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Autoshite Quote of the Year Thread 2017


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92 replies to this topic

#31 OFFLINE   AMC Rebel

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Posted 29 May 2017 - 08:08 PM

In my experience the best way to replace a car door is to make sure that you are working on a series Landrover .
That way everything is out in the open, and when you have finished nobody expects the thing to lock or remain watertight.

 

  • Timewaster, cobblers, myglaren and 11 others like this

1994 Range Rover Classic "The Crying Pumpkin" cried off, rusty

2003 Jaaaag XJ 260K miles and counting

2000 Ford Mondeo Verona 1.8 pez FOR SALE Now with new As owner

2000 Ford Puma 1.7 - Roffled and now with new AS owner

1968 AMC Rebel SST convertible (working and road legal but in limp home mode)

1967 AMC Rebel SST convertible (superior body and originality being slowly raided for spares for the '68) Off road for at least the last 25 years

1956 Chevy 210 4 door hardtop - bought in 2000 and still in my garage - I even do a bit of work on it occasionally - long term project

2005 MG ZT-T awaiting completion of engine transplant of spare V6 after OMG HGF on the engine that "never has that problem"

2005 Land Rover Discovery - for long trips and moving engines 


#32 OFFLINE   twosmoke300

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Posted 29 May 2017 - 08:11 PM

But not a single bolt will undo without gas !

Skoda Octavia 1.9tdi - the boring modern 

Fiat Ducato 2009 l3h2

Honda Crf250X

Suzuki TS50x

Kawasaki Ke175d

Prilla Pigsasshole 650

Saxo 1.5D

Land Rover 90 2.5 petrol

Honda CB250N super wet dream

 

 

 


#33 ONLINE   somewhatfoolish

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Posted 31 May 2017 - 01:22 PM

Nearly 6 grand for a Birmingham El Camino and he's spelt it Morris Itel.

 

http://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/pjsAAOSwdG...

 

http://www.ebay.co.u...jsAAOSwdGFYtJwY 


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#34 ONLINE   Junkman

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Posted 31 May 2017 - 04:41 PM

French exceptionalism: mintel, talky Nudie films, existentialism and LHM, all sadly becoming things of the past!


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1967 Renault 16 TL............................................now with floor and MoT

1971 Mercedes 280SE............................................................fucked

1979 Mobylette AV89............................................................running
1997 Peugeot 405 2.0 Executive Estate.................now with aircon and brakes


#35 OFFLINE   UmBongo

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Posted 03 June 2017 - 11:24 PM

Noticed how that prick TITMARSH is trying to "TALK PROPER" now his got a knighthood for sucking up to royalty.

How the fuck can anyone deserve a GONG for weeding LIZ's  garden.

Now he's thinkin he's a friggin antiques "expert" with the hoypaloy on daytime ITVs  MASTERPIECE ..........WONKER :shock:

 

Courtesy of our friend, Noseypoke.


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UmBongo

 

''I say what I like and I like what I bloody well say.''

 
George Whitebread, Yorkshireman

 

 


#36 OFFLINE   DeeJay

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Posted 04 June 2017 - 08:43 PM

http://autoshite.com...-7#entry1236496

 

 

So yes, it is a 1967 Renault 16.

Which makes it exactly the model before the one you can get spares for.

 

 

 

Junkman, from his Renault 16 collection thread.

Made me laugh.


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#37 ONLINE   Junkman

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Posted 05 June 2017 - 10:20 PM

Was ist der neue Freund von Steffi Graf vom Beruf?

Grafiker.


  • michael t, Ghosty and AMC Rebel like this

1967 Renault 16 TL............................................now with floor and MoT

1971 Mercedes 280SE............................................................fucked

1979 Mobylette AV89............................................................running
1997 Peugeot 405 2.0 Executive Estate.................now with aircon and brakes


#38 OFFLINE   bunglebus

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Posted 10 June 2017 - 08:13 PM

^  Must be a Hitchcock film, he always made a cameo appearance,  I can see his reflection on her coat...

 
From the cars and girls thread. Think you need http://autoshite.com...-1497054390.jpg to put it in context...

  • Bobthebeard likes this

Plain spotter


#39 OFFLINE   tooSavvy

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Posted 17 June 2017 - 11:57 AM

Junkman.

1999, after which manual column change finally became something you do in Excel.

On column changes ;)


TS
  • chaseracer, Magnificent Rustbucket, AngusToledo and 4 others like this

Wallsend?.....it's not the End of the Walled ;<)

35942490325_3f0da8b633_m.jpgSUCKS


#40 OFFLINE   Dave_Q

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Posted 30 June 2017 - 12:45 PM

Anyway I've been told/reminded by the wife that I'm only allowed 3 cars maximum and just because one is a classic, I can't make up exemptions...

