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Zafira A. *fuk this car*

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319 replies to this topic

#61 ONLINE   oldcars

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 09:23 AM

We headed west and skirted through Gateshead and over into Newcastle. Traffic was a bit shit so we trundled steadily and discussed current events and politics. This somehow caused a great cramping of the guts which quickly melted into a ferocious need to evacuate my bowels. I had to stop the car and run around like an angry goose looking desperately for a public shithouse.

I found one.

attachicon.gif20180212_102059.jpg



Follows is my Trip Advisor review:

I found the public conveniences located in the Grainger Town multi storey car park most convenient. The environment was light and airy, the door lock snapped shut with a reassuring CLACK and I did enjoy the smell of exhaust fumes and the sound of passing vehicles while I made mess at some length. The tap water was hot, the handsoap was effective and the hand dryer though loud, was effective. The whole experience was marred only by the quality of the tissue paper, which yielded to my digit far too readily for my liking. The smell, though atrocious, was to be expected and mostly of my own making.

3.5 stars. Would poop again.



All the unpleasantness concluded, we were back on the road.


Time: 10:16.
Direction: West.
Speed: Hammer down.
Starsign: Sagitarius
Poop count: Duo.

Sad times indeed. Sorting out all his belongings will be hard, hope you get on ok with it.

 

On a more happy note your shiteadvisor review is total class.  :mrgreen:



#62 OFFLINE   brownnova

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 09:32 AM

Glad to see you're dealing with the sad news in the best way possible... humour and car collections. Still, sorry to hear of your loss.

On hound anal glands...

Our whippet went through a spell of anal gland stench, a food that led to firmer stool was the answer and we've had no issues for several years now.

Hounds rule.
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#63 OFFLINE   Tadhg Tiogar

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 11:13 AM

I don't think wearing a comedy stick on beard is appropriate given the solemn circumstances


Some people laugh to hide the tears.
F*ck your Honda Civic, I've a horse outside,
F*ck your Subaru, I have a horse outside.
And f*ck your Mitsubishi, I've a horse outside,
If you're lookin' for a ride, I've got a horse outside

#64 OFFLINE   WilsonWilson

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 12:27 PM

Lots of trips to charity shops and the tip today. Its definately a workhorse.

Heres what it looks like emptied.
Oooooo seven seats.

20180213_120319.jpg



Cup holder rear armrest. Folds away.


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20180213_120627.jpg





20180213_120635.jpg
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#65 OFFLINE   WilsonWilson

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 12:32 PM

Me dad seemed to have a thing about boot carpets. There was two in the 318 and theres two plus a protector in the Zaff.


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Just realised that theres loads more stuff to shift. Maybe should have left the seats down.

Palmface.
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#66 OFFLINE   beko1987

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 12:35 PM

Just flip the middle seat base up and slide it all forward!

My gooner has a nice bit of lounge carpet cut perfectly in the boot, need to shampoo it as its filthy, but the carpet underneath is spotless!
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2001 Gooner2 Ph1 1.9Dci Expression (His)
2008 orl Vauxhalls r Shit Zafira 1.8 SRI 140 (Hers)

#67 ONLINE   tooSavvy

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 12:43 PM

WW.. "Palmface"

*note to self* Use kwalitee looroll ;)

Unstick Palmface

Keep rockinn on m8


TS
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Wallsend?.....it's not the End of the Walled ;<)

35942490325_0815d58667.jpgSUCKS


#68 ONLINE   BorniteIdentity

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 02:33 PM

Me dad seemed to have a thing about boot carpets. There was two in the 318 and theres two plus a protector in the Zaff.


attachicon.gif20180213_120659.jpg

 

 

My Dad has had the same piece of carpet in the boot of his cars since 1987.  It's been through a Sierra, a Mondeo, an Accord, a CRV, a Mazda 6 and a Seat Leon - it's now in another Mazda 6!  He also uses it to stop his drum kit moving around when he's gigging.  I've got dibs on that when he declares, along with the private numberplate I got him last year.


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#69 OFFLINE   WilsonWilson

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 02:58 PM

My Dad has had the same piece of carpet in the boot of his cars since 1987.  It's been through a Sierra, a Mondeo, an Accord, a CRV, a Mazda 6 and a Seat Leon - it's now in another Mazda 6!  He also uses it to stop his drum kit moving around when he's gigging.  I've got dibs on that when he declares, along with the private numberplate I got him last year.

 

I was nodding along until I got to DRUM KIT and GIGGING.

 

Your dads a gigging percussionist? 

 

Thats class! I bet hes cool as fuck.  Hope the carpet is some zany patterned AXMISTER or something.

 

Pics pls!


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#70 OFFLINE   WilsonWilson

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 03:09 PM

Being up in the wilds, my dad tended to keep the cars as full of fuel as he could. Theres only one "filling station" in the village and its as basic as you can get. A pez pump, a diesel pump an a woman sat on a three legged stool with a leather satchel containing loose change.

Now that the Zaff is a big city runabout, as a WELCUM 2 YOR NEU HOME gift I decided to treat it to its first meal out.

20180213_134429(0).jpg




Sexy numbers. Beat THAT Rachel Riley.


