Worst eBay adverts

[bunglebus]

Well that's worth quoting before the ad vanishes;

 

This van has bean sat 2 years I had sum bad luck it started with it beading a new engine so I bort a new engine I baleave it cam from ivasell cost me 1300 pounds plus fitting I got it back on the road and a month later driving down motorway the thermostat housing cracked and I cook the new engine and I took the head of Wich is nowe in back the off van with bumper

[5speedracer]

Be simpler to just say it's fecked.

[spartacus]

It's got to be a joke, surely? You couldn't possibly spell that badly and not know it, in which case you'd get help writing your advert... Wouldn't you?

[Bianconeri]

It's got to be a joke, surely? You couldn't possibly spell that badly and not know it, in which case you'd get help writing your advert... Wouldn't you?

 

Modern life I'm afraid. If these people do know they have a problem with spelling in grammar then they've been told it doesn't matter (so your problem M5) or they really don't know and that will be because no one in the education system told them or did anything about it (because good communications isn't really just good manners is it?).

 

I suspect the "pace of modern life" is in there as an excuse, along with Brexit, "I've got a life", the fact it's hot and there is no cellphone coverage where they are..

[bunglebus]

Kwality images

 

 

 

[bunglebus]

BMW 106

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/BMW-106-series-/162561308925?hash=item25d968b8fd:g:PykAAOSwpONZSmFV

 

[Bianconeri]

BMW 106

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/BMW-106-series-/162561308925?hash=item25d968b8fd:g:PykAAOSwpONZSmFV

 

SomeTW@ has done that for a bet, surely?

[bunglebus]

Sounds like our old friend again?

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/STUNNING-T-FORD-FIESTA-1-2-ZETEC-EX-MET-POLICE-TV-VEHICLE-AMAZING-ROAD-LEGAL-FUN-/272733299700?hash=item3f802be3f4:g:JQ4AAOSwFJBZTn0j

 

“HELLO FREINDS PLEASE MY I ADVISE HAD FRAUD TRANSACTION & HAD PROBLEMS WITH MY ACCOUNT .EBAY HAVE BEEN AMAZING VINCE IN CUSTOM SUPPORT * ALL HAVE BEEN SO HELFUL THANK YOU EBAY TEAM US & UK classic ford police prop vehicle for sale PURCHASE FROM UK POLICE TV CAR HIRE IN WEST SUSSEX .in gleaming diamond white & metropolitan stripes this car is very quick & pull well ,only 82.000 miles 2 owner car 5 speed £10 fuel goes far cheap ROAD TAX WE CAN DELIVER TO FILM LOCATIONS £250 CAR HIRE PER DAY HOME WORK OUR CARAVAN FROM STANMORE TO YORKSHIRE”

 

FILM & TELEVISION CAR HARROW FORD FIESTA EX POLICE CAR 999 T STUNNING CAR IN EVERY RESPECT & WONDERFUL FOR ITS AGE 

BOBYWORK IS SUPERB STARIGHT & HONEST WITH NO DAMAGE HPI CLEAR £10 FUEL TAKES TO TO  THE CAFE & OUT ABOUT . VERY POWERFUL LITTLE FORD PULLS VERY WELL 5 BOX IS SUPERB

 

MOT HAS JUST EXPIRED SO VERY LOW PRICE £895 TO GIVE YOU ALL A CHANCE 

INTERIOR IS TOTALLY ORIGINAL WITH ORIGINAL HOT FRONT SCREEN WORKING AIR BREZZE 

CAR OWES A GRAND 1K 

TV LIGHTS INCLUDED ROAD LEGAL FORD LOK NICE WITH SOME DEEP BANDED STEEL WHEELS 

ABS PAS AIR BAGS 

THANK YOU 07886 782375 VERY RESPONSIBLE DELIVERY WE USE SHIPLY

[JayW]

I genuinely believe we have the Internet to blame for this piss-poor language.

 

After all, prior to the internet, you'd never ever have seen or witnessed what these morons wrote.

 

Stupidity is just so much more accessible now.

 

Enjoy.

[Melfjord]

I wish I still could find the screenshots to prove this one. In norway a golf for sale that literally is under snow. 4 photos of snow will the boot of a car poking out.. and i believe it actually sold too... Couldn't even tell what colour it was... 

