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(Not a) Suzuki Alto (any more)


Jim Bell

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Celebrity New Car Buy © Sky 2015.

 

Hello and welcome to the show!

 

Good afternoon to you fans of the shite and shit!

 

You may remember me from if at all, One Man And His Hob, Through the Keyhole, and X-Factor: Battle Of The Stars!

 

When I am not cooking the fish, or doing all the good singing, I like nothing more than to cast my Shite net far and wide, to trawl up the good best catches.

 

This week I have only been and gone to buy a car.

 

It is extra nice. I had better take all of my dough.

 

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(this is actually pasta).

 

 

 

 

This weeks car is the colour of Red. Just like a lobster!

 

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(this is actually a crab)

 

 

 

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A had better get this car picked up snappy!

 

 

 

It has the got the low miles, and it make me want to be like Miles, Davis! With my trumpet of fish.

 

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This car has been in constant production since 1979 and comes origonally from the land of the rising sun, just like this tuna!

 

 

 

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(this is actually a trout).

 

 

 

 

This car has the five doors so that I can carry all of my shopping or do with the dogging at weekends and bank hollingdays. The ladies will have to be smoll though as smallness is the KEY to this car.

 

 

 

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Though this is not an old or horrendous car, this may still be the plaice for me:

 

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(this is actually a Trout)

 

 

 

With almost no options ticked at purchase, scoring a big zero on the desirability scale, this little number may grow up one day to be a prime Autoshite contender.

 

 

 

 

 

So, look at the clues.

 

 

Can you guess what this weeks buy has been?

 

Just for fun, I have included a red Herring.

 

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(this is actually a Red Snapper)

 

 

 

 

 

To go through to the Big Money round, TELL ME

 

 

*in unison*

 

 

 

WHATS, THAT, CAR!!!!?

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Wot no Zil? sadface.

Im a doctor Jim, not a magician.

 

That's an enjoyable bizarre thread. I got it right too!

We have only just begun.  Im joking. We are finished.

 

Is it turbot or normally aspirated?

Very not any turbo.

 

is it the cheapo tax or the bent over tax version

£13 per year.  Which is one big billy bargain.

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Mere minutes later and we arrive at destination of choice motor sale.

 

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Double Suzuki action.

 

 

 

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Patented handover shot. Seller exits stage right.

 

 

 

 

I do not really fit.

 

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Pez action!

 

 

Have you ever seen a cleaner filler?

 

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To the brim we go. VALU!

 

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Could barely keep up with the Yeller Peril on the run home.

 

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Barrels along gamely though. Happiest around theres levels of perambumance.

 

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Quality original dealer key ring.

 

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Home safely.

 

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Pea Shooter!

 

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All in all, much the same as the last Alto, only newer. I do remember that one fondly. This one is impossible not to like. Clean and tight like a very expensive manhattan prostitute. 5 Stars. Great seller. Great car.

 

 

5CXn9xm.jpg

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