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Volvo 262C


Sam Glover

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To dodge charges of using Autoshite exclusively for palming off cars like an imperialist flunky, I’ll begin by flaunting what this Volva’s making space for…

 

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It’s a GAZ 31012 – a Volga for ’surveillance and harassment’. It has a 5.5-litre Chaika V8 and such KGB novelties as a fake manual gearstick, a fake clutch pedal (they both operate the brakes) and a lever between the rear seats that opens the boot. To my knowledge, it's the only genuine 31012 in existence (there's a handful of later 31013s – but it's us 31012 owners that get the girls).

 

Now… imperialist flunkyism:

 

I offer you this rarest of curiosities: a Volvo, but without practicality, reliability, Scandinavian good taste or adequate rustproofing. Yes! It’s a 262C. The C stands for one of many words that start with C.

 

It’s been Fritzl’d in my car repository since 2009 and it’s never floated to the creamy head atop the milk-churn of progress. Much as it’s awesome, it’ll probably never happen.

 

It was registered in August 1979, it has a terrible 2849cc PRV engine and it’s done 112k miles. It’s clearly stagnated for quite some time. I’ve never tried to start it. The engine turns over by hand by it has that unmistakable “I’m really not going to make this easy for you, bitch†look to it.

 

It’s good underneath. It’s got dirty P40-filled holes where the rear inner wheelarches meet the spare wheel wells. There’s a small orifice in the front of the driver's side inner wheelarch where it meets the sill. Otherwise, I think it’s structurally rust-free.

 

The body’s shit. The rear wheelarches have very crusty flanges. There are nasty scabs in various places and jagged gashes in the front and rear screen surrounds. The ugliest crevices are in the photos below.

 

The interior’s pretty good. There’s a small tear in the driver’s seat and some rodent-related damage to a few bits of (eminently replaceable) plastic. Otherwise, with a good clean and the application of some lubricant it should make a very pleasing sweaty ruched-and-tufted black leather sex dungeon.

 

It’s near Chippenham. Brap!

 

I’m open to offers and persuasion. I’m aware that it has some value – but I’d like it to go to a pervert and I’m not greedy.

 

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That Gaz is fascinating, so they went to the hassle of fitting a fake gear lever and pedal?! Unbelievable.

 

The Volvo on the other hand is pure 70s gangster, I'm sure there's a restorer out there who will love to take that on for instant profit.

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That deserves an autistic reply. Wikipedia propagates the false dreams of imperialist aggressors.

 
The 31011 was a prototype with the 4.25-litre V8 from a GAZ-53 truck. As far as I know, it never entered series production.
 
The 31012 has a 5.53-litre V8 and auto 'box from a GAZ-13 Chaika. It was the fully-cloaked surveillance-specification car, disguised as a standard Volga 3102 (c/w single exhaust tailpipe and hence the fake clutch pedal and manual gearstick). Total production: 29.
 
The 32013 has a 5.53-litre V8 and auto 'box from a GAZ-14 Chaika. It was the declassified pursuit-specification version, with twin exhaust pipes. Total production 283.
 
All 31012s and 31013s were officially destroyed when they left service. Corruption is a marvellous thing.
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I'm sure there's a restorer out there who will love to take that on for instant profit.

 

 

Well indeed. I'd like it to go to a fetishist who really wants it. If anyone falls into this category – send me a PM. The price is dependent on my level of approval.

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262C is high on the Volvo desirability list but inversely proportional to the funds available. No bloody space either.

That Volga on the other hand is fucking superb! You'll need to don a black suit and terrify the locals with it.

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