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The 'Grumpy Old Man' thread.


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#66211 OFFLINE   beko1987

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 04:17 PM

Fit a reverse beeper:

https://www.youtube....h?v=_aFizlXs-7U

And don't tell her about it.


Can you load self recorded stuff for added lolz?

STOP WOMAN, FOR FUCKS Sake etc
  • meowdchina, cms206 and dodgytom like this

2005 Gooner2 2.2dci Auto ex taxi (apparently) (Ex Kiltox)

2008 orl Vauxhalls r Shit Zafira 1.8 SRI 140 (Hers)
 


#66212 OFFLINE   anonymous user

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 04:43 PM

A while ago a friend reversed into a wall, that he knew was there, because the reverse park sensor didn't beep (it had failed).
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#66213 OFFLINE   Cavcraft

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 04:53 PM

I forgot the Ignis had no brakes and drove it into the back of my Vectra the other day. Only a scuff mark on the Vectra luckily.


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"As for actually admitting to liking Corsas on a public forum: you're a bollock-brained, biscuit-eating, faux-northern, bastardy, bollocky, wank-brain"

#66214 ONLINE   Kiltox

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 05:39 PM

Fuck sake he's back this week. Straight on the phone as soon as he got on


Jesus fucking Christ I need to start getting a different coach
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2017 17 Dacia Duster 1.6 Access
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#66215 ONLINE   320touring

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 05:42 PM

Jesus fucking Christ I need to start getting a different coach


buy a mobile signal jammer?
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#66216 ONLINE   bramz7

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 05:59 PM

I wouldn't recommend getting a jammer on a mobile vehicle....

 

 

In other news, I just got off the phone to my mum. When she was returning to Scotland from Colchester a few weeks back her 2014 Fiat Panda 4x4 broke down. The rear differential basically destroyed itself. It has only done 28k and she now faces a bill upwards of £1500 for it. I said to her she may as well complain to both Fiat and Arnold Clarke about it, but equally knowing the latters reputation, suspect they will do nothing.

 

Literally the last thing she needed. She's been walking to work every day since due to this (5 miles return and she's approaching 60), and can't take my 90 year old Gran anywhere. I'd have lent her a car if she didn't live 500 miles away.


Buying and driving Euro shit since 2016.

 

 


#66217 ONLINE   Kiltox

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 06:03 PM

Just out of warranty, 28k miles? They better had do something!!
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#66218 OFFLINE   AlabamaShrimp

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 06:37 PM

Grumpy with myself for being a cock, again!

#66219 ONLINE   wuvvum

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 06:54 PM

The display didn't shift into n, but despite me giving it some beans to pop it up and over it didn't move at all. Knowing that my box is meant to slip internally, I presumed it sensed the obstruction and acted accordingly.

Luckily I don't do it very often (as soon as I parked I knew it would be fun getting out, but it was the 4th car park I tried and I was fucked if I was gonna try the 5th one!) so in theory it shouldn't be an issue. If I can ever try again I will!

Maybe it's to stop people reversing into things? The parking sensors weren't going off, but maybe it's a failsafe so if you slowly reverse into someone/thing when you meant to be in D it just stops you causing total carnage?

Or

attachicon.gifAs fucked m8.jpg

 

I love the look of utter confusion on Bub_Jnr's face in that photo.  I like to imagine that that is how most "normal" people would react to Autoshite.


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#66220 ONLINE   Hooli

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 06:54 PM

I have tried explaining forums like this to people, it doesn't work.


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#66221 OFFLINE   3VOM

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 07:01 PM

Can you load self recorded stuff for added lolz?

STOP WOMAN, FOR FUCKS Sake etc

How about an .mp3 of plastic being crushed and glass breaking which sounds when there is about 3-500mm to go?


  • alf892, tooSavvy, beko1987 and 1 other like this

What's the retail on one of those plumbed in fire extinguisher systems?


