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Guest Message by DevFuse
 

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Genuine Granadaland Jaguar Reintroduced to Granadaland! Caution: New MoT content!


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276 replies to this topic

#31 OFFLINE   Breadvan72

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 10:31 PM

Seeing that the trip goes to Lincs and me rather not being inclined to be captured by the indigenous zombies there

spit roasting us in front of a beer tent during one of their local rituals, I say, I put my hayfork into the Peugeot.

I should have bought that M4 crossbow and silver ball bearing balls at the country market at Killeen when I had the chance.

 

And by spit roasting, you don't mean cookery.

 

[/I'm not a real welder]


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#32 OFFLINE   Junkman

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 10:40 PM

I actually do.

The least thing I can hope for is that they will suffocate on my toenails.

 

Have I ever told you how I got that possessed Rover?


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#33 ONLINE   FPB7

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 10:45 PM

 
[/I'm not a real welder]


Christ, I haven't heard that joke in yonks!
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#34 OFFLINE   Ghosty

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 10:58 PM

Junkman liked a post of mine 200 pages back down the eBay thread earlier. I was a little puzzled.

 

It's not, is it?


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#35 OFFLINE   Breadvan72

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 11:00 PM

Christ, I haven't heard that joke in yonks!

 

 

Number 8 on the United Nations World Heritage Joke list, IIRC.


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#36 OFFLINE   Breadvan72

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 11:00 PM

I actually do.

The least thing I can hope for is that they will suffocate on my toenails.

 

Have I ever told you how I got that possessed Rover?

 

1.  The locals will probably favour both kinds of spit roasting.

2.  No, please do.  


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#37 OFFLINE   Conrad D. Conelrad

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 11:08 PM

Junkman liked a post of mine 200 pages back down the eBay thread earlier. I was a little puzzled.

 

It's not, is it?

 

 

Sadly not. 



#38 OFFLINE   Junkman

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 11:11 PM

Junkman liked a post of mine 200 pages back down the eBay thread earlier. I was a little puzzled.

 

It's not, is it?

 

Errrr...what?


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1967 Renault 16 TL............................................now with floor and MoT

1971 Mercedes 280SE............................................................fucked

1979 Mobylette AV89............................................................running
1997 Peugeot 405 2.0 Executive Estate.................now with aircon and brakes


#39 OFFLINE   Ghosty

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 11:12 PM

It was a picture of a purple Wolseley Six with an 'HGF' plate. 


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#40 ONLINE   anonymous user

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 11:19 PM

Is this going to be like that game where you have to guess what is written on the post it note stuck to your forehead? If so, can you narrow it down a bit, was it bought off eBay so we can go through all the recently sold cars in that area?


I've never liked that game, every time I've played it I never have a name written on the post it, but, someone always draws a target; which wouldn't be quite so bad if I always played it with the same people.
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#41 OFFLINE   Breadvan72

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 11:28 PM

The game is called Blockheads.  You have to guess who you are using only yes or no questions.  I always end up with "Hitler's Mum", or some such.


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#42 ONLINE   Brodders

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 11:42 PM

I am going to hazard a guess that it is something Australian.

80s Holden Commodore or Ford Falcon?
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#43 OFFLINE   Junkman

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 11:44 PM

2.  No, please do.  

 

Since you asked for it...

 

 

The Junkwoman and the Junkdaughters were on hols in that Canada, I was home alone and predictably permanently pissed.

I had recently sold my first P6, GAA 12K, which was a good one and Mr Conelrad is still biting his arse because someone snatched it away from him years later when it was up for sale again. I was broke, because having paid for said holidays, I was depressed because no P6, which is an untenable condition, I was sad and lonely, so what does any normal bloke do in that situation?

 

Correct. Look for a car to buy. And there was an ad in one of those classic car rags I don't remember which, for a Mexico Brown P6 V8 in some godforsaken backwater in Lincs.

Mind you, this was not through the weird world web, P6 club, or such shenanigans. Classified ad in print media it was. So I called and a rondevoo for inspectage was made.

I saddled the back then on duty 405 Lincolnshirewards, completely unaware what to expect because bleedin forrinna. However, I should have heeded the advice given at the pub

the night before: "How often do we have to tell you this? You DON'T talk to people from Lincolnshire! Let alone going there!"

 

Anyway, me driving along just fine on HM's motorways, just to be spat into the botany like a damson stone when all civilisation ended just after Sutton in Ashfield.

So I drove along an A road, then a B road, then a C road, then a D road, then an E road, then ten odd miles along a single lane that made Khyber Pass look like a superhighway, to end up in a village that was stuck in the year 1347 or thereabouts. They still had a gallow at the village pond and there was no sign of life, despite it was early afternoon. There were no ducks on the pond, not a soul in the streets, no washing hanging out anywhere, no children playing, no cats, no dogs, not even birds.

It was eerily quiet, too. There was one almost mansion like house overlooking that village and it turned out this was the address. So I drove up there on unpaved coachpaths.

A considerable time after I knocked the hewn from railway sleepers door's cast iron door knock in form of a lion with a ring through its nose, a shrivelled doter answered and

it was that very moment when I realised, that he had eaten everything alive in that village over the past seven odd centuries.

 

A deal was agreed on just because I didn't have the guts to not buy the car.

He offered to have it delivered to my place by "a friend" of his for a very moderate sum, which I gladly accepted.

The first attempt failed, because said friend had a nasty accident. So different arrangments were made, which culminated in the recovery lorry breaking down near Leeds.

Only on the third attempt, the car actually reached me, but on the way back the recovery lorry had a puncture.

 

Can you now imagine what I expect tomorrow?


