Conrad D. Conelrad Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 In the interest of that nice R16, may i suggest to change the side of the road until you see signs reading "Red Lion", "Royal Oak" or similar."Gawd save the Queen!!"[Head on collision with Audi doing 500kph] alcyonecorporation, Junkman, Pillock and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michael t Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 F****in brilliant stuff! Semi-apologies for the numerous "Michael T liked" notifications you'll be getting but this is just top notch! Conrad D. Conelrad, Junkman and Louise2cv 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pshome Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 What is your outfit? Cord jacket and Fedora are compulsory driving a R16 in Germany. Magnificent Rustbucket and Junkman 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conrad D. Conelrad Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 Food for car.  Food for people  tinribs, richardthestag, pshome and 15 others 18 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conrad D. Conelrad Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 We've crossed the border into the Netherlands. This is how they welcome you:Â pshome, Magnificent Rustbucket, drum and 6 others 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beko1987 Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 Pick up some 'supplies' for shitefest whilst your there... Lacquer Peel, Junkman and bub2006 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sloth in a bowl Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 'Agent Orange to base, Agent Orange to base. I think they spotted me, the targets took a photo as they passed.''This is base. Orange, were you wearing the giraffe disguise again?''Maybe, why?''You know that disguise is only approved for use in Kenya, and zoos''But I like the giraffe disguise, you can see lots of stuff from up there.''Orange, get back in the badger outfit and keep your nose to the ground.''Bastard.''Arsehole.' drum, Magnificent Rustbucket, wuvvum and 19 others 22 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John F Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 Little known fact: you can see all of the Netherlands from the top of that giraffe. robinmasters, Junkman, carlo and 8 others 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junkman Posted June 1, 2017 Author Share Posted June 1, 2017 Doesn't matter what's going on in reality, I prefer the Sloth version! Me too! Sloth in a bowl and eddyramrod 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junkman Posted June 1, 2017 Author Share Posted June 1, 2017 Excellent! I reckon they would have hurried things along if you'd told them it needed to be back in the UK for an event called Shitefest. I have no problem travelling through half of Europe in a shagged R16, but Linconshire?No thanks. pshome and eddyramrod 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sloth in a bowl Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 'Base to all agents, Base to all agents. Plan Belgium is in operation. For decades we have been making the Flanders roads as unpleasant as possible to stop people from buying cars in Germany and driving them to the channel. Our day of glory has now arrived.''Base, this is Antwerp, I just want to point out that they are in a Renault 16, it has soft suspension and nice seats.''Base to all agents, Base to all agents. Fuck.' chaseracer, Magnificent Rustbucket, eddyramrod and 7 others 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conrad D. Conelrad Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 Previous owners left us one CD. Â Junkman, nacho man, CGSB and 9 others 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beko1987 Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 It's got a cd player? I'm amazed junkman let you both buy it at all. You'll be telling me it's a manual next... Junkman and Magnificent Rustbucket 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cleon-Fonte Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 I had no idea giraffes were native to the Netherlands. Junkman 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frogchod Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 Due to brexit bollox all imports of non British cars has been banned with immediate effect.Therefore you must detour to northern France and store it in my barn hairnet, beko1987 and Junkman 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stillOrange Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 Erm, I don't think they are heading for the UK just yet .... 😠Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Felly Magic Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 It's got a cd player? I'm amazed junkman let you both buy it at all. You'll be telling me it's a manual next... I do believe it does have 3 pedals and a funny gearstick that you have to shift yourself to increase or decrease forward motion. This cannot be Junkman, and clearly is an alien imposter possibly from the Fens Junkman and pshome 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frogchod Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 Erm, I don't think they are heading for the UK just yet .... Scrapyard raid in France for the correct gearbox ? Magnificent Rustbucket, pshome and Junkman 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conrad D. Conelrad Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 Beep beep, it's a truck load of my forum posts in transit Magnificent Rustbucket, pshome, dome and 12 others 15 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Felly Magic Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 Now you need to spot a coach from the Fucker company privatewire and Junkman 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hairnet Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 louwman??? ps le frog vite vite oof Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sloth in a bowl Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 Were are you going? Sun in the west, shadow on left. You going South!!!! I may have had a whisky too many to control !!!! output, but SHITEFEST tomorrow, so can be excused. I think the sweary Len Deighton may be over for the evening.  P.S. thank you to all whom liked my posts today, it made a very dull day at work, much more fun. Junkman, The Moog, brandersnatch and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conrad D. Conelrad Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 Uhh  Junkman 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sloth in a bowl Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 Agent Orange stikes omegod, Magnificent Rustbucket and Junkman 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pshome Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 Uhh All french cars do that, just stop using the indicators, old mechanical flasher relays draw a lot of current. Junkman 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BorniteIdentity Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 Uhh  First a button with a small asthmatic boy on it, now a guage adorned with dice. Bizarre. Junkman and Dick Longbridge 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conrad D. Conelrad Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 The indicators are not on. That's at 100kph. Â We have missed our ferry. We have got lost. We are rapidly running out of time to reach the port. The centre console has broken. johngarty, Uncle Jimmy, Junkman and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pshome Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 ... talk to Junkman about this. Junkman 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richardmorris Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 The indicators are not on. That's at 100kph. We have missed our ferry. We have got lost. We are rapidly running out of time to reach the port. The centre console has broken. michael t, Louise2cv, Sloth in a bowl and 6 others 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pshome Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 Find next E-car charging point, steal battery from Tesla: enough energy to run ignition, CD-player and flashers all the way home. Magnificent Rustbucket, Lacquer Peel, dollywobbler and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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