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Live Collection of Unsaleable car.

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#121 OFFLINE   Datsuncog

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Posted 18 January 2018 - 05:43 PM

As soon as somebody cones to look at a car and they start quibbling over mind numbingly boring queries about what spec a £500 car is, I know then I've got a timewaster. Your ideal purchaser turns up on time, doesn't act odd, wants a drive, has £500 in his back burner and can make a prompt timely decision. The problem is a lot with just £500 to spend cannot actually afford a car full stop, they're just there for the day out on the off chance they can get it for 25p.

 

The biggest ball-ache I ever had selling a car was a 1986 Fiesta 1.1 that spectacularly failed its MOT on massive corrosion. The engine was perfect through with only 40k genuine miles and it had a mint Ghia interior, so I thought it may be some use to someone. I bucked it in the Friday Ad with an honest appraisal of its MOT failures and calling it a spares car only, just needing it gone - for the princely sum of *fifty quid* .

Took about thirty calls in two hours - "Can you deliver it to Southampton?" Erm, no. "Is it taxed and MOTd?" No it isn't, as stated quite clearly in the ad. "Can you keep it for me until I get back to Brighton in February?" Since this is early December, no. "Would you take the £50 in Shop4All vouchers?" Fuck. Right. Off.

The only person to actually bother their arse calling over (two hours after he said he'd show, and with two strangely silent friends in a Transit) spent an hour closely examining it, prodding it, test driving it up and down the street several times (even though I'd demonstrated how totally rotten the shell was by poking my finger right through the crusty wing), stroking his chin and making phone calls to various persons unknown, before making a "firm offer" of £40. Eager to get my life back, I accepted.

On the way up the stairs to the flat to fill in the V5, he asked whether the rear seat belts were ok, as he'd just remembered he had to look after the kiddies at the weekend. Slightly agog at his presumption he'd be driving it anywhere anytime soon, I told him there were no rear seatbelts fitted (ex-Guernsey car, so seemingly not quite UK spec). He immediately threw a paddy, finger-pointing, accusing me of wasting his time and endangering his precious children etc etc.

I ended up letting him take it away for £30. I've never been so tired in my life. I should have just taken it down to the metal recyclers at Shoreham docks and let them feed it into their giant cheesegrater.

 

[as previously posted on the 'Shite You Most Regret Weighing In' thread, as one I wished I had weighed in, but I think it bears repeating for all of us who have had to deal with the absolute bottom of the automotive sales barrel.] 

 

Note also that when I bought this Fezzer out of Auto Trader nearly three years before (as an MOT failure for £120), I'd called the seller from work at lunchtime and agreed a mutually convenient post tea-time viewing for the car. I showed up at 7 as arranged, drove it slowly round the block (yes, it was somewhat fucked but then I wasn't expecting much for the price and knew I could easily sort the non-functional brakes and raggy arches) and returned to the seller with cash in pocket to pay the full asking price.

 

Arriving back, I noticed another Fiesta parked outside, filthy and with what seemed like thirty people packed into it. There was a ding-dong argument in progress on the driveway, with another putative buyer roaring and shouting at my vendor. Apparently, he had phoned about the car after I'd already arranged a viewing, and despite this being made clear to him, he had driven down straight away from Belfast (along with the rest of the street, seemingly). However, he managed to get himself lost in the warren of streets around Towerview and so wasn't able to nip in ahead of me, and was now in a terrible rage about it, since I had 'stolen' 'his' car.

 

I think the vendor (a fairly mild-mannered chap in his 50s) ended up having to give him a substantial wodge of my purchase cash as 'petrol money' just to get him to go away. I received quite a lot of abuse and veiled threats too. All over the head of a cheapo lilac Fiesta.


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#122 ONLINE   BorniteIdentity

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Posted 18 January 2018 - 06:25 PM

Some of these stories are truly horrific. I may have paid more for my 190, but at sale time it’s a different market entirely that you’re dealing with. As long as you buy at the bottom of the curve, rather than the bottom of the market, you can hope to deal with a better class of clientele.

