Inconvenient/unusual repair situations.

[omegod]

I've made use of the upper deserted floors of the local council multi storey car park to do brake jobs when it's been pissing down, 30p an hour is a justifiable expense to stay dry 

[Uncle Jimmy]

Not motoring related but I was trimming the hedge and shrubs in front of my old house some years ago, keeping up appearances etc. Strangely that seemed to attract a great deal of tutting and muttering from residents including one woman who complained that the resultant foliage temporarily laid out upon the pavement was 'hurting her dog's feet', my reaction involved certain facial expressions and gestures.

[Zelandeth]

Astonished me the level of honking and deliberately driving as close to us happened when we had to recover a broken down coach from a layby on the A90 a few years back. Broken engine mount...the get-us-home fix involved a large number of ratchet straps and many crossed fingers, as we'd essentially strapped the engine to the adjacent chassis rail.

 

The actual fix I seem to recall being somewhat of a faff as the problem was actually that a casting had cracked off the block. Was one of the more "interesting" failures I'd come across.

 

In terms of my own cars, only had one occasion I had to get help in when my Lada Samara conked out without warning one day. This was before I had a mobile phone, and was helpfully precisely at the furthest point from anywhere useful on the road in question.

 

After nearly two hours, I finally managed to get a motorist to actually stop and offer help. I had RAC covers, so phoned from their mobile, and let them on their way - after making it clear how grateful I was that they'd stopped unlike the 100 or so cars before.

 

Three hours later, still no RAC... it's getting dark and cold by that point...when my parents eventually appeared, wondering where the heck I was. They had a phone, which I borrowed to call the RAC and make my displeasure known that I was still waiting. Turns out that the road we were on wasn't on their mapping system, so they had just cancelled the call!

 

About another hour later a mechanic turned up, and fixed my car in about ten seconds by thwacking the carb with a mallet...stuck float.

 

Was the first time I'd encountered that fault! Couple of weeks later I bought my first mobile phone, and switched to another breakdown cover provider.

[Mally]

I've pumped the suspension up on a Princess at Billing Aquadome.

Sounds better than I meant that one.

[rainagain]

Ah the good old RAC, years ago I had a brake down policy with them that covered the car not the driver. I changed cars and do forgot to tell them (my fault I know). Driving to work as I slowed for a round about my crank sensor packed in and the car stopped. I phoned them up when I told them the reg they said that wasn't on the policy, I asked to change it but as it was 'distress' change due to being broken down the fee was more than the policy cost me for the year!

 

I couldn't afford the fee so they wouldn't come out, the worst thing was the woman ended the call with "is there anything else I can help you with?". Luckily one of the guys at work also messed around with cars so me made up a tow rope from lots and lots of strands of thin nylon rope and came and rescued me.

[fordperv]

I've made use of the upper deserted floors of the local council multi storey car park to do brake jobs when it's been pissing down, 30p an hour is a justifiable expense to stay dry

My favourite for the multi storey carpark is for car polishing, I was going to a car show but the weather was shocking the day before so i washed the car and headed on up with my polishing supplies, it raised some eyebrows from passers by and the security were buzzing about and came over to see what I was doing we had a chat and he was really amused at the idea. I've done that a few times as well as under the click and collect canopy at tesco

[tooSavvy]

When I was running the Skoda, up and down to Weymouth each weekend, and [being tight] not having it serviced there for ££... I would nip up the road, in Wallsend, to a disused petrol station (... No garage/always raining) and do oils & stuff under the awning on a Saturday.

 

I look back to that time in my life.... Fuckinn KnobbEdd :/

 

 

TS

[Guest Hooli]

I used to know a multistory with a broken lock on a flap in the wall over a plug socket. This obviously never* got used for inspection lamps etc when fixing cars out of the rain.

[Guest Hooli]

Oh & sat in a welsh field in welsh Wales  with it pouring down lots of cold november rain isn't the most ideal place to remove the dealer fit immobiliser on a Discovery. Had to be done though as the keyfob had been under water at the other end of my tent all night. Turns out you can do it in about 20mins with a gas soldering iron & do such a good job I never needed to redo it for all the years after that I owned it.

