The 405 News

[pshome]

oh scheisse...

[richardmorris]

That’s a hell of a trip. Good luck!

[Dick Longbridge]

That’s a bugger. Hope she’ll be alright again.

[carlo]

Could we pick that stuff up next Saturday?

 

Don't see why not. 

 

pm me.

[Felly Magic]

Bastard, hope everyone's OK

[Magnificent Rustbucket]

Oh that's horrible luck. Still, thankfully no one was injured, the structure of the car is undamaged and you have the skills to fix it..

[Talbot]

Slam panel, which is plastic

I'm assuming you know how much of a complete twat these are to change? The bolts that hold the plastic panel into the steel cross-piece at the lowest point at the front are always utterly rotten and usually rip the plastic to pieces.

 

If you need to get one off another car unscathed, cut the heads off the bolts and then remove the rest on the bench. IIRC there is a captive square-nut mounted in the plastic which can be removed, but not with the panel on the car.

[Junkman]

I'm assuming you know how much of a complete twat these are to change?

 

Nope.

 

Ain't life a bitch?

[MorrisItalSLX]

On the plus side, if carlo's bumper is used you will gain a front spoiler!

 

[Junkman]

We've been busy bees.

 

 

[Junkman]

I also booked a hire van for the trip on Saturday.

That's gonna be fun shite.

[Junkman]

Okay, time to reflect a little, so here is the full story.

 

The Junkwoman complained about squeaking bakes, which, as you may remember, were all new last autumn.

So I decided to take them apart and treat the moving bits to some copper grease. Naturally for this the pistons were pushed back into the calipers.

One everything was back together, the pedal was pumped a few times until normal feel and pressure was restored.

I then decided to take the car to the car wash. I started it, shifted it into gear while standing on the brake, let the brake go, the car creeped forward,

as it should, I stepped on the brake again and the pedal fell straight to the floor.

I panicked and before I could pull the handbrake, the car slammed into my garden wall.

The pedal falling to the floor must have been caused by the braking system getting servo vacuum for the first time after reassembly,

since after pumping it another few times with the engine running, the brakes resumed normal operation again.

[Mally]

I doff my cap to you Sir.

I'd have a length of 50 x 25 across the front by now.

3 tickets now please in view of your extra expenses.

[somewhatfoolish]

[r.welfare]

I feel your pain.

 

Ten years ago I owned a 405 estate, which I was extremely fond of. After a long drive for business I backed it onto my driveway, applied the handbrake, and went inside the house.

 

Two hours later my neighbour knocked on my door to inform me my 405 was now embedded in a low brick wall it had demolished, about 50yds downhill from my driveway, which was on a small slope.

 

Since then I always leave my car in gear when I park it.

 

Mine had more damage than yours; in addition to the front end panelwork and bumper I also needed to straighten an inner wing, and replace the cracked windscreen.

 

It's good to see the car being repaired, they are excellent vehicles, which is why I went through the effort to repair mine with a variety of secondhand parts that were then sprayed, fairly inexpertly, to a reasonable facsimile of the correct colour and finish. I owned four, three estates and one saloon.

[forddeliveryboy]

Hope you don't need to get the cement mixer out for wall repairs as well as car fettling. Could be worse, as one always says after these daft events - good that the car generates so much affection a repair is underway. But had to read your account twice to see it wasn't J-woman to blame!

 

Bon chance et bonne route, as Pete and Dud once said in reference to French motoring. 405s are such superb cars and becoming scarce.

[pshome]

the garden wall is OK?

[Junkman]

the garden wall is OK?

 

 

Of course not.

And that mangy excuse for a tree could also have been planted elsewhere.

[Talbot]

 

Familiar view is familiar.

 

IIRC there are three largeish bolts that hold the plastic front panel on at the bottom. I broke all of mine, but then the cars were being scrapped.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

BEEP BOOB I AM AN ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE FROM THE YEAR 2050

 

I HAVE ANALYSED ALL OF JUNKMAN'S POSTS FOR THE FOLLOWING TOPICS

 

junkman's car

damaged

brick wall

 

USING THIS INFORMATION I HAVE CREATED AN ACCURATE RECREATION OF THIS EVENT

 

 

 

[Junkman]

In AI terms, this is very accurate.

When do I get my self driving car?

Can't wait to entrust my life to AI.

[Jim Bell]

Itll be quicker and easier to just change Mrs Junkmans name to AI by deed poll. Then you can just make her do everything AND blame her for everything.