It’s certainly made me think hard about going in ‘two footed’ on cheap cars any more. Unless there’s a solid AS buyer waiting in line, I think I’m going to stay out of it.
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1999 Toyota Avensis SR.  220k|   1996 Toyota Granvia.  183k|   1994 Mercedes C180.  129k|  1989 Mercedes Benz 190 bASE.  90k|   1983 Ford Sierra bASe.  153k|

 

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#123 ONLINE   sierraman

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Posted 18 January 2018 - 06:34 PM

I just run them then scrap them now. Means you have to keep it to the bitter end but hey ho. My current Mondeo I'll just run until the clutch goes or something then strip off anything worth keeping or saleable then frag the rest.
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#124 OFFLINE   The Reverend Bluejeans

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Posted 18 January 2018 - 06:37 PM

I hate selling cars as basically, I don't like people very much.


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#125 ONLINE   lesapandre

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Posted 18 January 2018 - 06:49 PM

I bought a Citroen in the Midlands. When I got picked up from the station there were 3 people in the car and I was told the 'battery is flat' because 'the radio had been left on'. Oh yea I thought-  no sweat. We filled it up  without switching off at the garage and I dropped them off. Turns out the battery was completely f**d taking no charge when I tried it about an hour into the journey on a downhill section of the M1 - so knocked it into gear to restart.  Had to drive all the way to S. London without switching off...or a pee!  They obviously had had to bump the car to start it. It didn't need a story about the radio (it can't be 'left on') -all they needed to say bring a battery. Folks can be odd. I still have the car...



#126 ONLINE   lesapandre

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Posted 18 January 2018 - 06:55 PM

Once bought a nice low mileage Panda off a nice middle class guy in Highgate London...no house worth less than a couple of million upwards. Off we went in the car...had virtually no brakes after a mile or 2... so had to nurse it home. He would have known - people can be very odd when selling. I would never sell a cars without being able to feel it was at least safe or defects known. A less experienced buyer could easily have been killed


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#127 ONLINE   BorniteIdentity

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Posted 18 January 2018 - 07:03 PM

I hate selling cars as basically, I don't like people very much.


Please. Never change. We like you just how you are, you miserable old bastard.

Xx
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1999 Toyota Avensis SR.  220k|   1996 Toyota Granvia.  183k|   1994 Mercedes C180.  129k|  1989 Mercedes Benz 190 bASE.  90k|   1983 Ford Sierra bASe.  153k|

 

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#128 ONLINE   SRi05

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Posted 18 January 2018 - 07:12 PM

These stories make me feel exhausted at the thought of selling a car again. I bought Cort16's Panda 100hp a couple of months ago and have been using it as a daily, but I've got a feeling the Merc will replace it with its luxurious waftiness. Which means I'll probably look to move it on in the near future. I can imagine the sort of Facebook buy and sell clientele it'll attract. Maybe I'll just keep it haha

#129 ONLINE   sierraman

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Posted 18 January 2018 - 07:15 PM

I hate selling cars as basically, I don't like people very much.


No I don't either. I'm not very tolerant of fools.
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#130 OFFLINE   They_all_do_that_sir

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Posted 18 January 2018 - 08:04 PM

Hate hate hate selling cheap cars. There's a sweet spot over a certain value but sub £500 means dealing with some truly ghastly people.

The first sensible person who turns up on time with actual cash will generally get a decent discount off me because it means no more dealing with mongs.

High value stuff can be a mare too. A mate has had a succession of high performance cars over the years - he tends to buy a reasonable example, detail the shit out of it and sell after 6 months. He's always made money but he's always had to fend off people who clearly just want to have a go in an M3 or who are pretending to view so they can steal later

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#131 OFFLINE   doubleyeller

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Posted 18 January 2018 - 08:18 PM

The thing is, I don't actually have a problem with people turning up with cash and saying "Take £Cheeky and I'll fuck off in it!" 

 

You can always say no. A few might be back with the HIAB under cover of darkness, but most are just hoping that you want rid of the thing, and are prepared to take the hit. Well, there have been occasions when that applied, so fair dos. 

 

No, what really pisses me off is the sort of twit who wants a £120 Rover to be in perfect condition. In fact, no he didn't, because I bet he didn't even have £20 to buy the car with. Tbh, to save me the horribly drawn-out misery of taking it to the scrappy, walking to the nearest bus stop in the driving rain, then catching a train, and then another bus home, he could have had it for free if he wasn't such a clanger! 

 

I got half my £120 in the end: 2016-06-25 12.44.30.jpg



#132 ONLINE   lesapandre

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Posted 18 January 2018 - 08:38 PM

I don't care about messy  buyers its the more intimidating one. Ebay buyers who phone at midnight - I kid you not - or the two or three guys who turn up after dark to collect a car the won. Can be a offputting. 


