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Guest Message by DevFuse
 

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Roffle

Raffle - Renault Vel Satis - £7.5 ticket

Roffle

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248 replies to this topic

#1 OFFLINE   chodweaver

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Posted 24 November 2016 - 09:55 PM

Dear Sirs, Madams and Otters

Some of you may recall how the opportunity to own a prime piece of French chod was STOLEN from you about a year ago, from underneath your very noses by an unscrupulous lurking fiend of the worst type.

 

But he (me) seeks to redeem himself by once again offering said beigeness...

 

this 2003 Renault Vel Satis 2.0T Privilege is up for grabs

 

front.jpg

 

Its price has gone up a bit (£590), as I need to recoup some of the spend on it, but I feel this is justified by its:

Long MOT. Only advisories – pitted/scored discs at all corners. They’ve been unprotected while I’ve worked on the parking brake – see below

Working parking brake (I sourced a cable from Cablecraft.ie to replace the unobtainium Renault item that had seized and meant the parking brake only worked on one wheel)

Working disc player (this had a disc stuck in it when I purchased the car)

Backlight of HVAC console repaired

Four new tyres of some obscure but reasonably able rubber (Forceum Octas)

The turbo oil return pipe no longer drips oil on the exhaust, so you can demist and ventilate with impunity

Oil, oil filter, air filter and gearbox oil changed

Four new pencil coils fitted (there were occasional misfires)

New upstream oxygen sensor fitted (failed MOT pre-test on emissions, SOOO far out – now it has no emissions issues)

New rear engine mount (this was shot to bits and starting to affect the gearchange)

New n/s/f anti roll bar drop link – replaced due to the upper boot being torn

New rear anti roll bar bushes – ordered before I found a shite way of sorting the annoying rattle from the rear anti roll bar over rough surfaces (which was the application of some pvc tape around the anti roll bar where the bushes hold it)

I'm also including a new set of brake pads for front and back that are rattling around in the boot, awaiting fitting

 

The bad bits

The mileage. It’s 244k and obviously done some time as a cab of some kind, but probably airports. Having said that, there's almost no rust on it, much of the car being aluminium, and the engine is still sweet, not using or burning oil, or losing coolant.

The giffer dents and scratches. There’s a lot

The previous repairs to the parking brake unit that had been effected by application of a tin opener to the boot floor and then closed up with self tappers, roofing felt and seam sealer. I’ve fabbed up a panel that now covers the hole up somewhat better and can be easily removed when the parking brake next needs attention.

The tyre pressure monitor system puts on the Service display for two reasons – one of the sensors on the o/s/r wheel is not in its original position and hence is not recognised by the system. The n/s/r wheel has no sensor at all and I CBA to buy a used one, fit it and get it recognised by the system.

The clutch release bearing – at idle, this rattles like a good’un, until you dip the clutch. I strongly suspect that this was not replaced when the clutch was last done. I don't think the gearbox has any problems, the oil that came out when I changed it was not in bad shape, and there was the right volume of it. All changes are good.

The daft Renault credit card ignition key. It works but it’s ready to self-destruct.

Much of the plastic trim on the centre console and some of the dash has gone sticky

The two front windows only move 5cm at a time. The reset method that I’ve found on various forums has not worked.

The o/s rear lamp cluster has a few cracks in it. It’s not falling apart and it doesn’t leak white light, so it’s not been an MOT failure or even an advisory.

The reverse parking sensor beeps when you engage reverse, but doesn't seem to do any more than that. Probably explains at least some of the giffer dents...

 

The good bits

They're not kidding about the seats. Renault took a good leather suite, and bolted it in. With heaters. And electric controls. And cup holders. And three zone heating. None of the leather is ripped, but it's not completely pristene.

The stereo is a belter.

Driving the thing is a very pleasant experience.

 

So, there you have it. The price is by pure coincidence* divisible by 59. You have another chance…

 

Moira pics tomorrow, if you're interested


  • Skizzer, Magnificent Rustbucket, Shep Shepherd and 4 others like this

#2 OFFLINE   wuvvum

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Posted 24 November 2016 - 10:00 PM

Something something terrorists.


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#3 OFFLINE   chodweaver

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Posted 24 November 2016 - 10:07 PM

It's true, I've felt far too exposed while driving the presidential Renner. This doesn't explain why I've replaced it with an XM...



#4 ONLINE   Keymaster

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Posted 24 November 2016 - 10:27 PM

23 & 31 pls k tnx
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#5 OFFLINE   BenHar

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Posted 24 November 2016 - 10:30 PM

I was expecting a Focus (fore course) from the title.

Not disappointed.

Ben

CHRIS1980, on 08 Jan 2016 - 8:37 PM, said:snapback.png

Your clearly thick....end of.


#6 OFFLINE   spartacus

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Posted 24 November 2016 - 10:33 PM

I need this like another arsehole...