[Talbot]

Many years ago I was working on a Gas pipeline being strung across southern Wales. The entire workforce had to be mobile, so we all lived in caravans during the working week, generally making a deal with a local campside for 15 of us to turn up and stay for several months. It was decent income for them, so it worked.

 

I had a Fiat X1/9 as a blat-home-at-the-weekend car, and to attempt to stop it rotting too badly, I parked it in the awning of the caravan as it was just about big enough to park in, and meant I could leave the roof off most of the time.

 

One evening I'm just getting into my journey home, and the car starts to struggle, then siezes up and performs an emergency stop all on it's own. Diagnosis... gearbox failure. I get recovered back to my campsite and am able to use my towcar for the caravan to blat home.

 

Find another breaker x1/9 for a few quid, bought it, and broke it for spares at home, and took the gearbox with me back up to Wales. Get to the recovered X1/9 and discover it's a failed 2nd-gear anti-selection bearing, meaning 2nd gear is engaged all the time, even when the stick is in neutral. Put it in any other gear and you're in two gears at once, hence it locks up.

 

Ok, so drive the x1/9 back into it's hidey hole in the caravan awning, and now *have* to fix it, as I'm up against a wall facing downhill, so it has to come out under it's own power.

 

Next issue is lighting. The only thing I have is 6 strings of 100 fairy lamps... will have to do.. so I string them up all over the place, and it's actually excellent, as you cannot now work in your own shadow. However, there is less than a foot clearance between the car and the caravan, just 6" behind the car and no clearance at all between the car and the awning... have to unzip the relevant bit to work on it, and then zip it back up again as quickly as possible before the site owner spots what I'm doing. No idea how he'd react, so best if he just is none the wiser.

 

Car up on axle stands, rear suspension removed, gearbox change, all back together in two evenings, and sure enough it all works and car can come out under it's own power. Most akward location to do the most awkward job I have ever experienced.

[tooSavvy]

Many years ago I was working on a Gas pipeline being strung across southern Wales. The entire workforce had to be mobile, so we all lived in caravans during the working week, generally making a deal with a local campside for 15 of us to turn up and stay for several months. It was decent income for them, so it worked.

 

I had a Fiat X1/9 as a blat-home-at-the-weekend car, and to attempt to stop it rotting too badly, I parked it in the awning of the caravan as it was just about big enough to park in, and meant I could leave the roof off most of the time.

 

One evening I'm just getting into my journey home, and the car starts to struggle, then siezes up and performs an emergency stop all on it's own. Diagnosis... gearbox failure. I get recovered back to my campsite and am able to use my towcar for the caravan to blat home.

 

Find another breaker x1/9 for a few quid, bought it, and broke it for spares at home, and took the gearbox with me back up to Wales. Get to the recovered X1/9 and discover it's a failed 2nd-gear anti-selection bearing, meaning 2nd gear is engaged all the time, even when the stick is in neutral. Put it in any other gear and you're in two gears at once, hence it locks up.

 

Ok, so drive the x1/9 back into it's hidey hole in the caravan awning, and now *have* to fix it, as I'm up against a wall facing downhill, so it has to come out under it's own power.

 

Next issue is lighting. The only thing I have is 6 strings of 100 fairy lamps... will have to do.. so I string them up all over the place, and it's actually excellent, as you cannot now work in your own shadow. However, there is less than a foot clearance between the car and the caravan, just 6" behind the car and no clearance at all between the car and the awning... have to unzip the relevant bit to work on it, and then zip it back up again as quickly as possible before the site owner spots what I'm doing. No idea how he'd react, so best if he just is none the wiser.

 

Car up on axle stands, rear suspension removed, gearbox change, all back together in two evenings, and sure enough it all works and car can come out under it's own power. Most akward location to do the most awkward job I have ever experienced.

 

.... a TV show/YBF there alone

 

Reksept !!

 

TS

[Frogchod]

I once had a steering lock/ ignition switch fail on a C15 in a supermarket carpark.

Not one person was bothered by the fact that I was beating the steering lock into submission with a hammer and hot wiring the ignition with scissors and selotape.

Maybe they thought no one would bother stealing a C15 ?

