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Cavcraft 2017: VAG w*nk*r.


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#31 OFFLINE   meowdchina

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Posted 12 January 2017 - 03:34 PM

The Guangzhou ToxicWasteStream Teabag Honourable Son of Soldier 125 scooter has gone this morning, thank fuck.

 

Ahh ...Guangzhou (pronounced "gwonjoe"). It's very difficult to think of a filthier, litter strewn, stinking, air polluted shit hole that is Guangzhou..............happy memories.......but mostly not.


Not quite the end of the Earth but
you can just about see it from here.

#32 ONLINE   Cavcraft

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Posted 12 January 2017 - 03:40 PM

It's very difficult to think of a filthier, litter strewn, stinking, air polluted shit hole that is Guangzhou

 

rhyl-pan.jpg


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#33 OFFLINE   meowdchina

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Posted 12 January 2017 - 04:02 PM

Lols............but Rhyl is a paradise by comparison.


Not quite the end of the Earth but
you can just about see it from here.

#34 ONLINE   Cavcraft

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Posted 12 January 2017 - 04:05 PM

Going through the history, interesting reading includes:

 

2009 New alternator (inc. fitting) £448.50

 

2010 Supply/replace o/s/f window assembly £276.09.


"As for actually admitting to liking Corsas on a public forum: you're a bollock-brained, biscuit-eating, faux-northern, bastardy, bollocky, wank-brain"

#35 OFFLINE   Station

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Posted 12 January 2017 - 04:33 PM

In the end my son followed me home so was the only person lucky enough to have seen that message. Less fortunate were the queues of traffic behind him, but hey ho.


IMG_4161.JPG
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#36 ONLINE   anonymous user

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Posted 12 January 2017 - 04:57 PM

It's very difficult to think of a filthier, litter strewn, stinking, air polluted shit hole that is Guangzhou............but Rhyl is a paradise by comparison.

Have you thought of contacting Denbighshire Council, I'm sure their tourism officer would love to use that line in the promotional material.


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#37 OFFLINE   Jams

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Posted 12 January 2017 - 05:46 PM

Lols............but Rhyl is a paradise by comparison.



Wow wow wow calm down with that talk sir
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#38 OFFLINE   meowdchina

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Posted 12 January 2017 - 06:04 PM

Have you thought of contacting Denbighshire Council, I'm sure their tourism officer would love to use that line in the promotional material.

LoL, They're welcome to it, however it might backfire if people go to Guangzhou instead just to confirm that there is a place worse than Rhyl..........could be a close competition mind.


Not quite the end of the Earth but
you can just about see it from here.

#39 ONLINE   Cavcraft

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Posted 14 January 2017 - 03:31 PM

There's been another addition to the fleet today, thanks to one of our gang. There is due to be two more as well, but one's been delayed until tomorrow or another time and the other I'm not 100% about yet. Next job is syphoning some of the juice out of the Megane.


"As for actually admitting to liking Corsas on a public forum: you're a bollock-brained, biscuit-eating, faux-northern, bastardy, bollocky, wank-brain"

#40 ONLINE   Cavcraft

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Posted 14 January 2017 - 05:06 PM

Bit of a double whammy here:

IMG_0405.JPG

(There was an alleged £40's worth of diesel in it, so getting a fair bit out for the van and the 406)


Also the 'gearbox might be knackered' is just the linkages. The bushes have worn where they pop on the knuckles, one is worse than the other. Don't know what sort of a job they are to do just yet, hopefully not too hard.
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#41 OFFLINE   richardmorris

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Posted 14 January 2017 - 05:41 PM

We used to go to Rhyl for the day when I was little (1970s). The last time I think had a plague of ladybirds- billions of the things- in clothes, hair and sandwiches!

The sand had a greeny grey slime and if the tide was out the water was so far away you couldn't even see it. Also th donkeys left their business everywhere.
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#42 ONLINE   Hooli

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Posted 14 January 2017 - 05:43 PM

Why do people go abroad for holidays anyway?


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#43 ONLINE   Cavcraft

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Posted 14 January 2017 - 05:48 PM

Because of Rhyl?
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#44 OFFLINE   For Fiats Sake

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Posted 14 January 2017 - 07:54 PM

But GunHo (whatevah) won't have a "clock tower carpark" where in the 70's/80's you could get groped on stage by a radio 1 DJ!


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#45 ONLINE   SiC

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Posted 14 January 2017 - 08:08 PM

If that Megane is only linkages, its worth fixing.

Why?