#66222 OFFLINE   3VOM

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 07:05 PM

I wouldn't recommend getting a jammer on a mobile vehicle....

 

 

In other news, I just got off the phone to my mum. When she was returning to Scotland from Colchester a few weeks back her 2014 Fiat Panda 4x4 broke down. The rear differential basically destroyed itself. It has only done 28k and she now faces a bill upwards of £1500 for it. I said to her she may as well complain to both Fiat and Arnold Clarke about it, but equally knowing the latters reputation, suspect they will do nothing.

 

Literally the last thing she needed. She's been walking to work every day since due to this (5 miles return and she's approaching 60), and can't take my 90 year old Gran anywhere. I'd have lent her a car if she didn't live 500 miles away.

Sounds like a job for Autoshite-Collective-Car-Loan-man-Person.


What's the retail on one of those plumbed in fire extinguisher systems?


#66223 OFFLINE   Fat_Pirate

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 07:12 PM

Is removing the propshaft an option on the Fiat?  


1996 Jaguar XJ6

1991 MX5

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2002 CLK230 convertible


#66224 ONLINE   Hooli

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 07:39 PM

If the diff has exploderated you'd need the drive shafts out too incase the remains seized the rear wheels.



#66225 OFFLINE   beko1987

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 08:46 PM

How about an .mp3 of plastic being crushed and glass breaking which sounds when there is about 3-500mm to go?


Ha!

2005 Gooner2 2.2dci Auto ex taxi (apparently) (Ex Kiltox)

2008 orl Vauxhalls r Shit Zafira 1.8 SRI 140 (Hers)
 


#66226 ONLINE   bramz7

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 08:49 PM

Is removing the propshaft an option on the Fiat?  

 

If the diff has exploderated you'd need the drive shafts out too incase the remains seized the rear wheels.

 

 

Sadly my mum needs the off road capability due to the road she lives on.

 

Also she mentioned the car basically seized up when it happened. On a motorway. At speed. That could have gone very, very badly.....dread to think to be honest. 


Buying and driving Euro shit since 2016.

 

 


#66227 OFFLINE   sporty-shite

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 09:50 PM

Sadly my mum needs the off road capability due to the road she lives on.

 

Also she mentioned the car basically seized up when it happened. On a motorway. At speed. That could have gone very, very badly.....dread to think to be honest. 

She needs to contact dealer, and be nice, but firm. There must be a shitload of goodwill available there for a three-and-a-bit year old car with low miles. 


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 some potato headed fanny faced shitberg of a cunt in a silver hatchback

 

#66228 OFFLINE   sporty-shite

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 09:50 PM

Best not to try full chat in R in a Merc, though....I will not commit to print how I know that.

You are Brian Harvey, AICMFP.


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 some potato headed fanny faced shitberg of a cunt in a silver hatchback

 

#66229 OFFLINE   drum

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 10:29 PM

Note to self: don't use the rattle gun on hyundai caliper slider bolts.DSC_1561.JPG
'68 land rover 109 3.3 perkins
'71 land rover tacr1 x2
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#66230 OFFLINE   drum

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Posted 12 October 2017 - 10:49 PM

I set about replacing a front spring and TRE.
What a cunt of a job.
Everything was rusted solid.
I had to take the grinder to the drop link top AND bottom bolts.
The two main bolts fixing the strut to the wish bone were siezed to fuck.
Exposed threads completely corroded.
16 stone on the end of the breaker bar saw them go with a bang

While the strut was out if the way, I thought I would take the TRE off.
You guessed it, siezed to fuck.

The bastard thing can sit on axle stands all night,
in the rain, 'cos I've had enough for one night.
'68 land rover 109 3.3 perkins
'71 land rover tacr1 x2
'73 puch maxi 0.05
'79 Brown allegro 1.1
'93 Maestro 1.3
'01 omega 2.6
'02 transit van 2.4

#66231 OFFLINE   Cavcraft

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Posted 13 October 2017 - 12:27 PM

Grafted my bollocks off this week (admittedly for the first time in years) and spent days shifting stuff getting ready for a skip to come. Due this morning, so got up early, made a start and 'we can't do it today now, will have to be tomorrow'.  Hoo-sodding-ray.


