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Beige BX - Autoshite joint purchase ACHIEVED - funders/fixers/sarcastic commenters SOUGHT

ParisCommune

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#61 OFFLINE   egg

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 11:53 AM

sorry just in from collecting favorit parts, the last £30 from me.

 

Would poss be interested in future collectivised ownership 


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#62 OFFLINE   alcyonecorporation

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 12:09 PM

I don't do crowdfunding, soz. 


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What we need is more poo brown cars.


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#63 OFFLINE   beko1987

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 12:21 PM

I can't pledge any money but bufty polish services available if it resides on breadvans drive at some point
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#64 OFFLINE   alcyonecorporation

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 12:26 PM

I can't polish worth a wank, either. 


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What we need is more poo brown cars.


Lukas, shaking his head


#65 OFFLINE   Pillock

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 12:29 PM

Between various crowdfunded/joint purchases, and the AS bikes that change hands with or without actually being sold (the white hen, OMGHFHMGF, that Rover with Bollox Powertrain etc), all we really need is some storage and someone that understands how to run a business, and AutoShite Hire could be a reality. AutosHire? ShiteHire? Anyway.

 

There'd be a form that you have to full in documenting all the holes in the floor and a tickbox for "glovebox was full of water again". take a photo of your driving licence on an old 35mm camera, and for a low charge per day you could rent out a wonderful vehicle. Way better than a 5-series BMW for £49 or whatever it is they're offering on telly at the minute.


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#66 OFFLINE   bramz7

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 12:30 PM

Literally just saw this. Top work chaps. Unable to donate right now (don't ask...) But happy to help with parts/work in the future.

Also, shotgun a go in it!
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#67 OFFLINE   trigger

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 12:31 PM

I don't do crowdfunding, soz.

I don't either but I'm pleased others too. Great work guys.
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#68 OFFLINE   Breadvan72

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 12:59 PM

Peeps, I hope that I won't be flamed for politely suggesting that I have done most of the lifting on this so far (which I'm glad to do), and moreover I am working today, allegedly.  If it's not too much trouble, rather than me having to check all contributors and PM them all - which I will cock up anyway because of poor attention span and no mind for detail - can those who wish to offer some funds please PM me, and I shall reply with Paypal details.   My apologies for any inconvenience caused. 

 

Please can those who buy in say if they want to have a share of ownership and what not, or if they are just lobbing some money in and expect nowt but the pleasure of beigeness occurring.    

 

I am not sure that we have as yet reached consensus on who is going to collect, who going to store, who going to be registered keeper, who going to bring to Shitefest if car MoTed by then, and so on.  We will get there in due course.  

 

I have asked seller if any chance of access to car while he is away, but no answer as yet.  


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1975 Triumph Dolomite Sprint 1979 Lancia Beta 1600 Coupe (work in progress) 1980 Yamaha RD125 DX1981 Austin-Morris Sherpa 2.0 Autosleeper1982 Moto Morini 350 Strada1983 Rover SD1 2600 SE1992 Jaguar XJS 4.0 (work not in progress)1994 UMM 4x4 Alter II - Phase 3 - 2.5D<p>1998 Honda CG125 CDI

#69 OFFLINE   Breadvan72

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 01:00 PM

I don't do crowdfunding, soz. 

 

 

Just to clarify, it's not compulsory for everyone on AS to post on the thread.   My apologies if a contrary impression was conveyed. 


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#70 OFFLINE   Skizzer

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 01:05 PM

StillOrange looks to be in pole position for the collection and storing thing.

 

I don't need to own any part of it.  Am happy to chip in further for getting it roadworthy if required.  BV, I'll wire you the dosh as per our previous joint purchase shenanigans.  Edit: Done.

 

It would be nice for it to stay on here and be loved by all, but even if we just get it MOTd and then flog it off as a going concern, that's a better outcome than it getting minced.


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#71 OFFLINE   Breadvan72

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 01:16 PM

Going over £500 is GOOD, if that happens, as there is tax and what not to deal with.  To make the car driveable by someone who does not own it (using his or her own insurance policy if the policy so permits), I will if need be add the car to my group classic car policy.  I would rather not take on the admin cost and premium cost of doing so, but will if need be.  

