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What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread


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#46891 OFFLINE   Cavcraft

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 03:42 PM

Shouldn't really laugh as it must be shit to happen, but I did LOL a bit at this earlier on the way to my lad's house...

 

 

 32644690_1829144854048129_10597764586641


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#46892 OFFLINE   anonymous user

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 03:52 PM

A former colleague was once overtaken,in his Volvo Amazon, by his powerboat on its trailer, before it did similar on Cowbridge Road in Cardiff. The hitch part of the trailer had taken too many dunkings in salt water and rusted through
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#46893 OFFLINE   Saabnut

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 04:27 PM

Not a good day for the boat owner, that looks like the original Ski Nautique USA built trailer which are not legal on UK roads. Part of that is they usually have a 2inch hitch rather than 50mm which could explain why it came off....


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#46894 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 04:30 PM

Shouldn't really laugh as it must be shit to happen, but I did LOL a bit at this earlier on the way to my lad's house...

 

 

 https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t...

 

something something hedgefund something


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Opinions expressed are those of this cunt, not any other cunt. They do not represent the views of those responsible for this forum.
Like any true Englishman I'm never unintentionally rude. If you're offended by this post, good as that is what was intended.

 


#46895 OFFLINE   PhilA

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 05:24 PM

Not a good day for the boat owner, that looks like the original Ski Nautique USA built trailer which are not legal on UK roads. Part of that is they usually have a 2inch hitch rather than 50mm which could explain why it came off....

What's the other part of the reason for them being illegal to use in the UK? I'm curious.

Phil
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#46896 OFFLINE   somewhatfoolish

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 05:30 PM

Septic trailers sometimes have electric brakes which are verboten in the UK for reasons beyond logic, possibly also the requirement for auto-reverse brakes. If you swap the hitch to a 50mm one it will work, be safe and 99% of trafpol will ignore you if you behave and your towcar isn't a moving violation.


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#46897 ONLINE   Tayne

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 05:59 PM

I have a massive file to copy and paste into another. It’s a list of about a quarter of a million phone numbers!
The file isn’t on excel so I can’t just select and copy the column, it’s on notepad for some reason (some people think it is cutting edge, Ho hum) so I need to sit here holding shift and page up. For a long time.
Got bored with that so in true autoshite fashion I came up with a cheap engineering fix. One bolt on the shift key, another on the page up key, and a phone resting on each to maintain the pressure. I can now sit and watch The Protectors instead!



A Quarter of a million phone numbers!

Are you involved in some sort of junk marketing scam to defraud pensioners with fake double glazing?
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It always amuses me that e46s vie with the PT Cruiser as the car that's too shit for Autoshite, 

 

 


#46898 OFFLINE   Kiltox

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 06:00 PM

A Quarter of a million phone numbers!

Are you involved in some sort of theshadow/Cavcraft marketing scam to defraud pensioners by buying their Vauxhalls for £2.50?


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#46899 OFFLINE   Supernaut

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 06:03 PM

A Quarter of a million phone numbers!

Are you involved in some sort of junk marketing scam to defraud pensioners with fake double glazing?


No, he tries to sell them new bathrooms.








*hears a BMW 330 roar into his street, followed by footsteps up the garden path, promptly gets punched*
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#46900 OFFLINE   Mr A Lawrence

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 06:05 PM

Had my mondeo on eBay for the last 5 days.

 

One guy contacted me to view and said he was very keen but then baulked as he couldn't insure it for his lad so no go.

 

Last night a woman came to view, brought her brother mechanic to check it over and took it round the block. 

 

Had it up for £1250.

 

Haggling went like this...

 

Her, I like it, would you take a grand for it?

 

Me, no, I can't take that big a hit on it. (Nearly said £1100)

 

Her, OK  £1250 it is. 

 

Ebay has redeemed it's self!!


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#46901 OFFLINE   PhilA

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 06:07 PM

Septic trailers sometimes have electric brakes which are verboten in the UK for reasons beyond logic, possibly also the requirement for auto-reverse brakes. If you swap the hitch to a 50mm one it will work, be safe and 99% of trafpol will ignore you if you behave and your towcar isn't a moving violation.


How quaint.

Phil
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#46902 ONLINE   Tayne

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 06:18 PM

No, he tries to sell them new bathrooms.*hears a BMW 330 roar into his street, followed by footsteps up the garden path, promptly gets punched*



A. You can’t hear your own doorbell, you wouldn’t hear my car.
B. Seventy percent of custom by recommendation.
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It always amuses me that e46s vie with the PT Cruiser as the car that's too shit for Autoshite, 

 

 


#46903 ONLINE   andy18s

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 06:23 PM

I have a massive file to copy and paste into another. It’s a list of about a quarter of a million phone numbers!


Is it the AS members list of signed up autobots?
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Happy trails....

#46904 OFFLINE   anonymous user

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 06:32 PM

I have a massive file to copy and paste into another. It’s a list of about a quarter of a million phone numbers!

The file isn’t on excel so I can’t just select and copy the column, it’s on notepad for some reason (some people think it is cutting edge, Ho hum) so I need to sit here holding shift and page up. For a long time.

Got bored with that so in true autoshite fashion I came up with a cheap engineering fix. One bolt on the shift key, another on the page up key, and a phone resting on each to maintain the pressure. I can now sit and watch The Protectors instead!

Why did you not use the nodding bird? It worked so well for Homer Simpson .

