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Memoirs from the Hard Shoulder: Fucking French Cars (Not literally)


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#31 ONLINE   BorniteIdentity

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Posted 26 January 2017 - 03:33 PM

Sit rep.

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  • AND - a very interesting development that really, REALLY shouldn't have happened. More soon!

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#32 OFFLINE   Brodders

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Posted 26 January 2017 - 04:09 PM

Have you bought that MG ZR that your friend was selling?

If you did, I commend you.

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#33 ONLINE   BorniteIdentity

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Posted 26 January 2017 - 04:13 PM

Have you bought that MG ZR that your friend was selling?

If you did, I commend you.


That's a negative, Ghostrider. The pattern is full. So I declined it and another AS member is taking it on.

Which is why I went and agreed to buy something else yellow and horrible not 6 hours later.

(!)
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#34 OFFLINE   shumarialto

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Posted 26 January 2017 - 04:33 PM

:-D i take it you went for the Escort then  :mrgreen:



#35 ONLINE   BorniteIdentity

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Posted 26 January 2017 - 04:36 PM

:-D i take it you went for the Escort then  :mrgreen:

 

I prefer to think of it as "The Escort went for me".  The Rover and The Escort both sort of happened, certainly with The Raver.  I put a Wanted Ad out and was offered it.  The Escort was just a polite email off the back of a failed eBay auction and the bASe?  Well I'm still not sure how I ended up with it!


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#36 OFFLINE   shumarialto

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Posted 26 January 2017 - 05:14 PM

Your fleet is class, loved your old 190 as well but the 75 is just the best. Have i mentioned i like Y spokes?  :-D


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#37 ONLINE   BorniteIdentity

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Posted 28 January 2017 - 06:54 PM

I'd be lying if I said the upcoming purchase of the mk3 Escort hadn't caused friction between management and I. Fortunately, I'm back in her good books and all's well. Sometimes I forget that people don't always know my thinking, even though there's always method behind the madness.

I put an advert in the shop asking for storage, and was offered space in a barn in the next village as well as a garage just around the corner.

It wasn't quite what I was expecting (!)

ce56e6b5e372d0226db23936a6d239b9.jpg

How disappointed is he going to be when a two tone 'scrote comes kangaroo hopping down his drive!!

Collection this week hopefully.

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#38 OFFLINE   Skizzer

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Posted 28 January 2017 - 07:10 PM

Now THAT'S a lock-up.

 

I'd somehow missed the yellow Escort episode hitherto - excellent work, glad Mrs Identity has forgiven you.  You are turning into a serious collector of miserable-looking Fords.  Fantastic.


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#39 OFFLINE   RobT

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Posted 28 January 2017 - 10:54 PM

Blimey that looks lovely. Will he let you do oil changes on the gravel I wonder?
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#40 OFFLINE   Brodders

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Posted 28 January 2017 - 11:05 PM

Wow, that is very nice, it looks like you would be able to get quite a few cars in there (and yes, that is a prompt for you to buy more cars, including that Cavalier Base which is in the ebay thread).

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#41 OFFLINE   dollywobbler

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Posted 28 January 2017 - 11:38 PM

I may be getting paranoid in my old age, but I'd be way of posting up pics of where old cars are stored. Even if there is a Rover on guard duty.
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#42 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted 28 January 2017 - 11:38 PM

Great lock up



#43 ONLINE   BorniteIdentity

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Posted 29 January 2017 - 11:41 AM

I may be getting paranoid in my old age, but I'd be way of posting up pics of where old cars are stored. Even if there is a Rover on guard duty.

 

Possibly a bit.

 

Plus it's gated AND I have to go and 'meet the guard dogs' on Tuesday.

 

Oh, and there's a moat.

 

(!)


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#44 OFFLINE   beko1987

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Posted 29 January 2017 - 11:51 AM

Ah the moat will save the Escort, it'll dissolve before its even halfway across!
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#45 OFFLINE   shumarialto

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Posted 29 January 2017 - 12:02 PM

Moat looks class as does the armed guards and the cannon  :mrgreen:

 

Great chance of a 75 photo shoot, looks at home there.


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#46 ONLINE   BorniteIdentity

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Posted 29 January 2017 - 12:25 PM

Moat looks class as does the armed guards and the cannon  :mrgreen:

 

Great chance of a 75 photo shoot, looks at home there.

 

Fortunately, the "moat" is only to three sides of the house.  The other has the gated access and gravel.

