Project Dr.Fraud's Private Scrapyard

[Eddie Honda]

For reasons only known to Suzuki engineers, a 3/8" ratchet extension looks like a good fit but isn't. The seemingly minute difference is unfortunately enough to maim the drain plug, which then becomes an absolute bastard to remove.

Suppose it depends on the quality of the 3/8" square. Rennos aren't fussy about the minute difference IME.

 

I'm not knocking buying tools BTW, as I have both these:

 

Facom D.105-10

 

Facom D.13A

[Sigmund Fraud]

Mmmm... Facom !!! I'm a huge fan of their stuff, but they're not easy to find in Britain.

[Eddie Honda]

I like them too, but I'm poor.

 

I got the 8/10 wrench because the Pug has 8mm plugs and the Citroen and Volvo have 10s. There's a Beta tools equivalent, but it has both 90deg bends on the same plane, so it'll sit flat on a bench.

 

Beta 1496C

 

 

 

The Britool/Draper Expert is bent just like the Facom:

 

 

 

 

And the Laser 3121 has looser bends:

 

 

 

I do have half a dozen Facom tappet wrenches for Renaults. I was just looking for a T251, but ended up with a full house (6).

[Sigmund Fraud]

It's worth pointing out that Britool, Expert and Facom are all in the same group, and many of their designs look nearly identical but their quality is definitely not !

 

Of course, Facom is also significantly more expensive, but money spent on quality tools is never wasted !

[Eddie Honda]

It's your fault I spend some of last night drooling over Facom tools.

 

Reality means a Clarke HD Plus tool cabinet soon.

[Sigmund Fraud]

It's time for your irregularly irregular update from Fraud Towers !

 

 

The Loopoo is now in the hands of a new, enthusiastic owner who intends to replace the gearbox and use it as a daily hack.

 

I had feared it would end up being broken for spares, so I'm really pleased it will live on !

 

 

In other VAG news, I recently spent a week behind the wheel of this shitter. It looks sporty, with its "arrow design", rimz and Recaroid interior, but really isn't. The engine feels like an early 1990s VTEC with a spark plug lead removed : gutless below 3000rpm, then slowly waking up to produce its maximum power at a deafening 6000rpm ! One has to frantically change gears all the time to keep the engine within its power band, which annoyed the hell out of me.

 

The car was otherwise no different to the Polo 6Rs I had driven before : competent but dull. I drove it a fair bit on twisty mountain roads, where the brakes seemed to let the rest of the car down. I don't think I was driving too fast, though my passengers were quick to notice the complete absence of "Jesus !" handles from the interior...

 

 

Back at Fraud Garages, the parts for the remaining maintenance jobs on the Ignis had arrived.

 

Suzuki recommends a 75W90 GL-4 gear oil, which few companies make nowadays. I considered using a (cheaper) GL-4/GL-5 rated oil or even a (much cheaper) GL-5, but eventually went for the proper stuff.

 

 

The old oil didn't look awful but was certainly past its best. The new oil seems to have made the gearchange slicker, and will hopefully prolong the life of the gearbox as well.

 

 

The last maintenance job that was due was the replacement of the sparkplugs. I had no idea when they were last done, as the previous owners had helpfully lost all of the car's history !.

 

I was expecting a DI cassette to be sitting underneath the spark plug cover, but was surprised to find a pleasantly anachronistic two-coil wasted-spark system ! Who said that modern cars are complicated ?

 

 

Another pleasant surprise was what I removed from the engine : nice NGK iridium plugs, evidence that the car had been looked after. They had also been torqued up properly, so replacing them was really easy.

 

I'm too cheap to buy iridium, so the little green thing will have to make do with a set of Denso TT plugs instead.

[Sigmund Fraud]

Every car mechanic, be they a professional or an amateur, can give you a list of jobs they don't particularly like doing on cars. Regular readers will know that gearboxes and exhausts feature prominently on my list.

