Sam Glover Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 I give you the Renault Vel Satis. For £500 – or less! – you can enjoy all the time-consuming hardship of classic car ownership but none of the driving pleasure. I bought this for £875 before Christmas, suffering the delusion that I was the one soul on earth who wanted a right-hand drive Vel Satis. I realised I was wrong on the way home from Newport to Cirencester. It seems I’m just like everybody else, after all. I had no idea how appallingly over-assisted and under-engaging modern cars have become. I can barely drive it. It’s festered for the past four months with two small but debilitating issues that, due to a lack of motivation, have taken ages to track down and remedy. The first was a ruptured intercooler hose, repaired to beyond factory specification using Volga M21 radiator hose. The second was a furry throttle position sensor, revived by vigorously titillating its carbon tracks with contact cleaner. As far as I can tell from thrashing it repeatedly up and down the lane outside my workshop, it’s now functional. I have absolutely no inclination to splash out on road tax and take it further afield. It clearly needs a better owner. It’s a 2.0-litre turbo petrol manual. It currently appears capable of functioning in a car-like way. Being a Vel Satis, though, it’s only a matter of time before something pitiful fails and renders it undriveable while you spend weeks enjoying internet forums, probing sensors and waking up in the middle of the night thinking of little black plastic boxes with mysterious tendrils. It’s MoT’d until August. It’s done 157,000 miles, but it’s been maintained to an impeccable standard by a skilled Renault enthusiast for the last 130,000. This is all documented. It’s in fine condition. The interior’s very good – and the exterior has nothing worse than a few tiny scuffs and aluminium warts. It’s benefitted from many recent new parts, including a timing belt and tensioner, tyres, battery, ABS pump, water pump, alternator, turbo, brake discs and pads. It comes with various spares and a terrifyingly heavy manual. Current problems:- Radio and sat nav aren’t working.- The tyre pressure sensors were removed rather than replaced at the last tyre change and it bitches on about this constantly.- It intermittently reports an EPS error, which the previous owner was 95% sure he’d tracked to a rear wheel sensor.- Renault Vel Satis It’s near Cirencester. There’s no obvious reason you couldn’t tax it and drive it home… other than it being a Renault Vel Satis. Don’t all rush at once. Sam KruJoe, SiC, somewhatfoolish and 22 others 25 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vince70 Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 That looks an absolute steal for the money and being higher mileage is a badge of honour as you know you've a Goodun but being a Renault are you parking it next to those gas bottles for a reason hoping that they will go off with a bang for the insurance. flat4alfa, chodweaver and nacho man 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiC Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 Ohhhh my. I love a good 2000s Renault, especially the Vel Shatit. This also is really not far from me either. HOWEVER my wife has strictly told me no cars. She also hates red cars. Also said before that she thinks these are super ugly and not to get one. I think I'll be hung, drawn and quartered if I bought this. chaseracer and chodweaver 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BorniteIdentity Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 Wow. Vel Satis in NOT GOLD/SILVER SHOCKER! It's the right price. I don't mean to sound PH, but you can throw it away rather than having the inevitable mental psychosis. Surely just 1 or 2 bits gets you your money back? GLWS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flat4alfa Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 I used to love these and hankered after one The disastrous interrim Avantime experience stopped all that GLWTS #21 please Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lexi Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 There are plusses with these cars. Tons of room for people in the back. You can also get loads of peace and quiet to be yourself..............join the Vel Satis forum barefoot 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaseracer Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 I think I'll be hung, drawn and quartered if I bought this. SOLD!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moog Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 What would be the plural of vel satis? I now have canclip. This only £250 more expensive than the handbrake I am probably going to buy..... beko1987 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xkjagnz Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 I have always fancied one of these - no idea why, thank fuck I'm in NZ and can't be tempted!! STUNO and Twiggy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Station Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 Nice looking cars. But no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chodweaver Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 Mmmmmmmmmm, a red one. But cloth. But low(er) mileage. But with ishoos. They really are lovely things to waft about in, but if wafting isn't one's thing.... GLWTS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barefoot Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 Raffle it, then I can own a VS for eight quid.Just about the maximum a sane person should spend on one. For Fiats Sake and garethj 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
For Fiats Sake Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 I'd like to see one in the flesh but not on my drive. GLWTS anonymous user, barefoot and overrun 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
overrun Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 Not a fan of these, in the looks department, but I have always wanted an Avantime. Ever since the concept art appeared in the News of the World.HNNNGGGG! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brownnova Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 Does the owner get to poke around your collection of fine automobiles Sam? If so maybe you should market it as a £500 ticket to view a private collection of glorious motors... with a 'mystery' free gift at the end. chodweaver and Tamworthbay 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wuvvum Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 This is actually probably one of the better bets as Vel Satises go. 4-pot pez engine, manual 'box and a relatively basic interior means far less to go wrong than a 3.0 V6 DCi Initiale. I'd actually be quite tempted were I not on a self-imposed car buying ban until I can sort my f***ing life out. somewhatfoolish 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripped fred Posted April 11, 2017 Share Posted April 11, 2017 That is a handsome beast. The interior shot makes it look about 16ft wide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pillock Posted April 15, 2017 Share Posted April 15, 2017 This is actually probably one of the better bets as Vel Satises go. 4-pot pez engine, manual 'box and a relatively basic interior means far less to go wrong than a 3.0 V6 DCi Initiale. I'd actually be quite tempted were I not on a self-imposed car buying ban until I can sort my f***ing life out. One could argue there's no better way of sorting your f***ing life out than buying a Vel Satis. Sigmund Fraud, For Fiats Sake, sporty-shite and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squire_Dawson Posted April 15, 2017 Share Posted April 15, 2017 Its fellow French competitor in this market segment was the Citroen C6 I presume. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Moog Posted April 15, 2017 Share Posted April 15, 2017 One could argue there's no better way of sorting your f***ing life out than buying a Vel Satis.And then fixing all the faults with it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isaac Hunt Posted April 15, 2017 Share Posted April 15, 2017 Ahhah, the Renner VeryShitIsThis, proper fits in around here. It's like a a Gooner for the extra brave. Not my bag but GLWTS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somewhatfoolish Posted April 15, 2017 Share Posted April 15, 2017 Is that the blunt end of a Chevvy Corvair? There's a shedular Vel Satis near me, I see it parked outside the newsagents occasionally; not sure of the colour so probs resale silver or JRG. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beko1987 Posted April 16, 2017 Share Posted April 16, 2017 This place needs more modern renault! Someone get it bought. I would, but I already have my own little slice of reliable fear! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
406V6 Posted April 16, 2017 Share Posted April 16, 2017 That green Corvair in the last pic looks VERY tasty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tamworthbay Posted April 16, 2017 Share Posted April 16, 2017 Find the old practical classics articles - it is very tasty indeed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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