 

No need for insurance short term if someone is going to trailer the car to a shed somewhere.  

 

I promise full accounting, audited by a Magic Circle Audit Firm and the Parliamentary Select Committee.  Also, if the car breaks down, I will accept personal responsibility for it breaking down, and won't say "give me more money and shut the fuck up".  So there.  

 

It's May Day!   Let Collectivism flourish!   German beardy dude says:  "From each according to his ability, to each according to his need". Fuck you, Jeremy Corbyn.  Yay you, Leon Gambetta.

 

 


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#72 OFFLINE   stillOrange

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 01:16 PM

I'm happy to arrange collection, either try to drive it or will pay for transporter.
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#73 OFFLINE   Skizzer

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 01:23 PM

I will if need be add the car to my group classic car policy. 

 

I'm happy to arrange collection, either try to drive it or will pay for transporter.

 

There you go - heroes at work.  Bonnie Tyler would be positively beside herself.


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#74 OFFLINE   Breadvan72

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 01:33 PM

Could those sending money by Paypal please add their forum name as a note to the payment, thanks.  This is because everyone's real name appears to be Dave, and I have TEH CONFUSE.

 

If you want to add anything else, suggested options include -

 

"Pox Clinic - treatment failure refund."

 

"Hi! Here is my share for the group purchase of the mid Victorian sex toy collection."

 

"Here is your money, you blackmailing scum, now deliver the negatives."

 

"I hope this batch isn't cut with all that baby laxative like the last lot.  There are other dealers, you know."

 

and so on. 


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#75 OFFLINE   Breadvan72

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 01:36 PM

I can't pledge any money but bufty polish services available if it resides on breadvans drive at some point

 

Never in eleventy trillion years.  Polish it at Shitefest?  


1975 Triumph Dolomite Sprint 1979 Lancia Beta 1600 Coupe (work in progress) 1980 Yamaha RD125 DX1981 Austin-Morris Sherpa 2.0 Autosleeper1982 Moto Morini 350 Strada1983 Rover SD1 2600 SE1992 Jaguar XJS 4.0 (work not in progress)1994 UMM 4x4 Alter II - Phase 3 - 2.5D<p>1998 Honda CG125 CDI

#76 OFFLINE   chaseracer

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 01:47 PM

Sorry, been under the Dyane all day.  Â£30 all right?


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#77 OFFLINE   shumarialto

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 01:52 PM

Sorry, been under the Dyane all day.  Â£30 all right?

I need specsavers, just read that as "Sorry been under Diane all day"  :mrgreen:


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#78 OFFLINE   dollywobbler

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 01:53 PM

Nice work chaps. I can't contribute time or funds, but I believe I do have some Mk1 indicators in the garage...
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#79 OFFLINE   Breadvan72

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 01:55 PM

Interim management accounts:

 

Beigemerde PLC

 

Balance Sheet

 

Fixed Assets:  nil

Current assets  500

 

Current liabilities  nil

Long term liabilities 10000000000

 

Total liabilities 10000000000

 

Net Assets (9999999500)

 

Shareholders' Equity

 

Capital invested  500

Retained profit  - see P and L

 

Total shareholders' equity  (9999999999500)  OK, 500 really

 

Profit and Loss

 

Sales  - 40

 

Purchases - 500

 

Operating profit (460)

 

(Scene) Tax payable  - Eleventy Lots

 

Profit after Tax - Packet of Werther's

 

Dividend Payable - Co-op Stamps

 

Retained Profit - the bitter tears of experience (priceless)

 

Chairman's Report:  A healthy start to the venture.  Bear conditions continue, but there are reasons for cautious optimism.  Have you seen my new SD1 in the car park?  Prudent financial management dictates that it's a 2600, not a 3500.  

Ask my assistant Ms Rita Chevrolet for details.   The new fleet vehicles will be base model Sierras or BXs.   The FD's Ford Granada has been wheel clamped at Cliveden.

 

Auditors' Report: It's fucked, M9.

 

Serious Fraud Office report: prosecution threshold passed.  Disqualification proceedings for all directors authorised. 