26 please.
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#7 ONLINE   gadgetgricey

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Posted 24 November 2016 - 10:39 PM

28 if it does roffle please


Current fleet

 

75 CDT Auto Tourer

ZT-T Diesel Manual

LPG 4.0 Jeep Grand Cherokee WJ

Saab 9-3 Convertible 

Saab 9-5 Aero

Merc S430 Roffle Win

Focus 1.6 Auto

 


#8 OFFLINE   chodweaver

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Posted 24 November 2016 - 10:45 PM

<Sigh>

Roffle it is then!

 

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#9 OFFLINE   stripped fred

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Posted 24 November 2016 - 10:55 PM

My mate borrowed one for a weekend and I remember sitting in the back was the nearest I'd come to first class travel. Looks good in the photo.
2004 VW Sharan 1.9 TDI SL - proving a very capable family wagon
1987 Toyota MR2 mk1 t-bar - currently SORN, need to use it more!

Previously...
2001 Peugeot 406 Estate GLX 2.0 Hdi - sold to a shiter
1993 Vauxhall Astra mk3 1.7D - sold to a shiter
2004 Alfa Romeo 156 2.4Jtd 20v SW - sold to a shiter
2001 Audi A4 Avant 1.9tdi - dead, engine problem

#10 OFFLINE   njgleeds

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Posted 24 November 2016 - 10:55 PM

Oh hell....why not. 39 if you could be so kind.... (that's no.39, not 39 random tickets!)
T4 (old,rusty,soon to be converted, hopefully ready for shitefest '17)
Merc 300CE W124 coupe
BMW E39 528i
SLK320
Beetle cabby (Mrs njgleeds)
'09 C5 Tourer (slightly bent)

#11 OFFLINE   chodweaver

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Posted 24 November 2016 - 10:59 PM

Roffle it is then!

 

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#12 OFFLINE   SiC

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Posted 24 November 2016 - 11:03 PM

Ohhhh lordy lordy.

The missus has been going on at me that we really don't need 2 big cars + 1 medium car and that I should get rid of one of the big cars to get something small and fun. So I really, really need to close this window, resisting the strong temptation to buy a ticket.... :(

It's payday tomorrow too!
  • chodweaver likes this
Current Fleet:
1974 MGB GT - A stereotypical classic car.
2007 Honda Civic EX CTDi - The reliable runner that is like the family pet.
2010 Aldi A4 - Owned to placate the wife on my crap buying


My history: 2003 Clio II 1.2 16v (First car), 2003 Honda Civic 3dr 1.7 CTDi (Isuzu lump), 1992 Mazda MX5 1.6, 2005 Mazda RX8 192bhp, 2005 Saab 9-3 1.9TiD 150bhp, 2007 Honda Civic 2.2 CTDi, 2004 Renault Scenic 1.6 Auto (Now Kiltox FiL), 2004 Saab 9-5 2.3t (Now Hooli), 2004 Smart Roadster 80bhp
Wife history (that she used/owned but I had frequent use of): 2002 Renault Clio II 1.2 16v (Billabong!), 2006 Mazda MX5 1.8, 2004 VW Golf 1.6 FSI, 2005 Renault Scenic II 2.0 (went bad from the drive back when buying it!), 2002 Vauxhall Astra 1.6 16v (now phil_lihp ex-colleague), 2005 Renault Laguna II v6 (Now angle)

#13 OFFLINE   Cavcraft

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Posted 24 November 2016 - 11:10 PM

44, please.


"As for actually admitting to liking Corsas on a public forum: you're a bollock-brained, biscuit-eating, faux-northern, bastardy, bollocky, wank-brain"

#14 OFFLINE   WilsonWilson

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Posted 24 November 2016 - 11:11 PM

Number 7 please.

634840.png


#15 OFFLINE   chodweaver

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Posted 24 November 2016 - 11:22 PM

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#16 OFFLINE   barefoot

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Posted 24 November 2016 - 11:23 PM

Fucksticks...

94110.png94111.png94112.png439963.png


#17 OFFLINE   AMC Rebel

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Posted 24 November 2016 - 11:34 PM

I have wanted one of these since they came out. Two randoms please.

1994 Range Rover Classic "The Crying Pumpkin"

2003 Jaaaag XJ 260K miles and counting

2000 Ford Mondeo Verona 1.8 pez FOR SALE Now with new As owner

2000 Ford Puma 1.7 - Roffled and now with new AS owner

1968 AMC Rebel SST convertible (working and road legal but in limp home mode)

1967 AMC Rebel SST convertible (superior body and originality being slowly raided for spares for the '68) Off road for at least the last 25 years

1956 Chevy 210 4 door hardtop - bought in 2000 and still in my garage - I even do a bit of work on it occasionally - long term project

2005 MG ZT-T awaiting completion of engine transplant of spare V6 after OMG HGF on the engine that "never has that problem"

2005 Land Rover Discovery - for long trips and moving engines 


#18 OFFLINE   chodweaver

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Posted 25 November 2016 - 12:07 AM

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#19 OFFLINE   beko1987

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Posted 25 November 2016 - 12:26 AM

Cablecraft? Is that at Billy's new sideline? Glwr!
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2005 Gooner2 2.2dci Auto ex taxi (apparently) (Ex Kiltox)

