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What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread


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#50671 OFFLINE   richardmorris

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Posted 07 November 2018 - 09:10 PM

.

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#50672 ONLINE   DeeJay

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Posted 07 November 2018 - 09:49 PM

YrFMAwL.jpg


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#50673 OFFLINE   New POD

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 06:07 AM

I spent today working in a GP surgery that has a very tight car park, they were having a drop in flu vac session. I was able to observe a veritable cavalcade of giffer madness, impossible reversing, clutch burning and a stand off between a dacia something and a honda jizz that caused two 70 something dudes to get out of their cars and threatening to twat each other , Jizz owner decided to show who was boss when pulling out only to reverse by mistake and bump into a member of parliaments Audi Q ninety twelve.....Twas nearly the bestest day ever


You is mean. Nasty in fact. Enjoying the misery and mistakes of others. Welcome to my world. I shall call you friend.
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#50674 OFFLINE   Exiled_Tat_Gatherer

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 09:38 AM

I spent today working in a GP surgery that has a very tight car park, they were having a drop in flu vac session. I was able to observe a veritable cavalcade of giffer madness, impossible reversing, clutch burning and a stand off between a dacia something and a honda jizz that caused two 70 something dudes to get out of their cars and threatening to twat each other , Jizz owner decided to show who was boss when pulling out only to reverse by mistake and bump into a member of parliaments Audi Q ninety twelve.....Twas nearly the bestest day ever 

 

I'd have videod it...……… may shut the old bastards up when they complain of every other generation being violent, lack of manners, no respect etc... they truelly walk among us!


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#50675 OFFLINE   Ghosty

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 10:50 AM

Browsing Facebook brought up a Mail article showing that Katie Price is so broke she's driving round in a 51 plate Suzuki Vitara. How the mighty have fallen!
Of course, she couldn't help but have it wrapped pink.
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#50676 OFFLINE   davehedgehog31

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 11:13 AM

Browsing Facebook brought up a Mail article showing that Katie Price is so broke she's driving round in a 51 plate Suzuki Vitara. How the mighty have fallen!
Of course, she couldn't help but have it wrapped pink.

Someone should send her a link to the forum.


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#50677 OFFLINE   purplebargeken

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 11:34 AM

^^ Shudder


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#50678 ONLINE   somewhatfoolish

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 11:45 AM

I'm sure I have mentioned before that I'm a sucker for charity shops, endlessly filling my life with other people's discarded crap.
Today I couldn't resist this
attachicon.gif20181107_160643.jpg
A nice, boxed pewter tankard, why the grin? Imagine draining your beer to be greeted by this
attachicon.gif20181107_160613.jpg

I'm assuming it's a promotional item, possibly given to people to drown their sorrows having purchased a Vauxhall

It's like draining your beer and finding the King's shilling at the bottom; the horror! :D This requires recording for posterity on the giffer trinket and general tat thread.


post-9424-0-06631200-1530529320.jpg


#50679 ONLINE   clayts450

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 11:57 AM

Having to lie to children, in a nice way.

 

Neighbour's kid, about 4 or 5 yrs old, has often come and spraffed to me when I'm working on me chod. He took a liking to the 45. Observant kid noticed it wasn't around any more. His Dad was with him.

 

Kid : "Where's the red one gone ?"

Me (looks at Dad) : "Er, it's, er, gone to the farm"

(Dad nods his understanding)

Kid : "Why's it gone to the farm ?"

Me (looks at Dad for moral support): "Er..."

Dad : "I think he means it's gone to the hospital"

Kid: "Ah, okay then"

 

I'm dreading the next conversation. 


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Current

1992 Rover 214SLi; 1996 Rover 620 Si auto2004 Rover Streetwise S

 

Historical choddage (stopped driving 1999-2016)
1969 VW Beetle 1300;  1977 Morris Marina 1.3 Super; 1983 Skoda Estelle 120L; Rover Metro; Vauxhall CorsaVauxhall Cavalier ; 2001 Rover 45 V6 Connie (May to Oct 2018);

2003 Chrysler PT Cruiser CRD Limited (Jan 18 to Jan 19 - roffled off here)


#50680 OFFLINE   LightBulbFun

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 12:20 PM

obviously now you have to go out and buy another Red Rover 45 and hope the kid doesn't notice  :mrgreen:

 

on a more serious note I would of prolly been honest with the poor kid no point setting up false expectations that will only be dashed

 

(unless you do get another Rover 45 :) )


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#50681 OFFLINE   oldcars

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 03:44 PM

Browsing Facebook brought up a Mail article showing that Katie Price is so broke she's driving round in a 51 plate Suzuki Vitara. How the mighty have fallen!
Of course, she couldn't help but have it wrapped pink.

Just had a look. Mot expired on it October  :-o


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#50682 ONLINE   cort1977

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 03:52 PM

Having to lie to children, in a nice way.

 

 

 

Ha, that's an easy one.  Wait till they start asking 'well, how exactly does the sperm get in the mummy's tummy?'...


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#50683 OFFLINE   davehedgehog31

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 03:58 PM

Ha, that's an easy one.  Wait till they start asking 'well, how exactly does the sperm get in the mummy's tummy?'...

Can remember sitting watching Casualty at my Grans house, my wee brother turns round and utters "Gran, how does the baby fit out of the ladies bum?"