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#80 OFFLINE   chaseracer

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 01:57 PM

I need specsavers, just read that as "Sorry been under Diane all day"  :mrgreen:

 

At this point, I should draw a discreet veil over certain student shenanigans in mid-80s Newcastle.  Undergraduate librarians can be... surprising...  :)


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#81 OFFLINE   Breadvan72

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 02:00 PM

Market Analyst reports:-

 

P and L more healthy if account on accruals basis rather than cash basis, but cash is King.  

 

Capitalisation a bit flaky - currently reliant on Phase 1 investor, reported to be a quick turn private equity operation seeking early exit.   Phase 2 and 2 plus investors talking, some walking? Paid up share capital is 500, but only 40 allotted.

 

Recommendation:  Hedge.


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#82 OFFLINE   egg

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 02:12 PM

I haz paid BV my £30 to aid his creative accounting.

 

I'm happy to take the following options:

 

1. Watch and cry as it amounts to scrap

 

2. Donate ad hoc bits and bobs as interested onlooker

 

3. 'Formally' take on part ownership/contribution if intention is to sell/roffle once MOT'd or bring it a bit closer to Kent (cos a BX in Lancs is nice, but a bit far for a hoon)


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#83 OFFLINE   Breadvan72

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 02:14 PM

At this point, I should draw a discreet veil over certain student shenanigans in mid-80s Newcastle.  Undergraduate librarians can be... surprising...  :)

 

 

DETAIL, man.  Do you mean librarians who are undergraduates, or librarians of libraries for undergraduates?  Also, underwhom?  Also, did she take her glasses off and do that thing with her hair? 


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#84 OFFLINE   Breadvan72

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 02:19 PM

Thus far I think that about three people have expressed an interest in ownership, and have also put their money up, for which thanks.

 

Short term, the plan is for the car to say in the north west, but long term depends on what people agree, what work it needs, and so on.  

 

I am not fully up to date with pledges, but think that total pledges exceed 500, and on that basis I suggest i get the car insured in my name and use initial amounts over 500 to pay for the cost of doing that, which I expect to be modest (admin fee may be more than additional premium).  MOT needed before VED can be bought.  

 

stillOrange is very generously offering to take the risk of a shortish drive to his storage place, or to pay for a trailer.  Can no shiter offer a trailer or loader for cost of fuel?  The car may be good for a road trip of many miles, but it has been standing a long while, and trailer would make more sense. 

 

Please, people, make suggestions about where to put the car medium to long term ("in the bin" is an acceptable suggestion).  Those who have offered spanner skills and/or spares, many thanks.  Maybe PM stillOrange, as he is likely to have the car in his possession for a bit. 

 

IF we cannot get collection done this week and the seller can't let us in to the shed while he is away, then the car can be collected at the beginning of June.  I hope we can get it before then.  I repeat that I don't want it at my place!  

 

I wonder has someone bought that ace red Pug from tathread?


1975 Triumph Dolomite Sprint 1979 Lancia Beta 1600 Coupe (work in progress) 1980 Yamaha RD125 DX1981 Austin-Morris Sherpa 2.0 Autosleeper1982 Moto Morini 350 Strada1983 Rover SD1 2600 SE1992 Jaguar XJS 4.0 (work not in progress)1994 UMM 4x4 Alter II - Phase 3 - 2.5D<p>1998 Honda CG125 CDI

#85 OFFLINE   Junkman

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 02:27 PM

StillOrange looks to be in pole position for the collection and storing thing.


He might want to change is nick to NotOrangeAnymoreButBeigeNow.


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1971 Mercedes 280SE............................................................fucked

1979 Mobylette AV89............................................................running
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#86 OFFLINE   Junkman

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 02:28 PM

MOT needed before VED can be bought.


Doesn't become true by repeating it over and over again.


1967 Renault 16 TL............................................now with floor and MoT

1971 Mercedes 280SE............................................................fucked

1979 Mobylette AV89............................................................running
1997 Peugeot 405 2.0 Executive Estate.................now with aircon and brakes


#87 OFFLINE   Braddon81

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 02:32 PM

Paid. :-)
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#88 OFFLINE   purplebargeken

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 02:44 PM

Paided too.


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#89 OFFLINE   Longblackcoat

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 02:51 PM

Doesn't become true by repeating it over and over again.


So in what way is it untrue?

#90 OFFLINE   holbeck

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Posted 01 May 2017 - 02:52 PM

done


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