Well its the 1.5DCI. So that means £30 p/a road tax and easy >60mpg.
Current Fleet:
2004 Smart Roadster 80bhp - The fun one that is the last hurrah before kids
2007 Honda Civic EX CTDi - The reliable runner that is like the family pet.
2010 Aldi A4 - Owned to placate the wife on my crap buying


My history: 2003 Clio II 1.2 16v (First car), 2003 Honda Civic 3dr 1.7 CTDi (Isuzu lump), 1992 Mazda MX5 1.6, 2005 Mazda RX8 192bhp, 2005 Saab 9-3 1.9TiD 150bhp, 2007 Honda Civic 2.2 CTDi, 2004 Renault Scenic 1.6 Auto (Now Kiltox FiL), 2004 Saab 9-5 2.3t (Now Hooli), 2004 Smart Roadster 80bhp
Wife history (that she used/owned but I had frequent use of): 2002 Renault Clio II 1.2 16v (Billabong!), 2006 Mazda MX5 1.8, 2004 VW Golf 1.6 FSI, 2005 Renault Scenic II 2.0 (went bad from the drive back when buying it!), 2002 Vauxhall Astra 1.6 16v (now phil_lihp ex-colleague), 2005 Renault Laguna II v6 (Now angle)

#46 ONLINE   Cavcraft

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Posted 14 January 2017 - 08:21 PM

If that Megane is only linkages, its worth fixing.

Why?

Well its the 1.5DCI. So that means £30 p/a road tax and easy >60mpg.

 

Yep, cheap tax ahoy. We're planning on fixing it, had offers circa £30-£150 from scrap men. I'll admit the latter was tempting initially, but it's probably too good (ha!) for that fate. I'll get the felt pen/nail varnish out on the scratches and take it from there, must be worth three and a half ton all day long with linkages done, and a bit more on top if tarted up.


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#47 ONLINE   SiC

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Posted 14 January 2017 - 08:52 PM

Yeah, they'll probably be wanting the injectors and fuel pump. Constant demand for these.

No DPF on these either.

They are very agricultural sounding for a modern common rail diesel though. But that is the compromise for OMGMPG.
Current Fleet:
2004 Smart Roadster 80bhp - The fun one that is the last hurrah before kids
2007 Honda Civic EX CTDi - The reliable runner that is like the family pet.
2010 Aldi A4 - Owned to placate the wife on my crap buying


My history: 2003 Clio II 1.2 16v (First car), 2003 Honda Civic 3dr 1.7 CTDi (Isuzu lump), 1992 Mazda MX5 1.6, 2005 Mazda RX8 192bhp, 2005 Saab 9-3 1.9TiD 150bhp, 2007 Honda Civic 2.2 CTDi, 2004 Renault Scenic 1.6 Auto (Now Kiltox FiL), 2004 Saab 9-5 2.3t (Now Hooli), 2004 Smart Roadster 80bhp
Wife history (that she used/owned but I had frequent use of): 2002 Renault Clio II 1.2 16v (Billabong!), 2006 Mazda MX5 1.8, 2004 VW Golf 1.6 FSI, 2005 Renault Scenic II 2.0 (went bad from the drive back when buying it!), 2002 Vauxhall Astra 1.6 16v (now phil_lihp ex-colleague), 2005 Renault Laguna II v6 (Now angle)

#48 ONLINE   Cavcraft

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Posted 22 January 2017 - 03:50 PM

What's (probably) worse than a 306 that smells like it was used as a portable toilet for the warthogs at Chester zoo?

 

 

mondeao1111.png

 

 

(I couldn't be arsed walking a few hundred yards to get an actual picture, so I just used a 'street view' one and chopped it a bit.)

 

 

Obvs. like it's going to end it's days being fragmented into separate or limited portions and invited onto a sea going voyage to the Peoples Republic of China, whereupon it will be re-manufactured into dangerous toys.


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#49 OFFLINE   shumarialto

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Posted 22 January 2017 - 03:58 PM

What's (probably) worse than a 306 that smells like it was used as a portable toilet for the warthogs at Chester zoo?

 

 

attachicon.gifmondeao1111.png

 

 

(I couldn't be arsed walking a few hundred yards to get an actual picture, so I just used a 'street view' one and chopped it a bit.)

 

 

Obvs. like it's going to end it's days being fragmented into separate or limited portions and invited onto a sea going voyage to the Peoples Republic of China, whereupon it will be re-manufactured into dangerous toys.

What's the big steaming pile of shit next to the Mondeo?



#50 ONLINE   Kiltox

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Posted 22 January 2017 - 04:04 PM

I have a mate who might want that Megane with the linkage sorted, will ask tomorrow
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#51 ONLINE   Hooli

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Posted 22 January 2017 - 04:06 PM

What's the big steaming pile of shit next to the Mondeo?

 

That is a 'house' it's an English thing, they've not invented them in Jockshire yet


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#52 OFFLINE   Skizzer

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Posted 22 January 2017 - 04:11 PM

What's the big steaming pile of shit next to the Mondeo?

Chester.

;-)
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#53 ONLINE   Cavcraft

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Posted 22 January 2017 - 04:18 PM

Chester.

;-)

 

:-D 


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#54 ONLINE   Cavcraft

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Posted 22 January 2017 - 04:20 PM

What's the big steaming pile of shit next to the Mondeo?

 

It's my mate's G*lf. He's mad about the sodding things, he's owned that for years. 


