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Grumpy old man/pedant thread.Please feel free to add.


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64923 replies to this topic

#64591 OFFLINE   twosmoke300

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Posted 12 August 2017 - 10:32 AM

Leave the fucking things standard !


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Skoda Octavia 1.9tdi - the boring modern 

Fiat Ducato 2009 l3h2

Honda Crf250X

Suzuki TS50x

Kawasaki Ke175d

Prilla Pigsasshole 650

Saxo 1.5D

Land Rover 90 2.5 petrol

Honda CB250N super wet dream

 

 

 


#64592 OFFLINE   Pillock

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Posted 12 August 2017 - 11:03 AM

I dunno, have you put a mad Audi engine in yours that generates a load of heat? If not you might be OK

#64593 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted 12 August 2017 - 02:03 PM

I better not show the Boxster pics to my other half as we are taking mine on a tour round France tomorrow. Fingers crossed it doesn't shit itself.

 

A lap of frogshire in one day? you'll have to get a shift on!


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#64594 OFFLINE   Rusty Sills

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Posted 12 August 2017 - 04:31 PM

Went to Tesco this evening and as I came back to da mota the woman (other sexes available) in a cashcow, puke or summat parked next to me opens her passenger door and bangs my "classic" van with it. WTF!!!

Oy, says I, do you mind not banging my wagon. 

At that she looked disdainfully at my, erm, a bit rusty van, (Being sorted soon) and says unconvincingly "oh SORRY!".

AArgh! So I get a bit on one and says to fake blonde bint, " Hey, Your 14 plate, whatever it is, in ten years is going to be worth half what mine will be. Yours is losing money as it sits here. mine on the other hand is actually appreciating in value every year". 

Ok. by about £20. Per annuuuuuum. Not much I know, but hey, Its the bloody principle innit.

So. Drove off.  Leaving some blonde bint not knowing wtf I was on about. Does not compute, I suppose.

I had a look later and, I'll be honest, amongst all the other dings, I couldn't see a new one.

 

BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT. IS IT ?

 

 

Should have demanded her insurance details just to put the wind-up, so to speak.


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#64595 OFFLINE   greengartside

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Posted 12 August 2017 - 08:06 PM

Felt really sad seeing this in my local scrappers today. 2.0 V6 Connie with beige leather and the Rover sat-nav. Ex-press or management vehicle for Rover going on the number plate. Should have been saved IMHO!! Plenty of parts for the 75 guys on here though.

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2006 Vauxhall Astra 1.9 CDTi SRi XP - Rocket Machine.

 

'George Michael looking lovingly at a giant glass arse plug'  

 


#64596 OFFLINE   fraser.innes.3

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Posted 12 August 2017 - 09:22 PM

I know this isn't the place and all that, but it's just been confirmed my wife's sister has incurable cancer. Keeping it off social media for now until we've reached all the family.

Just found out my dads pancreatic cancer has spread to his liver. 3 to 6 months at best.


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#64597 OFFLINE   eddyramrod

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Posted 12 August 2017 - 10:02 PM

So much cancer about!  Now there is a good reason to be grumpy!


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The Blob: 2007 Chevrolet Tacuma (wheelchair bus)

Giffer: 1995 Rover 820Si

Huggy Bear: 1973 Cadillac Coupe de Ville

 

 

 

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#64598 ONLINE   Cavcraft

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Posted 12 August 2017 - 10:03 PM

Sorry to hear that chief. 


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"As for actually admitting to liking Corsas on a public forum: you're a bollock-brained, biscuit-eating, faux-northern, bastardy, bollocky, wank-brain"

#64599 OFFLINE   taxi paul

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Posted 12 August 2017 - 10:20 PM

On my way back from my cornwall holiday today. Took me six hours to get from St ives to Bristol. Bloody awful traffic. I don't do much distance driving these days and I don't know how the lorryists and others do it. The amount of drivers that can't use the first Lane on a motorway is bad enough but when it's a smart section and they still sit in Lane three of four doing 58 mph is annoying. I may have just zipped along in the empty first Lane and sort of undertook them. Also my biggest rant is if you are a hipster and trendy vw pineapple lover. Please make sure your ancient vw pile of crap can actually make it up a hill. That will save a four miles tailback trying to get past you on the A30 out of Cornwall.sorry to hear about the cancer posts. Having lost my missus to it last year you have my regards.

#64600 OFFLINE   fraser.innes.3

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Posted 12 August 2017 - 11:49 PM

So much cancer about! Now there is a good reason to be grumpy!

I didn't mention my sister's breast cancer either. She's halfway through chemo for that after an op. And also my best mate has just been diagnosed with leukaemia!!!

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#64601 ONLINE   Cavcraft

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 06:17 AM

It's a shit time all round, my wife's grand mother died Friday night. We're not telling her sister for obvious reasons, but it's putting another strain om my missus and her dad.


"As for actually admitting to liking Corsas on a public forum: you're a bollock-brained, biscuit-eating, faux-northern, bastardy, bollocky, wank-brain"

#64602 OFFLINE   somewhatfoolish

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 07:24 AM

Felt really sad seeing this in my local scrappers today. 2.0 V6 Connie with beige leather and the Rover sat-nav. Ex-press or management vehicle for Rover going on the number plate. Should have been saved IMHO!! Plenty of parts for the 75 guys on here though.

