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My Shitty Old Van

Vauxhall shite

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97 replies to this topic

#1 OFFLINE   cros

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Posted 04 March 2017 - 01:08 PM

I joined a week ago and being a relative newcomer to Vauxhall stuff thought I'd see for myself if their products are really as good as everyone here makes out. To start with the mechanical wipers are a bit of a disappointment, and will probably remain so when it rains. I'd expected flailing rods poking out of the engine, but there's just a cable drive from the camshaft.
IMG_20170304_121026172.jpg
Maybe to compensate, and for added slop, Luton stuck the actual selector mechanism on show under the bonnet instead of inside the gearbox; perhaps they had trouble making it as awful as some of their rivals.

Next comes the handbrake which dangles down from under the dashboard. It eventually connects with the rear brakes via miles of frayed cable- next stop Halfords.IMG_20170304_121220739.jpg
Wiper gear leverIMG_20170304_121046310_HDR.jpg
I can't wait to get behind the wheel
IMG_20170304_121255655.jpg $T2eC16ZHJGwE9n)yUYq,BQG8ijQtkQ--60_1.JPG r


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#2 OFFLINE   Magnificent Rustbucket

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Posted 04 March 2017 - 01:10 PM

Full of petrol too - ready for the road!


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#3 ONLINE   Tickman

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Posted 04 March 2017 - 01:27 PM

I assume this is what was on the trailer in the post from the other day.

Never seen wipers run off the engine before, I need to experience some older cars.


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#4 OFFLINE   cros

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Posted 04 March 2017 - 01:28 PM

Full of petrol too - ready for the road!

I hadn't noticed that- I'm not very good at picking up the small details such as 'its fucked'.


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#5 OFFLINE   cros

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Posted 04 March 2017 - 02:04 PM

I assume this is what was on the trailer in the post from the other day.
Never seen wipers run off the engine before, I need to experience some older cars.

Absolutely! Gives the MIG a chance to cool down while you're splashing the cuprinol on.
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#6 OFFLINE   anonymous user

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Posted 04 March 2017 - 02:20 PM

It appears to have an in cab chamber pot, that's one up on multiple cup-holders in my opinion
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#7 OFFLINE   mercrocker

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Posted 04 March 2017 - 02:38 PM

The wipers are like that to stop you driving it in the rain where it will dissolve......Top stuff, there, Cros its nice to see other folk enjoying their vehicles in similar condition to mine.


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#8 OFFLINE   Breadvan72

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Posted 04 March 2017 - 02:42 PM

This thread is a further step in my gradual conversion to the Vauxhalll Dark Side.  Obi Wan sure will be pissed at me when he hears.


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#9 OFFLINE   TRW

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Posted 04 March 2017 - 03:25 PM

RAT [email protected]@K. YO!

No pineapple shot. 2/10. Disappoint.


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#10 OFFLINE   Station

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Posted 04 March 2017 - 03:40 PM

WTF is that?

#11 OFFLINE   TRW

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Posted 04 March 2017 - 03:46 PM

WTF is that?


Its a Vauxhall Belmont. Can't you recognize it? Where have you been, the moon?


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1992 'Wedge' 418 SLD Turbo 

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1998 Rover 216 Cabriolet

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1999 Freelander 2.0 TD

2002 45 K-14 Impression

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#12 OFFLINE   Asimo

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Posted 04 March 2017 - 04:11 PM

I have childhood memories of the engine driven wipers in the fucked Velox Dad got to replace the dead Zephyr.

At least Vauxhall's mechanically driven wipers increase speed in line with the car's speed. Ford suction driven wipers hardly move when flat out. (Then thrash themselves dementedly as the car decelerates).

Austin etc had the sense to ignore all this nonsense and wipe electric, from the start I think.
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#13 OFFLINE   cros

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Posted 04 March 2017 - 08:40 PM

How smug will I be when the rain becomes torrential and I simply change down a gear and drive everywhere in second. Bedford offered a 3 speeder right into the 70's on the CF. Were they the last?
bedford-pc-03.jpg
PC & CF
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#14 OFFLINE   NorfolkNWeigh

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Posted 04 March 2017 - 09:26 PM

How smug will I be when the rain becomes torrential and I simply change down a gear and drive everywhere in second. Bedford offered a 3 speeder right into the 70's on the CF. Were they the last?
attachicon.gifbedford-pc-03.jpg
PC & CF

In the civilised world the CF was probably the last, but apparently the Septics could still get 3 speed column change Ford F-150 pickups until 1986!
In a similar vein, was the FD Victor the last 3 speed manual British car? Could you get 3 speed FEs? I've seen one with a bench seat and column change , which must make it the last car so equipped, but I don't know if it was 3 or 4 speed.

#15 OFFLINE   JayW

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Posted 04 March 2017 - 10:31 PM

I thought a Belmont was an Astra saloon... ;)
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#16 OFFLINE   Split_Pin

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Posted 04 March 2017 - 10:35 PM

Mechanically powered wipers are a new one in me too, more please!!
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#17 OFFLINE   cros

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Posted 05 March 2017 - 08:02 AM

According to Vauxpedia the FD had 3 speed column change up until 1970; 4 speed with overdrive, sounds much nicer. 2 speed powerglide is mentioned for the first year.
Column change doesn't seem available on the FE but this does:images (1).jpg

#18 ONLINE   Angrydicky

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Posted 05 March 2017 - 08:07 AM

This looks great, more pictures required please!