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#55 OFFLINE   sierraman

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Posted 22 January 2017 - 05:10 PM

Crack free bumpers??

#56 ONLINE   Cavcraft

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Posted 22 January 2017 - 05:34 PM

Almost certainly not, but will check.


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#57 ONLINE   Cavcraft

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Posted 22 January 2017 - 09:34 PM

MOT history :

 

 

Registration number: R240FFM

 
  • Vehicle make FORD
  • Vehicle model MONDEO
  • Date first used 10 January 1998
  • Fuel type Petrol
  • Colour Green
 
MOT history of this vehicle
  • Test date 7 April 2015
  • Expiry date 6 April 2016
  • Test Result Pass
  • Odometer reading 43,121 miles
  • MOT test number 2758 5739 5085
  • Advisory notice item(s)
    Offside Rear Tyre worn close to the legal limit (4.1.E.1)
  • Test date 20 February 2014
  • Expiry date 19 February 2015
  • Test Result Pass
  • Odometer reading 38,873 miles
  • MOT test number 9878 1135 4033
  • Advisory notice item(s)
    Nearside Front Tyre worn close to the legal limit (4.1.E.1)
    Offside Front Tyre worn close to the legal limit (4.1.E.1)
  • Test date 31 January 2013
  • Expiry date 8 February 2014
  • Test Result Pass
  • Odometer reading 35,250 miles
  • MOT test number 3753 2153 3099
  • Advisory notice item(s)
    Nearside Front Tyre worn close to the legal limit (4.1.E.1)
  • Test date 30 January 2012
  • Expiry date 8 February 2013
  • Test Result Pass
  • Odometer reading 31,954 miles
  • MOT test number 3653 9093 2022
  • Advisory notice item(s)
    Nearside Front Tyre worn close to the legal limit (4.1.E.1)
    Brake fluid level getting low
    Deep cut to O/S/R tyre
  • Test date 4 February 2011
  • Expiry date 8 February 2012
  • Test Result Pass
  • Odometer reading 28,472 miles
  • MOT test number 7563 9543 1030
  • Advisory notice item(s)
    Rear Brake pipe slightly corroded (3.6.B.2c)
    Nearside Front Lower Suspension arm rubber bush deteriorated but not resulting in excessive movement (2.4.G.2)
    Offside Front Lower Suspension arm rubber bush deteriorated but not resulting in excessive movement (2.4.G.2)
    both front brake discs discoloured
    nsf inner cv gaitor leaking
  • Test date 4 February 2011
  • Test Result Fail
  • Odometer reading 28,472 miles
  • MOT test number 9665 4563 1001
  • Reason(s) for failure
    Nearside Rear Tyre has a lump, caused by separation or partial failure of its structure (4.1.D.1b)
  • Advisory notice item(s)
    Nearside Rear Tyre worn close to the legal limit (4.1.E.1)
    Rear Brake pipe slightly corroded (3.6.B.2c)
    Nearside Front Lower Suspension arm rubber bush deteriorated but not resulting in excessive movement (2.4.G.2)
    Offside Front Lower Suspension arm rubber bush deteriorated but not resulting in excessive movement (2.4.G.2)
    both front brake discs discoloured
    nsf inner cv gaitor leaking
  • Test date 4 February 2010
  • Expiry date 8 February 2011
  • Test Result Pass
  • Odometer reading 25,157 miles
  • MOT test number 8836 3503 0082
  • Advisory notice item(s)
    slight damage to nearside rear bumper
    nearside rear tyre perishing
  • Test date 9 February 2009
  • Expiry date 8 February 2010
  • Test Result Pass
  • Odometer reading 21,440 miles
  • MOT test number 3048 8074 9089
  • Advisory notice item(s)
    advise closer insepction of offside rear brake cylinder
    nail in nearside rear tyre also slighty perishing
  • Test date 9 January 2008
  • Expiry date 9 January 2009
  • Test Result Pass
  • Odometer reading 17,296 miles
  • MOT test number 4412 3910 8037
  • Test date 9 January 2007
  • Expiry date 9 January 2008
  • Test Result Pass
  • Odometer reading 12,991 miles
  • MOT test number 1511 5930 7086
  • Test date 5 January 2006
  • Expiry date 9 January 2007
  • Test Result Pass
  • Odometer reading 12,430 miles
  • MOT test number 8121 1560 6062

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#58 ONLINE   Ghosty

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Posted 23 January 2017 - 09:03 AM

43k? Is that warranted - if these only have five digits it could well have been round the clock.

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#59 OFFLINE   sporty-shite

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Posted 23 January 2017 - 10:10 AM

43k? Is that warranted - if these only have five digits it could well have been round the clock.


These have six digits.

 some potato headed fanny faced shitberg of a cunt in a silver hatchback

 

#60 ONLINE   Cavcraft

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Posted 23 January 2017 - 10:19 AM

I'm told it's genuine. It's still 42,999.5 miles than I'd want to do in one like.
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