 

August started brilliantly* for me, with the rear exhaust box of the ScAAB finally succumbing to rust and requiring replacement.

 

Finding a suitable part for a resonable amount of money was the first hurdle, as the local motor factors wanted over £100, with GSF and ECP quoting around £75.

 

Thankfully, EEC only wanted £50 for their clone of the OEM exhaust. So I ordered one through their ebay shop and two days later a chap in a Tuffnells shirt appeared at my doorstep carrying a bloody huge box. The box contained this :

 

 

Massive and heavy, as befits a quality* Swedish* automobile !

 

Unfortunately, removing the old exhaust wasn't as simple as I expected. Trying to undo the clamp with a feeble 3/8" ratchet resulted in this :

 

 

With the clamp off, I realised that corrosion had effectively welded the stubby pipe connecting the rear box to the middle part of the exhaust. Using brute force, I ripped the rest of the rear box off said stubby pipe, which then had to be sliced with a cutting disc and chiselled off.

 

 

Bloody hell ! At least, it gave me a chance to try my new 1mm cutting discs - I used to snub those, but after positive reviews by fellow 'shitters decided to give them a try. I now concur that they're excellent !

 

 

With the ScAAB back to its normal, quiet self I decided to address another of its issues.

 

Remember what I wrote back in February about the gearchange ?

 

...an incompetent moron (other than myself !) had been there before and had decided to remove the reverse lockout tab that also acts as the 5th gear selection guide. Great work !

 

Not a difficult part to replace, but it costs £25 which is a bit rich for a flimsy bit of plastic. I'll see if I can make do without it. I give myself a couple of weeks (and a dozen missed gearchanges) before I bite the bullet and pay.

 

Well, the problem irritated me for the best part of six months, but I remained reluctant to pay £25 for the lockout tab.

 

During a recent visit to the scrapyard, I spotted a condemned, manual 9-3 and decided I had to act ! I removed the part, put my best poker face on and asked the (chronically disinterested) yard owner for a price. "Fiver", he mumbled from behind his desk. Within seconds, I had handed him the relevant banknote and run out the door before he changed his mind.

 

I must confess that the phrase "refitting is a reversal of removal" has rarely been more inappropriate for a job... Under 60 seconds to remove the tab, nearly 30 minutes to install and re-align the mechanism so you can actually get 5th and reverse while driving.

 

 

With the box finally working as intended, I returned home triumphant, making sure I selected 5th as many times as I could !

 

Unfortunately, bad news were waiting for me at home. Mrs.F reported that something was seriously wrong with her Polo - she knew it was serious as it "whined like a superbike in 5th".

 

A test drive confirmed she was right, and a gear oil top-up made little difference. Yup, it's gearbox replacement time. The Loopoo may be gone, but 085 box karma has still gotten me  ! Bugger !

 

So where do I find a good 085 with a 1400cc differential ratio ? Nothing on ebay, plenty of 6N2s in the local scrapyard but the boxes are £100, you need to remove them yourself and there's no way to tell if they're any good. Argh !

 

A difficult decision, so I decided to go for a walk in the countryside, to clear my mind.

 

Ah, look at the pheasants in that field ! How quaint ! Hey, what's that black thing over there by the hedge ?

 

 

Yep, it's Mrs.F's old Polo that had been festering there for 18 months. It was completely rotten when it was parked up, and time hasn't made it any better. To our amazement, it started straight away with a new battery and extracted itself from the field with no issues. Wow !

 

It was then transported the short distance to Fraud Garages where a dismantling marathon began yesterday morning...

 

 

...continued through the day...

 

 

...and was concluded at dusk, with most useable parts removed from the car and safely stored.

 

Further gearbox shenanigans are planned for next weekend, so stay tuned for more VAGSHITE action !

 

[Mr_Bo11ox]

How come these gearboxes are so shit? What happens to them and can they be fixed??

[The Moog]

Good luck with the box. Hopefully you have topped up the teabags, biscuits and learnt a few new swearwords

[Sigmund Fraud]

How come these gearboxes are so shit? What happens to them and can they be fixed??

