We headed west and skirted through Gateshead and over into Newcastle. Traffic was a bit shit so we trundled steadily and discussed current events and politics. This somehow caused a great cramping of the guts which quickly melted into a ferocious need to evacuate my bowels. I had to stop the car and run around like an angry goose looking desperately for a public shithouse.
I found one.
Follows is my Trip Advisor review:
I found the public conveniences located in the Grainger Town multi storey car park most convenient. The environment was light and airy, the door lock snapped shut with a reassuring CLACK and I did enjoy the smell of exhaust fumes and the sound of passing vehicles while I made mess at some length. The tap water was hot, the handsoap was effective and the hand dryer though loud, was effective. The whole experience was marred only by the quality of the tissue paper, which yielded to my digit far too readily for my liking. The smell, though atrocious, was to be expected and mostly of my own making.
3.5 stars. Would poop again.
All the unpleasantness concluded, we were back on the road.
Speed: Hammer down.
Poop count: Duo.
Sad times indeed. Sorting out all his belongings will be hard, hope you get on ok with it.
On a more happy note your shiteadvisor review is total class.