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Grumpy old man/pedant thread.Please feel free to add.


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#64621 OFFLINE   anonymous user

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 01:06 PM

Remind me again why I'm here?


To quote Spike Milligan, "everybody has to be somewhere"
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#64622 OFFLINE   andy18s

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 01:35 PM

I have a deadline of close of play tomorrow to write 3000 words. Remind me again why I'm here?


Moist,that's a good word to use as frequently as possible
Seems to really rile some people though
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2x Vivaro vans.....for now amyway

#64623 ONLINE   Richard

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 01:57 PM

Pendulous.
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#64624 ONLINE   Richard

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 02:01 PM

Taghairm
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#64625 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 02:06 PM

Flange


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#64626 OFFLINE   chaseracer

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 02:16 PM

Excellent suggestions all.  I shall do my best to include them!


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2009 Cannondale Quick CX - pushy
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#64627 OFFLINE   hairnet

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 03:00 PM

I have a deadline of close of play tomorrow to write 3000 words.  Remind me again why I'm here?

bored?

 

brummie?

 

fruit of loins not in scotland or manc with instrument?

 

shopping for car?


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#64628 ONLINE   Rod/b

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 03:01 PM

The man at the salad bar today misheard my garnish request (sesame seeds) and instead put a scoop of something else in the mix instead (chilli flakes)

Its now 6 hours later and the world has just fallen out of my end.
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#64629 OFFLINE   Brodders

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 03:34 PM

The man at the salad bar today misheard my garnish request (sesame seeds) and instead put a scoop of something else in the mix instead (chilli flakes)

Its now 6 hours later and the world has just fallen out of my end.

 

I was enjoying a very nice tub of Haagen-Dazs before I read that. Thanks.


2001 Rover 75 1.8 Connoisseur SE


#64630 ONLINE   Richard

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 03:56 PM

20727958_10154746410136053_2780324090787

 

Fucksticks. Front wheel too, so I had to change two wheels. The tyre was about done anyway but I'd have liked it to last another three hours, which is when I was due to pick up a new set.



#64631 ONLINE   taxi paul

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 05:21 PM

When writing your 3000 word essay try to get the first word on every line to start with a letter that when read down spells knobhead or similar.
Kicking a ball one day.
Now that's a pleasure.
Only a few people can do.
But I do try.
How I get the time I never understand.
Even when it's raining.
Actually I have tried in the snow.
Didn't work out.


Other a swear words ,messages to the boss can be inadvertently typed out. Makes it more fun.
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#64632 OFFLINE   chaseracer

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 05:25 PM

"A cross tick"?  Don't tempt me...  :D


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2009 Cannondale Quick CX - pushy
2003 Citroen Berlingo 2.0HDi - daily
1995 Peugeot 205 Inca 1.7D - funky (and staying......)
1982 Citroen Dyane 6 - it's back!

AS Midland Massiv - in chod we rust...


#64633 ONLINE   Doctormop

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 06:11 PM

Blunderbus, that's another good word.

 

Is that a coach going to a home for unmarried Mothers?

 

(other 1930's type stereotypical humour may be available)


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We live; but we never bloody learn!

#64634 OFFLINE   Bren

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 06:16 PM

Moist,that's a good word to use as frequently as possible
Seems to really rile some people though

a15394db9663beaea4e7a01539bc87ff5fbf44b442f3b8abfff7c0abaccb390c.jpg
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#64635 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 08:01 PM

When writing your 3000 word essay try to get the first word on every line to start with a letter that when read down spells knobhead or similar.
Kicking a ball one day.
Now that's a pleasure.
Only a few people can do.
But I do try.
How I get the time I never understand.
Even when it's raining.
Actually I have tried in the snow.
Didn't work out.


Other a swear words ,messages to the boss can be inadvertently typed out. Makes it more fun.

 

Didn't James May famously do one of them with TG magazine? or did I imagine that.



#64636 OFFLINE   Tamworthbay

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 08:04 PM

Didn't James May famously do one of them with TG magazine? or did I imagine that.


I recall that as well, I think he got sacked for it. I think it was pre TG days when he was writing for one of the monthlys.
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#64637 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 08:05 PM

 

Is she from the online dating thread?



#64638 OFFLINE   hairnet

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 08:08 PM

sacked from autocar

 

http://www.thepoke.c...car-need-spell/


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#64639 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 08:10 PM

 

Thanks, it still makes me laugh.