[Stroller133]

My son is studying 'math'

 

That's all I have to say

No he isn't!

 

To be clear I'm being a silly, change resistant pedant, not actually trying to start an argument or cause offence.

[bunglebus]

Ultra rare Australian 1.6GTi Escort;

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Ford-Escort-The-very-rare-1-6Gti-Some-say-they-dont-exist-V5-states1-6Gti/263335002928?hash=item3d4ffd4330:g:OL4AAOSwZlZaEv2S

 

[Ben_O]

Ultra rare Australian 1.6GTi Escort;

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Ford-Escort-The-very-rare-1-6Gti-Some-say-they-dont-exist-V5-states1-6Gti/263335002928?hash=item3d4ffd4330:g:OL4AAOSwZlZaEv2S

 

That is just a pile of shit.

 

 

 

These cars were built in Germany which explains why there is only a slightly rusty bit on the offside rear wheel arch

Does it?

[mitsisigma01]

Here's some other brilliant advertising;

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even our sister branch when I worked at VW got it wrong;

 

 

 

 

 

 

And my absolute favourite;

 

HOW BLOODY ANNOYING IS IT WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETIMES SPENT AGES READING A THREAD AND THEN YOU FIND THAT PHOTOBUCKET HAS FUCKED IT ALL UP AGAIN . DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT THE ORIGINAL PHOTO'S WERE ???

[flat4alfa]

No and Photobucket didn't care.

[bunglebus]

I know what two were;

 

Image001_zps5c132beb by RS, on Flickr

 

DSC00685 by RS, on Flickr

 

(I deleted all my Photofuckit pictures out of churlishness anyway)

[bunglebus]

If you can make sense of this you're doing better than I am

 

