Roffle Range Rover Roffel - It's All Over Now! Caution: Victim established!

[Skizzer]

I don't have any first hand experience of P38s, so I'm staying out of it other than to wish Junkman lengthy continuation of the joy he is clearly getting from his surprisingly modern and leathery vehicle.  

 

But I did think 'mongs' was a bit harsh.

 

 

Actually, I do have a P38 story: a friend bought one for buttons with a borked engine a few years ago, spent a lot of money on a new engine (souped up a bit I think) and some other bits, then absolutely adored it and apparently had no more trouble than with any other car, i.e. not much.  Make of that what you will.

[Rusty_Rocket]

I think it was me he was calling a mong.  Perhaps I am, I drive a Vauxhall after all.

[bub2006]

All the best sir. Smart looking car and hope it works out well.

[cros]

This vehicle is susceptible to stray signals from household devices upsetting the balance of its two computers. A friend had no problems at all until he installed a Bluetooth controlled cistern in his outside bog whereupon the P38 consistantly refused to start the mornings after he'd been out for a curry.

[jonathan_dyane]

It looks lovely and I commend your braveness however I suspect they are like XM's in that if you get a good one which has been looked after you won't find it any more trying to look after than more mundane machinery. 

 

Should you need it I have a new heater matrix and o rings lying around; believe it or not the XM uses the same part...

[quicksilver]

Who are you and what have you done with the real Junkman? First you bought a Talbot with a manual gearbox, then replaced it with something that was both made after 1986 and has leather seats. You've violated all three of Junkman's Unbreakable Laws of Motoring within a few weeks so what's going on?

 

Seriously though, best of luck with it. Looks a good one so fingers crossed it doesn't give too much trouble. I think you've got the right attitude - a problem is only a problem when it happens so until then don't worry about what might happen

[Junkman]

It looks lovely and I commend your braveness however I suspect they are like XM's in that if you get a good one which has been looked after you won't find it any more trying to look after than more mundane machinery. 

 

Should you need it I have a new heater matrix and o rings lying around; believe it or not the XM uses the same part...

 

And the heater motors are the same as the Peugeot 405 ones, with the only difference being that the Peugeot 405 ones cost 75 quid and the P38 ones 19.95. For this reason my 405 has fanned its occupants with a P38 one for years.

[Eddie Honda]

Who are you and what have you done with the real Junkman?

 

Reminds of this from @17:03 http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x4lykpo

 

"good sports page"

[Junkman]

Who are you and what have you done with the real Junkman? First you bought a Talbot with a manual gearbox, then replaced it with something that was both made after 1986 and has leather seats. You've violated all three of Junkman's Unbreakable Laws of Motoring within a few weeks so what's going on?

 

I take the liberty to use this post to make a statement on this issue vicariously for all the comments that doubt my sanity.

 

1. I was looking for a WBoD.

 

2. A WBoD must meet some, but not necessarily all of the following criteria:

 

- It is a purchase for temporary use in Winter, to preserve one's proper shite by not exposing it to conditions leading to its rapid decline

 

- It has to be raving bonkers

 

- It does not necessarily have to meet one's usual car selection criteria, i.e., it can deviate significantly from them

 

- It should be seen as something like an experiment

 

- It should not be something one really loves, because:

 

   A. It shouldn't matter to one if it grenades

   B. One shouldn't be too concerned with its preservation, i.e. it shouldn't matter to one when it dissolves in the brine

 

- The more unsuitable for Winter usage it is, the more extra shite points are awarded

 

- It should be expendable if its trajectory isn't congruent with a slippery road

 

- One shouldn't have to shed a tear when it expires

 

- Extra golden shite points if one manages to unload it onto an unsuspecting victim in Spring after all and use the proceeds toward the purchase of some proper shite one loves.

 

 

The Talbot fell short of WBoD spec, because I didn't have the heart to run it into the ground and thus ruin it for a genuine enthusiast forever.

I have no such concerns with the Range Rover. For this and several other reasons, including an actually rather sober one, I selected it as my WBoD.

 

WBoD, you understand?

 

Not OMG WANT beige P6 R16 Maserati Quattroporte Chevrolet Caprice Opel Admiral etc etc.

