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Grumpy old man/pedant thread.Please feel free to add.


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64152 replies to this topic

#62311 OFFLINE   Louise2cv

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Posted 20 April 2017 - 09:37 PM

Well I have to get from Heathrow to ExCel.

My OH says we just use contactless cards but I am programmed not to believe him. Is it true?

Also I have since discovered Heathrow isn't just a little airport, it should be easy enough to navigate my way out of there right?

We have been told to stop planning journeys with Google maps and CityMapper App has been recommended.

Thanks for offering to help!

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#62312 OFFLINE   meshking

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Posted 20 April 2017 - 09:39 PM

It is true. Your contactless card will top out the days travelcard. I've not used my oyster for sometime.

Heathrow is a big place. You will need to get to the jubilee line, should be doable with a single change from Heathrow tube.

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#62313 OFFLINE   BenHar

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Posted 20 April 2017 - 09:40 PM

Say what? He did exactly the right thing.

 

I don't understand. What was wrong with what the passer by was doing?

 

Ben


CHRIS1980, on 08 Jan 2016 - 8:37 PM, said:snapback.png

Your clearly thick....end of.


#62314 OFFLINE   Louise2cv

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Posted 20 April 2017 - 09:45 PM

It is true. Your contactless card will top out the days travelcard. I've not used my oyster for sometime.

Heathrow is a big place. You will need to get to the jubilee line, should be doable with a single change from Heathrow tube.

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Thanks :)

So do we just wave the card at ticket barriers or do we need something else?

Raising money for Dogs for Good: http://uk.virginmone...m/louisebastock


#62315 OFFLINE   Louise2cv

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Posted 20 April 2017 - 09:50 PM

I'm sorry about being so dense about it but it does baffle me.

Wasn't there a story about someone on here's dad forcing a London Bus driver to take a pound coin? That'll be me!

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#62316 OFFLINE   Louise2cv

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Posted 20 April 2017 - 09:55 PM

Ok! I watched a TfL YouTube video guide for simpletons like me. I am almost not confused anymore.

Thank you for your patience.
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#62317 OFFLINE   Lankytim

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Posted 20 April 2017 - 09:56 PM

I don't understand. What was wrong with what the passer by was doing?

Ben


Filming children and attempting to conceal it maybe?

If you can't see the issue with this then you've either arrived yesterday from another planet or you're woefully naive.
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#62318 OFFLINE   Pillock

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Posted 20 April 2017 - 10:05 PM

Yes, use a contactless card on tube barriers and buses and at 2am the next day it works out the cheapest fare you can get away with for the journey made (i.e. a maximum of a travelcard worth) and charges your card.

On buses, touch in ONLY and don't try to touch out.

You can also use Android/Apple Pay on your phone, but the 0.2second delay will lead to you being trampled to a pulp and then beaten further to death by irate commuters.

Stand on the right on escalators. Do not make eye contact with anyone.
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#62319 OFFLINE   Louise2cv

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Posted 20 April 2017 - 10:15 PM

You guys are brilliant!

​A really big chunk of my fundraising came from people from here too, really grateful for the support, thanks to all.

 

I'm at about £800 which is knocking on a grand with gift aid. Been injured and ill but determined to complete. And now there's a much stronger chance of me registering and finding the start too!


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#62320 OFFLINE   sporty-shite

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Posted 20 April 2017 - 10:22 PM

I've just sent this by email to Chris Evans at the BBC...  In the subject line I called it "Listener Retention"

 

Mr Evans:

You failed.

I used to enjoy you on the Drivetime programme.  ...I thought your puppyish enthusiasm was a good thing in the mornings.  

 

I enjoy Sara Cox's version of the Breakfast Show almost without reserve.

 

 

For the love of God, Eddy. What on earth are you thinking?

 

Sara Cox is one of the few reasons I am embarrassed to be from Bolton.

 

Chris Evans' "puppyish enthusiasm" is just downright annoying, as is everything else about him. 

 

I really thought you were a man of taste.

 

Yours

 

Sporty

(not even on his 50s, but more "Victor" than all of you)


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 some potato headed fanny faced shitberg of a cunt in a silver hatchback

 

#62321 OFFLINE   robinmasters

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Posted 20 April 2017 - 10:25 PM

Harry Styles' new song is fucking ace!


It's a sign of the times.


That was Prince, not Harry Styles.
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#62322 OFFLINE   M'coli

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Posted 20 April 2017 - 10:49 PM

You guys are brilliant!

​A really big chunk of my fundraising came from people from here too, really grateful for the support, thanks to all.

 

I'm at about £800 which is knocking on a grand with gift aid. Been injured and ill but determined to complete. And now there's a much stronger chance of me registering and finding the start too!