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1967 Renault 16 TL............................................now with floor and MoT

1971 Mercedes 280SE............................................................fucked

1979 Mobylette AV89............................................................running
1997 Peugeot 405 2.0 Executive Estate.................now with aircon and brakes


#44 OFFLINE   Junkman

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 11:45 PM

I am going to hazard a guess that it is something Australian.

80s Holden Commodore or Ford Falcon?

 

We all can dream, can't we?


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1967 Renault 16 TL............................................now with floor and MoT

1971 Mercedes 280SE............................................................fucked

1979 Mobylette AV89............................................................running
1997 Peugeot 405 2.0 Executive Estate.................now with aircon and brakes


#45 OFFLINE   Breadvan72

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Posted 21 February 2017 - 11:57 PM

JM, I am amazed that the locals did not lynch you, mistaking you for a French monkey from Hartlepool, or similar.

 

Lincolnshire I avoid.  It is bad enough that sometimes I have to go to Wisbech.


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#46 OFFLINE   Junkman

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Posted 22 February 2017 - 12:40 AM

You know, there is a distinct ritual here oop narf that never ceases to make me feel at home.

 

I say something.

 

Someone says "Yar nut frum here, so yar eether a Scouse, or a Djordee".

 

I say no, I'm from Aus...

 

And I'm interrupted by: "Naw, yar nut frum here, so yar eether a Scouse, or a Djordee".

 

It's really heart warming.


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1967 Renault 16 TL............................................now with floor and MoT

1971 Mercedes 280SE............................................................fucked

1979 Mobylette AV89............................................................running
1997 Peugeot 405 2.0 Executive Estate.................now with aircon and brakes


#47 OFFLINE   Junkman

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Posted 22 February 2017 - 09:57 AM

Conelrad arrived.

 

The Thunderbirds are go!


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1967 Renault 16 TL............................................now with floor and MoT

1971 Mercedes 280SE............................................................fucked

1979 Mobylette AV89............................................................running
1997 Peugeot 405 2.0 Executive Estate.................now with aircon and brakes


#48 OFFLINE   Skizzer

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Posted 22 February 2017 - 10:25 AM

Good luck.  Been a pleasure knowing you.

 

Lincolnshire is full of Renault 16s, apparently, because of a bloke called Mike and another one whose name I've forgotten but runs a Renault 4 sanctuary.  Is it at last the longed-for Renault 16?


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#49 OFFLINE   Conrad D. Conelrad

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Posted 22 February 2017 - 11:25 AM

Collection under way. We are behind an MG6.

2f85bf0f42f1252ac074ca6c20a88e21.jpg
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#50 OFFLINE   320touring

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Posted 22 February 2017 - 11:29 AM

*is excites* :)
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#51 OFFLINE   Breadvan72

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Posted 22 February 2017 - 11:46 AM

Collection under way. We are behind an MG6.

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/2017022...

 

 

This cannot be a good omen.


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#52 OFFLINE   Conrad D. Conelrad

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Posted 22 February 2017 - 12:21 PM

Location clue: a castle.

c0ef5e649b9d59ddabe8c87ba5f8f254.jpg

Location problem: we have lost the bit of paper with the seller's address and phone number.
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#53 OFFLINE   pshome

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Posted 22 February 2017 - 12:26 PM

What is the outside temperature? If above 0,trust me, collection will FAIL!


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#54 OFFLINE   Conrad D. Conelrad

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Posted 22 February 2017 - 12:41 PM

Uh oh

459646221426bd90f82215545034e38e.jpg
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#55 OFFLINE   Felly Magic

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Posted 22 February 2017 - 12:47 PM

Careful lads, you might end up in a dungeon in that there castle


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#56 OFFLINE   pshome

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Posted 22 February 2017 - 12:54 PM

Just hit that A/C button and you will be fine.


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1981 Talbot Tagora Dinin replica
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1977 504 V6 Convertible

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#57 OFFLINE   pshome

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Posted 22 February 2017 - 01:16 PM

While in the process of getting lost in Lincolnshire, would you mind explaining to the general public what "GGG" stands for?

 

The interweb has several suggestions:

 

- The Greek God of Gayness

- German Goo Girls

- Great Grandfather Gus

- Greensboro Go Gettas

- Good, Giving, and Game


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1981 Talbot Tagora Dinin replica
1983 Talbot Tagora SX
1978 504 GL
1977 504 V6 Convertible

1986 505 Turbo Injection
1981 Talbot Tagora GLS

1984 505 Turbo Injection
1989 505 SX
1982 Talbot Tagora SX
http://www.altefranzosen.de
http://www.504cc.de
http://www.talbot-tagora.com
http://www.504forum.de
http://www.talbot-tagora.de


#58 OFFLINE   Skizzer

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Posted 22 February 2017 - 01:28 PM

Granadaland Greenhouse Gassers.

For the benefit of those who didn't grow up in the UK in or before the 1980s, Granadaland is the region of north west England (where Conrad and Junkman live) that was formerly served by the legendary Granada Television franchise, in the days before television became uniformly mindless crap.

Or possibly because Junkman used to have a Ford Granada (fucked, of course).
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#59 OFFLINE   Captain Furious

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Posted 22 February 2017 - 01:32 PM

Is anyone else about to google the German Goo Girls though?

 

Just me?  Ok..


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#60 OFFLINE   Conrad D. Conelrad

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Posted 22 February 2017 - 01:34 PM

We stopped off for a bite to eat before crossing the border into Lincolnshire.

Here we met another Peugeot enthusiast. We told him about the forum.

d741f23c8039ca4b9710be879bd64585.jpg
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