Car magazine's GBU, 1977

[Crankshaft]

I reckon CAR was the best magazine of the 70s/80s and always liked their 'For, Against, Sum-up' verdicts in the back of each issue. All cars were listed under Interesting or Boring. Some of the Boring ones are quite amusing. I think Nissan stopped lending them cars at one point.

 

'The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: Our tell-it-like-it-is guide to all the new cars on the market.'

 

Some verdicts of 70s shite from my Dec '77 copy...

 

Morris Marina

For: Performance, room. Against: Everything else utterly appalling. Sum-up: Embarrassment.

 

Toyota Carina

For: Trusty. Against: So mundane. Against: ZZZZZZ.

 

Chrysler Hunter

For: Price? Against: Just about everything. Sum-up: Horrid.

 

Rover SD1

For: Style, go/consumption. Against: Nasty interior, delivery delays. Sum-up: BMW-beater.

 

Austin Princess

For: Room. Against: Thirsty. Sum-up: Good, but more for the older man.

 

Citroen GS

For: Refinement. Against: Very little. Sum-up: World beater.

 

Let me know if you would like to see any other verdicts, prices etc.

[Bobthebeard]

Jalopy magazine was obviously later than 1970's.

But the car verdicts/ buyers guides were hilarious.

If only I could read some of them again.

 

Along the lines of:

"Likely to dissolve after an overnight rain shower. Just leaving a car shaped brown stain on the drive"

Etc.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Some of my favourites were( I think, it's been a long time);

As flash as a rat with a gold tooth. Cadillac , possibly Coupe de Ville or Brougham.

 

Oh death, where is thy sting? Triumph Spitfire

 

Cortina in drag. Obviously for the Capri

 

Their totally biased love for Alfasuds and GSes meant there was never any point in reading a Giant Test that featured either- I can't remember what happened when both were in the same test- must have caused meltdown in Smithfield.

[mk2_craig]

Nissan Sunny. A Datsun for the 80s. 90 year olds will like it too

[carlo]

Yes i remember that Sunny one.  Another which sticks in my mind was for a Lancer estate I think:

 

For: Tail lights

Against: everything aft

 

forgotten the summary was pretty biting no doubt.

[Timewaster]

Was it the Alfasud that was said to have rampant rust everywhere with the possible exception of the tyres and seats?

[Crankshaft]

Jalopy magazine was obviously later than 1970's.

But the car verdicts/ buyers guides were hilarious.

If only I could read some of them again.

Along the lines of:

"Likely to dissolve after an overnight rain shower. Just leaving a car shaped brown stain on the drive"

Etc.

I should have said CAR was the best 'mainstream' car magazine.

 

I don't remember ever seeing Jalopy - it sounds ace. Off to eBay to find one.

[Bobthebeard]

I should have said CAR was the best 'mainstream' car magazine.

I don't remember ever seeing Jalopy - it sounds ace. Off to eBay to find one.

You won't regret it!

One fine publication. I still miss it!

[Guest Lord Sward]

The MGB was savaged in its final year.

[holbeck]

From memory

 

Montego 2.0.

For: Torquey engine. Against: Talkey engine

[Zantimisfit]

I think reading Car as a kid was basically responsible for my unreasonable prejudice against Japanese cars... they were all shit and/or deathly dull according to Car, and they still are in my head. I've only had one, a Honda Accord that was excellent in most respects but still failed to worm its way into my heart. Just a Honda innit?

 

Same with MGBs, Midgets, Spitfires etc. I love the most hopeless of old cars...I would really like a Hillman Super Minx one day for example, but still turn my nose up at 70s BL sports cars as they were such objects of total derision when I was of the age where I was forming my opinions about such things.

 

Now an MG Montego is another matter entirely. Thats like Lagonda for somebody short on cash.

 

They has it in for Minis as well for a long time...but even as an 8 year old I knew that was bollocks

[Dirk Diggler]

.They has it in for Minis as well for a long time...but even as an 8 year old I knew that was bollocks

Apart from Setright; I still remember a Group Test in around 1990 where the relaunched Cooper nearly won against 205 GTI, R5 gt, Golf GTI etc etc.

 

Read it intermittently until about 2002; glory days well behind it from mid 90s on

 

For Goes like stink

Against Rodeo Ride

Sum-up Wild man on wheels

[Zantimisfit]

Apart from Setright; I still remember a Group Test in around 1990 where the relaunched Cooper nearly won against 205 GTI, R5 gt, Golf GTI etc etc.

 

Read it intermittently until about 2002; glory days well behind it from mid 90s on

 

For Goes like stink

Against Rodeo Ride

Sum-up Wild man on wheels

Yeah remember that one. Tested against those three plus quite a few others...Metro GTI, AX GT, Alfa 33, XR2, Uno Turbo etc. A couple, including Setright, had the Cooper at the top, the 'softees' had it near the bottom cos it 'lacked lumbar support' etc. Jessies!

[Crankshaft]

Apart from Setright; I still remember a Group Test in around 1990 where the relaunched Cooper nearly won against 205 GTI, R5 gt, Golf GTI etc etc.

Read it intermittently until about 2002; glory days well behind it from mid 90s on

For Goes like stink

Against Rodeo Ride

Sum-up Wild man on wheels

I remember that group test with the Mini. Each writer had to rank the cars on which was the most fun to drive and Setright placed the Mini 1st as it was fun even going slowly.