 

I do it all the time:

"I didn't buy it, it was given to me"
"It's a van"
"It's a motorcycle"
"Look, it's not a car, it's a tricycle"
"It's not a car, it's quality used spares"
"It's cheaper than hiring a car"
"I needed a car to get to the tip and I'm not insured on my dad's vehicle"
"The car in the drive isn't mine, it's Junkman's and he's just visiting"


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2004 Citroen C8 Exclusive HDi

Assorted 2 wheel shite, motor and pedal powered


#41 OFFLINE   spartacus

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Posted 08 July 2017 - 09:48 PM

Just to be clear here, if you have room in your garage or on your driveway, you do not yet have "too many cars". 

cdwood2010, on buying more cars
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#42 ONLINE   Junkman

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Posted 10 July 2017 - 12:24 AM

Can you get 1:24 balaclavas and HiAb?

 

On Italeri rereleasing the old ESCI 1:24 Escort MKII in the Shite in Miniature thread.


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1967 Renault 16 TL............................................now with floor and MoT

1971 Mercedes 280SE............................................................fucked

1979 Mobylette AV89............................................................running
1997 Peugeot 405 2.0 Executive Estate.................now with aircon and brakes


#43 ONLINE   Junkman

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Posted 11 July 2017 - 10:18 PM

Shirley since the model T was all conquering and made up the majority of cars on the planet, the others must have been the odd ones?


  • AMC Rebel likes this

1967 Renault 16 TL............................................now with floor and MoT

1971 Mercedes 280SE............................................................fucked

1979 Mobylette AV89............................................................running
1997 Peugeot 405 2.0 Executive Estate.................now with aircon and brakes


#44 OFFLINE   chaseracer

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Posted 12 July 2017 - 07:06 AM

AS is like that hidden platform in the Harry Potter films except that it would lead to a fantastic car auction that only had stuff from the 80's and 90's and the prices never went above 200 quid even with fees.


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2009 Cannondale Quick CX - pushy
2003 Citroen Berlingo 2.0HDi - daily
1995 Peugeot 205 Inca 1.7D - shiny (relatively...) 
1982 Citroen Dyane 6 - winter rebuildy

AS Midland Massiv - in chod we rust...


Thanked by 1 Member:
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#45 OFFLINE   shumarialto

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Posted 12 July 2017 - 08:14 AM

This gem from Cort16

 

The 166 had the most contrived rear suspension setup I've ever seen . Mine had a weird rear camber so I put it up on a lift , looked at it, put it back down and immediately listed it on eBay .


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#46 OFFLINE   DSdriver

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Posted 17 July 2017 - 10:56 PM

BFG's reply to a much earlier question in SQA by Louise

 

Posted 14 July 2017 - 04:40 PM

 

1) Is it true that there are hardly any shared body parts between the Princess and the Ambassador?'

 

.. a spokesman from the Royal household declined to make comment on such allegations.

 

It took him a while to thinkup the reply but it was worth the wait :)


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JohnF said:
"I have to say, I don't really like the styling of Citroens.

But I just love the fact that they exist."

#47 OFFLINE   chaseracer

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Posted 25 July 2017 - 06:28 PM

There's another problem with older cars ^  If you leave a job because of having to justify the cost-versus-return, you generally find you're stuck with a car you can never justify investing in the repair of.  That in turn gives you a car that's difficult to sell on because nobody else wants to fork out to get it fixed for the same reason.  The job will probably cost just as much now as it would have five years ago, the only difference is the car's financial value has dropped.  It's sentimental value has probably done the inverse.  If you like it and can't afford to replace it with something better, then fix it.  Might take a while to get the funds together, but sod the return you might get further down the line in the future.  If anyone sits down with all their receipts and looks at what they've invested in a car they quickly find they've lost money whether it's a £100 banger or a £10,000 classic.
 
Stop worrying about the financial return and fix the car if you like it (and can afford to, obviously) or sell it on and take the loss on the chin.  Also, never be afraid to compromise on cosmetics.  A working car you can drive and enjoy is worth far more than a buggered one with lovely paint.


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2009 Cannondale Quick CX - pushy
2003 Citroen Berlingo 2.0HDi - daily
1995 Peugeot 205 Inca 1.7D - shiny (relatively...) 
1982 Citroen Dyane 6 - winter rebuildy

AS Midland Massiv - in chod we rust...


#48 OFFLINE   shumarialto

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Posted 03 August 2017 - 08:37 AM

This in Cort's MG thread. Under used words are the old disco biscuits.

 

I didn't think it would be my thing.I remember them being a bit of a joke at the time and if you'd said to me 1994 I'd be rubbing my trousers over one, a rough one at that 20 odd years later Id tell you to check your pint for disco biscuits.


