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The Answer to all "What luxobarge?" Questions.....


BavarianRetro

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....is, as I've often said, "E38".

 

Fatharris's Swedish defection made me look at the E38 question again and I thought it might be time to detail the ultimate shite luxobarge collection.

 

Currently, there are four here. Two breakers, one just about to find a new home, and one just about to be made into a lovely car.

 

It's all FOAD's fault. He got a free one and offered it to me at a price that made it very foolish not to buy a car with full electric leather and a running Motronic fed V8 (no carbs,points etc.). It also sat on a decent set of 16" Imperial Style 5s.

 

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But it needed a tank and brakes and a radiator. At least.

 

Then I found another identical car that was cheap - because the gearbox was u/s - but had had a recent new tank, new brakes and new suspension. So it would provide all the bits required to rebuild FOAD's. So I bought it too.

 

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So,now I have two 1997 735is, but neither of them roadworthy. Sound familiar? I have a car needing brakes, suspension and a tank and one needing a gearbox and a window regulator. So, I decide that I should probably build the better one using the FOAD - it really was known in the garage as the "Fuck Off And Die E38" - gearbox and window regulator.

 

At around this time, another local specialist trader literally wouldn't take "No" for an answer - despite several attempts - and I became the owner of a facelift 728i with a long MoT and a smell of petrol for about the cost of the BMW battery in the boot.

 

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This purchase made me rethink the "two 735is into one" plan and I realised we'd spend about three days building a car worth £750, so I ran about in the 728i for a few weeks before a very enthusiastic young Polish couple acquired it at a decent profit and immediately - and I mean with 45 minutes - put it through three speed cameras on the way home to Edinburgh. Always, always email a copy of the receipt to any purchaser you don't know personally before they leave your premises.

 

So, now I'm back on the one from two plan, but it's not really stacking up.

 

Then, the stack collapsed entirely when laseraligningfoofooflanges posted this Individual Mora metallic 740i beauty on here:-

 

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This was - is - a peach - it needed a fuel tank - spot any pattern emerging? - but it had a superb spec, quality colour, ran well and had the potential to be a lovely, lovely car.

 

So the two 735is finally became breakers.

 

Unfortunately, that potential I spoke of in the Mora monster was spotted by a customer one day, who waved cash in my face, offering me a not insignificant profit. I am sorry to say that I succumbed and regretted it even before its bonnet was out the gate. I still do. I should have kept it.

 

Then, a couple of weeks ago, another Mora Metallic E38 appeared on the scene, this time a 728i sporting M Parallels, Alpina spoilers, quad stainless exhaust, top tint screen, Shadowline, comfort sports interior, black head cloth, DSP, PDC, widescreen Nav, electric sunblind, folding mirrors, Brembos etc..

 

However, it also came with some history:- a colour change, faulty electrics, a smell of petrol(!), Engine management light on, Cat C and a tamper dot on the mileometer.

 

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So, it's never going to be a retail car, but it's got a cracking spec and because of its faults and "history", it's cheap. I've *still* got that good, new tank, despite it being earmarked for three separate cars now (this'll be its fourth), so we'll fix it up and keep it. That's a plan I can stick to.

 

Well you'd think so. It was a plan that unravelled before the Mora car was even delivered.

 

I was offered a local, one owner, 88000 mile FSH, 728i in poverty spec with a gearbox problem, an ABS problem, and, surprise, surprise a leaky petrol tank. The cost of this one owner, FSH money pit? £300. That's the plan up shit creek again and the fifth car to be promised that new tank!

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So, what's the plan now then?

The Mora car is now poverty spec with full black interior (every single interior piece swapped, carpets, door cards, seats, seatbelts, all trim, stereo, etc., etc. Externally, it took the older lights, eBay grille, standard mirrors, basically all the goodies removed and swapped for the standard stuff on the silver 88000 mile car. It sounds easy when you say it quickly, but there was a good three or four full days of work in that and honestly, the workshop looked like there had been an explosion on the 1999 E38 production line.

 

All the goodies are now scattered far and wide - well in the boot of the silver car - and all the interior is waiting to be cleaned and fitted. Once we've fitted the tank, oh and an ABS precharge pump, and tidied up a couple of bits of surface rust.

