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Grumpy old man/pedant thread.Please feel free to add.


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#61741 OFFLINE   DodgeRover

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Posted 25 March 2017 - 11:23 AM

My hairline fucked off quite a few years ago too.
I bought cordless clippers and once a week I give it a run over without the guard. On plenty of guys, this makes them look pretty good. In my case it makes me look like a BNP thug, but fuck it.....Im not fussed.


Surely Fronte National? Rather than BNP?

#61742 ONLINE   Bobthebeard

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Posted 25 March 2017 - 11:25 AM

Im 32 and my hair is thinning but i still have a cool haircut, if its at the point where its really bad dont make yourself look like a sex offender by having a combover take it off fella


I still have hair, but it went from brown to badger white/grey in my early 40's. Faffed around with it for a year or two before giving up and going for the 'number one' cut all over. I looked a reet tit with a patchy white/grey hairstyle TBH. Short is now best.
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Nervously prodding at rust since 1978

1991 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme 3.1 V6 (Almost* restored)
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#61743 ONLINE   shumarialto

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Posted 25 March 2017 - 01:26 PM

Is there anyone (except the BBC, obvs) who actually finds Catherine Tate even remotely funny?

Whatever..........................................


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#61744 OFFLINE   beko1987

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Posted 25 March 2017 - 10:02 PM

Out with work, let's get smashed!

12 sols later, nah, americqno please. Coach comes back at 12 30... Doubt there's much shite around the gherkin...

2005 Gooner2 2.2dci Auto ex taxi (apparently) (Ex Kiltox)

2008 orl Vauxhalls r Shit Zafira 1.8 SRI 140 (Hers)
 


#61745 OFFLINE   Negative Creep

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Posted 25 March 2017 - 10:06 PM

Whatever..........................................

 

 

but it's Monty Python when compared to Mrs  Brown's Boys. I've seen funnier autopsies


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#61746 OFFLINE   Isaac Hunt

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Posted 25 March 2017 - 10:08 PM

Who invented Torx Star Drive bits should be shot.  I hate the fekkers, is it me or do other folk find it hard to work out what size bit is needed.  Even the correct size never seems to fit proper.  It's a bit like a partly rounded nut before you've even started.  FFS, give me a proper hex head bolt.


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#61747 OFFLINE   Eddie Honda

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Posted 25 March 2017 - 10:13 PM

My grump is that in reverse. Gimmie a proper hexalobular headed bolt.

#61748 OFFLINE   hairymel

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Posted 25 March 2017 - 10:44 PM

Mondeo is in limp mode.  Glow plug light flashing, lost most of its power, fuel economy dropping like a stone, engine sounds like a skeleton wanking in a biscuit tin.  Bollocks.

 

What are the chances of my £10 code reader being able to communicate with a 15-year-old diesel?  Zilch, I would guess.

 

cant answer that, but i used a f-super (think f super 2 is now available) interface to read my 52 plate tdci and i think it works on tddi's as well.

 

glow plug light as you probably know is usually indicating limp mode. 

 

changing the fuel filter on mine fixed most of its issues, and i have replaced the pipe between the intercooler and egr valve as this holes itself.

 

or maybe your fuel pump/injectors/everything else has assploded.



#61749 OFFLINE   beko1987

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Posted 25 March 2017 - 11:04 PM

Well 12 sols later I admit I can't drink lik2 I used to. Being in that London they shut the coffee machine.

Im mot alone though.
IMG_20170325_230208.jpg

That's gnomeotoole, occasional poster of this parish and my line manager...

2005 Gooner2 2.2dci Auto ex taxi (apparently) (Ex Kiltox)

2008 orl Vauxhalls r Shit Zafira 1.8 SRI 140 (Hers)
 


#61750 OFFLINE   privatewire

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Posted Yesterday, 09:49 AM

Del Boy's vehicle was a RELIANT REGAL!!!!!!! If you want to be pedantic a "Supervan iv" (i think).SWMBO thinks I'm a sad old grumpy fecker, which I probably am, but I knew all on here would understand.ITS NOT A ROBIN RELIANT YOU STUPID TWATS!!!! YOU DONT SAY "I DRIVE A MONDEO FORD" DO YOU????Thanks, I feel better now.....

