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What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread


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#45661 ONLINE   myglaren

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Posted 14 March 2018 - 07:41 PM

Depends: we had the mortgage survey done - which was mandatory, and seemed chiefly to establish that there was indeed a house at the given address that the bank could seize if I failed to stump up the payments - but chose not to bother with a buyer's survey as the house was relatively new and unmodified and in a geologically boring area, plus the survey excluded so much and had so many caveats that it didn't feel worth the asking price. We had a good look over everything ourselves, and nearly eight years on nothing's gone wrong with the place that we didn't anticipate and budget for.

But my brother's currently buying a flat in London that's been converted from a Victorian terrace with an extension, and I'm advising him to get it properly looked over structurally, as there's a lot of scope for bodging and woe there.

My son fell foul of that in his house in London - someone had bodged the drainage inasmuch as there were no underground drains, the downcomers just soaked into the ground and the water has excavated huge cavities that are having to be filled with concrete and proper drainage installed.

Brilliant when he is trying to sell the house.


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#45662 OFFLINE   DodgeRover

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Posted 14 March 2018 - 07:54 PM

Get those huge ready dug cavities turned into rooms and add value!
99% of London stuff seems to have rain water into the foul water drains do there is really no excuse for not sorting it.
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#45663 OFFLINE   M'coli

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Posted 14 March 2018 - 08:15 PM

Just been reading the KKK thread. Both parties have said things like "lovely chap, a joy to meet you" etc. How often do we see that here? All the time, I reckon. Shiters flog each other unwanted old cars with known faults, and everyone's happy. Show me another forum on which this could happen!


I can't be the only one who always reads KKK as Kuhnle, Kopp & Kausch, surely?
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#45664 ONLINE   Hooli

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Posted 14 March 2018 - 08:56 PM

I went to a local bike night that started tonight, a few nice bikes there but this seemed very AS...

 

20180314_182006.jpg

 

Boggo tranny with orange beacon & rust right?

 

Not quite...

 

20180314_181952.jpg

 

It looked very neat in there, bloke said it had the Lexus auto behind it & all bolted to standard Ford parts for the rest. 3" twin pipes that stopped just in front of the rear wheels but well hidden underneath made for a bloody lovely noise as it vanished at a bloody silly rate of knots for a van.


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#45665 OFFLINE   eddyramrod

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Posted 14 March 2018 - 09:00 PM

That's my kind of Transit! :)


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#45666 OFFLINE   cobblers

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Posted 14 March 2018 - 09:09 PM

I've got to sign up for dozens of Autoshite accounts just so I can click like many more times.
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#45667 OFFLINE   Lord Sterling

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Posted 14 March 2018 - 09:10 PM

Not a lot has been making me grin these days and I'm sure not much else will...

We call them names like "taffic wombles" and accuse them of pretending to be policeman but today, I have new and big respect for the Highways Agency lads.

Yesterday I picked up a Van from a very well known van rental place. When I picked up the van it had a full tank, or so I thought. Then whilst on the M25 between junctions 24 and 25 the engine light came on and lost power. It jerked hitting power and losing it again a couple of times but I felt like the power had finally left.

I decided with the momentum I still had I headed towards the edge of the motorway, there was no hard shoulder, just some muddy verge. Hazard lights on and carefully manoeuvred to the verge:

20180314_085434.jpg

Although there was an emergency layby a couple of hundred yards, I didn't have enough momentum to get there. So office qas phoned and the van company's breakdown line who sorted out a breakdown truck for me but also the Highways Agency lads also came to the rescue. They stopped the traffic to hook up thier car to my van and towed me the couple of hundred yards to safety and got the traffic going.

2018-03-14 21.05.01.png

Seriously, thanks lads!

Eventually the van got towed and dumped at the nearest van rental centre;

20180314_104943.jpg

Then things got even better...

Got to my next pick up and the customer wasn't there. So another hours wait and then job got aborted. So another hour and half on train further south in London to pick up another van for a 3 and half hour journey home :(
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#45668 OFFLINE   dollywobbler

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Posted 14 March 2018 - 09:13 PM

Oh wow. I didn't know they actually did useful stuff like towing vehicles out of the way. That's genuinely good to know!