 

Here's the Mora 728i now, ready to go to its happy new owner. I think it actually looks better with the black interior, black carpets, black head cloth etc.:-

 

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And just to round us off nicely, and bring us back to the start, do you recognise the 415 TRX wheels it's wearing now?

 

They were last seen gracing FOAD's E28.

 

I'll report on the build of the silver one in the next episode....unless the plan changes.

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I think the fuel tank issue affects them all.

 

Basically, if it hasn't had a new tank, it needs one. Of the six that have been here over the past few months, five have needed a tank.

 

There's the expense. A decent tank appears to be about £350. Then there's the labour. It is a definite see you next Tuesday of a job. I think, depending on how other work goes, we'll be doing it this coming week. Perhaps the following week. I'll do an update on the removal and refitting.

 

The E39 is just a slightly smaller E38. There are a lot of common components. The E38/39 is, I think, the last BMW I'd be prepared to own. Thereafter it's all too complex electronically with I-Drive, CANBUS and other stuff we can't look at with our analogue multimeter.

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I've had an e38, a few e39s and one e60 which was a horrible heavy badly made woeful heap of shit.

I guess the internet knows this as the asking price of decent e39 sports is through the fucking roof and e60s are getting really cheap.

These e38s are still cheap I'll have a 728i sport in hellrot red please.

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We scrapped, yes scrapped, a 2004 E60 touring because of electrical problems and the cost to fix them.

 

E38 prices are all over the place just now. It seems to be a phenomenon that's a precursor to them taking a hike. If you want a decent E38 for banger money, I really don't think you've very much longer before they start to stop dropping. Anyone waiting for them to bottom out is probably holding out too long.

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Where does the tank leak from?    Would be interesting to see, once it is out. Do they all go in the same place?

 

This chap repaired his and discovered that Araldite is not petrol-proof (although judging by my similarly bodged repairs to the pinholes in the 110's tank it does appear to be diesel proof), but subsequently finds some stuff called Pratley putty that he says worked better.  

 

This POR-15 stuff is reputed to work too, but the tank has to come out to apply it so there wouldn't be much point unless you want to keep your spare tank to attract further E38s like moths to a flame.

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The tanks are a two piece steel casting spot welded and seamed together. The seam is a half inch flat ridge that runs around the whole tank, with a few bolt holes and locating holes through it, which are grommeted but still accrue a certain amount of crud and rot. So they rot from the sides in, and split the seams open, which is why you can usually get away with driving them with a third of tank in. They can be rescued if they haven't rotted through, or if the rot is at the side of the seam only and not on the main body. Otherwise its £300+ for a s/h one or £900 from dealers.

Every other 90s onward beemer uses a plastic tank, so it's the only one that suffers. It's not a total pig of a job, but the exhaust has to be dropped, and the prop too, so it's fairly laborious.

Surprisingly I'd say about 80% of the tanks we drop out at work are usable, mostly solid, or a few with a minimal patch or two at most.

 

I'd be inclined to agree that they are the answer to nearly all "what big car" questions. If there was only an estate version...

 

E60s are absolute dog poo...

 

I'd have had that mora 740i if you didn't nab it before me... might have told you that already...

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I quite like the e60/e61. Still striking and modern looking considering the age. Bangles did well imo. Of course some think they're hideously ugly...

 

Once they get down to the 1k-2k for not a totally shagged example, I'd be half tempted to get one to rock around in. WPCGW. Even if it did, they should be getting to the age where there are plenty of spares.

 

It'd have to be a straight-6 petrol though.

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SiC, on 12 Nov 2016 - 9:07 PM, said:SiC, on 12 Nov 2016 - 9:07 PM, said:SiC, on 12 Nov 2016 - 9:07 PM, said:

E38 was a Bond car too. Afaik it's the cheapest 007 car you can currently buy...

Renault 11?

https://jerrygarrett.wordpress.com/2012/10/28/the-worst-car-james-bond-ever-drove/

 https://youtu.be/rtRoiIf2A3s

 

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That's a very, very early Turbo R. Even if it's an '85 B, I'm surprised they were making them in '85. But anyway, the Turbo R and Silver Spirit aren't common or garden luxobarges like the XJ, S class, 7 series and the ilk. They're proper oligarch, plutocrat and aristocratic conveyances which like many of the oligarchs, plutocrats and aristocrats that they once conveyed may now have fallen on hard times and can be found hanging around on street corners on council estates throughout the land.

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