I was at a quiz last night, and one of the questions was "What kind of van did Del Boy have?" can you guess the answer the "quizmaster" gave?
He shouted me down when i objected as apparently "it's the same thing"

Sigh.
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#61751 OFFLINE   alcyonecorporation

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Posted Yesterday, 09:57 AM

I was at a quiz last night, and one of the questions was "What kind of van did Del Boy have?" can you guess the answer the "quizmaster" gave?
He shouted me down when i objected as apparently "it's the same thing"

Sigh.

pppffft, wireprivate, I mean, jesus............*


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Lukas, shaking his head


#61752 OFFLINE   AlabamaShrimp

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Posted Yesterday, 10:00 AM

^^I gave up complaining a out stuff like that at the pub quiz as it seems if everyone shouts the same answer, right or wrong, that's the answer.

Lost me a bottle of wine with just that situation last week :-)
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Hey moustache!

#61753 OFFLINE   Des

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Posted Yesterday, 02:00 PM

Who invented Torx Star Drive bits should be shot.  I hate the fekkers, is it me or do other folk find it hard to work out what size bit is needed.  Even the correct size never seems to fit proper.  It's a bit like a partly rounded nut before you've even started.  FFS, give me a proper hex head bolt.

 

I think they were invented to give an option for those hammer a smaller socket moments when encountering allen key socket headed bastards. 


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Festering scum of the earth, yer motoring public.

#61754 OFFLINE   michael1703

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Posted Yesterday, 04:00 PM

I went to quiz night Friday, our team name was 'anal seepage' which was quite apt as we were shite.

Questions in the music round, name Kanye west's first album? Name Taylor swifts first album?

I shouted 'I thought this was a music round?' which most agreed with
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#61755 OFFLINE   dollywobbler

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Posted Yesterday, 08:32 PM

I've have spent pretty much every moment of today trying to ensure I have a fully working laptop for the start of the working week - the hard drive failed in my trusty daily last week.

 

A friend has loaned me a hard drive, and that got the old HP working again. Spent quite a long time getting all the settings how they should be, and installing all the apps I use. Dropbox was not playing ball though. It's pretty critical to my work, but just crashed every time I tried to open it. Spent ages buggering about with settings to no avail. Sod it. There's a version of Dropbox for Linux. I'll try that. Nope. Failed to install it on two laptops.

 

On the plus side, one of those two laptops is Mrs DW's even more ancient Toshiba. It's at least 12 years old, but had been ruled dead due to a beer incident some months ago. Only, it booted up first time. But, it uses Windows XP, and Dropbox refuses to work with it. Ugh. It also seems to point blank refuse to have anything to do with Linux, so I guess this is it. Feels like I've gone back to 2002! I quite like it...


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#61756 OFFLINE   chaseracer

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Posted Yesterday, 08:35 PM

"Classic XP Driver(s)" - NEW! from DW Publishing...  ;)


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#61757 OFFLINE   strangeangel

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Posted Yesterday, 09:06 PM

12 sols

 

= one pint of actual beer. No wonder smashedness never occurred ;)



#61758 OFFLINE   robinmasters

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Posted Yesterday, 09:45 PM

Sport. 

 

Fuck off to the sports channels and stay there.

 

I don't recall anything I enjoy ever ousting sport from the planned TV schedule. 

 

Football: you've got ninety whole fucking minutes. If you can't win a game in an hour and a half, tough fucking shit. The Avengers shouldn't be postponed/cancelled because you useless coiffered rapists can't kick a ball into a big net enough times.

 

The Olympics: nobody cares about those sports the rest of the time, and they wouldn't now if it wasn't TEH ENGLUND playing. Stay on the sports channels, at 3am.

 

Rugby: nobody watches this at home. Stick to the pay channels, which the pubs will pay for. 

 

Golf: Get in the fucking sea. 

 

Cycling: Middle-aged men take up cycling to a) get away from their wives, and b ) as an excise to shave their legs. Neither make this a worthwhile audience, unless you also have a range of shitty lycra clothes to flog.

 

Horse racing: Nobody cares. The audience only care of they've got money on it, and they'll be watching in the bookies. See above re commercial enterprises paying to show it.

 

Tennis: Just barely acceptable due to Britishness, and being in in the afternoon when nothing of any consequence is on. 

 

In a similar vein, sport on the news. IT'S NOT FUCKING NEWS. 


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I used to have a signature, but now I don't.

#61759 OFFLINE   chaseracer

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Posted Yesterday, 10:07 PM

^ 8.5/10 RANT, WUD LISEN AGEN  ;)


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2009 Cannondale Quick CX - pushy
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#61760 ONLINE   Craig the Princess

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Posted Yesterday, 10:10 PM

Farage and Hopkins trying to tell people the population of London is cowed and scared.

