Probably won't get a lot of time to update y'all this week on the incoming Escort, so here's the low down.
As featured in the eBay Thread - it's a 'scrote that looks like it's playing Tetris with itself.
I know. Doesn't look too bad, does it? That 'golden hour' at twilight flatters even the worst of cars. Let's take another look.
There's absolutely no business sense to this purchase. A perfectly nice one is £1000, and they have the added bonus of being all the same colour. But, as utterly stupid as it sounds, there's something beguiling about this little old thing. Without being vulgar and talking money, he's agreed to sell it to me 'half price'.
Here's the eBay advert - with my corrections in bold.
Ford Escort Mk3 1.3L 5 Door 1986 - MOT to Jan 2018, taxed so can be driven away. I will be testing this for myself. Friday rush hour. M6/M1. WCPGW?
These cars are now enjoying classic status and will only appreciate in value. He's probably not wrong. Any old shitty Ford that goes both backwards and forwards seems to eventually attract the Old Ford Tax/Levy.
Rare Citrine Yellow. 5 Door 1.3L Genuine 44853 miles Wrong. Prairie yellow. Mileage isn't exactly genuine, as the speedo cable was disconnected for all of 10 miles.
We have owned it since 2003 and the previous owner owned it from 1995, the previous two owners to him were members of his family. Nice to hear, regardless of accuracy.
This car has recently been sympathetically repaired/restored, and there are no holes or horrid crunchy bits in the bodywork. Very clean as you will see from the photos. Depends on your definition of restored, but there's certainly some work gone into it.
Comes with full 12 months MOT. Car is taxed so can be driven away. Frankly, the length of the MOT was a bit of a deal breaker!
2 new front wings
Front lower valance and cross beam
2 New sills
2 New rear wheel arches
New rear brakes - cylinders, shoes etc
New front grill (after pheasant strike!)
New tinted windscreen
I've been shitting myself that I've agreed to this purchase at way, way over the odds on price. However, having seen the time and love that went into doing about half of this on the Sierra, probably seems about fair.
Has been cleaned, sprayed and waxoyled underneath from front to back. Hmmm. I'd have preferred to see the car withOUT the waxoyl™, but we are where we are.
New panels have been painted in primer ready for you to spray in colour of your choice or original colour (up to you) Definitely the yellow, I thank you.
Original clean interior. Not sure it's that clean, but BIL has a cleaning company and £3,500 worth of carpet shampoo machine. (Yes, I too never realised you could spend that on a "hoover")
Original Ford radio and cassette player. Gr9 for playing "No Jacket Required - Phil Collins" on for the journey home.
Original rear number plate with supplying dealer logo. Getting replicated for the front ASAP
Original owners handbook/service book, Ford audio book and period leaflet of Ford dealers. DILLIGAF?
All MOTs and tax discs since we have owned it. Cool Story Bro.
The bumper end caps rotted so were removed, it is possible to source replacements easily on eBay. Sounds like typical "Dealer Chat", but the fronts are certainly a doddle. I'll enjoy playing "Hide and Seek" with the other bits.
Only selling due to moving abroad as it has been a great, reliable car. This is also legit.
Inspection welcome. What is this inspection thing of which you speak?
You are bidding to buy not tyre kick. 10/10 will kick all tyres before handing over the cash. May make that sharp intake of breath sound that Mechanics AND Shit Local Radio DJs make.
Cash on collection only. *awkwardly puts mexican jumping beans back in wallet.
NB Wheel centres are now fitted. Where do I sign?
Be honest. I've bloody lost it, haven't I?