The Xantia seems like a fine old car and it's staggering me it's not been snapped up. However, a quick glance on Autotrader and the reason may simply be location.
For a £500 bangernomic purchase, the average person (Autoshite populace, of course, being WAY above average) is unlikely to want to travel more than an hour and a bit to view and/or collect.
Within 60 miles of my postcode, there are 5201 vehicles presently for sale that are under £1000. There are 919 under £500.
Within 60 miles of Supernaut's postcode, there are, erm, 10 cars for sale under £1000. There are none under £500. Within 200 miles there are still fewer cars for sale under £1000 than there are for sale under £500 within 60 miles of me.
So, logically, the answer to this conundrum is to BRING FORTH THE XANTIA SOUTHWARDS!
The collection of the aforementioned vehicle from Manchester represents a good opportunity to do this. Therefore, the rough plan as outlined by Supernaut is for me to splash out on a train ticket to Manchester from that there Milk and Beans, taking all of 1hr 40ms. Then there is a brief walk and a forty minute bus ride which takes me to within a three minute walk of the purchased vehicle. I haven't told Supernaut this yet, but I reckon this will be easier than him trying to collect me from Manchester Piccadilly.
Assuming that the trip from Livingston to Manchester is undertaken without any mishaps (and, on a Friday afternoon around rush hour, this expectation is, I feel, completely reasonable*), a collekshun will occur, and then an interesting two-vehicular convoy will begin eastward from Manchester to the M1 via the A628, during which time it will be gauged the likelihood of the new steed FTPing on its homeward journey.
At the M1, all stuffage will be transferred from Xantia to the new steed, and Supernaut will commence northwards to FRENDZ and I will begin a 100 mile southward jaunt down the M1 from Junction 35a down to Northampton.
The Xantia will then remain within 5-10 minutes of THREE JUNCTIONS OF THE M1 and shall shortly be purchased by someone keen for hot and steamy French-LHM-action (in my head).
The only caveat placed upon this venture by MrsYoof is that I must 'wake up at home' rather than anywhere else, as we have planz on Saturday morning.
It's a rather lot of driving and stuff for me, but Supernaut is essentially going to be clocking up 480 miles in one day (I WORKED IT OUT FOR YOU I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND) and is the real hero of this soon to be story LIVE UPDATED in this very thread.