RENAULT 5 CAMPUS (RED)..1989 (91)..REG (G391GUX)..3 DOOR..1.1 (PETROL)..46 (BHP)..5 SPEED MANUAL GEARBOX..74000 MILES (LOW MILLAGE)..LONG M.O.T..M.O.T APRIL 2021 (NO ADVISORIES)..FULL SERVICE HISTORY..11 STAMPS IN SERVICE BOOK..7K, 13K, 19K, 23K, 30K, 39K, 51K, 55K, 61K, 63K, 71K..FULL SERVICE HISTORY UP TO 71K..2 GENLTEMAN OWNERS FROM NEW..SAME GENTLEMAN OWNER SINCE 2014 (LAST 6 YEARS)..AND PREVIOUS OWNER WAS ALSO A GENTLEMAN!..CLEAN CAR INSIDE AND OUT FOR THE YEAR! ..DRIVES WELL..4 GOOD TYRES/SPARE WHEEL..ELECTRIC WINDOWS..2 KEYS..CENTRAL LOCKING..(SPARE KEY)..CD/RADIO..NICE INTERIOR DARK GREY..4 SEATS..SEATS FINISHED IN DARK GREY..SEATS IN GOOD CONDITION WITH NO WEAR,RIPS OR STAINS..VERY SPACIOUS INSIDE..VERY NICE TO DRIVE..GOOD SIZED BOOT..PARCEL-SHELF..VERY ECONOMIC CAR TO RUN..VERY GOOD MPG..CHEAP INSURANCE..PERFECT FIRST CAR!..VERY APPEALING TO THE FIRST TIME BUYER!..OR A LOW COST SMALL FAMILY CAR!..MUST BE SEEN! ..FIRST TO SEE WILL BUY!..TEST DRIVE WELCOME!..3495.00..FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THIS CAR OR TO ARRANGE A VIEWING PLEASE CALL..TEL: MICHAEL ON 07860 888 267 OR MIKEY ON TEL: 07594 355 055..HERE AT M AND M LYONS CAR SALES WE STOCK A WIDE SELECTION OF QUALITY SECOND HAND USED MOTOR VEHICLES..WE WILL MEET YOUR MOTORING NEEDS. WE PRIDE OURSELVES ON STOCKING CARS SUITABLE FOR THE FIRST TIME BUYERS..LOW TAX, LOW INSURANCE TO HELP YOUNG DRIVERS GET STARTED AND ON THE ROAD..PLEASE VISIT OUR EBAY SHOWROOM TO VIEW ALL OTHER VEHICLES LISTED FOR SALE..OPEN MONDAY TO SUNDAY FROM 9:00 AM TO 5:00 PM (OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK) INCLUDING BANK HOLIDAYS..LATER VIEWINGS CAN ALSO BE ARRANGED UPON BOOKING..M AND M LYONS CAR SALES (BUY WITH CONFIDENCE)..FATHER AND SON (FAMILY RUN BUSINESS)..WE CAN INCLUDE WARRANTIES..ALL WARRANTIES SOLD THROUGH WARRANTY WISE (APPROVED DEALER)..3 MONTHS 6 MONTHS 12 MONTHS EXTENDED WARRANTY ALSO AVAILABLE..ONE OWNER CARS FROM NEW..FULL SERVICE HISTORY RECORDS..CHEAP TAX CARS..ALL CARS ARE HPI CLEAR AND VOSA MILEAGE CHECKED..ALL CARS COME WITH LONG M.O.T'S IF NOT 12 MONTHS..12 MONTHS M.O.T AVAILABLE..MINOR SERVICING AVAILABLE (TRUSTED LOCAL MECHANIC)..ON THE ROAD TEST DRIVES ARE ALSO AVAILABLE!..ALL OUR CARS ARE FULLY VALETED TO A HIGH STANDARD AND PREPARED BEFORE SALE!..ALL CARS ARE READY TO COLLECT AND DRIVE AWAY SAME DAY!..DRIVE AWAY INSURANCE..VEHICLE TRANSPORTATION SERVICES..NATIONWIDE DELIVERY AVAILABLE IF REQUIRED AT ADDITIONAL COST (1.00 PER MILE) STANDARD DELIVERY CHARGE!..LOCAL TRAIN STATION COLLECTION ALSO AVAILABLE (TELFORD CENTRAL, SHREWSBURY, WHITCHURCH, STAFFORD AND CREWE)..NEWLY LISTED CARS DAILY!..DEPOSITS NOW BEING TAKEN! ..PAYMENT CAN BE MADE VIA BANK TRANSFER OR CARD MACHINE (OVER THE PHONE)..100.00 DEPOSIT REQUIRED TO HOLD ANY CAR!..FINANCE ARRANGED..CARD PAYMENT FACILITIES..ALL MAJOR CREDIT CARDS/DEBIT CARDS TAKEN..FOR ANY FURTHER QUESTIONS OR ENQUIRIES PLEASE DON'T HESITATE AND CALL TODAY ON..TEL: 07594 355 055 OR 07860 888 267 (M AND M LYONS CAR SALES)..YOUR TRUSTED LOCAL CAR DEALERSHIP IN HINSTOCK, MARKET DRAYTON, SHROPSHIRE

[Tadhg Tiogar]

3 hours ago, bunglebus said:

If you can make sense of this you're doing better than I am...

Sorry, what was the middle bit again?

[bunglebus]

Every Word Starts With A Capital

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1977-Cadillac-Fleetwood-Formal-Limousine-With-Glass-Division-Celebrity-Owned-/255264190510?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&_trksid=p2349624.m46890.l49286&mkrid=710-127635-2958-0

[mitsisigma01]

Last time I used Google search was for undertakers/funeral services ... Every advert suggestion is now guess what ....

 

[sutty2006]

52 minutes ago, bunglebus said:

Every Word Starts With A Capital

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/1977-Cadillac-Fleetwood-Formal-Limousine-With-Glass-Division-Celebrity-Owned-/255264190510?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&_trksid=p2349624.m46890.l49286&mkrid=710-127635-2958-0

His stuff is always over priced, he had something similar with a v8 diesel in (worst v8 Diesel engine ever produced) and it was waaaaaay over its value. Nice caddy none the less. Needs painting white and using for weddings 👌

[bunglebus]

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/175647838301?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=iOplOvoMQzW&sssrc=2349624&ssuid=X5RtjeAxSP-&var=&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY

Hi i selling my lovely car. Its on weary good condition and have full body work new painted. On professional garage. This nice. car have only 103.600 mile. MOT expiry on 19.02.2024. This car no have eny follts or damages. Engine size 2.2 turbo disel. 150hp. Driving weary nice.write any other questions. i will answer.