2008 orl Vauxhalls r Shit Zafira 1.8 SRI 140 (Hers)
 


#20 OFFLINE   chodweaver

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Posted 25 November 2016 - 12:32 AM

Nah, I found out about this Irish operation from one of the Renault forums - they have all the right bits to make a new parking brake cable from scratch, needing only the length measurements of the inner and outer. About 40 quid plus the postage. Couldn't tell it from an OEM part, it was that well done. Would use again +++++++

 

www.cablecraft.ie 


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#21 OFFLINE   doubleyeller

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Posted 25 November 2016 - 12:39 AM

So you nabbed this car off someone on here and now you're giving them the chance to tombola win it back? Haha, great show sir, only on autoshite etc!

 

Steptoe and son, where they bought the lead off the guy who pinched it off their roof comes to mind :)


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#22 OFFLINE   drum

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Posted 25 November 2016 - 02:08 AM

Riffle me a roffle random please.
'68 land rover 109 3.3 perkins
'71 land rover tacr1 x2
'73 puch maxi 0.05
'79 Brown allegro 1.1
'93 Maestro 1.3
'01 omega 2.6
'02 transit van 2.4

#23 OFFLINE   Cheggers

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Posted 25 November 2016 - 05:02 AM

1 random for me please

Sent from my SM-N910F using Tapatalk
I had my photo taken with REM. That's me in the corner...

#24 OFFLINE   Skizzer

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Posted 25 November 2016 - 07:49 AM

I might bite... but what part of the world would this fine Gallic chariot need to be collected from by the lucky winner?
75N Vauxhall 2300S | 76P Lotus Elite | 76P Renault 16TL | 79T Rover 3500 | 82X Lancia Gamma Coupe | 82Y Jaguar XJ-S HE | 83A Jaguar Sovereign 4.2 | 84B Talbot-Matra Rancho | 85C Ford Granada 2.8 estate | 91H Audi 80 2.0E | 91J VW Golf Rivage cabrio | 99T Land Rover Discovery V8 | 06 Alfa Brera 2.2JTS | 14 BMW 428i

#25 OFFLINE   beko1987

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Posted 25 November 2016 - 08:18 AM

I don't remember you nabbing it from anyone, you ponied up full asking during a roffle, the ms the rules!

You've just earned mucho shite points by keeping it in the family!

2005 Gooner2 2.2dci Auto ex taxi (apparently) (Ex Kiltox)

2008 orl Vauxhalls r Shit Zafira 1.8 SRI 140 (Hers)
 


#26 OFFLINE   The Moog

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Posted 25 November 2016 - 08:38 AM

Two random please....

2000 - Ford Poo ma 
2003 - Getz 


#27 OFFLINE   jollyfkr2

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Posted 25 November 2016 - 09:19 AM

a predictable pair of randoms please!



#28 OFFLINE   95 quid Peugeot

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Posted 25 November 2016 - 10:34 AM

I'll have obligatory no 27 please

CHOD

The Peugeot 406 of much cheapness. 190k miles  Deceased, twatted into Central Reservation of A1 Southbound, RIP 10/12/16

The Gaylander TD4 of much gayness. 172k miles 180k miles Sold to nice Romanian man to take to Eastern Europe.

The Peugeot 407SW Mrs 95 quids son # 2 hack 174k miles 182K Miles 190k Miles

The BMW Z4 in the delightful bell end purple colour.      :angry-smiley-007:

The Rover 75 of much comfyness 126k miles, new purchase, very Count Arthur Strong Sold 11.6/17 (Trilby moved to Sterling post sale)

The Skoda Labia TDI of son#1 120k miles 138k Miles 143k miles

The Clitroen ZX of much gifferness reliably earning me .45p/mile work use    95 quid mansions pool car

The Sterling of much grey leather and low miles Sold

The Team Sven Mobiles V70 and XC70  why oh why ?

 

NICE SHITE (Now much reduced in Number)

Triumph TR7

Renault Dauphine

BMW Z4  Ordered by Mrs 95 Quid to move her car into this section. :-D and its still bell end purple.

Bristol 603E

 


#29 OFFLINE   chodweaver

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Posted 25 November 2016 - 11:00 AM

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#30 OFFLINE   chodweaver

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Posted 25 November 2016 - 11:11 AM

There was SOOO MUCH WANT for it when it first appeared, I felt a tad guilty about denying so many shiters of even a chance of owning it, so I always meant to keep it in the fold. It was something of a consolation prize for not being able to find an XM that was usable and it's been a nice thing to have. But it hasn't stopped me wanting an XM, and the eagle-eyed of you may have picked up on the delage red XM that LP linked on the ebay tat thread a couple of weeks ago and then got sold before the auction ended. Yup, that was me. Again. So now the Renner has to go (before I get a letter from the council)

 

It's just north of Stoke on Trent, in Congleton, but as you'll note from where I went for the XM, I'm not averse to a bit of a long drive, so can help with delivery issues. It is however not currently insured and is SORNd.


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