[bunglebus]

I've always worked in cars where I live, mostly that's meant in a car park or on the road. Changed the gearbox on my Renault 5 on my own in a day, in the car park behind a social club (see profile pic). No one complained.
Stripped the interiors out of both a Sierra and an Orion in a different car park and left them covered with tarps until they could be removed. No complaints.
The most inconvenient place I've had to carry out a repair was at the top of a very windy hill at the side of the road into Eastbourne as I was taking my daughter home in my old VW T25 van, I had just swapped a different petrol tank in and clearly there was some debris in there, blocking the exit. Luckily there was a spare length of hose in the footwell so I got underneath and swapped the blanked off return pipe and the feed, worked a treat and stayed like that for years! Got my daughter home and myself back to Essex with only a half hour delay too.

[phil_lihp]

I once had a steering lock/ ignition switch fail on a C15 in a supermarket carpark.

Not one person was bothered by the fact that I was beating the steering lock into submission with a hammer and hot wiring the ignition with scissors and selotape.

Maybe they thought no one would bother stealing a C15 ?

I did just this in my local Asda car park a few months ago when the worn ignition lock in my Hiace seized. No one seemed fussed about me apparently stealing the van in broad daylight.

[timolloyd]

Same as above, I was sat in the car park of Peterborough Cathedral faffing with the ignition of the Pug 205. Not sure the tourists greatly appreciated the sudden noise of an XUD exploding into life then cutting out, repeatedly

[lisbon_road]

Come to think of it, I was working away from home and was given a house sit twelve miles from work, across a Forest.  I generally cycled but for some reason one day I needed to drive.  Late the night before, I broke the key in my Astra ignition lock.

 

Stripped various bits off the steering column and then smashed the lock out with a hammer and chisel.  Put the key in the ring thing to beat the immobiliser and all was well, though that took ages, and I'd had a few drinks too.

 

Next day, got into work ok and went to a scrapyard, got a full lock set for £20 and on we go.

[D Spares & Tyres]

Towed a car using some of that orange rope that BT use for pulling cables through.

 

Didn't realise how stretchy it was. Before too long, the broken down car was quite a distance behind.

[sheffcortinacentre]

My mate swapped the eng in his dads skoda Estelle out side thier caravan back in the 90s.

[mercrocker]

People who don't do it fail to realise just how grumpy and irritable you can become working on a car, particularly when placed in what they consider to be an inconvenience....

 

My mate's Sceptre literally died on the access road to the garages behind our flats.   Nothing for it but push it to one side and hoik the dizzy out and replace the points and condenser.   Along comes Mr "Bought my own house now" in his Trooper, pissed off because he had to do an extra point turn to get into his back entrance (which he never got permission for incidentally).  

 

After performing this oh, so difficult, extra manoeuvre he makes the effort to walk back up the slope and berate my friend for "parking" his Humber so inconsiderately.   "Why don't you get rid of this old banger and park somewhere else?" he huffed, oblivious to the stupid duplicity of his own question. 

 

My mate, slim in build, slow in temper but completely seriously, just turned his head slowly from beneath the bonnet and retorted....."Why don't you fuck off, you stupid fat cunt"  

 

He did, too.....

[dollywobbler]

Back in 1998, I was working on my Citroen Dyane, where I used to live in Birmingham (Midland Autoshiters unknowingly went past my old house on the Ailsa). Rather than try and work on it on the road, which is a bus route, I'd made use of the cul-de-sac opposite. It was one with a long run in (a good 100 yards), so no houses until you get to end of it. I was in this 'unoccupied' bit, with the entire front end off the car to make life easier for me. Some twat from the estate, in a Puma, comes home and gives me a load of verbal. I am nowhere near his house and explained that I could hardly strip the car to this extend with buses and traffic coming past all the time. Mutter, mutter off he goes.

 

A few hours later, the sodding Police are knocking on the door! WTF?! They were following up on this chap's complaint. I explained that I was doing nothing wrong. They said maybe I should think twice about working on my car. I promised them that I would not. What law was I breaking? Conversation rather petered out and I began to wonder whether the crims had all gone on holiday. I'm still perplexed about it to this day.

 

Another time, the 2CV suffered an ignition fault in the hills of central France, which I temporarily solved by simply turning the engine off. We rolled for several miles like this, until we came to a town. Traffic lights. Ah. Mrs DW gamely got out to give me a shove, and I said I'd find a good spot to pull in and investigate the problem. I did so, basically rolling into a small park, much to the surprise of Monsieur Giffer sitting on a park bench. Bonnet up and I start my investigations, discovering that the transistorised ignition heat sink has come adrift (it is coming adrift again actually, seven years on. Must do something about that).