 

tenor.gif?itemid=4889458


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#50684 OFFLINE   SiC

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 03:59 PM

Just saw this rock up outside the office. A chap in his late 30s/early 40s was in it. I gave him a thumbs up and he repeated the gesture.
3f6e213228292a0787b84ae1f0c33f9d.jpg
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What made my day was seeing this on the side.
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This is no show queen and looks very much to be a daily driver. A very rare thing for old air cooled Porsches. Usually they're stashed away in a humidity controlled garage, rarely to go outside to preserve an "investment". So to be parked up on the side of a street in 2018 Bristol is a very unusual and rare thing.
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#50685 ONLINE   320touring

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 04:15 PM

That's a lovely looking old tub!

Nicely spotted.
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#50686 ONLINE   hairnet

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 04:48 PM

And it's 12 hours to go

* Does little dance

#50687 ONLINE   clayts450

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 06:15 PM

Being ill and staying at home so as not to infect colleagues (I detest 'martyrs' who go in when they feel shit then spread their lurgy onto all and sundry) - not the grin.

 

The grin is being able to spend some time under the bonnet of a car to take my mind off my 'swallowing razor blades' sore throat, cough and snuffles (see also 'man flu'), and continue my acquaintance with the new chodder.


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Current

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Historical choddage (stopped driving 1999-2016)
1969 VW Beetle 1300;  1977 Morris Marina 1.3 Super; 1983 Skoda Estelle 120L; Rover Metro; Vauxhall CorsaVauxhall Cavalier ; 2001 Rover 45 V6 Connie (May to Oct 2018);

2003 Chrysler PT Cruiser CRD Limited (Jan 18 to Jan 19 - roffled off here)


#50688 OFFLINE   Noel Tidybeard

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 09:27 PM

Someone should send her a link to the forum.

 

No, no they shouldn't  :whacky055: 


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#50689 ONLINE   fordperv

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 09:32 PM

Well it is a forum for old bangers.......
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Sir slidealot, knight of the roundabout

#50690 ONLINE   jumpingjehovahs

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 09:42 PM

Glad to see the eBay algorithms believe £24k worth of Skoda is worthy of filling the void left in my heart by missing out on a £600 Tata Safari

718117e07fb67b97ffc8ce9572eded0c.jpg




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#50691 OFFLINE   Datsuncog

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 09:50 PM

I love eBay's algorithms.

 

Because I bought an offside front Yaris doorhandle last year, its adbots reckon I'm some sort of offside front doorhandle collector and are constantly trying to tempt me with further purchases that might be of interest.

 

An offside front doorhandle for a BMW E36, sir?

 

How about an offside front doorhandle for a Skoda Octavia? No?

 

Come on then, an offside front doorhandle for a Mazda 6, surely?

 

WHAT DO WE HAVE TO DO TO MAKE YOU BUY MORE LOVELY DOORHANDLES????

 

 

It's impressively stupid, since if they were to dangle some Yaris spark plugs or air filters in my eyeline, I'd probably order them up there and then.


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#50692 ONLINE   loserone

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 09:58 PM

Sorry, that's my fault.

A few years ago I bought internal grab handles for a range of different cars, because I needed two about the right size to use to replace the armrests in my MX5. XJ40 was right.,
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#50693 ONLINE   Hooli

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 10:04 PM

No, no they shouldn't  :whacky055:

 

I'd be very surprised if she could read or write tbh.


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Opinions expressed are those of this cunt, not any other cunt. They do not represent the views of those responsible for this forum.
Like any true Englishman I'm never unintentionally rude. If you're offended by this post, good as that is what was my intention.

 

Champion cunt in the cunt count 2018.


#50694 ONLINE   GrumpiusMaximus

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Posted 08 November 2018 - 11:27 PM

IMG_2904.jpg

 

I'm not childish at all.


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#50695 OFFLINE   andy18s

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Posted 09 November 2018 - 12:08 AM

^^ Wayne???
Wtf?
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#50696 ONLINE   hairnet

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Posted 09 November 2018 - 12:40 AM

Tokheim

Gilbarder root

#50697 OFFLINE   New POD

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Posted 09 November 2018 - 03:45 AM

Having to lie to children, in a nice way.

Neighbour's kid, about 4 or 5 yrs old, has often come and spraffed to me when I'm working on me chod. He took a liking to the 45. Observant kid noticed it wasn't around any more. His Dad was with him.

Kid : "Where's the red one gone ?"
Me (looks at Dad) : "Er, it's, er, gone to the farm"
(Dad nods his understanding)
Kid : "Why's it gone to the farm ?"
Me (looks at Dad for moral support): "Er..."
Dad : "I think he means it's gone to the hospital"
Kid: "Ah, okay then"

I'm dreading the next conversation.


Why not tell the truth?
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#50698 OFFLINE   New POD

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Posted 09 November 2018 - 03:49 AM

Ha, that's an easy one. Wait till they start asking 'well, how exactly does the sperm get in the mummy's tummy?'...


Tell them the truth using the correct technical terms.
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#50699 OFFLINE   New POD

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Posted 09 November 2018 - 03:52 AM

Can remember sitting watching Casualty at my Grans house, my wee brother turns round and utters "Gran, how does the baby fit out of the ladies bum?"

https://media1.tenor.com/images/154fceec...


Again I say. Explain where it t comes out of, and that often there is tearing of flesh.
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#50700 ONLINE   GrumpiusMaximus

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Posted 09 November 2018 - 06:34 AM

^^ Wayne???
Wtf?

 

 

It's not 'Wayne' that I found funny...


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