 

And yes, I can see myself knocking the windows out in Spring and race it in the 4x4 class, which very actually does indeed exist.

Okay, it will not actually happen, because the sport is way too uncomfortable for me, but that's the attitude I have toward this thing.

 

It drives quite nicely, though.

I might PX it for a pre '86 one with velours in Spring, if it survives.

[garethj]

This vehicle is susceptible to stray signals from household devices upsetting the balance of its two computers. A friend had no problems at all until he installed a Bluetooth controlled cistern in his outside bog whereupon the P38 consistantly refused to start the mornings after he'd been out for a curry.

 

I'm sure this is true, but it also happens to many other cars.  There are certain directives for EMC emissions that are allowed on equipment and many companies just ignore it.  The cars are tested to comply and exceed what legal levels of EMC is thrown around but if some ebay chancer sells a device from China that puts out enough emissions to stop a pacemaker at 100 yards then probably it's going to affect stuff around it.

 

I'm not suggesting your mate parks several cars outside his bog or includes it as part of the test drive, but I've seen it happen on Renaults, Opels, Volkswagens, Audis, Peugeots....  Not outside your mate's house btw

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

I might PX it for a pre '86 one with velours in Spring, if it survives.

 

How about an Eddie Bauer edition? Tortoiseshell interior. You could use it to traverse the plains of the Serengeti of your life. 

 

[andy18s]

How's about a "nice" LHD 200tdi?

 

Seriously JK it looks like you've bagged a decent 1 there

[billyboy406v6]

Post edited regarding  "m...s" sorry for any offence.

[Bren]

All I can say is this - any ribbing that Junkman is getting will soon pale into insignificance when I reveal my latest purchase in the 'morrow........

[Junkman]

A Ferrari WBoD?

 

Anyway, I went through all HVAC (see, I learn n00speek!) excercises and it does everything I want.

It goes into Program mode, it maintains a preset temperature, it blows when I want it to blow and doesn't when I tell it not to,

it gets warm and cold as I wish, it blows up, down, in the middle as I select and then some.

That Program mode is funny, btw, you press the button and a bloody volcano erupts!

 

What it doesn't do is switch on the Aircon compressor, but that could have to do with it being too cold outside for it to be necessary.

And whether it compensates for a sun beam hitting a bleeding sensor on the dashboard I know not, but worse, I don't give a toss.

If those are the reasons why it shows me a book sign, it can read the Neverending Story to me for all I can be bothered.

[Tamworthbay]

My mate ran one of these for a year, you only need to show him a picture of one now to get him dribbling into his tea and screaming that he needs to go back to the 'nice people who helped his brain work again'. After a year and about £6k in bills he sold it a stupendous loss and bought a Vauxhall, a mokka at that, yup it was that bad.

 

All that makes it a perfect Autoshite car so well bought that man.

[Pillock]

I don't doubt there will be some stories from this car. Hopefully it won't be as bad as the pub geniuses would have you believe, but I suspect it'll have a few moments.

Which is good, really, as Junkman's posts are well written and entertaining, so I'm looking forward to hearing how the drivers window only works when the rear seatbelt it buckled, or the speedo reads MPH divided by outside temperature or something.

[privatewire]

I think it looks bloody splendid, and seeing how I lack the testicular fortitude to actually own one, I shall live vicariously through Herr Junkmeister.......More interior pictures please for me to ​​perve over ​err study. Enjoy your new motor!

[Junkman]

How about an Eddie Bauer edition? Tortoiseshell interior. You could use it to traverse the plains of the Serengeti of your life. 

 

 

It somehow makes me expect it to traverse the plains of the Serengeti of my life on its own account, while I wait in the club until it's finsihed with it.

 

 

How's about a "nice" LHD 200tdi?

 

 

Not bothered re. LHD for reasons I often have explained.

But coal fired really is not an option.

[DVee8]

All I can say is this - any ribbing that Junkman is getting will soon pale into insignificance when I reveal my latest purchase in the 'morrow........

Errrr me to,i do think my ribbing will be a lot more that your's so i'll keep it to myself.