 

Monsieur comes over for a chat, but my limited French swiftly tells me he doesn't really have anything to offer. I try to explain how one bit of ignition system is too hot, he offers to fetch water. I thank him but say we'll be ok. I actually cured it by removing the side panels, so there was better airflow over the box, and off we went, with a wave.

[catsinthewelder]

I replaced the clutch cable on my first BX in a snow covered carpark that is now a lot nearer home than it was at the time.

 

 

Edit,  the snow had melted by the time I took the picture.

[SherpaMog]

I'm quite big, and I would love to tell a cunt to fuck off, you big fat cunt, but every time I go with my instincts/temper, and say something similar, I get twatted. Bad luck or judgement?

[Kiltox]

People who don't do it fail to realise just how grumpy and irritable you can become working on a car, particularly when placed in what they consider to be an inconvenience....

 

My mate's Sceptre literally died on the access road to the garages behind our flats. Nothing for it but push it to one side and hoik the dizzy out and replace the points and condenser. Along comes Mr "Bought my own house now" in his Trooper, pissed off because he had to do an extra point turn to get into his back entrance (which he never got permission for incidentally).

 

After performing this oh, so difficult, extra manoeuvre he makes the effort to walk back up the slope and berate my friend for "parking" his Humber so inconsiderately. "Why don't you get rid of this old banger and park somewhere else?" he huffed, oblivious to the stupid duplicity of his own question.

 

My mate, slim in build, slow in temper but completely seriously, just turned his head slowly from beneath the bonnet and retorted....."Why don't you fuck off, you stupid fat cunt"

 

He did, too.....

Sometimes the only thing required in such situations is a heavily sweary dismissal. Well played.

[mercrocker]

I'm quite big, and I would love to tell a cunt to fuck off, you big fat cunt, but every time I go with my instincts/temper, and say something similar, I get twatted. Bad luck or judgement?

 

I wouldn't have said it right then and I don't think Trooper-man actually was aware of my friend's boxing reputation.   I think it was the delivery - just very slow, measured and meaningful!

[D Spares & Tyres]

I can't be the only one on here that had needed to pull out some structural damage using a telegraph pole or a tree in as quiet a car park as possible...

[Exiled_Tat_Gatherer]

Had a couple where people have been helpful, brilliant and accommodating and generally all round nice folks which (sadly) surprised me a fair bit.

 

76 Triumph 2500 - hit by unknown object from lorry in front just inside Belgium - I'd owned it a glorious 6hrs from pickup and departure in SE London. Radiator was holed.... I limped it into the services and started stripping the rad out. Local motorway feds (border nearby so they still patrol kind of) pulled up and helped by supporting it while I was underneath disconnecting the final hose (I'd missed!). Then took me all the way to Brussels so I could fix it at home, after telling the service staff they were aware of the vehicle and it was staying for 'a couple of days'....... then GF was not too happy at first when I arrived home accompanied by two of Belgians finest and a radiator in my hands.....

 

78 Alfa GTV did the usual italian electickery and lost all the Lucas special smoke in the centre of town...... just dead....... it was on a bloody horrible incline too so I was fubar'd. Luckily an old guy who MUST have been pushing 65 immediately behind me crept up in the car - and proceeded to shunt me up the hill to the nearest empty parking space....... he explained it was a company car, he was soon retiring and didn't actually give a shit about it, so why not. Lovely old bloke.......

 

On the other hand

 

Toyota MR2 (AW11) - back in 1998 - I worked away a lot, it was parked in the area for our rented accom... shared as always with others in the block. My flatmate heard an almighty bang one morning (I was off with the races) and saw a dolled up bint hightailing it from the front of the MR2, which now had it's rear wheels on the grass as it had been shoved back a fair bit. Front panels all damaged of course and she denied the whole thing.......