 

Well, they're the usual story of a reasonable design that got over-stretched over the years and was built using increasingly cheaper materials.

 

The basic design started in the Mk.I Golf as the 084 four-speeder. They bodged in a 5th gear in the 1980s to make the 085. I say bodged because its housing is separate to the rest of the box (furthest away from the bellhousing), and it sits physically higher than the other gears. This means that when the gear oil level drops, it's the first gear to be starved of oil (which is what probably happened to Mrs.F's car).

 

 

Oil leaks are not uncommon, because the gear selector shaft conveniently comes out of the back of the box, nearly at its lowest point. The seal for said shaft has to withstand radial movement, axial movement plus keep out plenty of debris from the road that invariably ends up on the exposed end of the shaft. Predictably, those seals start leaking gear oil within a few thousand miles of being replaced.

 

 

The third problem is not one of design but of manufacture. The differential bearings on those boxes were always marginal, but post-1997 (IIRC) VW began using cheaper bearings which have made those boxes even more unreliable than previously.

 

The 085 boxes are not particularly complex to take apart and rebuild, but a rebuild will still be time-consuming and a bearing kit is not cheap (considering that a mint 6N1 is still £500 to buy).

 

Having said that, I will soon have two buggered boxes, one with good diff bearings (but a fucked 5th) and one with a good 5th (but fucked bearings) so I am really tempted to make a good one out of the two... 

[purplebargeken]

This isn't a real update thread 'cos it has no variomatic exploits contained within. Phail.

[Sigmund Fraud]

This isn't a real update thread 'cos it has no variomatic exploits contained within. Phail.

 

It's only because my reliable* modern* cars keep falling apart, allowing me no time to look after my proper* classics*...

[Tamworthbay]

Buy Kens nice Ovlov variomatic and you can have the best of both worlds.

[Sigmund Fraud]

Buy Kens nice Ovlov variomatic and you can have the best of both worlds.

 

I sadly don't have space for it...

 

...unless, of course, someone* decides to buy my 66 Kombi  !

[purplebargeken]

Its a nice combi.

[Tamworthbay]

It is indeed, sadly a little out of my present car budget

[purplebargeken]

Clive, what have you ACTUALLY got now? I've really lost track lol.

[Tamworthbay]

Clive, what have you ACTUALLY got now? I've really lost track lol.

The Beemer estate (in for MoT in 26 minutes), the Capri, a Puma and a mini hillclimb project. So only four at the moment.

[purplebargeken]

Forgot about the Puma.

[Tamworthbay]

And me I think the Beemer did ok, just need to tweak the handbrake adjustment and we are good to go for another year.

[Sigmund Fraud]

It's been a VAGSHITE-special weekend, here at Fraud Garages !

 

I was up early on Saturday, and ready for the first task of the weekend : transporting the mortal remains of the organ donor Polo to Richard Noon's yard, where it could be given a fitting* burial...

 

 

Just before I left base, Mrs.F urged me to clarify with the scrapman that only the black car was to be crushed... What cheek !

 

I must confess that I did follow her advice when I drove over the weighbridge, though. Just in case...

 

Back to base, the minty Polo was put on axle stands, ready for the gearbox transplant :

 

 

A few profanity-filled hours later, the old box was out...

 

 

...and I prepared the replacement box for installation, by giving it a good clean...

 

 

...and replacing the notorious gear selector shaft seal (that I mentioned in a previous post) with a decent SKF part :

 

 

A few more hours of swearing, and the new box was in :

 

 

Mrs.F had reported that the starter motor was becoming sticky. It had to come off for the gearbox replacement, so I hit two birds with one stone by replacing it with a rebuilt one I had in stock :

 

 

Eventually everything was back in place, and the car was ready for a test drive. This confirmed that it was now working as intended :

 

 

Excellent !

 

But what was actually wrong with the old box ? I couldn't resist a quick post-mortem examination, for the benefit of Mr.Bo11s and any other fellow 'shitters who are interested in VW engineering excellence*.