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#19 OFFLINE   cros

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Posted 05 March 2017 - 11:12 AM

RAT [email protected]@K. YO!
No pineapple shot. 2/10. Disappoint.

Them Polo Fruits will always upstage me- impossible to attach a rack full of cardboard suitcases to a roof made from matchsticks.

IMG_20170305_105928439.jpg IMG_20170305_105751820.jpg

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#20 OFFLINE   cros

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Posted 12 March 2017 - 12:29 AM

The mysteries of the mechanical windscreen wiper are laid bare. It is upgradeable to power an extra blade for the left side of the windscreen, but for me that would be an unconscionable indulgence, a squandering of fuel; passengers will appreciate the view all the more when its sunny.

PC wiper.jpg PC wiperint.jpg

The gearbox is driven all the time the engine is running and there is a self parking mechanism. (Just for the wipers, for the vehicle its available on the Deluxe only.)

 I've dismantled the controls and wiring and carefully removed the wings with an angle grinder. It looks like this, and I can now behold the strangeness of the front suspension. One possible advantage of having the springs and dampers on the 'wrong' side of the kingpins is that the steering linkage is simpler than most independent set-ups from this era- the nipple count is unusually low unlike my Sunbeam which had, I think, 12 on the front axle alone.

PC wingoff.jpg

 

The news from under the rocker cover isn't good, solidified black oil everywhere. In common with the Sunbeam the oil filtration is wretched, not being full flow- lumps are only removed gradually. I might not be sticking with that...

 

 

 

 


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#21 OFFLINE   Junkman

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Posted 12 March 2017 - 01:41 AM

So you don't have to change a fucking ECU?


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#22 OFFLINE   Station

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Posted 12 March 2017 - 03:03 AM

Imagine the horrors of complete engine failure because the windscreen wiper got jammed on a twig.
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#23 OFFLINE   cros

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Posted 12 March 2017 - 08:14 AM

So you don't have to change a fucking ECU?


No mate, good as gold on these.
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#24 OFFLINE   twosmoke300

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Posted 12 March 2017 - 08:34 AM

Stage one remap innit
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One of the funniest things ive read on here - RIP Dave

 

Quote

 

Brilliant... late in for lunch I fired up an off-brand pot noodle and while carrying it to the lounge successfully spilled it all over myself, burned the piss out of my hand, soaked my phone with the juice, soaked a load of expense receipts I was also carrying and it hit the hall floor and just fucking exploded....it was literally dripping from the ceiling in my newly decorated hallway. The obvious and considered reaction was to throw an immediate, massive paddy and boot the fucker down the hall while screaming, which has made the whole scenario about 18 times worse.


#25 ONLINE   Twiggy

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Posted 12 March 2017 - 08:48 AM

Vantastic !



#26 OFFLINE   3VOM

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Posted 12 March 2017 - 08:54 AM

Imagine the horrors of complete engine failure because the windscreen wiper got jammed on a twig.

Yes but think positive - you could turn the engine over off the wiper arm.


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What's the retail on one of those plumbed in fire extinguisher systems?


#27 OFFLINE   cros

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Posted 16 March 2017 - 04:28 PM

You're never too old to learn, and only this afternoon I've come across a new method of fixing in a floor repair panel using a bent nail. If only all cars had a wooden 'b' post what a lot of trouble it would save.
IMG_20170316_160223399.jpg jpg]
Elsewhere there's a little light corrosion; the hammer wielding twat had pop rivetted on some galvanised sheet to cover it, but not before grinding 2 inches into the chassis rail. It wasn't done too long ago either as it's a thin disc. I suspect it then got an MOT. My advisory would have been castration.
IMG_20170316_160314548.jpg
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#28 OFFLINE   sierraman

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Posted 16 March 2017 - 07:41 PM

I wish cars were made out of wood. It'd have saved me a bomb on welding.
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#29 OFFLINE   cros

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Posted 17 March 2017 - 12:20 AM

The rear floor rests on thin but deep wooden crossmembers which at present are home to a hungry species of beetle larvae. I'm going to take off all the tin bits and mend them. The wooden bits can then go on the fire to fix the pesky woodworms. I'll make an inedible frame and glue it all back together.

Mechanically it's mostly bollocksed, especially the clutch mechanism. The cast iron operating fork has worn right through at its pivot and was long ago built up horribly with brazing. The ring gear teeth are worn to half their thickness, so I'd guess the van was doing door to door deliveries, perhaps fruit and veg or bread judging by the shelving in the back.
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#30 OFFLINE   cros

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Posted 17 March 2017 - 08:07 AM

I wish cars were made out of wood. It'd have saved me a bomb on welding.


Even better would be cars made out of stainless steel. Get the doors hinged correctly (from the rear) keep the boss away from the talc and it'd be a winner.




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