Has it been declared scrap? If not then wave some pictures of the queen at the scrapman and give it a new lease of life.


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#64603 OFFLINE   gordonbennet

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 07:25 AM

^^ Bloody hell Cavcraft, it aint raining in your parish its pouring.

Condolences.


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#64604 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 08:41 AM

So much cancer about!  Now there is a good reason to be grumpy!

 

On the other hand, I don't think more people get cancer these days. It's just they haven't died of something else before the cancer was 'due'.


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#64605 OFFLINE   Timewaster

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 08:49 AM

On the other hand, I don't think more people get cancer these days. It's just they haven't died of something else before the cancer was 'due'.


That's probably true in a lot of cases.
Also I think people are more willing to talk about it now.
I know of half a dozen people who have had cancer and are still around with varying levels of after effects.
Sadly we all know that it can still mean curtains for the unfortunate few.
Pete M wrote:
Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ, I can't believe I'm sad enough as to post on the interweb

Des wrote:
the fine art that is welding, like trying to shovel butter into a badgers arse with a soldering iron.

#64606 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 08:51 AM

True, it doesn't make it any nicer to get just because you didn't die of TB 40 years earlier.



#64607 OFFLINE   MarvinsMom

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 10:09 AM

compared to many here, my grumps are of a trivial nature, 

 

but, as it is good to share with the group, 

 

1, last day of the holidays and work tomorrow.

 

2. supposed to be over at Grange over Sands for their wee car show, but, both myself and kerry have hardly slept over the last couple of nights, and hence feel as rough as badgers arses (not that we make a habit of molesting small animals....)

 

3. why aren't we sleeping? well we are both fretting about spending all that money on "Godzilla" (ok - i know the name needs some work, but the lexus is enormous, green and japanese) and whether we have done the right thing....

 

when we get it we should just enjoy it until it break (kerry says it won't do that, cos Lexus) i however remain to be convinced. at the end of the day, its only a car, if it really breaks, then scrap it, otherwise we should enjoy it, and it is only money what we've spent. :-)

 

doesn't stop me fretting though.


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Current Fleet-
2001 Rover 75 CDT Tourer
1997 Rover Mini Cooper Sport
1995 Jaguar XJR-6 SOLD
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#64608 OFFLINE   Eddie Honda

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 10:28 AM

I found the ammeter had got so hot it has melted and the glass has cracked. It had never worked since I converted it to alternator

Ammeter measures current and you measure current passing through something.

Voltmeter measures voltage and you measure voltage across something. (potential difference between two points)

Given what an alternator chucks out in terms of current, it's no surprise that it stopped working at the same time as the alternator was fitted. Those old ammeters are usually scaled +30 to -30 amps, which is fine for an old Lucas C41 22 amp dynamo, but not for even the weediest of alternators.

#64609 OFFLINE   DodgeRover

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 10:30 AM

MarvinsMom was exactly the same when I bought my first house my now wife quite rightly pointed out that people spend more than that on a new new car and we could always bung it through the auctions just the same to get rid if it all went wrong.

Have you tried sleeping in the Lexus ;)

#64610 OFFLINE   Angrydicky

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 10:41 AM

Yeah it was my fault, ammeter now bypassed and it's back up and running with no other damage, thankfully.
The ammeter might have stopped working, but I installed the alternator three years ago and it's taken until now to burn its coil out and cause a load of issues.
Just need to get another ammeter to replace the melted one now for 'appearances sake' as it's not going to work any more.
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Current fleet:
1953 Austin A40 Somerset 
1958 Austin A55 Cambridge

1959 Austin A35 

1980 Vauxhall Royale 2.8 auto

1983 Ford Sierra 1.6 Base (1/5) 
1985 Austin Maestro 1.3 Base 

 

 


#64611 OFFLINE   DodgeRover

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 10:47 AM

Fit a volt meter of the same style in it's place?

#64612 OFFLINE   Eddie Honda

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 10:50 AM

Or go back to dynamo given how cheap/small jump packs are.

#64613 ONLINE   myglaren

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 11:19 AM

As he was leaving for a trip to Alston my son says "Oh! my laptop isn't working"

Just picked it up and it is full of water :(


Sent from beyond the grave using the Force.


#64614 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 11:23 AM

I'm told this works....

 

 

Rice Asians.jpg


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#64615 OFFLINE   chaseracer

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 12:52 PM

I have a deadline of close of play tomorrow to write 3000 words.  Remind me again why I'm here?


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2009 Cannondale Quick CX - pushy
2003 Citroen Berlingo 2.0HDi - daily
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1982 Citroen Dyane 6 - it's back!

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#64616 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 12:54 PM

Looking for inspiration?



#64617 OFFLINE   Pillock

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 01:01 PM

I have a deadline of close of play tomorrow to write 3000 words.  Remind me again why I'm here?

 

I've got 3000 words you can have.

 

Over 2000 are rude, 500 of them aren't allowed on Channel 4 even after 11pm, and six of them will get you arrested.

 

You can have "gusset" for free though.


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#64618 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 01:04 PM

Blunderbus, that's another good word.


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#64619 ONLINE   Richard

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 01:04 PM

Remind me again why I'm here?


Probably leave the existential questions until you're not so busy.
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#64620 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted 13 August 2017 - 01:05 PM

Which makes me think the title of the piece should be 'The unexpected consequences of owning a gusset stretching blunderbus'.


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