My mate, all 7stone wet through went apoplectic when she called him a liar..... when we were standing at her car - showing her the white paint on the rear. He was not a happy bunny....... I went to repairing it as best I could. Took a while as parts weren't the easiest to get hold of, as well as me travelling for work a lot. I heard a muttering of 'look at that pile of crap' etc.... one day when I was under the front end - only to look out and see the fat bitch who'd done the damage who was making the comment. I think the inferred rage of the slow but deliberate pronunciation of certain words/phrases can have more than an adequate effect when needed.

 

Dolomite Sprint - brother had cooked it and not told me. He gaffered the top radiator hose back together and kept shtum....... Of course it boiled and ground to a halt right next to one of the main roundabouts in town. I lost count of the number of horns blaring and people cursing as they squeezed past between the car and others coming the other way....... It was proving a bitch to push (sticking caliper I hadn't noticed as the engine proved a distraction) with my mum trying to help - not one person thought to stop. It was a homeless bloke wandering past with the usual detritus in tow - that shambled over, without a word - heaved into it and we got it into an office (whoever they were) car park. He just ambled off afterwards too - I closed the car up, checked mum was OK and he had already disappeared.......

 

Ex GF - dad had a 3mth old Vitara - the garage hadn't tightened the sump plug properly after first service and it did 300km (to our place) before dropping the whole lot en route to a restaurant. I had a load - hadn't noticed the missing sump plug - so taxi for them both home and I returned with oil and 'would be home soon'.

Noticed oil all over my shoes as I tried to refill the damn thing....... so it's ducked. New motor, I'm not touching it....... Thought I'd better get it into a better place (partially blocking a garage entrance) as there was now a space behind (across a junction but not 'too' far). Auto 4x4's are bloody heavy and not easy in dress shoes covered in oil..... but it slowly moved along back. I was passed by countless cars (includign 2 police cars - all cursing (but they ignored that) the junction was partially blocked) and then a cyclist was stopped at a light and laughing his tits off as I heaved it back into place. Of course, not going to help at all as it was too entertaining. I was almost blue...... and obviously wasn't loud enough to be heard over his laughing when I warned him of the oil on the junction..... As I locked up the car I heard this almighty thud and cursing........ the arrogant prick had just launched himself and designer bike into the tarmac. Not one to smile at others misfortune, I can honestly say that is the one and only time I have witnessed karma in action.

On top of that, recovery cost a fortune, cover car had to be paid for up front and GF's dad NEVER used his credit cards - so they were all out of date - so I had to cover everything. That was the most expensive meal I have ever had in my life.............

[richardthestag]

I can't be the only one on here that had needed to pull out some structural damage using a telegraph pole or a tree in as quiet a car park as possible...

 

ha we did that ^^ with a mates Dolomite after he nudged into the back of something just hard enough to wedge the front hinged bonnet closed and pop a hole in the rad.

 

found a nice telegraph pole attached a rope around it and through the front panel of the old dolly. the cars owner gingerly reverses until the line is tight. result nowt happened. Other of my mad mates offered to give it a go, swear he got the front wheels right off the road. It worked, opened the bonnet and brimmed it with water as some bloke from a nearby house was walking up to us. we fucked off quick.

 

Did a field strip of the staaaaags cooling system and distributor trying to fix a high speed hot running issue in Beausejour Campsite at Le Mans

 

 

broke the ignition chopper reinstalling it for the umpteeth time. mate fixed it using a chunk of stella tin and some insulating tape

 

[pandamonium]

I had a water pump fail on a Lada Riva I owned, while going along the M4, near Reading. I had a spare in the boot (as you do), and I changed it, using the Lada toolkit, and refilled the water from a steam at the next services.

[tooSavvy]

I know of Hillman IMP 'unbending' being performed... Variously by chain/LR (it moving) &or Lamppost/chain (IMP moving)

 

A cheat really as, the way they're built, they fold IN/PULL out

 

 

TS

[D Spares & Tyres]

Oh yes Imps, that reminds me of the Imp I bought.

 

a-framed it back only for a wheel to fall off on the way back... I found it in a hedge complete with hubcap attached and two nuts inside.

 

Turns out all the wheel nuts were finger tight and there were only two on each one but all hubcaps were in place.

 

I had no jack with me. The original jacks from the towcar and the Imp were missing.

 

Had to wander around a small village until I found signs of life. I found a teenager messing with his bike in a garden and he lent me the jack out of his grandmothers modern hatch.

 

I could fill this thread with breakdown stories