 

The guy kept asking about the car.  "what sort of vintage" etc.  Naturally I kept things vague until the deal was done!


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#47 ONLINE   BorniteIdentity

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Posted 29 January 2017 - 07:43 PM

Probably won't get a lot of time to update y'all this week on the incoming Escort, so here's the low down.

 

As featured in the eBay Thread - it's a 'scrote that looks like it's playing Tetris with itself.

 

s-l1600.jpg

 

I know.  Doesn't look too bad, does it?  That 'golden hour' at twilight flatters even the worst of cars.  Let's take another look.

 

s-l1600 (2).jpg

 

There's absolutely no business sense to this purchase.  A perfectly nice one is £1000, and they have the added bonus of being all the same colour.  But, as utterly stupid as it sounds, there's something beguiling about this little old thing.  Without being vulgar and talking money, he's agreed to sell it to me 'half price'.

 

s-l1600 (1).jpg

 

s-l1600 (3).jpg

 

s-l1600 (4).jpg

 

s-l1600 (5).jpg

 

s-l1600 (6).jpg

 

Here's the eBay advert  - with my corrections in bold.

 

Ford Escort Mk3 1.3L 5 Door 1986 - MOT to Jan 2018, taxed so can be driven away.  I will be testing this for myself.  Friday rush hour.  M6/M1.  WCPGW?
 
These cars are now enjoying classic status and will only appreciate in value.  He's probably not wrong.  Any old shitty Ford that goes both backwards and forwards seems to eventually attract the Old Ford Tax/Levy.
 
Rare Citrine Yellow. 5 Door 1.3L Genuine 44853 miles  Wrong.  Prairie yellow.  Mileage isn't exactly genuine, as the speedo cable was disconnected for all of 10 miles.
 
We have owned it since 2003 and the previous owner owned it from 1995, the previous two owners to him were members of his family.  Nice to hear, regardless of accuracy.
 
This car has recently been sympathetically repaired/restored, and there are no holes or horrid crunchy bits in the bodywork. Very clean as you will see from the photos.   Depends on your definition of restored, but there's certainly some work gone into it.
 
Comes with full 12 months MOT.  Car is taxed so can be driven away.  Frankly, the length of the MOT was a bit of a deal breaker!
 
New parts:
 
2 new front wings
Front lower valance and cross beam
2 New sills
2 New rear wheel arches
New rear brakes - cylinders, shoes etc
New tyres
New front grill (after pheasant strike!)
New tinted windscreen
 
I've been shitting myself that I've agreed to this purchase at way, way over the odds on price.  However, having seen the time and love that went into doing about half of this on the Sierra, probably seems about fair.
 
Has been cleaned, sprayed and waxoyled underneath from front to back.  Hmmm.  I'd have preferred to see the car withOUT the waxoyl™, but we are where we are.
 
New panels have been painted in primer ready for you to spray in colour of your choice or original colour (up to you)  Definitely the yellow, I thank you.
 
Original clean interior.  Not sure it's that clean, but BIL has a cleaning company and £3,500 worth of carpet shampoo machine. (Yes, I too never realised you could spend that on a "hoover")
 
Original Ford radio and cassette player.  Gr9 for playing "No Jacket Required - Phil Collins" on for the journey home.
 
Original rear number plate with supplying dealer logo.  Getting replicated for the front ASAP
 
Original owners handbook/service book, Ford audio book and period leaflet of Ford dealers.  DILLIGAF?
 
All MOTs and tax discs since we have owned it.  Cool Story Bro.
 
The bumper end caps rotted so were removed, it is possible to source replacements easily on eBay.  Sounds like typical "Dealer Chat", but the fronts are certainly a doddle.  I'll enjoy playing "Hide and Seek" with the other bits.
 
Only selling due to moving abroad as it has been a great, reliable car.  This is also legit.
 
Inspection welcome.  What is this inspection thing of which you speak?
 
You are bidding to buy not tyre kick.  10/10 will kick all tyres before handing over the cash.  May make that sharp intake of breath sound that Mechanics AND Shit Local Radio DJs make.
 
Cash on collection only.  *awkwardly puts mexican jumping beans back in wallet.
 
NB Wheel centres are now fitted.  Where do I sign?
 
 
 
 
 
Be honest.  I've bloody lost it, haven't I?
 
SOS.