#64640 OFFLINE   AngusToledo

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 08:15 PM

Bastard greyhounds.
1. She shit on the kitchen floor overnight.
2. When we went out this afternoon, she chewed the control knob on our new washing machine, and...
3. Chewed the corner of the longcase clock (only 42 years old, and not worth much, but immaculate and sentimental value).
4. Chewed the corner of the kitchen table.

We've owned her for 9 months and she's been bloody hard work from the outset. Frustratingly, she's a gorgeous dog, with a lovely temperament. We don't like cleaning up shit regularly though, and her previous owner gave her up as she apparently suffered with separation anxiety, and started to chew things. This is the first we've seen of it - she seems to be regressing.

NOT happy.

Them yellow cubes from out of a proper old-school urinal are easy to sneak in and a better buzz than any modern chemical shit. Never done me any harm.


#64641 OFFLINE   andy18s

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 08:17 PM

needs a playmate.......
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2x Vivaro vans.....for now amyway

#64642 OFFLINE   AngusToledo

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 08:30 PM

Yeah, she lived with a JRT in her last home. We're really annoyed that the rescue didn't specify that her future home needed another dog as a companion - we wouldn't have taken her on if that were the case. Another dog isn't an option for us though. Thing is, even with the JRT pal at her last home, she still chewed. It's just strange how it's only now that her true colours with chewing are starting to come out. It would be easier to deal with if she were a pup and trainable. This behaviour isn't going to go away though, I fear...

Them yellow cubes from out of a proper old-school urinal are easy to sneak in and a better buzz than any modern chemical shit. Never done me any harm.


#64643 OFFLINE   Heidel_Kakao

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 08:41 PM

Where is she left when you go out? I had issues with my Greyhound when I used to leave her cooped up just in the kitchen and used to come home to shit on the floor. As soon as I left her with the run of the house and she could just go upstairs and sleep on my bed the problems went away.
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#64644 OFFLINE   strangeangel

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 09:09 PM

I recall that as well, I think he got sacked for it. I think it was pre TG days when he was writing for one of the monthlys.


iirc The Shamen did that with the titles on their last album so that it said FUCK BIRKETT, a reference to the bloke who owned their label.
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#64645 OFFLINE   AngusToledo

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 09:33 PM

Where is she left when you go out? I had issues with my Greyhound when I used to leave her cooped up just in the kitchen and used to come home to shit on the floor. As soon as I left her with the run of the house and she could just go upstairs and sleep on my bed the problems went away.

She's shut in the kitchen/diner. Not a tiny space though. No chance of her sleeping on the bed as she won't walk on the laminate in the hall ;).
She's grumpy at the moment as she knows she's been a naughty girl.

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Them yellow cubes from out of a proper old-school urinal are easy to sneak in and a better buzz than any modern chemical shit. Never done me any harm.


#64646 OFFLINE   DeeJay

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 09:40 PM

Could've been worse.

I didn't know my dog had the runs the other day until I trod in a puddle of poo on the kitchen floor, in my bare feet.

Nice start to the day.


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#64647 OFFLINE   chodweaver

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 09:59 PM

One of my collie crosses has a bit of separation anxiety and massive fear of thunder, fireworks, gunshots etc. Drugs don't work on him (Serenum). Giving him something to chew on does however - suitably slathered in peanut butter to get him interested, a rubber 'kong' works every time now. Before we cottoned on to this he'd destroyed a 5l can of antifreeze (and did not die); a 5l tin of emulsion (and did not die); a live four way (yup, ditto); and a live lead for a lampstand (same again).

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#64648 OFFLINE   chodweaver

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 10:00 PM

PS it's the action of chewing that is the most effective de-stresser for a dog. No idea why.

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#64649 OFFLINE   somewhatfoolish

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 10:21 PM

Could've been worse.

I didn't know my dog had the runs the other day until I trod in a puddle of poo on the kitchen floor, in my bare feet.

Nice start to the day.

Nothing like warm, fresh turd squishing up between your toes to tell you your day's taken a turn for the worse.


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#64650 OFFLINE   Heidel_Kakao

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 10:31 PM

She's shut in the kitchen/diner. Not a tiny space though. No chance of her sleeping on the bed as she won't walk on the laminate in the hall ;).
She's grumpy at the moment as she knows she's been a naughty girl.

Mine also have an issue with laminate flooring, whenever I go round to my mothers house she has to put some old carpet down for them to walk on. It might be worth trying a DAP diffuser to see if that helps with the separation anxiety.
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