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The Green Lean Machine - 1974 Ford LTD Leaving the GGG


Junkman

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A glorious barouche like this requires a wardrobe of scratchy synthetic fibre clothing in a variety of dull earth tones and a soundtrack rich with wa-wa pedal. The temporary guardian of this tremendous locomotive deserves an award of some kind, the Order of Distinguished Shite Ownership; it will look like a Feu Orange air freshener to the uninitiated but will be made of swarovski crystal and faux carbon fibre.

 

Are you suggesting I can't wear yellow trousers and listen to the Blues in it?

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Where can we create the biggest chaos?

 

Chasing about Trigger's workplace would be a start.

 

It will be just like a film, what with the squealing tyres circling the shipping containers.  Gunshot sound effects optional.

Not only that, Trigger himself could* assist with any overhead camera work.

 

Felixtowe might be put on the Hollywood map.

 

I am looking forward to this.

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You have unleashed my evil laugh all the birds are falling from the trees!

A Yanky Landyacht is a reasonable replacement for a modern Golf Diseasal isn't it Dan?

Damn right it is! Buy, do not feel remorse or be sorry. You deserve a treat now and again... it's good for you to buy and drive stuff like that!

 

 

I reckon a good blast with a pressure washer will get most of that black off too.

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Brake servos, or front disc brakes, were extra cost options.

So were electric wipers until ca. 1965.

Radial tyres were an extra cost option up to about 1980.

 

So, now you can start slagging off the yanks to your heart's content.

 

But bear in mind, if you would live 400 miles away from the nearest twisting mountain road, what would you rather shell out your dosh on?

A handling package, or straight line ooompf?

 

Do you need electric wipers in Nevada? Or would you rather go for aircon and a heavy duty radiator?

 

What do you need power assisted brakes for in Illinois? You need crossplies there, to get you over the ruts in the roads without spilling your drink.

 

The nice thing was, you had the choice.

You could spec your LTD from Dogdish, Montana, Baptist Church goer, to Louisiana Bayou moonshine runner, and every imaginable flavour in between.

 

I guess mine is the former.

 

I once had a '76 Olds Ninety Eight, bought in Spotweld, South Carolina, or some other godforsaken shithole there I can't remember.

It had a Rocket 455 with dual exhausts, cop spec Hydramatic, export grade springs, rear anti sway bar, power disc brakes, 3 row radiator

and 235/75 radials.

 

South Carolina is famous for two things - good White Lightning and fast cars...

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