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#45669 ONLINE   purplebargeken

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Posted 14 March 2018 - 09:18 PM

So that was you that mullered my bit of the M25 then. 


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#45670 OFFLINE   wuvvum

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Posted 14 March 2018 - 09:25 PM

Yesterday's MB100D camper has been soundly beaten by this morning's spot.

 

IMG_20180314_090259.jpg

 

Noticed it out of the corner of my eye over the far side of a petrol station forecourt as I drove past.  A tyre-squealing lap of a mini roundabout and dumping the Rover in the middle of the forecourt enabled me to nab this picture just as the transporter was about to bugger off.  The car looked bloody immaculate.  Local reg too - I have no idea where it's been hiding.


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#45671 OFFLINE   cobblers

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Posted 14 March 2018 - 09:29 PM

This thread keeps getting better, I can't cope with this. A flippin strada!
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#45672 OFFLINE   Lord Sterling

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Posted 14 March 2018 - 09:30 PM

Oh wow. I didn't know they actually did useful stuff like towing vehicles out of the way. That's genuinely good to know!


They do, but only to the nearest place of safety I.e. one of the emergency laybys.

So that was you that mullered my bit of the M25 then.


Er...yes, sorry about. There was another van on the otherside of the carriageway that had broken down in the same manner and a similar place. Carriageway was also slowed to get that van onto a recovery truck aswell.
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#45673 OFFLINE   dollywobbler

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Posted 14 March 2018 - 09:32 PM

They do, but only to the nearest place of safety I.e. one of the emergency laybys.
 

 

That's fair enough. Remove the danger, keep the traffic flowing. I thought they just put cones down and then sat in their 4x4s, watching the resulting traffic chaos.


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#45674 OFFLINE   Louise2cv

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Posted 14 March 2018 - 09:38 PM

I was flicking through the channels a few weeks ago and caught a prog on the M1?A1? And somewhere on there they have a Womble type guy on a motor bike. He whizzes between the queues to a breakdown and...

...folds out from the back of the bike a kind of A-frame towing dolly thing and drags the car off the nearest slip road. Never seen owt like it before, looks mega handy!
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#45675 ONLINE   beko1987

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Posted 14 March 2018 - 09:38 PM

So that was you that mullered my bit of the M25 then.


Could have popped a cuppa out Ken! Tsk
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#45676 OFFLINE   DodgeRover

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Posted 14 March 2018 - 09:40 PM

I think it would be cheaper to have an emergency refuge lane that people could use in the event of a breakdown.
We could call it a hard shoulder, then when there's a crash emergency services could use it to get to the people who need help

[irony mode off]

Stupid hard shoulder less motorways...
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#45677 ONLINE   Hooli

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Posted 14 March 2018 - 09:42 PM

I think it would be cheaper to have an emergency refuge lane that people could use in the event of a breakdown.
We could call it a hard shoulder, then when there's a crash emergency services could use it to get to the people who need help

[irony mode off]

Stupid hard shoulder less motorways...

 

Give it about 25years & that'll be the amazing new government policy.

 

Mind you by then every emergency phone will probably have a smart charger on it for all the idiots who will still be running out of fuel on the motorway.


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#45678 OFFLINE   dollywobbler

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Posted 14 March 2018 - 09:45 PM

I think it would be cheaper to have an emergency refuge lane that people could use in the event of a breakdown.
We could call it a hard shoulder, then when there's a crash emergency services could use it to get to the people who need help

[irony mode off]

Stupid hard shoulder less motorways...

 

Or we could just do what they do in Germany, and leave space down the middle for emergency vehicles in a queue. But that would involve people thinking about more than themselves, so it ain't going to happen. 

 

Incidentally, talking of folk thinking of nothing but themselves, it seems hard shoulders can be used to jump a queue and it's just fine. TWATS.


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#45679 OFFLINE   Pillock

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Posted 14 March 2018 - 10:05 PM

I've seen them wombles drag an articulated truck and trailer (very slowly) out of the way with one of them 4x4s. Just lobbed a rope on it and pulled it onto the hard shoulder. I did wonder why they buy them such nice chunky cars rather than something that can cut through the traffic with some cones in the back, like an Octavia estate or something. Now I know.

