valve and it's also clear to see the small hole left over from the old valves original location (I shall source a bung for the hole ASAP)...

 

 

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To compound matters both of the valves had clamps for the cables located on the wrong side meaning that if I'd used them it would have left me with the cold setting blowing hot and the hot setting blowing cold, also the upper cable is too short to reach the valve in it's new location. All in all a day of multiple niggles as mentioned, however I can now adjust the heat manually by reaching under and moving the valve, it works well an most importantly it doesn't leak and as such will stop the steady stream of antifreeze to the footwell!  If I was lazy I could simply leave the valve as it is without the cables attached and adjust the valve to 'hot' through the winter and then back to 'cold' for the summer. Frankly I can't live like that though, so my next task will be to devise a system to make the cables work as they should, after that it's job jobbed.

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Looks a decent job to sort the initial problem out. Hopefully with some new cable and/or brackets it should work well off the dash switch and you’d never know!

 

I don’t think mine, or my old saloon have that second cable and the housing thing over the valve. Maybe the heater unit is different on the early cars?

 

It’s a swine of a place to try to work in though isn’t it!! I remember getting very frustrated with the last one I did.

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WOOOOOAAAAAAH YOURE HALFWAY THERE!

WOOOOOOOAAAH ITS NOT LEAKIN UNDER THERE!

 

HOT OR COLD, SELECT IT AND SWEAR!

 

JUST REEEACH DOWN UNDER THEEEEERE!

 

Bon Jovi.  1993.

 

I'm a grumpy, world weary, surly man. Not many things can raise a smile from me these days but than genuinely did the job! Literally chortling away...

 

 

Looks a decent job to sort the initial problem out. Hopefully with some new cable and/or brackets it should work well off the dash switch and you’d never know!

 

I don’t think mine, or my old saloon have that second cable and the housing thing over the valve. Maybe the heater unit is different on the early cars?

 

It’s a swine of a place to try to work in though isn’t it!! I remember getting very frustrated with the last one I did.

 

I'm not sure RE differences between early and late cars TBH, the job was thoroughly unpleasant though and as you mentioned deeply frustrating.  

 

The housing is a weird contraption, the upper cable relies purely on the action of the lever to operate it and opens whatever flap it controls in response to the valve being opened. Working out a system to make it all work cables wise won't be easy but it can be a slow burner, the leak is fixed so that's the main thing.

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  • 2 weeks later...

And wait for it....

 

Before I'd even had chance to start bodging together cables to adapt the new heater control valve the 940 appears to have managed to shit itself again.

 

Despite a week or so of driving round with paper towels cable tied around the valve to ensure it wasn't leaking and enjoying what seemed to be complete success for a prolonged period of time, I jumped in the car after a weeks layup today to nip out and collect a bike I'd won on Ebay for the wee man and found the paper towels around the new valve soaking wet, carpet too. Clearly it's not shitting itself publicly and has decided it's better to wait until no-one's watching and then shit itself in private while no one's in the car to see it, presumably as pressure builds up.

 

I've had a feel around the matrix, it's definitely dry around (And underneath) that so I can only assume that either the new valve is leaking, the hoses are leaking, or I haven't nipped up or seated the hoses properly. Arghh.

 

This kind of caper might have been fine when I was 26, but is in no way appreciated or fun to deal with at this stage in my life. It's times like this that modern car ownership seems more and more appealing... I've pulled the carpets up on that side of the car again, tomorrow I shall cover the floor under the valve, all around the valve and also the valve itself in talcum powder and then allow the car to idle for as long as it takes to show where it's coming from.

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Aye, it's properly shit.

 

Years and years with MX5's, most of them as old or older than this 940 and all of them combined didn't create nearly as much grief. Don't get me wrong, I love the car, people stop you and want to talk to you about etc and it feels great to sit in and drive but at the moment I'm struggling to find my mojo TBH. Either way I shall fight the good fight and sort this mess out and then decide how the land lays. I have the will and the tools to do it and eventually I'm sure that I can sort it out but seriously, I'm wondering if life isn't too short.

 

My old man bought a 1.5DCI Duster with circa 300 miles on the clock last year for a smidge under £10k, it does 50 mpg, causes no grief and assuming it's worth £4k in 5 years time with 50k on the clock the it'll have cost £100-ish a month. Makes you think...

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Arse!

I’ve been there myself dude! I love old cars but now and again I do wonder wtf I’m doing pissing about with them like I do.

Thing is, I just can’t drive the same boring shit as everyone else! And I actually enjoy doing it most of the time. It’s my hobby and I get a lot out of having cool old cars and keeping them going, even improving them from just an old knackered nail into something nice or classic.

I’ve learnt that when it’s pissing you off it’s time to put tools down, and walk away. Have a rest and do something else. I got properly wound up with my Capri last year, and just shoved it into the garage for a few months and forgot about it. Just today, I revisited that same issue that made me throw a hissy fit last year and with renewed enthusiasm and a clear head, I fixed the problem easily and quickly!

 

Hopefully it’ll be a simple fix for you with this.

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Right, despite my brave talk last night about leaving things be and walking away for a bit the Volvo is sat down the side of the house taunting like a giant turquoise scab and I can't help picking at it.

 

I've nipped up the hose clamps a bit more tightly, covered everything in talc including under the matrix and all round the valve, associated pipework and the floor below. The car has been running at idle with the occasional rev here and there for well over an hour now. It seems to be holding temperature well and confusingly hasn't created so much as a single drip drip.

 

 

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The motor is still running as I type making this something of a live update, it's a waiting game at this stage. Lets see how long it takes for this ungrateful Swedish bastard to give up it's secrets....

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^ I wish!

 

The 940 lives under a carport so doesn't really see rain, also the stuff in the footwell is blue, feels greasy and tastes of antifreeze. 

 

An hour and a half now and it's still idling outside without showing any traces of leakage... Just patiently sitting it out at present until such a time as it gives up it's secrets and bursts/shows exactly where it's shitting itself from.

 

It's like waiting for a firework to go off but infinitely less exciting and with an added element of dread/disappointment involved.

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^ I wish!

 

The 940 lives under a carport so doesn't really see rain, also the stuff in the footwell is blue, feels greasy and tastes of antifreeze.

 

An hour and a half now and it's still idling outside without showing any traces of leakage... Just patiently sitting it out at present until such a time as it gives up it's secrets and bursts/shows exactly where it's shitting itself from.

 

It's like waiting for a firework to go off but infinitely less exciting and with an added element of dread/disappointment involved.

Have you given the controls a wiggle in case it’s caused by it being in a particular position?

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Yup, valve has been worked through various positions.

 

It'll have been running for 2 hours at 12:00 (5 minutes time) without any signs of leaking. Very confusing.... At that stage I'm going to knock the engine off and wait to see if the pressure continues to build causing it to shat itself later on.

 

Who knows what's going on. As mentioned it's all very confusing.

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