[dave21478]

Nicely. Im glad a trusted shiter will be blogging P38 ownership as I am very interested.

Sadly all the ones I see for sale locally are everything these shouldn't be....ie diesel, manual and converted to coils.

[panhard65]

I have had a couple of diesel auto's of these and they really aren't that bad. I pulled a silver shadow out of a garage in sheffield with one some years ago with 6 inches of snow on the road and it had no problem even pulling a\way with the shadow on a trailer. They do have plenty of problems with the electrics but can actually be a decent drive just don't spend too much money on it. If it starts and stops then it will be fine. The SRS light will be an mot fail though so worth trying to get it turned off before it goes for test.

[andy18s]

My P38 from last year was a diesel automatic

Not quick by any standard but had the torque to get it up to speed

It needed a replacement transfer box when I bought it,the chain drive inside had stretched and skipped at anywhere near full throttle

Had an Abs issue which turned out to be a loose sensor moving away from its trigger wheel. Spot of Araldite sorted that

Battery would go flat after 3-4 days.

Neighbours Wireless weather station was keeping the Rangeys becm awake,unplugging the key remote ariel under the Rhs parcel shelf mount cured that 1

Hevac warning was on mine all the time.

All the heating and cooling worked well so I reckon it was a blend motor as mentioned above.

There's plenty of help out there with suspension ect so I'd be happy to consider another if and when I need a large comfy motor

[Junkman]

The SRS light will be an mot fail though so worth trying to get it turned off before it goes for test.

 

 

The garage that will do the test is actually a LR/RR specialist. I trust they will find the cause.

Pulling out and re inserting fuses surprisingly* did not do the trick and that's pretty much all I can do in terms of diagnosing such newfangled pansy tosh.

[mrbenn]

A neighbour has a 4.6 RR, had it years. I think, in fairness, the things that have gone wrong with his are niggling things. Plus problems with the LPG kit but that's not an issue here. Think he had to replace a suspension airbag recently but he did that on the driveway. Oh and there was some tomfoolery with the sat nav, hardly an essential item.

[hairnet]

May I remind you clowns, that collecting Conrad's Plah killed the haunted Rover?

 

 

You better not use the Range Rover to help him with his next collection, it could get very expensive.

 

 

^^

 

and saw a plah in bridgeton today parked up frae thon bus house

 

also numerous sctsch - pic of plah (which i thought might have been conelrad) in a min

 

edit here y are

 

[Stevebrookman]

Here's mine.

I'll get a picture of the inside tomorrow.

 

 

Steve

[hairnet]

 

 

because the card thingy at the pump only allows me to fill a ton's worth.

 

:O fek

[Junkman]

Interior pix, due to popular* demand*.

 

What you are sitting on:

 

 

Simple* and intuitive* seat adjustment:

 

 

Not sure what's all of a sudden wrong with a bar along the front of a seat to move it foward or backward,

but this thing has this and so I have to live with this nonsense because it is what it is.

At least one of those buttons makes a Thai girl sewn into the seat bolster snuggle up to me.

I bet when she's on strike, some bloody computer will annoy me with a fucking error code.

 

What the childrens sit on:

 

 

It's the first ever car I have with height adjustable seat belts in the rear.

Why all other cars with height adjustabl belts I had only had them in the front, where the adults sit, is beyond me.

Note sagging headliner. Junkdaughter #2 thinks it's posh.

Also note the lack of Plah.

 

Anyway, the bonny wee ones can turn up their ventilation thingys themselves:

 

 

Especially when they are smoking:

 

 

Note pony riding boots illumination. Or alarm light of imminent doom. Or whatever.

Anyway, upon unlocking it and opening the door, 7 lights come on. Opening the remaining doors activates another one in each door.

This is dismal in comparison with the 14 lamps that came on when I opened a door of my Cadillac Eldorado.

 

This is where the rubbish for the tip run goes:

 

 

Note that I carry my Warranty with me, so WCPGW?

 

I have reached an age, where I have a pathetic appreciation for being occasionally reminded what car I drive:

 

 

And again:

 

 

And again:

 

 

And again:

 

[dave21478]

tartan slippers?