How dare these arseholes think so little of Britian and it's people?
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Filtered through the Heather!


#61761 OFFLINE   Alexg

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Posted Yesterday, 10:47 PM

I normally listen to JOB on LBC in the morning and have attempted to listen to Farage purely in the interests of balance and to remove myself from any bubble I may or may not be in. But it's just reinforced my belief that he's the worst kind of odious, manipulative, hate-mongering cretin.


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#61762 OFFLINE   Lord Sterling

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Posted Today, 12:35 PM

Fucking BCA bastards draining fuel out of cars leaving us to run out of fuel on the way. Usu ally there is enough to get to the petrol station, but obviously nor this time. Plus they are often located out on the middle of nowhere. Twats.

Attached Images

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'03 BMW 316i SE - Daily... :lol:
'97 Rover 825 Sterling auto - ...Back home, needs: Radiator, sills, MOT... :|
'95 Rover 827 Sterling auto - ...Needs unseizing... :(
'90 Rover 827 Sterling auto - HGF :( HEELLP!!...
'87 Rover 825 Sterling auto - Rusty but solid, running... :neutral:
'87 Rover 820E auto - Garaged.... :mrgreen:


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#61763 OFFLINE   Lord Sterling

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Posted Today, 01:01 PM

Guy in a 1970s Porsche helped to 'my' car out of the way. How about that!

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░▒▓█▀▄▀...AUTOSHITE - bringing misery and despair to the world of motoring...▀▄▀█▓▒░

الحمد لله ما شاء الله

AUTOSHITE EXECUTIVE LEAGUE
'03 BMW 316i SE - Daily... :lol:
'97 Rover 825 Sterling auto - ...Back home, needs: Radiator, sills, MOT... :|
'95 Rover 827 Sterling auto - ...Needs unseizing... :(
'90 Rover 827 Sterling auto - HGF :( HEELLP!!...
'87 Rover 825 Sterling auto - Rusty but solid, running... :neutral:
'87 Rover 820E auto - Garaged.... :mrgreen:


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#61764 OFFLINE   RayMK

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Posted Today, 01:19 PM

That looks like a thirsty brute.  Maybe they only left a gallon in it, barely enough to wet the injectors for a few minutes.  I hope you got sorted with fuel with not too much inconvenience. 


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#61765 ONLINE   Mr_Bo11ox

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Posted Today, 01:31 PM

I normally listen to JOB on LBC in the morning and have attempted to listen to Farage purely in the interests of balance and to remove myself from any bubble I may or may not be in. But it's just reinforced my belief that he's the worst kind of odious, manipulative, hate-mongering cretin.

 

I can’t put into words how much I despise that man, he’s a friggin world champ at telling everyone where theyre going wrong but never, NEVER EVER adds anything constructive to anything. The friggin day after he gets his big dream fulfilled he runs off to live in Trumps big gold toilet rather than get involved in the aftermath. Now its starting to get moving he’s popping up here and there (usually on Fox news, slagging off Britain for pocket money) moaning that it’s not happening quick enough for his liking. Heres an idea then Farage. Get yourself elected and get involved in the legislation process if you don’t like how its going without you. Oh hang on, you’ve failed to get elected half a dozen times already, presumably due to being no more than a divisive, hate-spreading ‘rentagob’ turdsteak with no concept of public service, negotiation, compromise or statesmanship. I have previously (and controversially) wished upon him an unpleasant terminal disease, and have not changed my view on that, other than I would now like him to undergo countless rounds of miserable, debilitating chemotherapy and radiology for this theoretical disease, and for him to spend some time recovering, only for it to unexpectedly go metastatic after 12 months and do him in anyway. Cheers.


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#61766 ONLINE   Bobthebeard

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Posted Today, 01:52 PM

To quote Boll.

"I can’t put into words how much I despise that man, he’s a friggin world champ at telling everyone where theyre going wrong but never, NEVER EVER adds anything constructive to anything."

Much like a lot of the folk round here. (Lytham St Annes). Comfortably off, older white folk, read (and actually believe) the Daily Mail and go on endlessly about where 'it is all going wrong'. But have nothing constructive to say in way of a solution. Just rants about Immigrants, the NHS and that 'they' should do something about it. Farage et al just are fuel to their fire.
I genuinely despair.
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Nervously prodding at rust since 1978

1991 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme 3.1 V6 (Almost* restored)
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#61767 OFFLINE   Lord Sterling

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Posted Today, 01:54 PM

That looks like a thirsty brute.  Maybe they only left a gallon in it, barely enough to wet the injectors for a few minutes.  I hope you got sorted with fuel with not too much inconvenience.


