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RustyNuts

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Specifying a particular tool you want for Christmas all but guarantees you'll be getting Halfords vouchers on the big day. Unless your significant other happens to work at Machine Mart.....which mine doesn't.......

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Specifying a particular tool you want for Christmas all but guarantees you'll be getting Halfords vouchers on the big day. Unless your significant other happens to work at Machine Mart.....which mine doesn't.......

 

Which is handy as they start doing half price oil on Boxing day !

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 2 months later...

Stainless steel scraps are useful for making odd brackets. It's more of a twat to drill but welding is easy and the best bit is that it don't need painting. By saving stuff like old extractor hoods you'll soon have a workshop like mine- a shithole.

 

post-7547-0-35907400-1485771333_thumb.jpg

This mudflap bracket will last forever. Unfortunately the vehicle it's attached to will have completely dissolved by May if they keep up the salting round here.

 

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  • 2 months later...

Wearing latex gloves guarantees you won't have ingrained oil in your skin five days after working on your car.

 

Another good tip is make sure you are looking at one of your neighbours with a sinister look on your face as you put them on. The resulting lack of Christmas card ensures you need to spend less on cards at Christmas, giving you more money to spend on latex gloves.

 

Seriously though, any sort of cold cream (Olay, Nivea, even a bit of Vaseline) on your hands before you start work will form a barrier and make it much easier to wash off afterwards.

 

And don't lend your decent torque wrench to anyone, they will deny you lent it to them even though you definitely did and they have either lost it, broken it, or sold it. The bastards

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Buy a Disposable paper boilersuit like this

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Disposable-Boilersuit-Boiler-White-S-XXL/dp/B00GJMYVOE/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1492724720&sr=8-3&keywords=disposable+paper+overalls

and keep rolled up in your spare wheel WITH a pair of gloves

Ideal when changing a spare wheel, as pound to a piece of shit it will be raining* and you will be in your best clothes

 

For added win get the waxed paper ones and they are waterproof (for a while)

 

* Scientifically** proven that you are more likely to get a puncture in the wet as the water lubricates the sharp thing so it goes through the rubber more easily!

** A man told me this once

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Use someones old bath water to wash my car? I'd rather leave it unwashed than view the road through a spunk smeared windscreen.

Here's a diesel starting tip for the desperate. I've done it many times in the distant past, and once recently- it still works! If your battery is too shagged to turn a diesel engine over fast enough to start it on a very cold day take off the air hose and stick your palm over the manifold. The engine should turn faster due to the reduced compression and could well fire up on the swift removal of mitt. Recently my Iveco 2.5 was coaxed into life by this method. Don't know about modern things, they probably shut everything down on sensing the presence of body parts in the works.

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My local has a flat roof?? What's the significance of a asphalt roof?

There's a non-zero risk of the Beatles(other popular beat combos are available) holding an impromptu concert on top.

 

The brown lard/copper grease on wheel nuts issue; a significant amount of the torque is to do with the tapered bit and corresponding seat rather than the thread so I daub it on.

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if you ever need to to hold a nut or bolt into a socket or ring spanner while starting it , tear off a corner of newspaper or kitchen towel and jam that in there , works like a charm and is free

That sounds much less messy than my blob of grease method.

 

As for all this torque settings on wheel nuts waffle, we all know the standard tightness is F.T.

The only wheel I ever lost was one I completely forgot to tighten.

No harm done but mini front drums don't half make a groove in the road :-)

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