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The Epic Austrian owned R16 from Germany doing French things in a Parallel Universe near England Saga


Junkman

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Mounting problems (<- see what I did there?).

 

 

 

The mangled bumper my car came with is not its original one. It's a later TS bumper with the indentations and mounting brackets for the spot lights. 

The replacement I got from Dodgytom is the correct one for my car, hence has no indentations for spot lights.

 

24287512278_15de3685ea_b.jpg

 

 

For aesthetic reasons, I much prefer this setup and would actually like to do away with the spots.

However, the headlights, especially when fitted with yellow bulbs, which is absolutely essential because vanity,

are woefully shit, hence the spots are indispensable.

I'm thus not sure what to do and will therefore do the only sensible thing - procrastinate the decision.

 

In the meantime, the replacement bumper is going to receive some much needed rust removal and protection.

 

24287509918_85feca783d_b.jpg

 

 

To do this right, the bumper has to be disassembled without breaking any of the dreaded threaded studs.

Surprisingly I succeeded:

 

26363299169_0b413deb9d_b.jpg

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That bumper has been dry stored for 20 years I think.

 

Im pretty sure that rather than being from Mouseflakes it was off my very first R16.

 

Now, being old and bald and smelling of mould, my memory isn't what is used to be but I think this was the bumper that spent a decade in my mothers loft then a few years in a friends barn, then a few years in my cow shed

 

Here it is the car I think its offpost-19511-0-93844200-1509743702_thumb.jpg

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Oooh, orange reversing lights issue, très rare indeed. Is my assumption that it's a TL correct?

If so, the bumper is indeed correct for my car, being a GL according to Spaldingian R16 Guru.

 

What happened to that car?

 

 

BTW, I did manage to rustproof the backsides of the bumper today, so provided the paint dries until tomorrow

(I have been watching it extensively, nothing is more exciting than watching paint dry) and the weather doesn't

play foul, I shall be able to fit the new* bumber to-morrow.

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Yes it was a 1565cc TL with around 55,000 on the clock

 

I drove it for a bit but when I checked it over for an mot I gave it a good prodding with a screwdriver. Found various holes and when I poked one of the rear suspension mounts the car visibly sank a couple of inches.

 

Knowing what I know now it would be repairable but the car was worthless then and nobody wanted to fix it anyway.

 

I broke it up. Totally stripped it. The engine is now in a Lotus Europa. Scrap was worthless then so the shell was pushed down a steep bank on the farm where I was keeping it. As far as I know its still there

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Fuck.

 

Why is every fucking fuck putting on a fucking fight, ffs?

 

Anyway, from experience (guess how I know) I mounted the numberplate before I did anything else.

 

38137406172_78803e02a4_b.jpg

 

This required drilling of a pair of new holes. Exactly why Renault made this section of the bumper from the

thoughest hardened steel known outside the military industrial complex is beyond me.

 

Anyway, many a drill bit later the bumper was back together. Behold sophisticated* rustproofing:

 

38169374091_f2638218e2_b.jpg

 

38113409326_a097d50993_b.jpg

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Next the old bumper had to come off.

 

If you think that was easy, think again:

 

24316670228_b138baf7fb_b.jpg

 

Captive nut not being that captive. Fuck.

 

This is what a debumpered R16 looks like:

 

38137396662_afe893d1ed_b.jpg

 

 

Then there was this;

 

38137398422_b081248dbb_b.jpg

 

Two fucking different length dumb irons!

So I had to fucking swap those, too, a chore I'll fucking outsource to someone who killed his mother next time.

 

It also got fucking dark and started fucking raining.

Besides. It was fucking cold.

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It's a parallel universe. Completely void of cakes for a Nifty.

I'm kind of liking my parallel universe, since it allows me to shout 'Fuck!' a lot and makes me feel like being in a 1960s French b&w film every time I drive the car.

You know the kind. Where Lino Ventura smokes Gauloises and kicks everyone's face in and wimmin don't shave their armpits, like Joanna Shimkus.

 

Baise moi.

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Oooh, orange reversing lights issue, très rare indeed.

 

Quite by chance, I was editing one of my French photos this morning and the subject is a pre-facelift Rover P6. It also appears to have orange reverse lights, is that something that was required in France for a while? Until this morning I'd never heard of such a thing.

 

Anyway, good to see more progress on the 16.

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