Another donation - you're not too shabby yourself!  Good luck at the weekend.


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#62323 OFFLINE   Louise2cv

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Posted 20 April 2017 - 10:50 PM

Another donation - you're not too shabby yourself! Good luck at the weekend.


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#62324 OFFLINE   Louise2cv

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Posted 20 April 2017 - 10:50 PM

Thanks ever so much, hope to do you proud :)
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#62325 OFFLINE   loserone

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Posted 20 April 2017 - 10:59 PM

Do not make eye contact with anyone.

 

I made that mistake once.  Oddly, someone in the area then asked how far north I lived and offered that they'd moved from Cumbria and still hadn't gotten used to pretending noone else exists.


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#62326 OFFLINE   Tayne

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Posted 20 April 2017 - 11:21 PM

That was Prince, not Harry Styles.


I thought it was the Belle Stars?
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Tous les Vauxhalls sont des merdes

#62327 OFFLINE   Tayne

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Posted 20 April 2017 - 11:23 PM

Sara Cox is one of the few reasons I am embarrassed to be from Bolton.


Do any of the other reasons answer to the name Vernon Kaye?
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Tous les Vauxhalls sont des merdes

#62328 OFFLINE   sporty-shite

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Posted 20 April 2017 - 11:28 PM

Do any of the other reasons answer to the name Vernon Kaye?

Possibly, but he's nowhere near as annoying as that Cox woman. Not by a long way. 


 some potato headed fanny faced shitberg of a cunt in a silver hatchback

 

#62329 OFFLINE   Eddie Honda

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Posted 20 April 2017 - 11:32 PM

Yes, use a contactless card on tube barriers and buses and at 2am the next day it works out the cheapest fare you can get away with for the journey made (i.e. a maximum of a travelcard worth) and charges your card.


It's all witchcraft!

Last time I was in Shit City (2015), I must of looked a right thicko from the country. My miserable bank(s) hadnt issued contactless cards and the train ticket I was using was an old-fashioned CIV handwritten one because SailRail.
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#62330 OFFLINE   overrun

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Posted 21 April 2017 - 01:10 AM

Hay fever is kicking my arse, and every time I sneeze it hurts my back. I worry that it will set off the muscle spasms I can get, as my back isn't the best at present, and was fucked, a couple of weeks ago.


Safe now. Everything's lead lined.

 

 


#62331 OFFLINE   michael1703

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Posted 21 April 2017 - 05:35 AM

I have to get round London this weekend I am pooping myself. Not because I am anti London or anti public transport, just because I have no idea what I am doing. Working out where to go/which bus or train/how to pay etc.
I'm more nervous about getting my number and getting to the start than I am about running the 26miles!


You need a good poop before running 26 miles too.

Don't use the DLR if you can avoid it, get south of the Thames another way, it's known to break on marathon day, one year some poor buggers had run 4 miles before they'd even started the race
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#62332 OFFLINE   Cavcraft

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Posted 21 April 2017 - 08:55 AM

Filming children and attempting to conceal it maybe?

If you can't see the issue with this then you've either arrived yesterday from another planet or you're woefully naive.


This. We've reported people in the past at my local park for the same thing.
Could be entirely innocent and maybe they're taking pictures because they used to live near there years ago, or whatever. Thing is though, you'd do that when there was no kids about.
Even in junior football we (managers) couldn't take pictures of our team unless the parents gave us permission.
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#62333 OFFLINE   cms206

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Posted 21 April 2017 - 09:48 AM

For the love of God, Eddy. What on earth are you thinking?

Sara Cox is one of the few reasons I am embarrassed to be from Bolton.

Chris Evans' "puppyish enthusiasm" is just downright annoying, as is everything else about him.

I really thought you were a man of taste.

Yours

Sporty
(not even on his 50s, but more "Victor" than all of you)

Sara Cox is a fucking nuisance of fuck. I just don't listen to R2 before 9.30am or after midday any more.

I liked the spell of Chris Tarrant covering for Steve Wright a couple of years back. More or less anyone appears to be more entertaining than Simon Mayo. Jeremy Vine can fuck off as well. R2 was ruined by most of the presenters dying or being/accused of being beasts.

Just need them to decide they're board of Johnny Walker, Ken Bruce and Bob Harris and I can fuck it off altogether.



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#62334 OFFLINE   Supernaut

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Posted 21 April 2017 - 09:53 AM

"Oh, could you please install a phone in this room?"

 

"Ok then"

 

Room turns out to be in the arse-end of a huge building, taking me about 10-15 minutes of wandering about to find because having room numbers on your door is for losers.