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#133 ONLINE   SRi05

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Posted Yesterday, 06:56 AM

You are now posting in an epic thread

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#134 ONLINE   320touring

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Posted Yesterday, 08:14 AM

Godspeed
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#135 OFFLINE   They_all_do_that_sir

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Posted Yesterday, 08:17 AM

Good luck. Be careful bringing a non Volvo back across the Scots border.....

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#136 ONLINE   SRi05

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Posted Yesterday, 08:28 AM

Plane leg over, armed with English notes as my Scottish monopoly money is INVALID, I board a bus, to get to a train station

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#137 ONLINE   BorniteIdentity

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Posted Yesterday, 08:46 AM

WARNING.

 

The new money is very shiny - which means it slips out of pockets very, very easily.  I don't want to meet a fully grown crying adult later on.


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1999 Toyota Avensis SR.  220k|   1996 Toyota Granvia.  183k|   1994 Mercedes C180.  129k|  1989 Mercedes Benz 190 bASE.  90k|   1983 Ford Sierra bASe.  153k|

 

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#138 OFFLINE   jackytwoshoes

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Posted Yesterday, 08:55 AM

Are you buying a car for £20?
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#139 ONLINE   BorniteIdentity

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Posted Yesterday, 08:58 AM

Are you buying a car for £20?

 

Nobody else wanted it!


1999 Toyota Avensis SR.  220k|   1996 Toyota Granvia.  183k|   1994 Mercedes C180.  129k|  1989 Mercedes Benz 190 bASE.  90k|   1983 Ford Sierra bASe.  153k|

 

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#140 OFFLINE   They_all_do_that_sir

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Posted Yesterday, 09:06 AM

Nobody else wanted it!

Correction. I wanted it. I just can't have it.

However as it's making its way to Scotland and thus closer to me I will keep an eye out.....

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#141 ONLINE   SRi05

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Posted Yesterday, 09:34 AM

So I've arrived at St Albans City Station. What's that? The next train I need is at St Albans Abbey Station. Tittyfuck. Thankfully it's a fiver in an uber

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#142 ONLINE   SRi05

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Posted Yesterday, 06:32 PM

400 miles later, I'm home. Was a pleasant enough drive until encountering a blizzard just past Carlisle and the motorway going down to a single lane with zero visibility, and my wipers almost stuck with ice. many poos shot out of my ani.

Just as well I was in a tank of a motor! Drove all the way up without a hiccup.

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#143 ONLINE   BorniteIdentity

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Posted Yesterday, 07:02 PM

Boom. What a hero!

I forgot that I still have the third key on my person, so will post it along.

Well done and thanks for being as cool as a coma.
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1999 Toyota Avensis SR.  220k|   1996 Toyota Granvia.  183k|   1994 Mercedes C180.  129k|  1989 Mercedes Benz 190 bASE.  90k|   1983 Ford Sierra bASe.  153k|

 

https://sierrabase.wordpress.com/


#144 ONLINE   Rod/b

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Posted Yesterday, 07:11 PM

Has it been de-gingered already?

#145 ONLINE   SRi05

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Posted Yesterday, 07:14 PM

Boom. What a hero!

I forgot that I still have the third key on my person, so will post it along.

Well done and thanks for being as cool as a coma.

That would be good of you mate, cheers. And ditto, buying /selling cars is a whole lot more pleasurable when actual human beings are involved. Pleasure meeting you.

#146 ONLINE   lesapandre

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Posted Yesterday, 07:17 PM

Thats a vintage Benz for you. Milemunching 400 and a blizzard.  Happy Mercing...


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#147 OFFLINE   dollywobbler

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Posted Yesterday, 07:29 PM

Excellent.
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#148 OFFLINE   eddyramrod

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Posted Yesterday, 07:33 PM

Result!


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#149 OFFLINE   chancer

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Posted Yesterday, 08:58 PM

Epic! Well bought, hopefully see it kicking about Glasgow soon! Enjoy
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#150 ONLINE   lesapandre

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Posted Today, 03:40 PM

400 miles later, I'm home. Was a pleasant enough drive until encountering a blizzard just past Carlisle and the motorway going down to a single lane with zero visibility, and my wipers almost stuck with ice. many poos shot out of my ani.

Just as well I was in a tank of a motor! Drove all the way up without a hiccup.

Run the garage washer under it to get off the salt and check for any corrosion starting. These do rust after a time







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