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#49 OFFLINE   DeeJay

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Posted 14 August 2017 - 10:20 PM

OFFLINE   The Moog

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Brakes bled I now have a pedal harder than a piss head who thinks you have been staring at his bird. 

 

Moogs motors, always a good read


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#50 OFFLINE   spartacus

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Posted 19 August 2017 - 08:34 PM

...and spent most of its life in a sea-water lashed on-street parking bay getting shat on by gulls the size of a condor.

Mercrocker, commenting on the life of an 'island car'.
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#51 OFFLINE   outlaw118

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Posted 21 August 2017 - 06:56 PM

Exiled Tat Hoarder on the GOM Fred

 

 

the 12 sandwich eating fat useless excuse for a lard arse

 

Describes me pretty accurately tbh


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2004 Alfa Romeo 156 JTD Sportwagon - Much Lovliness

1985 Ford Capri 2.0 - Baby - Sulking - Broken

2012 Vauxhall Combo 1.3 Dizzle - Workshite

2012 Kia Rio - Mills -o- matic SWMBO

2005 Ford Fiesta 1.25 zeeetekkyo Stepdaughtershite

2017 Ford Kuga  - Stepsonshite - On Finance like a mug

2009 Citroen Xsara Picasso - Stepdaughter-in-law Familybus

 


#52 OFFLINE   Conrad D. Conelrad

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Posted 24 August 2017 - 11:42 PM

Can you like a like?

 

quote-0.png


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#53 ONLINE   eddyramrod

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Posted 27 August 2017 - 08:25 AM

 

Repainting this car would be as culturally negligent as demolishing a Brutalist car park.

Renault 6 Rescue thread :)

 

Who uses the phrase "Culturally negligent" these days?  A* for that, Angyl!


  • chaseracer, Magnificent Rustbucket, catsinthewelder and 4 others like this

The Blob: 2007 Chevrolet Tacuma (wheelchair bus)

Giffer: 1995 Rover 820Si

Huggy Bear: 1973 Cadillac Coupe de Ville

 

 

Mr ramrod is the nicest person in the world  (Chompy_snake, 2015)

Eddy is the finest fellow you will ever meet,  FACT (Djimbob, 2017)


#54 OFFLINE   vulgalour

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Posted 27 August 2017 - 08:53 PM


I have reached the conclusion that if the people who frequent this site had a gun put to their heads they still could'nt buy a running, driving,complete car in good condition.

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#55 ONLINE   Junkman

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Posted 10 September 2017 - 12:15 AM

It's probably an Autoshite first that something from an introductionary post of a new member
gets posted here, but this is just too epic:

I think my new mantra for Renault 6 repairs is "Almost everything is almost impossible".

I suppose it serves us right for buying a right-hand drive, front engined, front wheel drive car fitted with an engine and gearbox designed for a left-hand drive, rear engined, rear wheel drive car.


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1967 Renault 16 TL............................................now with floor and MoT

1971 Mercedes 280SE............................................................fucked

1979 Mobylette AV89............................................................running
1997 Peugeot 405 2.0 Executive Estate.................now with aircon and brakes


#56 ONLINE   Brodders

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Posted 12 September 2017 - 09:40 PM

Bren basking in the magnificence of Cavcraft's fleet.

Billy that photograph of your fleet looks so utterly fucking depressing it should be adorning the cover of a smiths album.


  • richardthestag, cobblers, catsinthewelder and 14 others like this

2001 Rover 75 1.8 Connoisseur SE
1993 Renault Safrane 2.0 RT Automatic

1968 Triumph 1300


#57 OFFLINE   vulgalour

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Posted 14 September 2017 - 05:27 PM

Renaults. 
 

Welcome to French. If it doesn't have Mole grip marks on it, it's not been serviced.


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#58 ONLINE   somewhatfoolish

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Posted 16 September 2017 - 07:40 PM

I think this would be too shonky even for a collective AS purchase.

I bet it's roofing felt that the underneath is repered with, with a big mlerm of hot tar to seal it all up.

 

Mostly for the use of the word mlerm, which ought to be but probably isn't in Roger's Profanisaurus.
 


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#59 OFFLINE   chaseracer

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Posted 17 September 2017 - 10:24 AM

Of the Manchester Autotest in August...
 

Whereas the Saab looked more like an attempt to thread a needle with a slab of square sausage.

 

:D


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2009 Cannondale Quick CX - pushy
2003 Citroen Berlingo 2.0HDi - daily
1995 Peugeot 205 Inca 1.7D - shiny (relatively...) 
1982 Citroen Dyane 6 - winter rebuildy

AS Midland Massiv - in chod we rust...


#60 OFFLINE   spartacus

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Posted 17 September 2017 - 06:20 PM

"My step-mother has just got a tractor."

Only on Autoshite...

Form the excellent tractor thread by Vin.
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