 

I still wish they'd stop sitting on those "Police vehicle only" parking areas on the motorway, looking all policey though. Even though I rarely stray above 70ish, everyone else does and then they shit themselves and slam the brakes on when they see a bit of high vis checkerboard.



#45680 OFFLINE   Pillock

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Posted 14 March 2018 - 10:10 PM

 

Incidentally, talking of folk thinking of nothing but themselves, it seems hard shoulders can be used to jump a queue and it's just fine. TWATS.

 

Once saw a chap doing this on the M42. Gridlock, car scoots down the hard shoulder with about a mile to go to the next exit at Tamworth. 

20 seconds later, a police car follows down the hard shoulder. Of course, this bloke now has nowhere to go - all the traffic in Lane 1 is chocka and like fuck is anyone going to let him in. So all he can do is stop and wait for the incoming wave of sarcasm/disgust from the policeman behind.

 

Traffic cleared 15 minutes later and he was still sat in the cop car having a little chat with the officers when I passed. I don't think I stopped laughing until about Solihull.


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#45681 OFFLINE   chodweaver

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Posted 14 March 2018 - 10:18 PM

Alas, I've found the frequency with which this happens far outweighs the frequency that a copper appears to nick 'em.

 

And we're back to my desire for something quick and agile but seriously heavy and armoured with bull bars the like of which God has not seen*, so that I can ram these fuckers off the hard shoulder, up (or down) the embankment, then leaving them for when the traffic wombles do turn up to ask awkward questions.

 

(*Or Hooli and a bus. Heroic.)


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#45682 OFFLINE   Ghosty

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Posted 15 March 2018 - 12:37 AM

there was no hard shoulder, just some muddy verge. 
 

 

 

This is exactly why I fucking despise smart motorways.


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#45683 OFFLINE   Ghosty

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Posted 15 March 2018 - 12:38 AM

 

I still wish they'd stop sitting on those "Police vehicle only" parking areas on the motorway, looking all policey though. Even though I rarely stray above 70ish, everyone else does and then they shit themselves and slam the brakes on when they see a bit of high vis checkerboard.

 

Yeah, but as chodweaver will attest, smart motorways actually enforce 70mph. 

 

(That's another reason I don't like them).


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#45684 OFFLINE   andy18s

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Posted 15 March 2018 - 05:10 AM

Yeah, but as chodweaver will attest, smart motorways actually enforce 70mph.

(That's another reason I don't like them).


Not just that,they are actually enforcing the lower speed limits that commercial vehicles have
Few lads on a couple of Vivaro sites have had tickets for doing bob on 70 sent to them.....
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#45685 OFFLINE   Cavcraft

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Posted 15 March 2018 - 05:15 AM

I thought vans could do 70mph on motorways?


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#45686 OFFLINE   Jazoli

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Posted 15 March 2018 - 06:37 AM

I thought vans could do 70mph on motorways?

They can, 70mph on mways, 60 on DC's and 50 on NSL roads, they must have been going faster than the posted limit.

sigs are shit, wgaf?


#45687 ONLINE   MorrisItalSLX

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Posted 15 March 2018 - 06:54 AM

You should check out my thread if you like paper car models!

 

http://autoshite.com...e-thread/page-3

 

attachicon.gifMetro.jpg

 

Would Recommend

 

post-20795-0-43937300-1518259302.jpg

 

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#45688 OFFLINE   oldcars

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Posted 15 March 2018 - 11:41 AM

My phone ringtone is now Bullseye  :-D


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#45689 ONLINE   DVee8

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Posted 15 March 2018 - 12:03 PM

There is a advert on the tv for a loan company where a bloke on roller skates is pulling a broken down recovery vehicle with other broken down vehicles on it.

Yesterday I saw a green flag recovery with a recovery truck on the back with a fiat cinquecento on the back


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#45690 OFFLINE   Pillock

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Posted 15 March 2018 - 01:39 PM

They can, 70mph on mways, 60 on DC's and 50 on NSL roads, they must have been going faster than the posted limit.

Presumably doing 70 on a dual carriageway keeping up with the cars, but speeding as a result.




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