Cheers man. Been here for over 2 hours. Car is only an E220 Coupe. I've complained to BCA but feel it's rather a drop in the ocean.

Mercedes-Benz assist haven't been too helpful either. I broke down at 12:20. Still waiting for them to turn up.
.31109980376_e6f01e6edd_o.jpg

░▒▓█▀▄▀...AUTOSHITE - bringing misery and despair to the world of motoring...▀▄▀█▓▒░

الحمد لله ما شاء الله

AUTOSHITE EXECUTIVE LEAGUE
'03 BMW 316i SE - Daily... :lol:
'97 Rover 825 Sterling auto - ...Back home, needs: Radiator, sills, MOT... :|
'95 Rover 827 Sterling auto - ...Needs unseizing... :(
'90 Rover 827 Sterling auto - HGF :( HEELLP!!...
'87 Rover 825 Sterling auto - Rusty but solid, running... :neutral:
'87 Rover 820E auto - Garaged.... :mrgreen:


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#61768 OFFLINE   AMC Rebel

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Posted Today, 01:59 PM

I went to quiz night Friday, our team name was 'anal seepage' which was quite apt as we were shite.

Questions in the music round, name Kanye west's first album? Name Taylor swifts first album?

I shouted 'I thought this was a music round?' which most agreed with

 

On a point of order, Kayne West's first effort was pretty seminal work, not least as it didn't have much content that was solely his.  His later work is garbage though.


1994 Range Rover Classic "The Crying Pumpkin"

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2000 Ford Puma 1.7 - Roffled and now with new AS owner

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1956 Chevy 210 4 door hardtop - bought in 2000 and still in my garage - I even do a bit of work on it occasionally - long term project

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2005 Land Rover Discovery - for long trips and moving engines 


#61769 OFFLINE   AMC Rebel

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Posted Today, 02:05 PM

Sport. 

 

Fuck off to the sports channels and stay there.

 

I don't recall anything I enjoy ever ousting sport from the planned TV schedule. 

 

Football: you've got ninety whole fucking minutes. If you can't win a game in an hour and a half, tough fucking shit. The Avengers shouldn't be postponed/cancelled because you useless coiffered rapists can't kick a ball into a big net enough times.

 

The Olympics: nobody cares about those sports the rest of the time, and they wouldn't now if it wasn't TEH ENGLUND playing. Stay on the sports channels, at 3am.

 

Rugby: nobody watches this at home. Stick to the pay channels, which the pubs will pay for. 

 

Golf: Get in the fucking sea. 

 

Cycling: Middle-aged men take up cycling to a) get away from their wives, and b ) as an excise to shave their legs. Neither make this a worthwhile audience, unless you also have a range of shitty lycra clothes to flog.

 

Horse racing: Nobody cares. The audience only care of they've got money on it, and they'll be watching in the bookies. See above re commercial enterprises paying to show it.

 

Tennis: Just barely acceptable due to Britishness, and being in in the afternoon when nothing of any consequence is on. 

 

In a similar vein, sport on the news. IT'S NOT FUCKING NEWS. 

 

100% agree - and a great rant to boot.

 

I was wank at all sports at school and therefore hated and ridiculed.  Whenever some tool is interviewed about all the great things sport teaches you I have a hollow laugh.  All it taught me is I don't like sport.

 

I would add that whilst Golf seemed like one of the more pointless sports to put on telly, Snooker and Darts seem even more flaming ridiculous.

 

Also -

 

What some supermarket has done - not news

 

What some tool in a soap opera has done - not news

 

Who won a daft talent show - not news


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1994 Range Rover Classic "The Crying Pumpkin"

2000 Ford Mondeo Verona 1.8 pez 

2000 Ford Puma 1.7 - Roffled and now with new AS owner

1968 AMC Rebel SST convertible (working and road legal but in limp home mode)

1967 AMC Rebel SST convertible (superior body and originality being slowly raided for spares for the '68) Off road for at least the last 25 years

1956 Chevy 210 4 door hardtop - bought in 2000 and still in my garage - I even do a bit of work on it occasionally - long term project

2005 MG ZT-T awaiting completion of engine transplant of spare V6 after OMG HGF on the engine that "never has that problem"

2005 Land Rover Discovery - for long trips and moving engines 





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