[Crankshaft]

I think reading Car as a kid was basically responsible for my unreasonable prejudice against Japanese cars... they were all shit and/or deathly dull according to Car, and they still are in my head.

Me too. These are from GBU 1982: Datsun

 

Sunny

For: Looks a little better than before. Against: But the dynamic qualities are just as terrible. Sum-up: Another dependable but deadly dull Datsun. Few cars more mediocre.

 

Bluebird

For: Sturdiness. Against: Terrible ride. Sum-up: Among the worst of the Japanese.

 

280C (no F, A, S-U)

Datsun aren't silly - they won't let us drive one.

 

Funny how their opinion of the Mini changed - in '82 it was a 'decrepit curiosity', in the 90s it was seen as a charming/fun/icon or something - with no significant changes.

 

Want my Sandglow Clubman back now.

[Crankshaft]

Love this - makes me want one even more:

 

GBU 1980, Allegro Vanden Plas

 

For: Those impervious to its looks. Against: It exists. Sum-up: Leyland joke.

[martc]

Their totally biased love for Alfasuds and GSes meant there was never any point in reading a Giant Test that featured either- I can't remember what happened when both were in the same test- must have caused meltdown in Smithfield.

 

Still the same with modern mags + Top Gear (TV); but substitute Alfa/GS for anything with a German badge.

[FakeConcern]

I remember the new VW Beetle "What's the point, Dude?"

[sierraman]

They loved the Citroen Visa IIRC

[mat_the_cat]

I remember their sum-up for the (original) Dacia Duster:

"Duster to dust, ashes to ashes. Quick someone, pass us the matches."

[AndyW201]

Loved the GBU. I remember their one for the FSO Polonez,

 

For: In Poland, this is regarded as a luxury good.

Against: So is bread.

Sum up: Lacks solidarity.

 

Nissan Prairie,

 

For: Large doors aid entry.

Against: Why would you want to get in?

Sum up: At least they tried.

 

Subaru XT,

 

For: Certainly distinctive.

Against: So is wearing a fez.

 

Nissan Sunny coupe,

 

For: Enormous rear speakers.

Against: No power, dreadful looks, awful ride and handling.

Sum up: The world's worst "performance" coupe.

 

Reliant Kitten,

 

For: At least it has four wheels.

Against: But not much else.

Sum up: Frightful!

 

Ironically, most or all are autoshite favourites these days!

[Crankshaft]

They loved the Citroen Visa IIRC

Yep.

 

1982 - Sum-up: Peugeot origins but so very Citroen in appeal and ability - sensible in town and good on open road.

[ProgRocker]

Re: Jalopy - I remember a bit of what they wrote about Fiat in their data section.

 

Something along the lines of: 'most of the cars have plenty of GO but also have the capacity to STOP at random intervals.' Quite apt I thought.

 

And a brief data write up about something called an 'Earnshaw Diamond' with a 666cc whirlygig engine. ?????

[ProgRocker]

Yep.

 

1982 - Sum-up: Peugeot origins but so very Citroen in appeal and ability - sensible in town and good on open road.

 

I once had a copy of a 1987 issue of Car and there was a top 10 of their favourite cars (or LKJ Setright's?). The Citroen Visa 17D and 2CV6 was in there amongst the Porsche 911 and other posh motors.

[Crankshaft]

GBU '82:

 

OMFG: TAGORA! £7739 - 10815

 

For: Space, comfort, clean handling, fair zip and stability of SX. Against: Excessive width, slightly sluggish feel of 2.2. Sum-up: Half Peugeot, very good all round, likeable and a serious rival for Granada and Rover.

 

Peugeot 504 £5485 - 8522

Sum-up: Hard to beat, at any price; smooth, quality saloon.

 

Triumph Acclaim, £4829 - 5742

Sum-up: Thorough, impressive and satisfying.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

BMW E21: 'more upmarket Cortina than exalted sports saloon' Probably.

 

Renault 30: 'Only needs self levelling to be a world beater'  O RLY?

 

CAR was a superb magazine until about 20 years ago. LJKS, Bishop, Phil Lllewwellllyn, Frazer, Mel Blaaady Nichols etc made it great. Gavin Green kept the standard high and Russell Bulgin - an utterly awful man in real life - was a superb writer. Steve Crapley was okay but I felt that Bremner was about the last half decent writer before CAR's descent into becoming another coffee table mag.

 

The standard of journalism in car mags like this is utterly dire now. I read - in disbelief - an Autocrap road test involving a new G30 5 Series and a Jag.  It was utter verbal diarrhoea, quite the worst piece of writing I've read for many years.

[dome]

I've just dug out a load of early to mid 90s Car magazines whilst clearing out my Dad's house. I've also got the first 70 odd issues of Evo which I used to love, I was encouraged to see how much some issues go for on Ebay! I'll be keeping the Car magazines and punting the Evos I think. I also found some Performance Cars, I used to love that.

[egg]

I remember that group test with the Mini. Each writer had to rank the cars on which was the most fun to drive and Setright placed the Mini 1st as it was fun even going slowly.

I love that group test, I read it about once a year!

[Felly Magic]

Modern car mags suck up to their advertisers, as they rely on that revenue, as no bugger really buys them. What Car? constantly cocksuck VAG, and Auto Excuse, LOLZ, comedy photoshops as 'exclusives'

[Pillock]

My uncle used to give me CAR magazines as a nipper. I'd flick through the articles but then head straight to the GBU and read any particular scathing ones to my enthralled* family.