alcyonecorporation Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 HERE IS A THREAD ABOUT A CAR I OWN PLEASE ENJOY MY CONTRIBUTION TO THE FORUM I still have the nob_van. It managed to feature in Retro Cars and Practical Classics in the same year, because the pool of classic car journalism talent* really is that small. I'm sorry if you ended up reading about it, nothing I write is worth a wet fart. It is very, very rusty. Despite a ruthless fleet cull, I can't bring myself to sell it. Several brilliant* schemes to buy a cheap estate hack for work/jumble sales/tip runs/yard hackery came to nowt, for various reasons. I need to slowly empty my guff out of a friend's garage; between here and the North West, several runs in a cheap estate would work out more cost effective than renting a van seven or eight times. Attempt #1: Peugeot 306 TD estate. Lucas pump, exceptionally rotten, rear axle barely attached. Scrapped. Attempt #2: Renault Laguna DTi estate. Underrated car, decent runner, insurer refused to cover it on a classic policy despite initially agreeing to it. Mechanically sound. Will soon be for sale. Bought soon after the V6 Laguna debacle; I don't learn. A good car for someone. Attempt #3: Volvo 960 24v estate. Very cheap, head gasket blew on fourth day of ownership. PO fooled me into thinking everything was fine by changing the oil and filter, thus obviating the mayo hunt. Probably off to a new home. Very nearly scrapped out of spite because Volvo enthusiasts lack basic comprehension skills. Attempt #4. About up to what the refundable deposit would be on a Transit Connect now in terms of spend. 1986 Peugeot 305 Estate Automatic. I like the dents. I like the beige paint and the low overall mileage of 84,000 clicks (which has risen since I bought it). Unlike the nob_van, the gear lever is still plastic and most of the underside bar the NSR rear sill corner is still metal. Cracked indicator cluster will be replaced with one in my stash. Front shocks appear to be leaking: they go "IH" sometimes. The rear three quarter dent will pop out, but the NSR door will need replacement, despite not breaking the paint. I think the P/O gently giffered it along a bollard. He also managed to knacker that side's door mirror and a good s/h one will no doubt get chucked over my fence by the post man or something. I think the MoT was a tad lenient looking at some of the other 'fixes' applied by the seller (who bought it to plate rape). Supplied by a dealer in Triggerland, it was originally registered C200 ANG. Bloke wanted it for his wife 'Ange' to put on her 'dream car', a Mercedes 200. At least he kept it on the road. If I took the seat cover off the foam explosion would make AROnline blush. There was a treasure chest of stuff left by the previous owner. Every tax disc it's had since new (kept), Kent frequencies for Classic FM and Radio 4 on LW (kept), an old 80's ice scraper - stuff like that. Automatic was roughly SR specification; you got the GT XU5 engine (94 ber herps), a four speed ZF 4HP14 slusher and a Philips head unit with a cassette deck but no FM option. Lord gears are a departure for me but they suit the laid back nature of the car, its freeze/melt ventilation and compliant ride. I have some thick band GTX alloys I'll throw on at some point. It's doing 30 mpg, by the way. I would say it's great to be be back, but ambivalence is a bitch these days. Skizzer, MarinaJosh, Conrad D. Conelrad and 38 others 41 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supernaut Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 HERE IS A THREAD ABOUT A CAR I OWN PLEASE ENJOY MY CONTRIBUTION TO THE FORUM Ugh, if you insist. Genuinely good chod content happening here though. alcyonecorporation 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lacquer Peel Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 Did you brave the Volvo Owners Club forum re the 960? I don't know why people go on about the mk1 Laguna estate being uggers, I think they look very handsome indeed. The 305s are ace. Did the 305 plate raper buy his wife a Mercedes just to suit the plate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forddeliveryboy Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 305 is an all-time great car. Nothing's come close since. alcyonecorporation, ShiteRider and Richard 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alcyonecorporation Posted January 14, 2017 Author Share Posted January 14, 2017 Ugh, if you insist. Genuinely good chod content happening here though. Appreciated. I'll try and keep the whinging to a minimum. 305 is an all-time great car. Nothing's come close since. Yeah, it's terrifyingly good at being 'an car'. The Americans have a word for it: copasetic. Did you brave the Volvo Owners Club forum re the 960? I don't know why people go on about the mk1 Laguna estate being uggers, I think they look very handsome indeed. The 305s are ace. Did the 305 plate raper buy his wife a Mercedes just to suit the plate? I tried some 'friendly' Facebook groups and will try the VOC if the bloke who wants it can't fit it in. He bought my 605 V6 and Xedos off me in the same day. I listed the 960 on said groups last night and ended up in a bizarre flame war with a bloke who gave me a torrent of abuse because, according to him, I hadn't listed where the car was located. I had - on the listing. He was replying to comments on one of the pictures from said listing which got hived off above the listing and turned into its own thread. When I pointed out to him that he needed to, er....read the listing and not gob off, he had a bit of a meltdown. Then another bloke expected a fully serviced, MoT'd and running 960 estate to cost £200 when they all hover around £750-1000. Advised him that it was a project and no, knackered 246k 960 PROJECTS haven't generally had a grand's worth of belt servicing lavished on them and/or Astrid Lindgren read to them in hushed tones at nightfall. He didn't like my response, either. On the subject of the 305 plate, I believe the seller (who bought it off the pinball bollard specialist original owner, with me it's on its third custodian) already had the car his wife was running and clearly didn't chuck him much for the plate, which was all he wanted it for. He was a bit gutted the car didn't sell for more but I think the autobox and body panel situation put a lot of people off. nacho man, Lacquer Peel, Cavcraft and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Rustbucket Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 I like the 305 estate - the idea of an automatic one is appealing too. Strangely, I didn't particularly like the 305 when it was new. I'm not sure why, since I was a big fan of that era of Peugeots. These days I can