"As for actually admitting to liking Corsas on a public forum: you're a bollock-brained, biscuit-eating, faux-northern, bastardy, bollocky, wank-brain"

#66232 OFFLINE   chaseracer

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Posted 13 October 2017 - 12:43 PM

Tell them to GTF and hire one somewhere else?


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#66233 OFFLINE   tooSavvy

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Posted 13 October 2017 - 12:55 PM

How about an .mp3 of plastic being crushed and glass breaking which sounds when there is about 3-500mm to go?


.... Live recording, just 3-500mm too late ....

TS
  • chaseracer likes this

Wallsend?.....it's not the End of the Walled ;<)

35942490325_3f0da8b633_m.jpgSUCKS


#66234 OFFLINE   drum

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Posted 13 October 2017 - 12:56 PM

I set about replacing a front spring and TRE.
What a cunt of a job.
Everything was rusted solid.
I had to take the grinder to the drop link top AND bottom bolts.
The two main bolts fixing the strut to the wish bone were siezed to fuck.
Exposed threads completely corroded.
16 stone on the end of the breaker bar saw them go with a bang
While the strut was out if the way, I thought I would take the TRE off.
You guessed it, siezed to fuck.
The bastard thing can sit on axle stands all night,
in the rain, 'cos I've had enough for one night.

New day, new impetus and the jobs on the santa fe are done.

Does anyone else get the fear when compressing a spring?
DSC_1566.JPG
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#66235 OFFLINE   cort1977

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Posted 13 October 2017 - 01:32 PM

Yes, it's terrifying.


1974 Pontiac Grand Ville Convertible - The Exxon Valdez

1970 Ford Cortina Estate - In a shed in Ireland

 


#66236 OFFLINE   5speedracer

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Posted 13 October 2017 - 01:54 PM

New day, new impetus and the jobs on the santa fe are done.

Does anyone else get the fear when compressing a spring?
attachicon.gifDSC_1566.JPG

Where I worked in my youth the compressors got lost for a while. Changed an Escort strut with the spring bound in welding wire.
HSE, pah!

#66237 ONLINE   meowdchina

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Posted 13 October 2017 - 02:14 PM


Does anyone else get the fear when compressing a spring?
 

 

No.

 

CIMG2134.JPG


Not quite the end of the Earth but
you can just about see it from here.

#66238 OFFLINE   Mr_Bo11ox

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Posted 13 October 2017 - 02:16 PM

New day, new impetus and the jobs on the santa fe are done.

Does anyone else get the fear when compressing a spring?
DSC_1566.JPG


To add extra thrills I always keep my face within 6" of the strut top while doing this job #chucknorris
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#66239 OFFLINE   DodgeRover

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Posted 13 October 2017 - 02:26 PM

New day, new impetus and the jobs on the santa fe are done.

Does anyone else get the fear when compressing a spring?
DSC_1566.JPG


No, put 6 of the mega thick zip ties through it and tighten as you compress if worried, and try to stay out of direct line of fire.

Mind you the old compressors I use look to have bigger hooks with less likely hood of slipping
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#66240 OFFLINE   tooSavvy

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Posted 13 October 2017 - 03:13 PM

Mind you the old compressors I use look to have bigger hooks with less likely hood of slipping


Hazy memory of mine... Engine buddy had home made compressors = threaded bar (*not B&Q) + some obscure/modded cam bearing brackets (forged steel).

Twas looking secure, oh aye ;)


TS

Wallsend?.....it's not the End of the Walled ;<)

35942490325_3f0da8b633_m.jpgSUCKS





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