 

Once I find said room, it's locked up tighter than a drum, and has a phone number on the door to call to gain access. I call the phone number, no answer, it just rings endlessly. Phone number is NOT the one I'm installing, before you lot make any smart-arse comments. :P

 

Get. In. The. Fucking. Sea. I've had this a few times this week now, and have a growing pile of 'to install' phones on my desk.


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#62335 OFFLINE   Lord Sterling

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Posted 21 April 2017 - 11:47 AM

We want to go to London on Friday. Family day out.
Obvs we could take the car.... Park at Stanmore for a fiver, four all day tube tickets (£44 total) and about £20 diesel. But thought for a bit of chill time, take the train.
First of all, it's a fucking lottery where to get it from. I'm half an hour from Tamworth, Leicester, East Midlands Parkway and Rugby. There is a huge difference in prices from those stations, like £99 (for all of us) to £230 (at roughly the same time of day).
Then, there's the Off Peak Farce. You say you want a return, you say you're leaving at 9.30am, it offers you an off-peak return. What time can you come back? WHO FUCKING KNOWS. Virgin say after 16.45 unless you're only going as far as Long Buckby in which case it's 19.00. London Midland say any return train. Except the tickets say I can use any TOC so I need to check before getting on the train.
Then you realise that sometimes, two singles is cheaper than a return, but then you're on a fixed train. This means you can reserve a seat, but can't miss the train. And it might be more expensive. So you end up with tabs open for all the different train companies, two different booking screens for singles and returns, then trying to check the off peak rules.... then you realise that some returns are valid on certain TOCs only.
I do this all the time for work, but when it's your own cash you start to look a bit harder and it's a total nightmare.


I feel for you there brother...

I have to do this all the time for work. Travelling from place to place trying to find the cheapest way to get there to make the job worthwhile (otherwise I just call up the office and demand extra monies)

Train travel is vastly and sometimes prohibitively expensive, it's also deliberately complicated due to the fact that many travellers have fast moving lives and don't have time unpick the spaghetti menus and cross travelling through other operators etc...
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#62336 ONLINE   dave21478

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Posted 21 April 2017 - 02:15 PM

It's all witchcraft!

Last time I was in Shit City (2015), I must of looked a right thicko from the country. My miserable bank(s) hadnt issued contactless cards and the train ticket I was using was an old-fashioned CIV handwritten one because SailRail.

 

Aye, last time I went to London I was gazing about me in awe, snapping photos of stuff for my collection caper. The only way I could have looked more like a hillbilly would have been to wear my wellies and an old wooly jumper with bits of hay sticking out of it.

 

Yeah, I get it...;its not my natural environment, but why the fuck does it have to be so complicated? The transport systems are pretty much a mystery unless you are born there....I guess this knowledge is passed down like genetic racial memories or something?


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#62337 OFFLINE   Parky

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Posted 21 April 2017 - 03:45 PM

No, it's just exposure to it. Those of us who work in it every day soon learn that when something goes wrong, we need an alternative route so we work one out.

Louise - to get to the Excel it is hard to avoid the DLR as none of the other lines go particularly close to it. One option might be to get the Jubilee to North Greenwich (by the O2) and then get the cable car over to the other side of the river. You will be dead close to the Excel centre then.

DLR can be picked up at Tower Hill, Bank, or Stratford. Which mainline station are you arriving at?

#62338 OFFLINE   Parky

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Posted 21 April 2017 - 03:54 PM

Sorry just noticed you are starting at Heathrow.

Journey would be a bit of a faff but this works - not the quickest but fewest changes

Piccadilly Line to Green Park. Roughly 18 stops

Change at Green Park to Jubilee line headed for Stratford and get off at Canning Town (9 stops)

Then DLR from Canning Town to Prince Regent (3 stops)

And you'll be there, well just about anyway. Custom House is the best DLR station but I think it's currently closed. Typical! If it should be opened specially for tomorrow, use that station instead.
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#62339 OFFLINE   richardthestag

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Posted 21 April 2017 - 04:35 PM

myhermes

 

is there a less efficient delivery service with crapper customer service interface?

 

Utter shit


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#62340 OFFLINE   beko1987

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Posted 21 April 2017 - 05:38 PM

I feel ill, not felt like this for ages and I know what's coming.

Dunno if it's driving 464 miles in 3 days (i rarely drive long distances, it fucked me right up. First time I've ever felt like I was going to fall asleep at the wheel), sleeping in the car without putting the seat flat for an hour, kipping on my dad's sofa afterwards for 4 hours or the quite nice chicken burger I ate from a reputable* looking shop by the Manchester Apollo...

I had stuff to do tonight, but it looks like I'll be having an early night.

Funnily* Google asked me to review the closed service station somewhere near Grantham that we pulled into their car park for an hours sleep. I gave it 3 stars, a+ car park, wud sleep in again...
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