 

So, here's the view with the end cover of the box off, revealing the 5th gear cluster :

 

 

The gear oil was mucky and gritty, despite having been replaced recently. On closer inspection, you could see metal fragments the size of grains of sugar everywhere. But what are those bits at the bottom of the housing ?

 

 

Oh... Where did those come from ?

 

 

Verdict : FUBAR.

 

At least, I now know why those gearboxes are PURE EVIL :

 

 

Let him who hath understanding, reckon the number of the Beast... For it is a human number VW casting number !

[worldofceri]

Proof that they are indeed cast from the Devil's own knob cheese.

 

(Yes, I too, am a victim of VAG's gearbox engineering excellence.)

[Sigmund Fraud]

This isn't a real update thread 'cos it has no variomatic exploits contained within. Phail.

 

Real update coming up...

 

...in the meantime, here's a massive pile of shite photographed next to some organic fertiliser :

 

[purplebargeken]

Laura ain't that bad surely.

[Sigmund Fraud]

Laura ain't that bad surely.

 

Yes she is !

 

Spent the whole morning yesterday unseizing and cleaning the brakes...

 

 

...which proceeded to completely seize again the first time I touched the pedal when I took her for a drive around the farm ! Fucking thing !

[purplebargeken]

How long has she been standing though?

[Sigmund Fraud]

So... As you may have guessed from the above pictures, I have finally decided to begin work on my poo brown 66 which had been sitting untouched in my workshop since I bought it three years ago !

 

In a most impressive display of Dutch French reliability, the engine was easy to start and quickly settled to a sweet, steady idle, despite having to run on the contents of the fuel tank which I expect nowadays have more in common with fermented yak piss than with petrol.

 

Unfortunately, once in gear the car simply refused to move, which suggested that the brakes (unassisted drums all around in this poverty-spec 66 De Luxe*) were completely seized.

 

Cue an entire morning of hammering the drums off, dismantling the shoes and unseizing the wheel cylinders with PlusGas, BFO and a heavy-duty clamp. Once the car was back on its wheels, I took it for a triumphant drive around the farm. This went fine until I had to use the brakes, which got stuck once again. Splendid.

 

So I had to limp back to the workshop at snail pace, with the engine revving frantically so the car would move, and repeat the whole process once again :

 

 

This time, I decided to do things properly, though :

 

 

In an ideal world, I would have just replaced the wheel cylinders with new ones. Unfortunately, the Lockheed cylinders used in 66s may look identical to BL Mini ones but they are not. So a quick and dirty rebuild was my only option, until I can source the correct parts.

 

The whole process took ages, but I eventually managed to put everything back together, bled the brakes and went for a second test drive, which was thankfully successful.

 

Back to the workshop, I turned my attention to bodywork, beginning with the re-assembly of the front end. My other Michelotti-designed shiteheap watched with great interest :

 

 

Fiddly bodywork jobs really annoy me, though, so it didn't take long for me to give up and take out the angle grinder...

 

 

As far as I can tell, this was the only bit of structural rot on the car. I cut it out, cleaned the surrounding area and gave everything a good coat of weld-through zinc primer. Since the grinder was out, I also made a rudimentary repair patch out of an old bonnet :

 

 

You will unfortunately have to wait for the next update to see the patch welded in place, as I had to turn my attention to Mrs F's car.

 

I had promised her that I would Waxoyl her Polo [edit : this is not a euphemism !] ages ago and wanted to get it over with while the weather was good :

 

[Sigmund Fraud]

Ah, just one more thing...

 

 

Mrs F : Sigmund, dear... Some idiot has parked a transporter with a scrap car outside our house. Do you want to go see if they're lost ?

Me : Erm... Er... Well... Perhaps... erm... they're not really lost, my dear...

 

[purplebargeken]

Ohhhh oh, what have you done now???

[r.welfare]

Is that a Panhard 24CT?