[Partridge]

I can only imagine how annoying that it is. But it could have been MUCH worse (you could have crashed it into another one of your cars). Seeing the wall, I'm amazed the impact didn't do more damage.

At least you're capable of fixing the damage caused by your own mistake - many aren't and would need a garage, or just bin the car.

[Pillock]

As a bonus, because you didn't bin it into the back of an appliance white Audi A4 you're not having to deal with some shitty insurance company who will give the other driver a Bentley hire car and claim it back off you.

 

Aka "could be worse"

[rantingYoof]

Ten years ago I owned a 405 estate, which I was extremely fond of. After a long drive for business I backed it onto my driveway, applied the handbrake, and went inside the house.

 

Two hours later my neighbour knocked on my door to inform me my 405 was now embedded in a low brick wall it had demolished, about 50yds downhill from my driveway, which was on a small slope.

 

Since then I always leave my car in gear when I park it.

 

Hah!

 

My driveway is quite steep, and I park my Volvo on it facing forwards with the nose up. I leave it in first gear, and put the handbrake on.

 

As everyone will surely know, Volvos have a well earned reputation for having robust, reliable handbrake mechanisms. My car is no exception, and after putting the handbrake on (which involves a full and brisk 90 degree rotation of my left elbow and basically leaves the tip of the handbrake pointing up at the roof of the car), it will STILL roll backwards around 40-50cm even when in gear.

 

This is clearly an additional polite feature that Volvo have incorporated into its design of the S60. Essentially, after parking up my car is saying 'Are you sure here is fine? I can move a bit backwards if you want? Honestly, it's no problem, and I'm sure parking half a metre back from where you stopped is actually what you'd rather do'. Which is really quite advanced if you think about it in a complete state of denial.

 

Obviously this has no reflection on how good the handbrake isn't and doesn't suggest at all that the gearbox or first gear in particular is completely gubbed, and parking on my drive and leaving the car has in no way become the equivalent of an extreme sport with high levels of adrenaline and potential for damage.

[Floatylight]

Hah!

 

My driveway is quite steep, and I park my Volvo on it facing forwards with the nose up. I leave it in first gear, and put the handbrake on.

 

As everyone will surely know, Volvos have a well earned reputation for having robust, reliable handbrake mechanisms. My car is no exception, and after putting the handbrake on (which involves a full and brisk 90 degree rotation of my left elbow and basically leaves the tip of the handbrake pointing up at the roof of the car), it will STILL roll backwards around 40-50cm even when in gear.

 

This is clearly an additional polite feature that Volvo have incorporated into its design of the S60. Essentially, after parking up my car is saying 'Are you sure here is fine? I can move a bit backwards if you want? Honestly, it's no problem, and I'm sure parking half a metre back from where you stopped is actually what you'd rather do'. Which is really quite advanced if you think about it in a complete state of denial.

 

Obviously this has no reflection on how good the handbrake isn't and doesn't suggest at all that the gearbox or first gear in particular is completely gubbed, and parking on my drive and leaving the car has in no way become the equivalent of an extreme sport with high levels of adrenaline and potential for damage.

I also have a steep driveway sloping toward the house. Early one morning I was awakened to the sound of what I assumed to be next doors trailer brakes being released, thinking it was an odd time to move a trailer I peered through the curtains to see my car bumping down the driveway winding the engine over as it went following the handbrake cable snapping. I'd thrown some trousers left by the bed on, managed to get the key in the door open it and get the footbrake in, about 20cm before it went through the garage door...

 

Sent from my Moto G (5) using Tapatalk

[NorfolkNWeigh]

But had to read your account twice to see it wasn't J-woman to blame!

.

You obviously missed this bit; " The Junkwoman complained about squeaking brakes"

 

In my house this would be enough to apportion blame for not only the 405/ wall interface, but anything that goes wrong with any vehicle or building for at least 6 months.

[chatsharris]

My brother came in from a long drive and parked his 75 on my steep, steep driveway. Handbrake on, and went to bed. I went down to the kitchen to grab a beer and I hear a loud bang. Wondering what it was, my brother got dressed and ran outside and let out a sound I never heard come from another human. As the car cooled down for the night, I can only assume the rear brakes contracted a bit, and the handbrake lost it's bite. It rolled into my neighbours house! Amazingly, the only damage to the house was a boiler run off pipe being broken. The 75 however was left with a big right angle dent down the boot.

 

It got 'Chicks dig scars' written on the back and kept on going until electrical maladies killed it off at 260k.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

 

Off we go.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

The van is a Renault Kangoo. It is gloomy. As to passenger comfort, I think I might be better off rolling around on the ply in the back.