see that I was wrong. They're handsome things - I can see 504 and 505 styling elements in them and they have a great many other virtues to boot. Peugeot's beige was a fine one - full of interest, unlike some beiges. I like the ivory colour they sold in the early 1980s too - the 604 looks superb in it. alcyonecorporation 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alcyonecorporation Posted January 14, 2017 Author Share Posted January 14, 2017 Beige is all the rage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr_Bo11ox Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 Finally, I get it. alcyonecorporation, scruff and Junkman 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alcyonecorporation Posted January 14, 2017 Author Share Posted January 14, 2017 Finally, I get it. GREETZ I'm surprised any of it makes sense, I wrote it on about 0.45 hours sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lacquer Peel Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 Copasetic is a great word, I'm appropriating it. loserone and alcyonecorporation 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alcyonecorporation Posted January 14, 2017 Author Share Posted January 14, 2017 Copasetic is a great word, I'm appropriating it. How cromulent. Twiggy and Eddie Honda 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alcyonecorporation Posted January 14, 2017 Author Share Posted January 14, 2017 1985/6 brochure guff. I really want some acrylic lettered number plates like that - although getting one to fit a a 305 S2 bumper will be hilarious fun*. Delving into the massive lit glovebox, I found: Original supplying dealer. Tailgate is moderately ricked. OE tax disc holder. Original tax disc - there was a stack of them right up to 2014 - this shows the original registration mark. Radio 4 test passed with flying colours (and occasional alternator suppression issues). Free tape. Ice scraper (useful at the moment). Screw in OSF tyre included in price. Spare wheel carrier was rusted to fuck but I got it out in the end. Battery location is novel. Instrument pack reminds me of depressing nights out trying to cop off waiting for the bus. Jim Bergerac, Brodders, michael t and 9 others 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junkman Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 How much would the screw with the car around it cost? alcyonecorporation, Lacquer Peel and pshome 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alcyonecorporation Posted January 14, 2017 Author Share Posted January 14, 2017 Given that I need said car (with screw removed), it's not for sale at the moment, soz. You said it was too battered for your requirements, anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junkman Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 I don't currently have any requirements whatsoever, so batteredness would hardly matter.Nob van being the exception.The thought alone it could end up a mere 40 miles from me already puts me at considerable unease. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alcyonecorporation Posted January 14, 2017 Author Share Posted January 14, 2017 Sorry once again about nob_van. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lacquer Peel Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 Pressed metal pre-2001 font plates might suit the 305 Break. http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/UK-OLD-FONT-Pressed-Pre-2001-Metal-Vintage-Car-Registration-Number-Plates-34A-/161611123395 Is it just me or do these look a bit 'wrong'? Maybe it's because they're not weathered and battered like the pressed metal plates I remember. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alcyonecorporation Posted January 14, 2017 Author Share Posted January 14, 2017 I was looking at a pair of framptons plates like the ones on Trig's P6. Lacquer Peel and trigger 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vulgalour Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 Hello again. Glazed knob van a pleasingly beige diversion. alcyonecorporation 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hooli Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 That screw must double* the value of such a wondrous conveyance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DodgyBastard Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 I fucking knew it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alcyonecorporation Posted January 14, 2017 Author Share Posted January 14, 2017 I fucking knew it.I didn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mercrocker Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 Any non-metallic car with a three figure telephone number on its tax disc holder is likely to be full of Win. DDM (Dents Don't Matter) holbeck, Asimo and Lacquer Peel 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coprolalia Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 Good to have you back chap, whatever the reason or porpoise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r.welfare Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 Nothing I write is worth a wet fart. Absolute rubbish based upon the quality of this post. What a true survivor this car is. I too have a rear door probably dented beyond redemption, but as the first stage of removal in the workshop manual states 'use diagnostic computer to disable all airbags', I'll not bother. Cavcraft and Lacquer Peel 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cavcraft Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 Welcome back. That 305 is class in a teriffic glass. What's the script with the Lag estate, is it 2.2 or 1.9 FLAVA and has it got a tow bar? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alcyonecorporation Posted January 14, 2017 Author Share Posted January 14, 2017 Lag is a 1.9 DTI sans tow bar, m9 Cavcraft 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
holbeck Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 The 305, top motor. alcyonecorporation 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lacquer Peel Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 Welcome back. That 305 is class in a teriffic glass. What's the script with the Lag estate, is it 2.2 or 1.9 FLAVA and has it got a tow bar?The DTI is veg friendly BTW. Cavcraft 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wuvvum Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 I really like the way 305s drive - only thing that puts me off trying to track one down as a daily is that the seats and my back don't get on. That Gooner One looks like a useful bit of kit. alcyonecorporation 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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