[goosey]

13 minutes ago, bunglebus said:

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/175647838301?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=iOplOvoMQzW&sssrc=2349624&ssuid=X5RtjeAxSP-&var=&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY

Hi i selling my lovely car. Its on weary good condition and have full body work new painted. On professional garage. This nice. car have only 103.600 mile. MOT expiry on 19.02.2024. This car no have eny follts or damages. Engine size 2.2 turbo disel. 150hp. Driving weary nice.write any other questions. i will answer.

Sometimes there’s just so much beauty in the world, I feel like, I can’t take it

[Alan_Green]

On 25/12/2021 at 15:15, mitsisigma01 said:

Last time I used Google search was for undertakers/funeral services ... Every advert suggestion is now guess what ....

Defence solicitors?  Dating sites?  God?

[sierraman]

I like the ones where you’ve to find in the block of text what’s actually wrong with it...

HERE WE HAVE A RENAULT MEGANE 2010 IN A 10 PLATE LOOKING RESPLENDENT IN BRIGHT DIAMOND SHINING WHITE VETY PRACTICAL CAR FOR A FAMILY OR A YOUNG FARMER HAS ALL THE FEATURES YOU MIGHT EXPECT LIKE A STEERING WHEEL FIVE SEATS AND SOME HANDLES FOR THE DOORS ENGINE FUCKED AIR CON BLOWS ICE COLD A REAL CREDIT TO ITS PREVIOUS OWNER WHO LOVED ABD CHERISHED THE CAR UOU CAN SEE IN THE RECEIPTS FROM B AND M FOR AIR FRESHNERS NINETY NINE POUNDS ADMIN FEE COMES WITH ALLOY WHEELS A REAL STEAL THIS WONT BE AROUND FOR LONG GEARBOX JUDDERS PLEASE NO OFFERS AND PAYMENTBACCEPTED ONLY IN BITCOIN OR RENMINBI OK PLEASE PHONE ANY TIME IF DAY BUT NO CALLS AFTER 3AM 

[sutty2006]

13 hours ago, bunglebus said:

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/175647838301?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=iOplOvoMQzW&sssrc=2349624&ssuid=X5RtjeAxSP-&var=&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY

Hi i selling my lovely car. Its on weary good condition and have full body work new painted. On professional garage. This nice. car have only 103.600 mile. MOT expiry on 19.02.2024. This car no have eny follts or damages. Engine size 2.2 turbo disel. 150hp. Driving weary nice.write any other questions. i will answer.

That colour scheme would suit a canal boat or a gypsy caravan……. Not a jag 🤣🤣🤣

[somewhatfoolish]

1 hour ago, sierraman said:

I like the ones where you’ve to find in the block of text what’s actually wrong with it...

HERE WE HAVE A RENAULT MEGANE 2010 IN A 10 PLATE LOOKING RESPLENDENT IN BRIGHT DIAMOND SHINING WHITE VETY PRACTICAL CAR FOR A FAMILY OR A YOUNG FARMER HAS ALL THE FEATURES YOU MIGHT EXPECT LIKE A STEERING WHEEL FIVE SEATS AND SOME HANDLES FOR THE DOORS ENGINE FUCKED AIR CON BLOWS ICE COLD A REAL CREDIT TO ITS PREVIOUS OWNER WHO LOVED ABD CHERISHED THE CAR UOU CAN SEE IN THE RECEIPTS FROM B AND M FOR AIR FRESHNERS NINETY NINE POUNDS ADMIN FEE COMES WITH ALLOY WHEELS A REAL STEAL THIS WONT BE AROUND FOR LONG GEARBOX JUDDERS PLEASE NO OFFERS AND PAYMENTBACCEPTED ONLY IN BITCOIN OR RENMINBI OK PLEASE PHONE ANY TIME IF DAY BUT NO CALLS AFTER 3AM 

Are there really wannabee backstreet dealers asking for bitcoin for ropey old renners or other shite? Might as well ask for ningis or flanian pobble beads.