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Luckily theres a couple of LPG friendly filling stations local to me. Pops used to have an 70 odd mile round trip to fill up with gas. Which made it a rather pointless fuel choice but he liked it because it "saved him money".
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#71 OFFLINE   WilsonWilson

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 03:16 PM

Nice rims m8. R them Ronald's,

20180213_142407.jpg


Hang on a ruddy minute.



20180213_142516.jpg


These arnt alloys at all. Theyre crazy spoked steels with wheel trimz on.


Cool points just went up by 69.9% nice.
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#72 OFFLINE   WilsonWilson

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 03:18 PM

Luckilly theres a few of these too. Seems my dad liked to have winter wheels and summer wheels. Like some kind of Frenchman.

20180213_145347.jpg

Theyre very clean and the tyres look nearly new so Im over the moon to have a set to rotate on.
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#73 OFFLINE   loserone

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 03:22 PM

That's AMAZING!


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405 with no head, Leaf, 206 GTI with a knackered axle, Legacy H6 Spec B.

Moaty's cat's back, Zak.


#74 OFFLINE   WilsonWilson

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 03:22 PM

Last job of the afternoon was to clear out the cabin so that a half arsed vallet can begin. Once the rain stopped.

Its safe to say that he only carried the absolute essentials.

20180213_143955.jpg


Mpg might jump up a bit now Ive shed a bit of weight.


He would hate to think of me throwing away working pens but life has to move on.
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#75 OFFLINE   beko1987

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 03:43 PM

Nice paperclip m8
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#76 OFFLINE   Tamworthbay

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 04:05 PM

I wonder if the Arnold Clark and Samaritans key fobs were always given out together?
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#77 OFFLINE   WilsonWilson

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 04:33 PM

I wonder if the Arnold Clark and Samaritans key fobs were always given out together?


If not, I know which one came first.
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#78 OFFLINE   taxi paul

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 04:39 PM

Sorry for your loss. But through the fun I can't help thinking how many of our kids will be writing the same about us when we go to the garage in the sky...I seem to have loads of shite in my car. I also like a zafira or two.
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#79 OFFLINE   bezzabsa

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 04:48 PM

the pop rivet is the radio removal tool!!!


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#80 OFFLINE   Hendry

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 04:48 PM

The wheels on it are 'structure' steel wheels, likely off a Zafira B.

 

The alloys look like ones off a Vectra C Club model, racking my brains trying to think what wheels were on a late Zafira Elegance, I think they were the same ones as fitted to later mk4 Astra SXis, 10 spoke ones. 

 

I notice the front mudflaps have trapped moisture and started rusting the paint on the wings. 


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#81 OFFLINE   beko1987

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 04:59 PM


I notice the front mudflaps have trapped moisture and started rusting the paint on the wings.


Scrap it
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#82 OFFLINE   WilsonWilson

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 05:04 PM

I notice the front mudflaps have trapped moisture and started rusting the paint on the wings.


The 10pts for the observation round go to Hendry.

I noticed ages before you but I dont like going on about it.
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#83 ONLINE   madrat

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 05:09 PM

Now close your eyes and think of a Vauxhall Zafira.

 

What is the first single word that comes to mind?

 

 

 

 

attachicon.gif20180212_125938.jpg

 

 

 

 

Thats right.

 

Correct.

 

Well played.

FIRE


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#84 OFFLINE   Christine

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 09:34 PM

You must have missed the  pin in the side of the sunvisor fer poking out washer jets...

  Sorry for your loss WW


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#85 OFFLINE   WilsonWilson

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 09:42 PM

Ha! I didnt even look. I will now though. They ARE aimed a bit low.

#86 OFFLINE   stuboy

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 10:01 PM

arnt these flex 7 seating?


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#87 OFFLINE   loserone

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Posted 13 February 2018 - 10:03 PM

You must have missed the  pin in the side of the sunvisor fer poking out washer jets...

What a bloody brilliant idea, how have I never heard of that before now?


405 with no head, Leaf, 206 GTI with a knackered axle, Legacy H6 Spec B.

Moaty's cat's back, Zak.


#88 OFFLINE   WilsonWilson

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Posted 16 February 2018 - 02:56 PM

Gave this a good clean today, inside and out. Even did the glass. Not to pro or even two bucket barmpot standard, I just got the filth off it.

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Cleaning it uncovered a rather impressive parking badge. Pops did like to park it right up against the wall. Or ON IT, as it seems.


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Im locked out of the in car entertainment sadly. The car is quite laid back about this.

20180216_105243.jpg


Seems someone put the wrong code in MANY TIMES. Guess I'll just have to sing.
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#89 OFFLINE   WilsonWilson

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Posted 17 February 2018 - 09:54 PM

Fixed the radio with help from THE STUPID QUESTION AMNESTY THREAD and treated the Zaf to some sexy rubber floor mats that Stanky kindly donated.

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Car thanked me kindly by blowing a fart hole in its exhausting pipe on the way back from Northumberland.

Sounds like a disgruntled tractor now.

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Cheers car. You cocknob.

Adds exhaust to list of things to address. Along with mot and cooling issues.
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#90 OFFLINE   Stanky

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Posted 17 February 2018 - 10:25 PM

... treated the Zaf to some sexy rubber floor mats that Stanky kindly donated.

Car thanked me kindly by blowing a fart hole in its exhausing pipe on the way back from Northumberland.

Sounds like a disgruntled tractor now.

 

See, I told you those mats added loads of power didn't I? Poor exhaust just couldn't cope with TEH POWR


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