You aren't working at GCHQ by any chance, are you?
giphy.gif
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#46905 OFFLINE   richardmorris

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 07:56 PM

I may be in this month’s practical classics.

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#46906 OFFLINE   SiC

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 07:59 PM

That is some JPEG artificating in that picture! It's like being back on the internet in 2001, while on freeserve dialup.
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#46907 ONLINE   Tayne

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 08:15 PM

Dollywobbler is looking a bit rough these days...

AFA13570-A255-4C53-9992-0122C4DBACAE.jpeg
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It always amuses me that e46s vie with the PT Cruiser as the car that's too shit for Autoshite, 

 

 


#46908 OFFLINE   richardmorris

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 08:26 PM

Dollywobbler is looking a bit rough these days...
attachicon.gifAFA13570-A255-4C53-9992-0122C4DBACAE.jpeg

That’s my friend Ragnar! A lovely chap ( these days).

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#46909 OFFLINE   wuvvum

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 09:38 PM

On a 'couldn't get the phone out fast enough' moment. A gen-yew-whine Bugatti Veyron just trundled past. Surprisingly quieter than I'd have thought....... but great to see it being used on a normal road by some guy who obviously is winning at something. Kids at lights were going mental so he blapped it a bit...... my bits fizzed

Only time I've ever seen a Veyron on the road was about 9 years ago in a particularly wealthy part of Surrey.  It was waiting at a set of lights on a NSL dual carriageway.  Behind it was a late '80s Porsche 91, and behind that was me in a 1983 Renault 5 TL.

 

Lights went green, all three of us nailed it, and I was honestly closer to staying with the 911 in my 1108cc Renault than he was to keeping up with the Bugatti.  Extraordinary machine.


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#46910 OFFLINE   richardmorris

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 09:45 PM

And from p eye today...

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#46911 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 10:12 PM

Indian House.jpg


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Opinions expressed are those of this cunt, not any other cunt. They do not represent the views of those responsible for this forum.
Like any true Englishman I'm never unintentionally rude. If you're offended by this post, good as that is what was intended.

 


#46912 OFFLINE   anonymous user

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Posted 16 May 2018 - 10:29 PM

So I did, she's called Broadband Internet Connection
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#46913 OFFLINE   Parky

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Posted 17 May 2018 - 06:56 AM

A Quarter of a million phone numbers!
Are you involved in some sort of junk marketing scam to defraud pensioners with fake double glazing?

Nope, this is the GDPR in full effect. I have a list of 1400 financial advisers to contact but have to make sure none of them are registered with the corporate telephone preference service before I call.

Of course the format we use for our numbers is different to the preference service file so an auto dedupe won’t work. FFS! I am altering our files to match theirs for future automatic checking (the pref service list changes every month)

It’s not difficult, just sooooo much data on screen. And it’s not a quarter of a million, it’s over two million as I found more files yesterday afternoon. Excel doesn’t seem to be able to cope with that many lines of code so i have had to spread the file over four worksheets. It is very slow and likes falling over!

#46914 OFFLINE   wuvvum

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Posted 17 May 2018 - 07:28 AM

That’s my friend Ragnar! A lovely chap ( these days).

"These days"?  Why, did he use to rape, pillage and drink apple brandy from the skulls of his enemies?


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#46915 OFFLINE   Parky

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Posted 17 May 2018 - 07:40 AM

You forgot about the superbly designed boats and the epic poetry

#46916 OFFLINE   dollywobbler

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Posted 17 May 2018 - 11:16 AM

"These days"?  Why, did he use to rape, pillage and drink apple brandy from the skulls of his enemies?

 

I just know him as 'Hairy Dave...'


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#46917 OFFLINE   oldcars

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Posted 17 May 2018 - 11:43 AM

Shouldn't really laugh as it must be shit to happen, but I did LOL a bit at this earlier on the way to Central's TV studio in Leeds.

 

 

 https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t...

FIFY. You can't beat a bit of bully.



#46918 OFFLINE   adw1977

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Posted 17 May 2018 - 03:12 PM

It’s not difficult, just sooooo much data on screen. And it’s not a quarter of a million, it’s over two million as I found more files yesterday afternoon. Excel doesn’t seem to be able to cope with that many lines of code so i have had to spread the file over four worksheets. It is very slow and likes falling over!


Excel will accept just over a million lines of data. I think Access will take more but I've always found that a pain to work with.

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#46919 OFFLINE   Parky

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Posted 17 May 2018 - 03:21 PM

Tried breaking it into four separate sheets with half a million numbers in each.

Still tripping over itself non stop so have reverted to the mark one eyeball. Tedious but workIng. Have decided to get myself a number checked each day, make those calls, and then check the next batch ready for the next day and so on.

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#46920 OFFLINE   PhilA

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Posted 17 May 2018 - 03:25 PM

Nope, this is the GDPR in full effect. I have a list of 1400 financial advisers to contact but have to make sure none of them are registered with the corporate telephone preference service before I call.
Of course the format we use for our numbers is different to the preference service file so an auto dedupe won’t work. FFS! I am altering our files to match theirs for future automatic checking (the pref service list changes every month)
It’s not difficult, just sooooo much data on screen. And it’s not a quarter of a million, it’s over two million as I found more files yesterday afternoon. Excel doesn’t seem to be able to cope with that many lines of code so i have had to spread the file over four worksheets. It is very slow and likes falling over!


visicalc-primera-hoja-de-calculo.jpg

You need to upgrade
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