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#48 OFFLINE   Hooli

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Posted 29 January 2017 - 07:52 PM

It certainly is a shonky shitter but they were fun back in the day.

 

Give it ten years & sell it for lotsmany pounds as ideal for a XR3 replica (just don't mention the extra doors.



#49 OFFLINE   trigger

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Posted 29 January 2017 - 07:58 PM

Your a mentalist but that needs a photo next to the AS Sierra, in fairness it looks pretty tidy and it is a rare colour.

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#50 ONLINE   BorniteIdentity

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Posted 29 January 2017 - 07:59 PM

Oh, and I asked the vendor if they haven any pictures of the car in happier times.  This is from 2003, when they first bought it.

 

I'm hoping there are more, and that I can take them away or at least get some nice scans sorted.

 

$_12.jpg

 

 


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#51 OFFLINE   danthecapriman

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Posted 29 January 2017 - 08:01 PM

Yes you've definitely lost it.


But that is just awesome! It looks in brilliant fettle for what it is and it's age, just wants painting. I'd 100% say keep it yellow too.

Can't wait to see more about this one.
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#52 OFFLINE   They_all_do_that_sir

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Posted 29 January 2017 - 09:03 PM

Get a video of the garage owner's reaction when you turn up in this and not a vintage Bentley ;)

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#53 ONLINE   BorniteIdentity

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Posted 01 February 2017 - 03:31 PM

Not very happy.

 

I've just had an email from the Escort seller saying they've agreed to sell it to someone else, at closer to their asking price.

 

I've so far shelled out:

 

£50 on train tickets.

£xxx on a days lost pay. (A lot, but I don't want to brag)

£180 on insurance

£25 on two rear bumper ends.

 

I'm really fucking sad.  I work all the hours possible, literally leaving myself Saturday afternoons off and that's it.  I would absolutely never bloody go back on a deal, certainly like this.

 

I want to email back and let fly - I also want to ignore them to see if they get nervous about me arriving on Friday to collect.  They probably won't give a flying fuck either way.

 

:(


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#54 OFFLINE   Roverageous

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Posted 01 February 2017 - 03:34 PM

I'd be lying if I said the upcoming purchase of the mk3 Escort hadn't caused friction between management and I. Fortunately, I'm back in her good books and all's well. Sometimes I forget that people don't always know my thinking, even though there's always method behind the madness.

I put an advert in the shop asking for storage, and was offered space in a barn in the next village as well as a garage just around the corner.

It wasn't quite what I was expecting (!)

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/2017012...

How disappointed is he going to be when a two tone 'scrote comes kangaroo hopping down his drive!!

Collection this week hopefully.

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Absolutely smashing. My 75 lock up is rather less fitting.

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#55 OFFLINE   Mally

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Posted 01 February 2017 - 03:47 PM

That's a bummer, am sure a few people will have ideas on the way to get your own back.

I do the same as you, sort everything in advance and trust the other party to keep their word.

I have a collection Friday, 150 miles each way. Hope for a better result than yours.

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#56 OFFLINE   Tickman

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Posted 01 February 2017 - 03:58 PM

That is a bit out of order, is it actually sold? 

Possibly worth someone else asking to buy it for more than the advert price, then pulling out just in time for you to turn up and collect it!


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#57 ONLINE   BorniteIdentity

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Posted 01 February 2017 - 04:02 PM

Meh what's the point.  I emailed her, saying how much it's cost me.  But, worst of all, my 4 year old lad has been asking non stop about "the yellow car" since last weekend and when can we go for a drive to Nanny's"

 

I know this sounds ridiculous, but I am properly upset.

 

I think I'm just guilty of expecting people to meet my expectations and standards.  Maybe it's my fault, and not theirs at all.

 

Anyway, I'm off to find someone to kick. 

 

Thanks for your support chaps.  Bit of time out probably req'd.


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#58 OFFLINE   shumarialto

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Posted 01 February 2017 - 04:04 PM

That's out of order, i would contact him and politely explain the money you have forked out to get stuff and see what he says.



#59 ONLINE   BorniteIdentity

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Posted 01 February 2017 - 04:06 PM

That's out of order, i would contact him and politely explain the money you have forked out to get stuff and see what he says.

"Sorry".

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#60 OFFLINE   shumarialto

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Posted 01 February 2017 - 04:09 PM

"Sorry".

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:mad: some folk. Makes me mad i know i would be fuming with the loss of that amount of money. Hope the sale to the other chap falls through.






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