A long time ago in a galaxy far far away there was a thinner and financially much more well endowed version of me browsing a set of Ebay saved search perameters much removed from todays SUB £400 template.
I spotted an old green car in the next county, not far from where Papa Shitpeas Snr was residing at that time.
The clickfinger was loaded, turgid and INCREDIBLY POKE READY.
Poke it went. Then poke, poke. Pause. POKE POKE POKE.
CONCRAPTULATE! YOU HAVE WON A OLD GREEN CAR ON EBAY!
Literally days later, the old man collected it for me.
Oh, at this point, I didnt have a driving licence. Though I was already about 5 cars into my ebay/car career.
The Oxford was solid, if clad in very flat thick two tone and would not start. Also the brakes didnt work. Luckily, a condenser and balls of MILD STEEL allowed rehoming to commence the same callender day.
It went round the back of John Dere dealership in Cramlington and we washed it.
The three spotlights (one fucking peaked) on the front and the 8 ball gear shifter were of course my idea. 2 kewl 4 fuck skewl m9. Rolls eyes.
The carpet was poor so my stepmother literally retrimmed it in offcuts left over from her recent bathroom remodeling.